Reuniting the Tribes: A Getai AAR

[Chirurgeon]

Great stuff as usual. Love the little humorous bits you put in there. Like the guy running backwards. Nice touch with the boiling oil. LOL and how you called your horsemen fatties. Fat horsemen...hilarious.

[Hooahguy]

well, i dropped my laptop on a wooden floor last night, and i dropped it on its corner on the hard drive side. when i turned it back on, it gave me an error screen. i called Dell tech support, and they said my hard drive is dead (the shock waves from the impact completely messed it up, but everything else is fine), but they are sending me a new one, which will arrive thursday-friday. im going to need to reinstall EB, as well as my other games.

but i am bringing RTW, as well as the installation file for EB 1.1 on my flash drive, so i think ill be able to play over passover. wish me luck!

[Chirurgeon]

well, i dropped my laptop on a wooden floor last night, and i dropped it on its corner on the hard drive side. when i turned it back on, it gave me an error screen. i called Dell tech support, and they said my hard drive is dead (the shock waves from the impact completely messed it up, but everything else is fine), but they are sending me a new one, which will arrive thursday-friday. im going to need to reinstall EB, as well as my other games.

but i am bringing RTW, as well as the installation file for EB 1.1 on my flash drive, so i think ill be able to play over passover. wish me luck!

You have the worst luck with computers of anyone i know...I hope you can get it all fixed. Now I guess this AAR is really dead.

[Hooahguy]

You have the worst luck with computers of anyone i know...I hope you can get it all fixed. Now I guess this AAR is really dead.

no, no silly! its still alive! dont worry! i should have clarified: the AAR is on my desktop, and EB v1.1 is on my laptop. is was trying to recreate the AAR on my laptop in a getic campaign with 1.1, when i dropped the laptop (not while playing, of course).
so the AAR is still alive, DONT WORRY!!!

[Chirurgeon]

no, no silly! its still alive! dont worry! i should have clarified: the AAR is on my desktop, and EB v1.1 is on my laptop. is was trying to recreate the AAR on my laptop in a getic campaign with 1.1, when i dropped the laptop (not while playing, of course).
so the AAR is still alive, DONT WORRY!!!

Yay...onwards!

[Hooahguy]

....too bad im leaving tomorrow for NY/NJ for 8-9 days....
should i skip installing EB v1.1, and install 1.0 on my laptop so i can work on it over my vacation?

[Chirurgeon]

I guess we can wait till you get back.

[Hooahguy]

well, i fixed my laptop and i have formulated a brilliant plan of how to transfer my AAR over to v1.1, and with a twist....
stay tuned!

[Reality=Chaos]

Grrr now you've chained me to this forum. Damn you... or rather Damn my curiosity

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 26: A foreboding future

A week after Koson took power, he feigned a national emergency and suspended all civil liberties.


he also turned our great confederacy into a dictatorship, only ruled by him, and he had full control of the military, which he used to his advantage.

most people thought this was ok, since he told us it was just temporary, but we were wrong.
he soon made them permanent, and is sending his secret police to arrest all opposition. i, Gudila per Drobeta, am fearful because i am one of them, even though i am only 16 years of age. i am hiding at a friends house as i write you this letter. any moment now, the police will open the door and arrest me for crimes against the regime.
i do not know when i will be able to write again, but i can tell you it will be a very long time.
they are coming through the door.
good bye.

[Ayce]

Hmm, Chapter 26 sounds familiar.

[Hooahguy]

lol. sorry- i had to put it in to prelude the next chapter, which may not come for a while AND will be huge....

[Hooahguy]

well, im about halfway done with the switch, and i think im breaking some major AAR rules with this... expect the update late this week, if not the next. i still have major tweaking to do.

[Wolfman]

Good to see this is still running Hooahguy! I like seeing itchy Dwarves fight!

[Ibrahim]

will there be dacian evil symbols, genocide of Greeks, and a massive world war caused by Koson? stay tuned for another exciting episode in the Getic AAR!
still as funny as ever . keep up the good work

[Hooahguy]

arrgh... i would continue this, but im too caught up with the video contest.... when its over, ill update.....

[Hooahguy]

you guys ask, i deliver-
new update coming right up!
i wasnt able to port the AAR over to v1.1, so this is still v1.0.
enjoy!

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 27- The Romani Threat

After a year of being in prison, I, as with most of the other “political prisoners,” have been let out on good behavior. It seems as if a lot went on in the year I was gone, or at least that’s what a friend told me. Koson also re-instated the Council on the threat of civil war.
A month after I was thrown in jail by the Drobeta regime, Koson tried to lead his troops to attack the Koinon Hellenon.
It failed because his troops refused to betray an ally.


We discovered a Pontos spy in Tylis. Koson was rebuked by the Council as to how w let our guards down in Thraikia. But finding a spy in Tylis wasn’t the worst of things. Pontos began a siege on Byzantion and our sworn enemies took hold of Pergamon, but I doubt they will hold it for long.


