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Thread: Flanders fields

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  1. #1
    Formerly: SwedishFish Member KarlXII's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
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    San Diego, California, United States. Malmö/Gothenburg, Sweden. Cities of my ancestors and my favorite places to go!
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    Default Re: Flanders fields

    I really don't know what to write next.

    I also haven't updated in a while because I don't know if anyone is still interested. Wat do you like about this story? What do I need to improve? What do you want to see?
    HOW ABOUT 'DEM VIKINGS
    -Martok

  2. #2
    Research Shinobi Senior Member Tamur's Avatar
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    Aug 2004
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    Default Re: Flanders fields

    The action is very good. I like the realism and the attention you've put into drawing the two main characters.

    If I had the chance to ask for something with this story, it would be 1) the addition of a third character significantly different from Haus and Baummer to create variety and different situations, 2) specifically non-combat situations in which characters, background, and motivation can come out more, and 3) some large view of what conflict these men are in, their part in in, where they are moving, osv -- I have a good idea of what's going on in their little area, and certainly that is all the average trench soldier would have known. But as a reader, I want to hear of something that will drive the story forward.

    Hopefully some of that makes sense...?
    "Die Wahrheit ruht in Gott / Uns bleibt das Forschen." Johann von Müller

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