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Thread: Imperial Diet & Rules

  1. #61
    Involuntary Gaesatae Member The Celtic Viking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    "Yes, indeed this is a tragedy. I hope he did not act rashly because of the recent conflict regarding the princess; that would make this a loss that this Diet could've but failed to prevent. I shall pray for his place in heaven."

    Theodericus turns to the Kaiser.

    "My lord, I have neither an army nor the finances to create one, and had it not been for the Prinz's wise decision to get peace with the Danes, I would soon have been almost entirely surrounded by enemies. With Hummel and Antwerp having fallen now, the question I would ask is: what are you going to do now? If you go to reclaim Antwerp from the wretched French, I will be left in a rather perilous situation with no one able to save me from the Poles. There is the Duke Vaclav, of course, but he has been ignoring Brandenburg for so long I have sincere doubts he would start listening if it was attacked; besides, even if he should suddenly start caring, he could not respond with any force worth mentioning anyway.

    I plead to you, then, that, seeing as Hummel has died, that the money that would be going to him for the sale of Hamburg, let it go to me so that I can lay the foundations of a northern army to help protect the Reich's northern provinces, and perhaps even help expand them. If nothing else, it should take a load off your shoulders, knowing you have one less front to worry about."
    Last edited by The Celtic Viking; 02-04-2011 at 11:54.

  2. #62
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Wilhelm bows his head at the grave news of Hummel's death, then suddenly starts as if realizing he forgot something. He then makes a mad dash for the exit, nearly knocking over a couple minor noblemen and servants on his way.
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  3. #63
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    *taking his face out of his hands, which has been buried there since the report of Hummel's death came back*

    Turning back from Antwerp now would be foolish. Doing so would be to have wasted two seasons' worth of marching and mercenary pay for nothing, especially when I fully intend to take the city back at some point anyway. However, I will see to your request that the funds from Hamburg be re-transferred over to you.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
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  4. #64
    Involuntary Gaesatae Member The Celtic Viking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Theodericus bows his head to the Kaiser.

    "Thank you, my lord. You are as generous as you are wise."

  5. #65
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Duke Beckers steps into the room, his aide in tow. Although his clothes are slightly scruffy from his time on campaign and the long ride to the site of the Diet, they don't come remotely close to the state of disrepair of Wilhelm's, which have now suffered too long trips with no break.

    "Greetings,
    I have just recently come to a grave realisation. I have been in flagrant disregard of our charter. While I have made many an oath to the service of my Empire and its liege, I have yet to make the formal one required in this chamber. I correct that now.

    Helmut kneels in the direction of the Emperor or, lacking that, his section of the chamber.

    "I hereby swear that, during my time as an Elector, I will serve the Reich faithfully and the Kaiser loyally. I recognize that the Kaiser is the sovereign of the Reich and, while I may disagree with him politically, I will not question his supremacy."

    That done, the young duke bows in the direction of the section of the Flemish Duchy, now being dismantled.

    I also wish to pay my respects for my fellow Duke Andreas Hummel, and express my regret that we were not able to speak about the issue of my marriage that vexed him so. And now, if I may be excused, I must get back to my forces so I can execute the "kill everything" part of the Emperor's 2 step plan. In my particular case the everything will be any Venetians that seek to prevent me from returning Innsbruck to the Reich, or are just too slow to get out of my way.

    With that, Becker turns to leave.
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  6. #66
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Greetings Becker! Its good to see you again. Sorry I couldn't accompany you in your "kill everything" mission, but my Lord has need of me. It does sound like a good way to pass the time though, may your sword find the neck of many a Venetian!
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  7. #67
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Thank you, Herden. I must admit after allowing those grubby merchants to get the drop on me the last time I'm looking forward to paying them back.
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  8. #68
    The Count of Bohemia Senior Member Cecil XIX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    A page nervously comes up to the Diet Speaker and whispers into his ear. The Speaker pales slightly before addressing the assembly.

    My lords, I have just been informed that a large Polish army has been spotting just to the east of Frankfurt.



    They have already reached the river passing, thus we can only assume that their target is this city. Let us pray for deliverance, lest the proceedings of this august body be disrupted.

  9. #69
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Becker enters the Diet Hall.

    Gentlemen,
    Innsbruck has fallen, although at heavy cost. I've left a garrison their and camped with the bulk of my army northeast of the castle, as I believe my chances better in the field against any army that takes it rather than trapped within it's meagre walls.

    I might be able to turn towards Frankfurt within a pair of seasons if need be, but my forces are nowhere near adequate to destroy that Polish army.
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  10. #70
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    A messenger arrives with a scroll bearing the seal of Prinz Leopold. Ernst of Melk rises to read it to the gathered nobles.