But there was an incident that almost tore the confederation apart.
In the fall of 236, two months before I was released, patrols discovered a large Romani army on the outskirts of Sarmiszegethusa, which only had a modest garrison.


We sent out the garrison to perform maneuvers in sight of their camp. They hung about until winter approached, then retreated to the outskirts of Singidunum, where another Romani army merged with it.
The alarm was raised, and members of the garrisons of Naissos and Serdike headed towards the intruders.


But before any violence erupted, our diplomats found their weakness: money.
For a cost of 50,000 mnai, which Koson per Drobeta provided out of his own pockets, the Romani army defected to our side. How he got that much money no one stopped to consider at the time. Meanwhile we sent the bribed army to the Bosporus where they would do little harm, if any at all. We would “deal” with them later.


Bask in Buridava, the Council was in chaos. The Romani, the second most powerful nation after us, has their eyes on our provinces. Representatives from Sarmiszegethusa and Singidunum demanded to know why the intruders weren’t detected until they were at the doors of Sarmiszegethusa. Security had been lax in those areas, due to the offensive in the Hellas. As a result, the chief of intelligence, Rhexmaxos per Buridava, was relived of his duties.
It would have been so easy for the Romani to have invaded and taken those two vital trade cities. The council demanded action from our new Vasil, or Sarmiszegethusa and Singidunum would secede from the confederation.

But a Vasil who is in the south isn’t much help in the north, for as soon as he sent the 50,000 mnai to bribe the Romani with, he returned to Demetrias to plan for the invasion of Chalkis, the last Makedonian holding in Europe. When he presented his plans, which would require taking forces from central Thraikia to Hellas, to the Council, it was immediately vetoed. The Council demanded that he first deal with the “Romani dilemma,” as they dubbed it, and they wouldn’t release the forces to him until he took care of it with it, or at least left enough forces to deal with an invasion when it came. Furthermore, it needed the forces in Thraikia to deal with Pontos if they made a move towards Tylis. Ceding to the Council, Koson ordered for a full strength army to be sent near the border towns with the Romani. He also implemented a draft, which probably is the reason why he let so many political prisoners out of prison. We need as many able-bodied people as possible.

The “Romani dilemma” in the west wasn’t the only thing that was on the minds of the Council. To the southeast, Epeiros was in a stalemate with its war with the Romani, and its armies were waiting around on the coast, apparently waiting for the order to attack Thermon, Pella, or the Romani in the north. We prayed that it wasn’t us. Those elephants look mean.
To make matters worse, it seems as if the Koinon Hellenon are preparing for war with someone. Hopefully they would take Chalkis so we can concentrate all of our forces to the west and the north. It was a trying time, but I am confident we will get through it.

[Ayce]

The Koinon will probably betray you and siege Chalkis if you take it.

And by the looks of those stack, they are more of a threat than the pitiful Romani.

[Hooahguy]

ya- the romani will be easy- even if they did attack Sarmiszegethusa, they would have been defeated sondly b/c all i had there were falxmen and a few archers.

[Chaotix]

Whoa! It's back! I thought this was dead for good, but you came back with a big update and everything! Awesome, keep it up.

[Hooahguy]

thanks Chaotix for keeping faith
meanwhile, heres how i feel about this AAR-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXaZmY52gHM

[Emperor Burakuku]

Finally! Nice job man.

[Hooahguy]

you should read the entire thing becasue its pretty important....

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 28- Council in Session

In the spring of 236, the Council sent spies to the south of Hellas, where the Koinon Hellenon, our allies, resided. There they discovered a huge army near Korinthos and another one near Athenai.


It was a matter of great concern to the Council. Where was it headed? It was undoubtedly waiting orders from the Southern Hellenic Assembly, which ruled over the Greek city states in southern Greece. Based in Athenai, they were reliable allies- for now. However, the Spartan king, a powerful member of the assembly, did not take a very positive attitude towards our great confederation. He was reported to have even thrown a diplomat down a well when he didn't like the terms offered. In Sparte, the warriors were the diplomats.
Where this large army was headed was unknown to us. Hopefully it would be headed for Chalkis, but in the meantime, we had to prepare for the worst- an attack on Demetrias.

To prepare for an attack, we needed an army in position to respond.
One of the Councilmen from Serdike, named Kazurus, had an idea.

“Why don’t we send the general who we just bribed down there with a mercenary army? He has good commanding skills, as his record shows. He would be perfect to deal with any Koinon Hellenon problems.”


A Councilman from Naissos, named Tauros, objected.
“What if he defects to the Koinon Hellenon, or even worse, Makedonia? We all know how he is partial to money. He betrayed his own homeland for money! There’s no telling what he will do! That would spell disaster for all our operations in the region.”

“Councilman Tauros has a point.” Said Councilman Kazurus. “So here is what I propose- we give him bodyguards of all men who are fiercely loyal to us, and they don’t allow any diplomats to approach him. Furthermore, let us offer him 10,000 mnai a season for him to stay with us.”

“Are you mad?! 10,000 mnai?! That will drain our treasury faster than a hole in a jug!”

