As soon as the mayor finished his short speech, the crowd erupted with angry shouts. “Why bother with this ridiculous formality, we all know who it is!” someone shouted. “He killed Seamus!” a woman cried. “And a lot of other people too!” cried someone else.
Xiahou looked around him, suddenly realizing they were all glaring at him. Unnerved, he tried to make a break for it, but only made it about two steps before being tacked from behind by a large man. A moment later, the rest of the villagers had gathered around him and began shouting abuse. Some kicked him, while others spit on him. No one bothered to defend the doomed man.
“Stop!” hollered the mayor into the microphone. The mob stopped hitting Xiahou and gave him their attention.
“Yes, it’s clear enough that Xiahou is guilty,” the mayor said. “Seamus Fermanagh managed to communicate that information to me before his tragic death. But I will not allow a repeat of the first night, when in a fit of madness you lynched this town’s other detective, Kagemusha.”
The crowd was sobered by this new knowledge. They wondered how many other innocent people they had put to death in their desperation to protect themselves.
“Bring him forward,” the mayor instructed. Several townspeople roughly hauled Xiahou to his feet and began dragging him towards the front. He was somewhat bruised and bloodied, but his eyes were still defiant.
“You idiots,” he hissed, spitting out blood. “You have no idea what you are doing.”
“Shut up!” grunted one of his captors, striking him across the face. With that they completed dragging Xiahou to the mayor, where they left him in the care of the town’s police force.
Xiahou looked the mayor in the eye and glared contemptuously. “You call me guilty,” he said, “but the real criminal here is you! You’re an accomplice to the worst crime ever perpetrated on the human race!” Breaking into a maniacal laugh, he turned to the crowd. “Why don’t you tell them?” he cried. “You know what this is really about – you knew ever since you found Destroyer of Hope’s crossbow bolt; in fact, you knew well before that! Tell them who you really are, ‘Mr. Mayor’ – or should I say, Agent R!”
The mayor raised his eyebrows skeptically. “I truly have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, a barely-noticeable hint of nervousness in his voice.
Xiahou let out a huge sigh, shaking his head. “Well then, fine; if you’re going to insist on keeping up this façade, I’ll expose your conspiracy right here,” he said. “People of Ogunquit!” he shouted to the crowd, “your so-called mayor is a fraud! He works for the CIA, and is an accomplice in the greatest hoodwink of all time – a government plot to obscure and deny humanity’s true place in the cosmos!”
The people were already beginning to look skeptical, but Xiahou was not paying attention to their reaction.
“The salvation of the human race depends on our ability to contact an advanced race of extraterrestrials, dubbed ‘Species Alpha 4329’ by your government,” Xiahou continued. “That ability has been available for decades, yet your public leaders have suppressed this knowledge. They know that as soon as contact is made, the current world order will crumble and a new one will emerge – one in which their power no longer exists!”
Now the people were beginning to snicker, and a few broke into hysterical laughter. They knew the Cosa Nuova were dangerous, but who could have imagined they were this deluded?
“Listen to me!” shouted Xiahou, trying desperately to get his point across. “Sasaki Kojiro led a small group of us here to Ogunquit to obtain the alien device needed to contact the species. It’s been hidden here for years. The deaths we caused were regrettable, but necessary to force your so-called mayor to tip his hand. We knew we’d never be able to pinpoint its exact location unless we forced the government to move it again, or barring that, to seize control of the entire town. This CIA agent posing as your mayor is the man truly responsible for all your recent losses!”
“…and, I think we’ve heard just about enough,” said the mayor, biting his lip to stifle a chuckle. “Xiahou, you are criminally insane and murderous beyond reckoning. You should have been placed in an asylum long ago, but because of the deaths you have caused, you will now be put to death.” Turning to his remaining doctor, Silver Rusher, he said, “Bring me the syringe.”
“That’s too good for him!” someone in the crowd hollered. There were cries of affirmation to this. “Throw him off a cliff!” someone else shouted.
