Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

  1. #1
    Dyslexic agnostic insomniac Senior Member Goofball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Victoria, British Columbia
    Posts
    4,211

    Default The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    The Ant & the Grasshopper......


    CLASSIC VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, sohe dies out in the cold.

    THE END


    THE CANADIAN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

    T
    he shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

    The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
    with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

    Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

    The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

    Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten
    rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

    In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity
    and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire
    grasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
    retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
    ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head a
    commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames
    it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

    THE END
    "What, have Canadians run out of guns to steal from other Canadians and now need to piss all over our glee?"

    - TSM

  2. #2
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,407

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by Goofball
    drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
    If you're referring to the GST reduction coming into effect on January 1st, I thought that was a pretty smooth move by the government, personally. Let everyone get their Christmas Day and Boxing Day shopping done, reap a windfall, and then cut the tax to get more of the voters.

    That's brilliant, with no sarcasm whatsoever.
    Last edited by Evil_Maniac From Mars; 02-29-2008 at 00:37.

  3. #3
    Dyslexic agnostic insomniac Senior Member Goofball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Victoria, British Columbia
    Posts
    4,211

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
    If you're referring to the GST reduction coming into effect on January 1st, I thought that was a pretty smooth move by the government, personally. Let everyone get their Christmas Day and Boxing Day shopping done, reap a windfall, and then cut the tax to get more of the voters.

    That's brilliant, with no sarcasm whatsoever.
    That's not what it was referring to.
    "What, have Canadians run out of guns to steal from other Canadians and now need to piss all over our glee?"

    - TSM

  4. #4
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,407

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by Goofball
    That's not what it was referring to.
    I was talking about the "beginning of summer" part, not the actual bill.

  5. #5
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    10,415

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    India version:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.


    Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.


    NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.


    The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
    Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
    Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.


    Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.


    The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).


    Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.


    CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.


    Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

    Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

    Arjun Singh makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

    The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

    Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
    Lalu calls it ' Socialistic Justice '.
    CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '
    Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

    Many years later...
    The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .

    100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India...

    As a result of loosing a lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country


    used with permission from Deobrat Singh
    Last edited by KukriKhan; 02-29-2008 at 02:18.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  6. #6
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Iowa, USA.
    Posts
    7,065
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

    During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

    Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)
    Last edited by seireikhaan; 02-29-2008 at 01:56.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  7. #7
    Kanto Kanrei Member Marshal Murat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Eye of the Hurricane (FL)
    Posts
    3,372

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Octosquid propoganda!
    "Nietzsche is dead" - God

    "I agree, although I support China I support anyone discovering things for Science and humanity." - lenin96

    Re: Pursuit of happiness
    Have you just been dumped?

    I ask because it's usually something like that which causes outbursts like this, needless to say I dissagree completely.

  8. #8
    Friend of Lady Luck Member Mooks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,290

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikhaan
    The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

    During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

    Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)

    "Do you see where im getting to Lela? Your so dumb sometimes"

    And damn those pothead spiders, eating all the other bugs while they have the munchies!
    Quote Originally Posted by Furunculus View Post
    i love the idea that angsty-teens can get so spazzed out by computer games that they try to rage-rape themselves with a remote.

  9. #9
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    In ur nun, causing a bloody schism!
    Posts
    7,906

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Brilliant! I'd rep you if I could.


    Reinvent the British and you get a global finance center, edible food and better service. Reinvent the French and you may just get more Germans.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
    How do you motivate your employees? Waterboarding, of course.
    Ik hou van ferme grieten en dikke pinten
    Down with dried flowers!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



  10. #10
    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Northville, Michigan
    Posts
    4,259

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikhaan
    The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

    During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

    Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)
    I was thinking of that too at the beginning.


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    THE CANADIAN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

    The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

    The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

    Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poorgrasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

    The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

    Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gottenrich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

    In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposedretroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of theant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head acommission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blamesit on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

    THE END


    That gave me a good laugh and depressed me a bit too at the same time.



  11. #11
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Vote:Sasaki
    Posts
    12,882

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Quote Originally Posted by Goofball
    The Ant & the Grasshopper......


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    CLASSIC VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, sohe dies out in the cold.

    THE END


    THE CANADIAN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

    T
    he shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

    The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
    with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

    Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

    The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

    Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten
    rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

    In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity
    and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire
    grasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
    retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
    ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head a
    commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames
    it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

    THE END
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    No ants or grasshoppers were harmed in the making of this story.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  12. #12
    Member Member Oleander Ardens's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,007

    Default Re: The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

    Honestly I find the ant/grasshopper rather disgusting for certain parts of India. Reminds me perhaps a little too much of the crippled children starving by the road and begging for money.
    "Silent enim leges inter arma - For among arms, the laws fall mute"
    Cicero, Pro Milone

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO