I have an indirect way of handling Milan. They will go for Dijon first and then Ajaccio. They wont attack Dijon if someone else gets there first, but Ajaccio is like a magnet for the Milanese (and some other factions, notably the Sicilians) regardless of who holds it. So I take Ajaccio and gift it to the pope.
Sooner or later the Milanese will attack, and I (having boosted relations due to my generous gift) can call for a crusade on Milan:D
EDIT: Btw, I've modded the siege equipment factories so that max one piece of siege machinery can be available at a time. This seems to somewhat limit the AI:s recruitment of Ballistae and Catapults without making the buildings useless.
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