    Nobles of the Reich,

    I fear for the safety of Frankfurt and wish to do all I can to defend it. However, the reality is that my army, currently in the field under Sir Jens Herden, is at least four and perhaps five seasons march from the capital and will arrive too late to prevent it falling into Polish hands, if indeed that is the intention of that army.

    As for myself I have this season defeated the Hungarian Prince in a duel south of Wien and sent him fleeing back to Budapest. I'm of a mind to send Herden there to capture the city forthwith and while it is seemingly undefended.

    As for Frankfurt, I note that the Polish army is comprised of ten divisions excluding its commander. Frankfurt is garrisoned by four, Premyslid has three within two seasons' march and can be reinforced by Der Bartige and perhaps even the Kaiser at a push. There are also mercenaries for hire which I will of course authorise in my capacity as Marshal.

    Indeed, I will even pay for these from my own pocket should any man step up to the task of defending the capital.

    What say you nobles of the Reich? Who shall defend our capital? Or should I divert young Herden, while you allow the city to fall and let me recapture it once the Poles have had their way with its women and the Kaiser's treasury and in doing so pass up the opportunity to add the Hungarian capital to our great empire?

    Ernst looks around the chamber for a response from the gathered nobles.
    Last edited by phonicsmonkey; 02-15-2011 at 08:19.
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  11. #71
    The Search for Beefy Member TheFlax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    A messenger arrives with a scroll bearing the seal of Duke Vaclav.

    My Lords,

    The Duke of Bohemia has seen the threat to the Imperial Capital and has ridden out of Prague with his host to confront the Poles. He expects to catch up to them as they reach Frankfurt. He tells me to assure you that he expects to defeat these interlopers quickly and as such you need not worry overly about this threat.

    Humbly yours,
    Friedhold Rochus,
    Chamberlain of Prague
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  12. #72
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    Admirable sentiments. This way I can continue to pressure the French at Antwerp. Although I do hope that you're right, Premyslid, for I'd much rather put off Antwerp and successfully defend Frankfurt than capture Antwerp but lose my second capital and have another dead Elector on my hands.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
    Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  13. #73
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    One of Becker's advisors can be seen whispering to him. Only the Duke's replies can be heard

    "Yes...yes. Hmmm...I suppose you're right."

    Becker stands.

    "I offer my arms and services to combine with noble Vaclav's in the defense of our capital. I can make it within two seasons. Hopefully the Poles can be crushed before the Venetians stage a counterattack at Innsbruck, but even if not our capital is the greater priority.

    "
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  14. #74
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Ernst of Melk rises.

    The Duke of Bohemia is fearless in the face of the Polish threat! He has the gratitude of the Prinz, who urges him to accept his offer of mercenaries to expand his force before contact with the enemy is made.
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  15. #75
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Jens Herder stands.

    Then it seems I shall set out for Budapest. These Hungarians have fought against us for far too long. I shall trap their Prince in the city and make him beg for his life. I wonder, if he is captured, should he be slain immediately, or offered up for ransom to the Hungarian King? In any case, I am off, give Duke Vaclav my wishes of good luck against the Poles. To the rest of you, when next we meet, I shall have a Hungarian crown to display.
    Jens confidently marches out of the room. Just after he leaves, a old man enters and takes Herder's seat. He look around cautiously, clearly somewhat intimidated by his surroundings, before speaking.

    I am Max, servant to Sir Herder. I shall be handling his affairs in the court while he is away on campaign.
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  16. #76
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    Ransom please, the florins would do everybody good.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
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    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  17. #77
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Ernst of Melk.

    I am certain the Prinz would agree with the Kaiser. Given the ease with which he bested the Magyar Prince and sent him scuttling back to his mother on the Danube, I am sure he would be confident of being able to repeat the feat later once we have squeezed him for some gold.
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  18. #78
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    I will make sure my lord gets the message that the Prince is to be captured and ransomed at all costs. Although I dare say he will steal the crown, he seems to have some sort of fascination with it.
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  19. #79
    The Count of Bohemia Senior Member Cecil XIX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    The Diet floor is much emptier than usual. Nevertheless the Diet Speaker remains to perform his duty for those who remain.

    My lords, we are under siege. Now that the enemy army has arrived and is within view of the walls we have been able to ascertain it's composition with greater certainty.


    The garrison at Innsbruck has also managed to make a brief report, though with much less certainty. All we know is that the Milanese army is not led by a member of the ruling Rossi dynasty. It is composed of nine regiments, including one of Mercenary Spearmen and one of Italian Militia. The have constructed a ram and a set of ladders.

