Of course, any recruitment that's needed.
Of course, any recruitment that's needed.
V&V RIP Helmut Becker, Duke of Bavaria.
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Kermit's made a TWS2 guide? Oh, the other frog....
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Friedrich von Eisler:
"What new folly is this? The Margrave is owner of his own land. He decides who gets to enter it, and all he has done is to deny this dreg to befoul the earth of Brandenburg-Bohemia. The only violence that has been threatened is if he would ignore this and still break through the Margrave's land. In other words, he only let Jens know that this decision would be enforced. With the track record Jens carries, that seemed like an axiomatic necessity."
Friedrich turns to the Kaiser.
"Now, the fact that Jens Herden doesn't respect other people's property is well known, but as Kaiser, you have to. On the Margrave's behalf, I apologize for any trouble this causes you, Kaiser, but the Margrave simply cannot trust this rat to enter his lands with an armed force behind him. If you think you can trust him that way, so be it, but if you ask me he is as likely to join the Polish besiegers as he is of attacking them."
Last edited by The Celtic Viking; 06-10-2011 at 07:38.
Ernst of Melk
I cannot believe that the Margrave would endanger the Kaiser's life and the sanctity of our capital by denying him the Reichsmarschall's aid simply to continue a long-running personal feud with Count Herden.
Surely he must reconsider this madness.
Last edited by phonicsmonkey; 06-10-2011 at 11:00.
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Friedrich von Eisler:
"The Margrave is not denying anyone aid; he is simply denying Jens Herden passage through his lands. He is a liar, has a criminal record and has from day one been nothing but hostile towards the Margrave. How could the Margrave possibly trust him at all, let alone enough to let him pass through Bohemia at the head of armed men? Come on, be serious for once."
The Margrave's only reasonable complaint against Herden can surely be that he was once rude to him under provocation.
The rest is pure delusion. If the Kaiser is slain by the Poles it will be on your master's head.
Last edited by phonicsmonkey; 06-10-2011 at 11:00.
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Friedrich waves Ernst off.
"If you wish to put on the jester's suit, be my guest, but everyone will think of you a fool. I will waste no more time on cretins like you."
Ernst rolls his eyes.
Yes, I am sure that it is I who appears foolish in this exchange.
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Kaiser Heinrich:
*The Kaiser has been silent through this last set of exchanges, trying his very hardest to ignore what is going on. The closest to him can hear him muttering, something along the lines of "death take me quickly so that I may finally receive some peace from this bickering."*
Can the two of you not come to an agreement once? Just once? You know, besides the fact that you hate each other? This petty squabbling has long since passed the point of annoyance.
Herden, stop trying to get the Margrave's position diminished. He isn't going anywhere, and you're going to have to accept that. Margrave, yes, you have every right to deny Herden the right to marching through your lands and there's nothing I can do about it. However, this stance is also quite tiresome and potentially dangerous.
What I need the both of you to realize is two things: Well, three actually, but surely you must know by now that I approve of this continuous arguing almost as much as I do the current stance of the College of Cardinals. One, that your opposite number as well as yourself has the Reich's best interests at heart. Shocking, yes, I know, but it's true. Two, that if this Reich is ever to reclaim its former prosperity under the great Emperors of old, then we need to be running at full efficiency. And this means not trying to get each other stripped of their titles or banning people from marching through their lands to assist their Kaiser!!!
Any man who is not a complete and utter fool should know that a man of the Reich forcibly taking another man of the Reich's lands is paramount to another civil war starting. And every man here should know my policy towards civil wars while I am still alive: that I will abandon everything I am doing, personally take the instigator's head, and donate his former lands to the pigs of Frankfurt for the rest of eternity. This I pledge here and now. Do we all have an understanding, at the very least?
Now, I have one application for the Duke of Bavaria. And unless there are no objections, I will begin the transfer of property and rule on the Papal issue at the beginning of next campaign season. Unless, of course, the Margrave and the Reichsmarschall see fit to continue to distract us all with their interminable pissing contest.
"I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
"Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
"I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006
He certainly does have the right to prevent me from entering his lands as the count of Budapest, but surely the Reichsmarshall has the right to travel wherever needed in order to secure the defense of the Reich. I will relent on my insistence that he be stripped of his title, but I will not allow him to put the entire Reich at risk. I fully intend to march along the roads strait to Frankfurt, and if the Margrave sees fit to attack the army of the reich, then its on his head.
With that, the Reichsmarshall turns to leave.
Moderator of The Throne Room
“Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge." ― Mark Twain
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." ― Oscar Wilde
“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” ― Groucho Marx
Friedrich von Eisler:
"Kaiser, you have said time and again how much you wish to avoid another civil war. Well, if Jens Herden does what he has just said he will do, then there will be one. This is not in the interest of anyone - except apparently Jens Herden himself - so I urge you to take whatever measure you find necessary to stop him."
Friedrich now turns to Ersnt of Melk:
"We have had our differences, but so far all of them have stayed and been settled with words. Your excuses for Herden's crimes so far has among others been that 'there's no victim', well, with the crime he has now revealed to the Diet he intends to commit there certainly is one. What is the Prinz's response to this? Will he keep protecting this megalomaniac in his drive to instigate another civil war, or will you condemn his behaviour and reel him in before it is too late?"
Friedrich now turns to the rest of the assembly.