The mayor shrugged. He was not a bloodthirsty or vengeful man, but he did particularly miss his friend Big King Sanctaphrax, the town’s other physician. “So be it!” he said. The police officers immediately seized Xiahou, and the entire group rushed to the top of one of the town’s many granite cliffs. The ocean did not quite reach the bottom of this one; instead, many sharp rocks protruded upward from the sandy floor.
Xiahou turned to the crowd one last time, a look of cynical contempt in his eyes. “Very well then, you fools,” he spat. “You are the ones who will have to live with the putrid future you create. I suppose I should consider myself fortunate to be leaving now.” With that, he turned and hurled himself from the edge.
Moments later, everyone heard the sickening crunch of flesh and bone striking against rock. The mayor looked over the edge, quietly observing Xiahou’s broken, mangled corpse lying at the base of the cliff.
“Well, everyone,” he said, turning back to the crowd, “it looks like the nightmare is over. Let’s go home. We have a lot of rebuilding to do, and it will be a long time before this town is the ever the same again.”
…
Late that night, the “mayor” of Ogunquit waited alone deep in the secret catacombs beneath City Hall. A tall, dark-haired woman walked in, dressed in a pitch-black suit. “How do you do, Agent R?” she said.
The mayor rose to greet her. “Agent W, I presume,” he said, extending his hand for a shake. “Honestly I’ve been better, but all things considered, the situation has been handled. The crisis is over.”
“For the time being, yes,” responded Agent W. “Yet we’ve only bought a temporary respite. The Cosa Nuova know it’s here, and we’ve only put them off-balance for a short time. They’ll return. The device cannot stay here; we need to take this opportunity to move it.”
Agent R nodded. “I know,” he said. “To tell you the truth I’m glad it’ll be in someone else’s hands now. I take it a new location has been prepared?”
“Yes, it’s all taken care of,” said the woman. “The truck is already waiting outside, and our agents are standing by to load it.” She indicated a steel blast door in the catacomb wall. “Shall we?” she asked.
Agent R nodded, and together they walked to the door. He swiped a security card, entered a code into a keypad, and underwent a retinal scan. With that, the door opened, and the two agents stepped beyond it into a large cavern with a high ceiling.
In the center of the cavern, a large device was resting, encased in a network of titanium bands. It looked vaguely like a torus-shaped crystal, about twelve feet in diameter and three feet thick. It glowed with an unearthly blue light.
The two agents gazed at it for a moment. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” mused Agent R. “Indeed,” replied Agent W. “Hard to believe such a thing has the capacity to wreak such terrible destruction.”
“I suppose it will have to be protected for a long time to come,” shrugged Agent R. “As long as deluded groups like the Cosa Nuova exist, we’ll have to stay vigilant. They’ll never understand the true purpose of this device, or the real nature of Species 4329.”
“Good luck convincing them of that!” said the woman with a chuckle. She shook her head. “If only we could find a way to destroy it.”
“If only, if only…” sighed Agent R. “Well, it’s time.” With that, Agent W pulled out a communicating device and called for the remaining agents. Soon they were hauling the alien device out of the room and through the catacomb tunnels.
In the dead of night, a nondescript truck pulled away from the City Hall and out of the town of Ogunquit. None of the townspeople would ever know of the apocalypse that had been averted.
Votes:
Xiahou: 6 (Byzantine Mercenary, Csar, discovery1, Silver Rusher, doc_bean, Peasant Phill)
doc_bean: 1 (Xiahou)
Not Voting: 2 (Proletariat, Tiberius)
Status List:
Killed:
Big King Sanctaphrax
GeneralHankerchief
AggonyDuck
ByzantineKnight
Divine Wind
Drisos
Crazed Rabbit
Sir Moody
Glaucus
Reenk Roink
Seamus Fermanagh
Executed:
Kagemusha
Sasaki Kojiro
Cowhead418
Sigurd Fafnesbane
Destroyer of Hope
Xiahou
Suicide:
Orb
King Henry V
Dutch_guy
Evil_Maniac From Mars
Leet Eriksson
Zalmoxis
Still Alive:
Byzantine Mercenary
Csar
discovery1
doc_bean
Peasant Phill
Proletariat
Silver Rusher
Tiberius
Result: TOWNSPEOPLE VICTORY
Bookmarks