Court of the Caliph: BC Hotseat Council Thread

[Askthepizzaguy]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The Ayyubid ambassador rises from his legendary chair, red with fury:

What is this ??? War ? War ? More war ?

The Levant did not need to be forced into surrender. Peace was possible...

Foolish... you are all foolish.

May Allah grant us mercy, for we all are unworthy of his magnificence.

The Ayyubids condemn the Roman occupation of the Holy Lands. We ask the Emperor to treat its people with justice and integrity, and protect both Christian AND Muslim Holy Sites.

The Ayyubids also condemn the Coalition of Freedom, for plotting the fall of Jerusalem with Constantinople, and for massing its troops near the Levant's borders.

Is this act of aggression a sign of things to come ? We will retain an amiable relationship with our Turkish, Omani and Seljuk brothers, for they are Muslims and blessed by Allah, but we firmly condemn the rats of Armenia and Georgia. News of the passing of the Takavor will not bring any tears from the Ayyubids. (OOC: it does bring tears but I'm too proud to admit it :) ).

Looking at the Georgians:

If your Jesus knows anything about integrity, honor and justice, he will smite your nation to the ground. Jerusalem and Armenia paid a heavy price for striking their own brothers. Cower in fear, for your Jesus and God will not come to help you, but to blow you into the wind.


Looking at the Assembly:

Ambassadors, we fear the recent events may pick up the interest of the Europeans, and the Pope.

You may have doomed us all...


Our Sultan is still unaware of these events, as he is still campaigning in Africa. Steady your feet, ambassadors, for our Sultan's anger will tremble the very ground upon which you walk.

The Turk looks at the Ayyubid delegate:

Surely you mean when you walk, it will cause the earth beneath our feet to tremble?

I see no reason whatsoever for the Ayyubids to pipe up here... you refused to support the Coalition against Jerusalem aggression, and you have also apparently refused to defend Jerusalem as well. Should you wish to stay neutral, then sit down, and stay neutral.

We thank you for your assistance against Rome, and it is only because of this that we do not take your tacit approval of Jerusalem's aggression as proof of something more sinister, and that we do not consider you to be allied with them. I don't think you will find many delegates here besides yourself in support of Jerusalem, either.

Let any here who wish to defend Jerusalem speak now, or forever hold your peace.

[Ferret]

The Ghorid ambassador rises

The Ferrets will support Jerusalem, though not militarily due to distance but morally, you are not alone in suffering from the aggression of the coalition.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Turkish ambassador nods,

As expected. Although the aggression you speak of is in response to your own. As are all of the actions of all Coalition members.

Now that we have a Ghorid/Ferret ambassador who isn't passed out to speak to, perhaps you would be willing to discuss your own terms of peace?

[Ferret]

I am sorry at the moment the communications with my Sultan are cut due to the GhaZims killing my messengers and though I am confident enough to support Jerusalem I cannot make peace with the infidel without the Sultan's approval.

OOC:wait until the summer though I have a little free time now it is random and the exams are just getting started...

edit:which means I can't play the turns, I could make a peace deal but I'm not sure of the current situation and how happy phonics would be, or even whether I want peace.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Im considering taking another vow of silence because I never, ever seem to shut up.

OOC- Alrighty, well remember that PM is subbing for you, and it doesn't really matter how he wants to approach the situation, it's your faction after all. No offense PM~

Considering that the Rajputs are still standing after some couple Ghorid stacks bit the desert sand, and that the GhaZims are equally victorious in the west against lead Ghorid stacks, perhaps you might want to consider a peace deal.

However, I've been recently reminded that I'm a spokesperson for the Turks only, and you have to make such deals with the Rajputs and the GhaZims, not Turkey. Though I'd be happy to mediate the discussion.

Otherwise, it is the policy of the Turks that the Ghorids be destroyed for their warlike ways, and we're ready to give everything to our Coalition allies to achieve this goal.



Try to keep the alcohol out of the Caliph's chambers will you? The last Turkish ambassador and the one before him both seemed to succumb to the drink... and your own didn't fare too well either.

[Ferret]

OOC:well you better give some more to the GhaZims 'cos last time I checked I was winning on that front, most of his forces were in the West. I would be happy to make peace with them though as they are Muslim, but the Rajputs must be eradicated no matter how many men die.

[Askthepizzaguy]

If the Rajputs are erradicated, so too shall be the Ghorid Ferrets.

And with that, I am now taking a vow of silence... contact me via pm if anyone wants to talk.