"I think Herden has gone too far now. He has regularly flaunted the law and is now about to start a civil war because of it. I think this is more than necessary, so I move that Jens Herden should be impeached from the position of Reichmarschall and banned from holding any office on the level of the Empire. Vote with your conscience as honourable Germans."
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Excuse me, but how exactly is taking the most direct route to protect our capitol in my interests only. This absurd demand you have made does absolutely nothing but threaten the safety of the Reich.
I am taking no action more hostile than marching along one of the Reich's roads. If a civil war starts it can only be on account of the Margrave. Please my Kaiser, I may have spoken to him impolitely in the past, but since then the Margrave has carried a pointless vendetta against me. I am attempting to do nothing but fulfill my mission of protecting the Reich, while I do not even know what he seeks to accomplish aside from hounding my every step.
Last edited by Nightbringer; 06-11-2011 at 21:47.
Moderator of The Throne Room
“Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge." ― Mark Twain
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." ― Oscar Wilde
“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” ― Groucho Marx
Friedrich von Eisler:
"Those roads belong to the Margrave, and as the Kaiser has already acknowledged, the Margrave alone decides who may and may not use them. He has informed you beforehand that you may not use those roads, and if you do, that shall be seen as an act of aggression, and he will respond in kind. You cannot squirm your way out of this one, worm."
Ernst von Melk
The Reichsmarschall proceeds to answer the Kaiser's call for assistance and will travel by the shortest route.
If the Margrave is stupid enough to initiate a civil war in response then he will pay in kind for his idiocy.
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"Is it possible to be disappointed, even when things go exactly as you expected? Not only does the Osterreich continually shelter and defend criminals, now they do so for a traitor as well. A traitor who, may I add, lied to my messenger when he promised he would not enter my lands. This was just before he tried to have the Margrave stripped of his titles because of his insistance on ruling his own lands, so one can only draw the conclusion that he had intended to take that route no matter what. If he couldn't do it by 'turning off the law', so to say, he would outright break it, even if he knew this would mean civil war.
You would have to search far and wide to find a more loathsome creature. I doubt even that you could. That the 'Prinz' let this happen, and even encourage it, is beyond disgraceful, it's an outright outrage. Does he care nothing about the Empire at all? Does he not even care about the Kaiser's will? For God's sake, is there anything Herden could do, anything at all, save perhaps attack the 'Prinz' himself, that this 'Prinz' would not allow and defend?"
Friedrich sighs.
"But as I said, I'm not surprised. I've known for long that this 'Prinz' is as corrupt as he is incompetent. Still, I await the Kaiser's answer."
Out of respect to your captain, I refrained from crossing into your territory until I had brought this to the attention of the Kaiser. The matter stands, the only traitor here is the one to attacks fellow men of the Reich.
You may accuse the Prinz of supporting me beyond reason, but I swear it appears as though you in turn wish to assist the Poles and Hungarians. Every action you have taken against me has been to their betterment and the Reich's determent. I refuse to respect your absurd demands anymore and will do as is required to protect the Reich.
Moderator of The Throne Room
“Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge." ― Mark Twain
"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." ― Oscar Wilde
“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” ― Groucho Marx
As Herden speaks, it's obvious that Friedrich isn't even listening, as he's talking to the men around him.
Ernst sighs.
The Margrave inhabits a fantasy landscape populated by traitors and criminals who would seek his ruin.
Meanwhile in the real world his paranoia causes him to alienate his peers and create adversaries of men who would be his allies.
Were he not so offensive in his rantings one might feel sympathy towards him...
frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!
Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.
Kaiser Heinrich:
Good Electors, I apologize for the foul smell you may have noticed emanating from the city in recent days. Our burial teams are still working to dispose of the large amount of Polish corpses present after the most recent battle. Incidentally, I was wondering what to do with them all, when I finally decided on altering the landscape outside of the city a bit. You'll be happy to know that within the next week or two the Poles will all be buried in a mass grave under a new hill to the east of the city, in order to signify to any future invaders from that direction what their fate will be so long as the Kaiser mans the walls.
"I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
"Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
"I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006
The Prinz, recently arrived from his victory at Milan.
Mein Kaiser I salute you on your victory over the Polish scum! I fear a mass grave too good for them - should we not instead burn their fetid corpses such that they are condemned to purgatory for ever more, unable to rise to receive the Good Lord's judgement on the allotted day?
Still, should you proceed with your plan it will at least provide a good vantage point for nobles of the Reich to gaze upon the great city our capital and micturate upon the remains of our enemies.
Speaking of which, with the Venetians cast out of their nest of sin at Milan and their armies scattered to the four winds I see a great opportunity to advance upon their own capital and subjugate it to our rule.
Do I have the Kaiser's and the Diet's blessing to defy the Pope and seize Venice for the Reich? Opportunities like this do not often present themselves and if we delay we risk allowing them time to regroup and put their ill-gotten coin to the evil work of recruiting new forces to send against us.
The fledgling Duchy of Bavaria would gain greatly from the removal of the Italian foe once and for all..
frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!
Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.
Kaiser Heinrich:
As I have mentioned previously, Leopold, I will rule on this issue once the new campaign season begins. Now that I am no longer pinned down in Frankfurt I will be able to glean a better picture of things than before.
"I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
"Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
"I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006
Mein Kaiser, I would ask you to grant the castle of Stettin to the control of Brandenburg-Bohemia, as it is in a vital position for securing the future of my Margravate, and by extention your north-eastern border, against the wretched Poles.
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