Top 100 quotes from christian fundamentalist forums

[Ronin]

People say the weirdest things.....

especially fundamentalists...

now...I don´t want to be inflammatory......so I will not comment on these "pearls of wisdom"...I will simply point out a few of my favorites....you people make up your minds.

(I might ROFLMAO a couple of times...but that´s it)


the list

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[on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
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There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

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[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

god tests every one of us [emphasis added]

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Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

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One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

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I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

[Kralizec]

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

[Mouzafphaerre]

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The Flat Earth Society

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

This one is an intended humour site though.

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[Fragony]

Could be worse

'Men that hit????????????'

'About to get married and I am already bruised all over'

http://forums.marokko.nl/showthread.php?t=52258

State funded website btw, but yeah let's laugh at christians

[Crazed Rabbit]

Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

CR

[Rodion Romanovich]

People say the weirdest things.....

especially fundamentalists...

Nice ones! Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious... unless they somehow get hold of a gun or even worse: a position of political influence...

[Fragony]

Muhammed loved only one 6 year old because he couldn't invent the number 666 at the time.

You may laugh now.

[ShadesPanther]

I love obsession over the King James Bible.

They think the origianl Hebrew version (if different from KJ) is wrong, not the other way round.

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[on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.

leyenda , KJB only [Comments (125)] [2007-Aug-06]

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[continuing his hard-on for the KJV]

If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James --- your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.

AV1611VET, Christian Forums [Comments (112)] [2006-Jul-20]

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The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.

Donskey, King James Bible Only [Comments (82)] [2007-Jan-26]

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I am a Christian btw and I do find they brilliant as it shows ignorant people.

[Mouzafphaerre]

Muhammed loved only one 6 year old because he couldn't invent the number 666 at the time.

You may laugh now.

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Now What is that?
.

[Fragony]

"Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.

[Rodion Romanovich]

"Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.

Don't worry, nobody here thinks muslim fundamentalists are better than Christian fundamentalists. If what you keep saying here at the .org is true, maybe that is the case in the Netherlands, however, but not here from what I can see. As for your statement I'm glad it's so incomprehensible, otherwise it would probably violate quite a few forum rules

[Tribesman]

Now What is that?

That is Fragony .

[woad&fangs]

Christian Politicians
Obsession with English

I love that website.

Edit: Tribesman

[seireikhaan]

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

(And I'm not laughing at Christianity, only the idiots who we call fundamentalists)(also, that one's just sheer hilarity, regardless of who it came from)

[Vladimir]

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

[CrossLOPER]

That is Fragony at his intellectual peak .

lol

I am loving this thread.

[Marshal Murat]

I read the Atheist Majority one....

Hmmmm.....

Even better

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.

Even worse.

[Mikeus Caesar]

I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie

I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.

To be quite honest, most of this stuff is making me facepalm. But to be fair, the other side of the argument has it's fair share of morans and idorts.

[Papewaio]

Earl Grey makes me sleepy too.

[Mouzafphaerre]

"Good demonstration of why not to take fundamentalists and dogmatics serious..."

Thought it was a good exmple why you should be careful anyway, but some seem to get a little more caution.

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It helps posting a little less obscure.
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[Ignoramus]

Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

[Zim]

I can think of some forums where that would be too politically incorrect, but with the group here at the org I don't think it would be an issue. I've found that the people are are generally exceptional.

Now, I wonder if there is such a list somewhere. Seeing as it's the internet, there has to be...

Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

[HoreTore]

Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

I'd surely laugh if there were any good quotes in there. And if there was a sexual section in it, it's bound to, the "conservative meets hippie make love not war society" always cracks me up.

And do note though, that these qoutes do not make fun of christians, as CR stated. It makes fun of idiots. Example:


"There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."

The fun here isn't that christianity provides a different explanation to where we come from, the fun is the completely closed mind of this individual. We don't laugh at him because he doesn't believe in evolution, we laugh at him because of his utter ignorance and complete lack of curiosity.

Fragony's attempted rebuttal "joke" fails miserably; unlike these quotes, he attacks the religion/holy figures instead of believers showing their ignorance. Please try again

[Zim]

It appears my googlefu is weak. I spent some time doing a few searches to see if there was such a list for Muslim Fundamentalists, and all I got were links full of lists for Christians.

I'd start one myself but I have no desire to spend as much time going through forums filled with nutjobs as whoever did the Christian one.

I suppose if you broadened it beyond forum quotes a good one would be when the Iranian president said there are no homosexuals in Iran.

Then there are all those times a president or important figure of a country denies the holocaust. I never know whether to laugh or cry when that happens.

Look into any large group and you'll find nuts who say stupid things. Laughing at them is about the only way to keep from weeping at the rampant stupidity in the world.

[Viking]

Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

CR

Laughing at Tom Cruise is more correct?

Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

In (most) western societies, Christians are abundant and they have power, whereas muslims have not. (in most) Muslims are also minorities; such a list wouldn't necessarily be too funny. Create the list and post it if you find it funny.

[Ronin]

Great, another thread to laugh at Christians.

CR

I made no affirmation as to the validity of these quotes....

all I did was post them as I found them...


now....if all the responses to this have been ->
I propose that the fault here lies in the quotes and not on this thread.

[Ronin]

Just one question. I wonder if anyone would post "Top 100 quotes from Islamic fundamentalist forums", or would that be too politically incorrect?

I posted the christian list because I came across that web page on another forum......

for me go right ahead and post an Islamic equivalent....I´m sure I´ll be right next to you laughing my head off.

[macsen rufus]

Well, there are dumb sheep in every flock But some of those quotes are totally priceless

What worries me is that people like this, with their slightly less than complete grasp of scientific principles seem to think that their faith can be used to determine what scientific education other people's children receive. Scary as well as funny....

Anyway, nice find, Ronin

[Husar]

Hmm, I didn't read it at first, no time and suspicion of christian bashing but I have to say now they're quite hilarious even from a christian perspective.

There are those who would defend the notion that earth is flat just because the evil atheists say it's round.

[R'as al Ghul]

This reminds me of...

Laughter is a devilish wind which deforms, uh, the lineaments of the face and makes men look like monkeys.
Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith, because without fear of the Devil there is no more need of God.