[Ferret]

by Allah those Turks are mighty fools, don't you just hate them? I could sit here talking about them all day and not run out of insults, all of them true as well. They seem to think they are the masters of the world and can dictate who lives and who dies, shameful really as they can't even beat an old worn out Empire, and let there closest allies dissappear for personal profit, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if it was a Turkish army that finished off Armenia, I bet that sneaky Sultan of theirs was desperate to get his hands on ex-Armenian lands, and remove the hefty debt he wouldn't stop monaing about.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

too bad you can't reply

seriously though, talking is good, please don't shut up

[Askthepizzaguy]

Oh very well, if you insist.

It gives me great pleasure to hear the insults of the Ghorid Ferrets, because it is the only weapon they have left with which they can strike at their foes. Lo and behold their attempts at conquest of the righteous nations of the world have fallen to dust like so many Ghorid ambassadors have fallen to the drink.

Pious Muslims indeed... hah. Where is it written in the Holy Koran that we must make war upon the infidels? Did you even attempt peaceful conversion of the Hindus? Did you once attempt to offer them dhimmitude and service to the greater Muslim empire? Did you once consult with your Muslim brothers before attempting to wipe innocent people off of the face of this earth?

You feel you are at peace with Allah for your crimes, but that is not reflected on the battlefield. The cursed Ferretate of Ghur has been cast out of heaven and out of Allah's sight, and pray that this remains so, for he will smite you O leader of the Heretic Muslim extremists for your sinister ways.

We however have offered cultural exchange and peace with the Hindus, that the peaceful light of Islam may enlighten them, as their strange ways may also enlighten us. Surely you do not believe that Islam is so weak a religion that if given the choice, free people will choose to remain an infidel? Are you afraid of free exchange of ideas, or competition?

You who would force a PERVERTED version of Islam upon our friends, or slay them all in the process, are the ones who are the infidels who deserve to be destroyed.

So slander us if you must, you slimy, stinking, filthy, rancid, sinful, lecherous, lusty, greedy, despicable liar and betrayer of men! But remember this, you drowned weasel...

The Turk stands up and bellows

YOU WILL NEVER LIVE TO SEE THE DAY THE RAJPUTS ARE DESTROYED!!! BY THE HOLY BEARD OF ALLAH, I WILL CUT YOUR THROAT, INFIDEL!!!

Ululating, the Turkish ambassador draws his sword, and pushes his way through the Ghorid bodyguards who were caught napping, and he grabs the Ghorid Ferret by the throat and raises his sword to smite the infidel...

Just then the Caliph's Ghulam guards hoist the Turk off of the Ferret and disarm him, and drag him out of the chamber by force. Were it not for diplomatic immunity, the Turkish ambassador would surely have been killed then and there.

[Ferret]

The Ghorid ambassador goes red and quickly leaves the chambers, those who see him leave notice a wet patch start to form around his groin.

A ferret clerk sighs in the background, wondering what kind of a nation he belongs to.

[TheFlax]

Looking at the Georgians:

If your Jesus knows anything about integrity, honor and justice, he will smite your nation to the ground. Jerusalem and Armenia paid a heavy price for striking their own brothers. Cower in fear, for your Jesus and God will not come to help you, but to blow you into the wind.

The Georgian envoy seems suprised at these word.

I fear the recent offering of cake has addled the brain of the Ayyubid ambassador. What brothers of ours have we struck? While it is true we fought the Romans in short battle some time ago, we do not see how it is relevant to this attack on Jerusalem. Is this another choice personal attack our kingdom? For someone who is pretending to be neutral, you sure know how to make enemies quickly...

He ends his retort with a glare.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Perhaps the honourable Ayyubid delegate AND his grotesquely large ass need to go on a diet and stop eating so much cake!

The Turk replied as he is finally dragged through the chamber doors.

[rossahh]

Watching the Ghorid and Turk go back forth, the boy waits for his chance. Finally, during a lull, he stands


What of the peace talks? Where do we stand now?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

you said continue as if the war was was still going, so I did

[Askthepizzaguy]

obviously still struggling with the ghulam guards, the Turk pokes his head back into the chamber

I'll need to get back to you on that...

and the Turk is dragged away.

[The Lemongate]

The Roman delegate stands up to address the court:

Rome does not see itself as an aggressor per see in the present conflict. We have not attacked any crusader army and have spared all the settlements we captured from the chaos of open war. If we had had greedy intentions, we would have simply sacked our way through the Levant.

Indeed, Rome is a protector of the Holy Places. And for such a protection to be effective, we need a stable territorial claim on the area surrounding Jerusalem.

In the eyes of the Basileos, this includes the entire coast from Tripoli to Jaffa and extends inland as far as Kerak and Damascus. We strongly doubt that the Crusaders or the other belligerent in this war can pose any significant threat to our claims. We would rather establish this protectorate peacefully, but if the tiny crusader militias currently holding the southern settlements resist, they shall be removed though Rome pledges to give full quarter to those who surrender.