  20. #80
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    So my lords, it seems the Pope has ordered that this war with Hungary come to and end. Shall I inform Lord Herder that he is to retreat from the siege of Budapest?
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  21. #81
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Ernst of Melk rises to address the chamber. Somehow a message from the Prinz has found its way through the circumvallations of the Polish army.

    Good electors, we stand at a crossroads. Rome has challenged us to back down. Should we? I think not! Since when has the Reich been lapdog to that old woman? Our 'fellow catholics' the Poles defile our very doorstep and does he likewise threaten them? His neighbours the Milanese have the gall to make an attempt on Innsbruck and what is his response?

    To tell the Reich to lay down its arms! Well I say let him excommunicate us if he has the nerve!

    For it is better to be forsaken by the Church than slaves to a foreign master, whether he be Polish, Milanese, Hungarian or even Roman..
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  22. #82
    Wandering Metsuke Senior Member Zim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Wilhelm von Staufen, his livery torn and muddied and one arm in a sling, limps into the chamber.

    My lords, I bear terrible news. The Duke has perished in battle. Despite being greatly outnumbered he had succeeded in routing half of the Milanese dogs, but it was not enough. The training of the Italian Militia and the traitor German mercenaries they hired showed true, and he fell attempting to rally his own men, the German mercenary spearmen in Milan's employ mobbing him as he cursed them for their treachery. The Milanese then butchered the prisoners they captured.

    A great man has been taken from the Reich this day.
    Last edited by Zim; 02-20-2011 at 06:28.
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  23. #83
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    I have news from the West, Good Electors! Antwerp is retaken for the glory of the Reich! I am currently considering renaming this town "Hummelburg" in honor of the man who fell and died defending it the city from the French invaders.

    He pauses for a second, waiting for a response, seeing for the first time the near-emptiness of the Diet.

    ...the hell is everybody??!? Seriously, I remember back in the day where I could go in the Diet, announce the capture of a city, and the place would practically throw a party, getting on their hands and knees to praise me and the glory of the Reich! What's going on here? Has the fact that I haven't bathed in over a month really getting to you all that much?

    After this harangue pauses, a Diet page sheepishly hands the Kaiser a note. Heinrich reads it and gets visibly angry.

    Oh God, another one? How does this keep happening? What's the matter with the world today? I'm losing more *$%!ing Dukes than there are trees in the Black Forest! I didn't even know we had this many Dukes to lose!!! Who's left? We have Leopold and... Premyslid, right? Is he still involved in politics? Is he still even alive?! Wait, so he *is* alive, he *is* active, but he might be relieving the siege of Frankfurt against a large Polish army, right? Oh yeah, I like our chances with this one! Let's see, one Duke goes against the odds to defend Antwerp, and he dies. Another Duke goes against the odds to defend Innsbruck, and he dies! So right now... we have a Duke going against the odds to defend Frankfurt? I wonder how this one is gonna turn out! I was being sarcastic, in case you didn't notice, by the way!

    Also, is this the stupidest siege of a city or what? I came in here in my full livery and the Poles just let me right on through! I didn't even need a flag of truce or anything!

    Good Electors, I am passing an Emergency law. This is going into effect immediately, and I don't care if it has Diet approval or not. I am Kaiser, and I am passing this law, Diet be damned. The law is as follows: Stop dying in battle!!! From here on forward, it is illegal for an Elector of the Reich to die in battle against our enemies. The penalty for disobedience of this law will be the knowledge that you are driving your Kaiser one step closer to madness. So stop! I've had enough already!

    As the Kaiser's ranting dies down, the page, an expression of sheer terror on his face, cautiously sidles up over to the Kaiser and hands him another note, looking away and practically running off as soon as the task is completed. This is probably for the best as the Kaiser's complexion turns positively volcanic upon reading the note.

    Papal... Papal what??!?! That false friar Hildebrand will do what to me if we don't cease hostilities with Hungary immediately? Of all the miserable, rotten, lousy -

    *Note: The Diet Secretary records that at this point, Kaiser Heinrich's next portion of speech lapses into the domain of the unprintable, as it would surely serve to corrupt any and all souls who would read it. The record picks up again a full fifteen minutes later.*

    God, how I hate him! I curse him and his followers for all eternity! His name will be anathema for the rest of eternity by the time I am done with him! And the worst part is, I can't even do anything about it at the moment! I cannot even think about lead an attack on Rome to make the *#%! pay personally, because all of my Dukes are dropping like flies and we're getting invaded by about twenty different countries! And no, we can't ignore this Papal demand, because that snake Hildebrand has so helpfully placed an inquisitor only a few miles from the bulk of my army. If we ignore this order and I get excommunicated, then that will be all the motivation that black-capped *Diet Secretary: More unprintables* needs to haul me off and try me for heresy! Oh yes, Good Electors, I will die in Rome as I have always planned to, but it will still be in Papal possession and I will not die as right like a king, but most likely I will be burned to a crisp and my ashes scattered to the four winds.

