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Thread: Top ten new features for the expansion pack

  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member Forward Observer's Avatar
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    STW is a great game, but great as it is there are a few new features that must be added with the expansion pack.

    1. All battles that last over 30 minutes will have a 5 minute bathroom and smoke break for those troops still alive. Those who do not smoke or need to go should spend this time checking their equipment

    2. After victory there will be one ration of sake per trooper, and no more of that rot-gut for the Ashigaru. They get the good stuff like everybody else.

    3. Release a cheat to get a Geisha on the first move. This is for when you want a really quick game.

    4. Create a geisha unit. Sixty or so of these bitches from hell might surprise the crap out of your opponent in multiplayer.

    5. Allow a 1000% tax rate. This makes just as much mathematical sense as 125%, so why not? This would get provinces like Izu up to some serious koku, so they would be worth a fight.

    6. Add some diversity to the investment portfolio. Rice futures are just to damn unstable, so we need to be able to invest in emerging technologies like the castle and fort gate construction business.

    7. Add a latrine detail unit. The smell around camp is almost unbearable, and you really have to watch where you step in the mornings.

    8. Issue overshoes to the Ashigaru and the monks for winter fights. The medical costs for frostbite to feet are getting way out of hand.

    9. Require manditory drug testing for warrior monks. They are just a bit too wired up for their actions to be attributed to simple religious fervor.

    10. Add penalties and a penalty box for fouls and un-sportsman like conduct. This would apply mostly to the Canadian and northern US versions of Shogun.

    I know you will agree these are only basic and need to be added Cheers.


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    Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.
    Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.

  2. #2
    Member Member Karhu's Avatar
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    Another necessary addition is the DEL +H (delete Hojo) hotkey, for use in the first season to balance the game out.
    The general claimed the troops owed their victory to him, but in truth they knew it was their gift to the general.

  3. #3
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Another excellent list FO!

    All warriors will take a cue from the No Dachi and wear red clothing. This hides the blood better thus helping to sooth the nerves of the Ashigaru.

    Add a Rout Dojo. The routs lately have been chaotic at best and it is only a matter of time until someone gets hurt in the panic.

    Can we please have an option to remove Pat Morita from the throne room?

    Add an option for warriors to remove the flags from their backs thus trading identification (and smart looking too) for charging speed. Flag removal can cut 0.12 seconds off a warrior's 40 yard dash time.

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  4. #4
    Senior Member Senior Member Vanya's Avatar
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    hehe!

    I like your idea! I have formed a new Rout Dojo, and am striving to teach my troops that, should they rout, they are to exit the battlefield in a single-file line and in an orderly fashion. Dojo DIs will erect EXIT signs on each battlefield prior to each battle to assist those of reduced mental capacity...

    [Sips sake, eats popcorn]

  5. #5
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    ...like my taishos!
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  6. #6
    Member Member candidgamera's Avatar
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    FO:

    Another great humorous post there.

    On the Geisha unit: must have the "swish-swish" sound files to go with: you can hear them coming a ways off even from the woods.
    Also they'd move slower than Nags I think.

    Castle door research: LMAON remembering your last explanation to that and about spoons.

    On latrines: would be nice to see attrition from disease or have disease as an event.
    “You know the sound of thunder Mrs. Garret."
    "Ofcourse"
    "Can you imagine that sound if I asked you to?"
    "Yes I can Mr. Hickok."
    "Your husband and me had this talk, and I told him to head home to avoid a dark result. But I didn't say it in thunder. Ma'am, listen to the thunder.”

  7. #7
    Member Member The Bear's Avatar
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    I like Pat Morita. Karaté Kid part VI was the best film ever.

    I also think that Adolf Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy.

    I also think that i should just shut up

    I think that's it

  8. #8
    Senior Member Senior Member Obake's Avatar
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    Damn Canadians! Or is it CanadiEns in Quebec? lol

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    I warned you, but did you listen? Ohh, no...it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?
    Obake

    Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.


  9. #9
    Senior Member Senior Member Forward Observer's Avatar
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    Can we please have an option to remove Pat Morita from the throne room?

    [/B][/QUOTE]

    Now I know why every other time I mouse click on him for some sage advise all I hear is "wax on, wax off"

    By the way does anyone remember which throne room has the Geisha sitting in the hot tub?



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    Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.
    Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.

  10. #10
    Member Member The Bear's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Obake:
    Damn Canadians! Or is it CanadiEns in Quebec? lol
    _____________________________________________
    It's Canadians or Quebecois depending on your political affiliation. Canadiens is the name of our once great hockey team in Montreal.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Senior Member Forward Observer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The Bear:
    Originally posted by Obake:
    Damn Canadians! Or is it CanadiEns in Quebec? lol
    _____________________________________________
    It's Canadians or Quebecois depending on your political affiliation. Canadiens is the name of our once great hockey team in Montreal.
    [/QUOTE]

    Did you ever hear about the girl who had a map of Canada tatooed on her butt, and every time she bent over, Quebec seperated?

    On a, rare for me, serious note, I got to spend a few days in both Montreal and Quebec city a few years ago. Both are very beautiful cities, both very different, and both filled with nice friendly people. We even got to go to a pre-season hockey game between the Canadiens and St. Louis, I think. We didn't have a clue what was going on, but after about 6 Molsons and two or three fights between the teams, it didn't matter. We had a great time. Cheers

    Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.

  12. #12
    Member Member The Bear's Avatar
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    HI,Hi,Hi i'm storing that joke somewhere, for future use. Thanks

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