Furthermore, we reiterate our claim on Cilicia. As the only other party who can argue is the Sultanate of Ikonion, we shall deal with them in private on this matter.

We do not seek to speak for any other participant in this unfortunate conflict.

[rossahh]

You are talking about the deaths of hundreds of our soldiers, and the end of our nation in general. Given the Turk's claims in the north, we would be left with only Tartus and Homs. That would be unacceptable to us.

You seem to forget that our armies can march straight back into the lands to the south and cleanse your presence long before you can land reinforcements. Think about that before you demand all you cannot have.

[Askthepizzaguy]

A fourth diplomat arrives from Turkey:

I would tend to agree that the peace plans laid out by the Romans is unacceptable. In order for Jerusalem to even consider the Roman offer, the Turkish Sultanate would have to withdraw all its claims, just to give Jerusalem space to exist.

Turkey would like to propose it's terms, which have been modified since the fall of Armenia, and inform other nations that we claim Cilicia and northern Syria.

-Antioch, Aleppo,
-tribute of 500/turn, 20 turns
-vassalage (10 turns)
-trade rights

This is by no means a final set of terms. Everything here is negotiable.

[rossahh]

We counter offer to both Rome and the Turks, the only ones we are officially at war with:

-Jerusalem, Acre, Tyre, Kerak and Baalbeck to Rome.

-Aleppo and Hama to the Turks.

-Tripoli, Tartus, Antioch, Damascus and Homs to be retained by Jerusalem. In that way we have a continuos border and no provinces isolated.

-That said, Jaffa is to be retained by Jerusalem.


-No border settlements (therefore all of Jerusalem's) shall contain more than 5 units.

-Jaffa shall contain no more than 3 units.

-Jerusalem's standing army in the Levant will be downsized to no more than 30 units (but only 5 per settlement, therefore some must be in forts out of the towns).


-Trade rights to both.

-Vassalage to Rome (ooc: they have a far bigger chunck than you do or will anytime soon).

-Tribute of 500 for 20 turns to the Turks.


-Prince Guy is forfiet (ooc: you'll understand when you see where he is).

[Askthepizzaguy]

I personally think this is reasonable, but:

Would prefer Antioch over the tribute and Hama.

So, I counter-offer same terms, but instead of Hama and 500/20 turns, Antioch.

That said, Rome still has to sign off on the deal, and (turning to the roman ambassador) he and I will discuss Cilicia amongst ourselves.

[rossahh]

The boy looks uneasy


Antioch would be our new Capital and is the only worthy city from which we can rebuild. Also, without Antioch we would forever be easy pickings for anyone who wished to eliminate us as our lands would be terribly open to attack.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Your openness is welcome;

Truth be told, the Turks and their allies will be hard pressed to turn back their forces for two otherwise worthless castles and easily-cancelled tribute. Antioch, on the other hand, would single-handedly help us rebuild our nation. Especially with Rome claiming Cilicia.

So far, the reasons given for turning back Turkish arms haven't met our needs. But they are close to what we need.

As potential vassals of Rome, you would have their protection, and the Turks also hereby offer a defensive alliance thrown in, plus a return of Antioch at some point, perhaps at the end of 20 turns time?

[rossahh]

Our own trade base and economic center is ruined in the south by Rome, so we had hoped to rally around the city and build anew from there.

To take Antioch in battle would not only shatter our armies, but yours also. Aleppo is not worthless, nor is the town of Hama. They both also follow the course of the river, which would make a good border. We we hold the lands to the south of the river that circuit the mountains and Tripoli would block any incursions from the south. The lands that we would keep would at least be defensible, though the border would be brittle.





ooc: It also needs a port to start making serious money, which it doens't as yet. If you're in debt, how would pay for the port?

[Banzai Kamikaze]

The Turk looks at the Ayyubid delegate:

Surely you mean when you walk, it will cause the earth beneath our feet to tremble?

I see no reason whatsoever for the Ayyubids to pipe up here... you refused to support the Coalition against Jerusalem aggression, and you have also apparently refused to defend Jerusalem as well. Should you wish to stay neutral, then sit down, and stay neutral.

We thank you for your assistance against Rome, and it is only because of this that we do not take your tacit approval of Jerusalem's aggression as proof of something more sinister, and that we do not consider you to be allied with them. I don't think you will find many delegates here besides yourself in support of Jerusalem, either.

Let any here who wish to defend Jerusalem speak now, or forever hold your peace.

At these words, the Ayyubid ambassador inhales as much air as his fat-filled chest wall allows and stands ready to babble when he suddenly loses balance and falls to the ground. The shockwave was thought to be an earthquake by nearby residents.