    No, Good Electors, as much as I hate to say it, we have no choice but to obey... for now.

    Leopold! Herden! Whoever it is that's in command over there! Maintain the siege of Budapest! Do not assault but maintain the siege! I believe that this will still not go beyond the boundaries of what will get us excommunicated - though correct me if I'm wrong, naturally.

    I will kick every single stinking foreigner out of the Reich, restore all of our lost territories, and even stride in to Rome to personally smite that false priest who styles himself the Vicar of Christ myself if I have to.

    Muttering, the Kaiser starts walking out of the Diet, back toward his army.

    God, where's the alcohol when you really need it?
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
    Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  24. #84
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    With his face a mixture of shock and awe at the Emperor's tirade, Max quickly scribbles a note and hands it to the same remarkable messenger who snuck through the enemy lines.
    I have informerde my Lord Herder that he is to continue the siege of Budapest, I'm sure his hopes will rest on the Hungarians foolishly making some attempt to attack and drive him off. I am equally sure that he is as enraged as you are by the pope's decree, and will gladly march at your side to put this dictator in his place, namely, about one head shorter.

    Oh, and congratulations on the capture of Antwerp!
    Max begins to clap but soon stops, apparently dishearten by the sounds of his singular applause's echo.

    edited because my wording ended up meaning something I completely did not mean it to, and was unaware of its usage as such, thankfully this was pointed out to me
    Last edited by Nightbringer; 02-21-2011 at 07:59.
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  25. #85
    The Count of Bohemia Senior Member Cecil XIX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    After waiting a respectful while after the Kaiser, the Diet Speaker steps forward and directs the Diet towards two reports from the Time of Troubles.


    Quote Originally Posted by 1098 View Post
    [The False Friar Hildebrand] ... has issued orders to Milan ... to cease their attacks for seven seasons. [Milan has] complied for now, although Milan is besieging Bern and is "refraining from attacking the Empire" in such a way as to starve the beleagured Swiss.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1099 View Post
    This last act of defiance has caught the eye of the Pope, none too pleased at the Duke of Milan's attempted legal wrangling. He has excommunicated Duke Bernardo, and the entire Duchy of Milan. For his part the Duke shows no signs of backing down, and has continued the Siege of Bern.

  26. #86
    Illuminated Moderator Pogo Panic Champion, Graveyard Champion, Missle Attack Champion, Ninja Kid Champion, Pop-Up Killer Champion, Ratman Ralph Champion GeneralHankerchief's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    I'll kill him. I'll kill him myself with my bare hands. I will personally march south, through Germany, the Alps, and half of Italy, hacking my way through anyone foolish enough to get in my way, and then I will personally dismantle the walls of Rome, stone by stone if I have to, and stride right through the city straight for that foul boggart's office, and I will drag him by the hair to the very gates of Hell, and then I will order those gates to open, throw him in by the hair, and make my way back to Germany. This will not stand.

    *sigh* Break off the siege. If we get excommunicated, I want us to earn it.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
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    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  27. #87
    Mmmm, Antares is tasty! Senior Member Alien Attack Champion Nightbringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Yes noble Kaiser, but I suspect Herder will be none too pleased, shall he be directed against some more immediate threat Kaiser, Prinz Leopold?
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  28. #88
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Kaiser Heinrich:

    I don't know, just kill something that won't get us in deeper *#%! than a pigsty in April. Milan's still excommunicated, maybe help out with the reconquest there. Something. Anything. I'll leave the specifics up to your Duke.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
    Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  29. #89
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Ernst of Melk rises, looking none too pleased.

    Indeed sire, we will redirect our energies towards the chastisement of the Italians.
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  30. #90
    The Count of Bohemia Senior Member Cecil XIX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Imperial Diet & Rules

    Nuremburg 1116 AD

    Looking strangely no more worse for wear, the Diet Speaker addresses those assembled.

    My lords, welcome to Nuremburg. With the fall of Frankfurt, the functions of the capital have defaulted here in the immediate Chaos, and will remain here until the Kaiser deems otherwise.

    The Speaker is approached by a page, who whispers into his ear for some time before departing.

    It seems there is news from Bohemia as well. Apparently Count Theodericus der Bartige took advantage of the late Duke Vaclav's frequent hunting trips to gain a great deal of influence with Bohemia's nobility, and has been doing so since the Time of Troubles. As a result he has already been declared Vaclav's legitimate successor and crowned the new Duke of Bohemia. Even now the remnants of Duke Vaclav's army have retreated to Magdeburg and are now under his command.

    God save the Reich!

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