[phonicsmonkey]

The Caliph has been absent from the chamber in the weeks that have passed since his impromptu birthday celebrations.

A messenger scurries into the chamber and speaks in a whisper to the Vizier, who rises with a solemn expression on his face.

Hear this o leaders of men!

The Mighty Caliph An-Nasir, li-din Allah, Peacemaker, and blessed of Allah, has grown tired of the constant strife and bloodshed which besmirch the region, and encroach even on his own doorstep.

He has determined that the only way to ensure peace among the men of the West and of Anatolia is to supplement his previous policy of diplomacy with a show of his strength, and a reminder to all that his patience is not infinite.

Some few days ago the Crown Prince Az-Zahir, the Caliph's beloved son, did lead the armies of the Caliphate into Syria and under cover of darkness assaulted and captured the castle at Aleppo, praise be to Allah!

Although the castle was but lightly garrisoned, and the inhabitants friendly enough to the loving embrace of the Caliphate to fling open the gates and welcome the Prince's force within, the defending Crusaders did fight most fiercely and the Prince was forced to slay them all.

The black and gold banners of the Caliphate now fly over Syria and the Crown Prince stands ready to defend those lands to the death against any aggressor, inshallah.

The Caliph himself, with a force of swift horsemen, pressed on through the night to the town of Hama, where again the residents were most welcoming and threw flowers in his path as he entered the city. Allah is indeed great!
The small force of belligerents within were put to the sword as they attempted to escape.

Let all gathered here know that the Caliph does not choose the path of strife lightly, and that his actions here are intended to ensure that the current peace talks between the belligerent parties in this Levantine war are not interrupted by yet more fighting between the sides, and that the pious Muslim peoples of Syria are no longer troubled by their dwellings exchanging hands over and over in yet more pointless battles.

He warns the Crusaders and the Turks that should any of their forces attack any Caliphate armies as they go about their peacekeeping mission, they will call upon them the furious wrath of Allah himself, and the armies of Islam will crash upon them as a great wave upon the shore!

The Caliph would let it be known that he will work with the Roman Basileos to keep these Levantine lands in safe custody until an arrangement can be agreed between all parties which will secure a lasting peace in the region.

[rossahh]

The boy shakes his head at the Vizier


Your endeavours may be ones of peace, but your actions are ones of war.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Perhaps now the armies of Jerusalem see the seriousness of their situation. Do not persue the path of war any further.

You have shown yourself to be most reasonable in diplomatic matters, so, the Turks feel that peace talks could prove most fruitful. Our delegation will return in several hours.

In the meantime, I wish to inform both Rome and the Caliph that our own armies are assembled in the north, along with Georgia and perhaps Seljuk forces. Any strikes by any party against Caliphate forces will be met with the strongest reprisals from the Turks.

As the Caliph has claimed Aleppo and Hama, we have no choice but to insist that Antioch be handed over peacefully as a condition of ending this war. There is now nothing left for us except this, with Rome claiming Cilicia.

We understand your desire to keep Antioch, but you should consider whether you can withstand the coming movements into Damascus and Homs, and Roman incursions north as well. And the Turks have yet to even move.

[00jebus]

Whilst the shah does wish his forces to fight in defense of Islam and peace, there seems to be several rather large an entirly hostile armies in between, who would not allow passage

As such, count us part of any army that marches in defense of islam, though in spirit and not in corporeal form....

[The Lemongate]

It seems an accord can be reached between the Crusaders and Rome.

Your terms are acceptable to us.

The Crusader Kingdom is to become a protectorate of Rome with the area directly around the Holy City under direct Roman administration.

However, to finalize this deal, an accord must also be reached with the Turks.

We believe that the surrender of Antioch to their forces would be fair. Of course, for the protection of the Kingdom, a limit on the number of troops there could be put in place. As such, Rome would pledge to leave minimal garrisons in the Levant, with the exception of the Holy City which must be defended at all costs.

[rossahh]

The boy sighs


Very well, we shall surrender Antioch to the Turks.

The transfer will be formalised soon (ooc: my next turn).

[Askthepizzaguy]

Very good. Very good.

I believe diplomacy has prevailed here. We should formalize our treaty to end this war and all hostilities against the Latin state.

I'm discussing things with the Roman delegation now, and the Caliph can keep the provinces he has already claimed.

I will draw up a draft of the treaty and we will move forward from there. Thanks be to all who participated in this strike, and thanks also be to the Latins who agreed to the peace before needless blood was shed. For their cooperation and honouring of our agreements, the Latin state's record has been expunged and they are to be treated again with the respect of the international community.

For now, the occupation of their lands is a necessity, but their vassalage to Rome and their alliance with Turkey will grant them the protection and friendship of their neighbors. I see a bright future in store for us, now that peace has prevailed.