“Then what would you rather us do? His army is the only one not tied up in some operation or another. Once we raise a suitable garrison for Demetrias we can move the field army that is defending it now out of there and onto its next destination, and the mercenary army can be disbanded or sent to the Bosporus to be forgotten, as we do with all of our useless mercenaries. ”

“What if we send the mercenary army to Ak-Ink, to impede the Romani advance?”



“Objection! Two problems: one, he may lose heart at fighting countrymen and switch side mid-battle, and two, he may betray us as he did them and go back to his homeland, turning over Ak-Ink to the Romani. The bloodshed will have been worthless. In addition, we can’t just send the mercenaries to the Bosporus. Many of them are really good units. Apparently, it's Borat, or whatever he calls himself, who is the problem.”

Councilman Diales, the son of the famous spy, spoke up.
“Why don’t we replace him with a general whose loyalty is in no doubt?”

The head of the Council, Tarsa per Drobeta, also the heir to the throne, spoke up.
“But then where will we put him? Have him reside in Buridava for the rest of his life? We can’t do that. We must put him in combat at some point or another, or he may defect because he feels that he wasn’t being appreciated!”

“So why don’t we just kill him and say he never existed?” Diales looked a bit excited, for he was also the newly appointed intelligence chief. “I could frame him for some crime so we won't have to go through all of this.”

“Diales, my father did not pay 40,000 mnai out of his own pocket just to have him killed off the bat. Besides, everyone already knows about the bribe, and they will wonder what happened to him. I have a better idea. Send him and his mercenary army into the mountains between Pella and Demetrias to help defend the area. Once we raise a suitable garrison for Demetrias, we pull the field army acting as a garrison out and replace “Borat” as commander of the defense forces in the region. Then we can send “Borat” constantly busy with dealing with the many small rebel camps that spring up from time to time.”


“Your excellence, that is a great idea. Will we also pay him the 10,000 mnai a season?”

“Yes, and Seuthles, write up his payments but make sure that the terms state that the payments will be terminated once he is moved out of Hellas. Once he is out of the area, it will be lowered to 5,000 mnai, the standard for all Getic generals.

“Yes sir, it will be done.”

“Meanwhile, we must decide on what to do with the Skythian Noble Cavalry. They are costing us and it's very hard to retrain them as we extend our lands further south. Therefore, I propose that we replace them as our standard cavalry with the Thraikian medium Cavalry.”


“But they aren’t as strong as the Skythians and they have a very good record.”

“Seuthles, would you rather pay for them to journey the hundred miles or so north to retrain them?”

“No, I would rather not. So what do we do with the current units of Skythians we have?”

Councilman Diales spoke.
“Why don’t we send them all to the south and keep them in reserve? Surly it will take a while for the Thraikians to train and our armies in the south need to have their cavalry support When they are done training we can pull out all the Skythians and hold them in reserve in Thraikia in case we need a quick cavalry strike on an enemy army.”

“Wonderful idea Diales! Now we need to deal with the Makedonians. Should we invade Chalkis as soon as we have the forces?”

Tarseraden, the lead member of the defense council raised his opinion.
“Nay. The Koinon Hellenon has their eyes on Chalkis. By invading Chalkis, we may bring the wrath of their armies against us. We need allies now, not enemies. I suggest sending assassins to kill the Makedonian generals and family members, in an attempt to cause civil strife within the remnants of Makedonia.”

“Ornes, authorize the recruitment of assassins to carry out what Tarseraden said.”

“It will be done.”

But the head of finances had one last question.
“How much money should be allotted for this?”

“Seuthles, put aside 15,000 mnai for this. Meanwhile, do you think the people will take a 5% increase of taxes in order of national defense? Even with the 40,000 mnai a season tax from each city, it may not be enough to fund future operations.”

“I'm not sure though, but we can try and see what the response is.”

“You do that then. The last item on the agenda for the week: Duda, the client ruler of Singidunum has died. Should we appoint Duda II, his son, as governor? He has no real talent in much, even at the age of 30.”


Tarurones, the elderly head representative from Singidunum, approved of Duda II.
“Duda II, the eldest son of Duda, comes from a very popular family in Singidunum. Almost everyone likes him and his family. It would be a shame to not appoint him, even if he has no skills.”

“But isn’t there someone else who has more skills?”

“Don’t you remember? Duda, when appointed, had little skill himself. And look how well he turned out.”

“Nay, I don’t remember, for I was a little toddler when that happened. In any case, I accept your better judgment on this. Council dismissed.”

Thus ended the council session that would decide the course of our great confederation.

[Chirurgeon]

OMG i nearly peed myself reading that. Go Borat!! Sexy time. I am soooo glad you are continuing this. Awesome job man...simply awesome.

[Hooahguy]

Chapter 29- The Covert War turns not so covert

Ever since the council made the decision to send assassins to Chalkis, things began to look very different in south Hellas.
Not only did we attempt killings on Makedonian generals and diplomats, we also sabotaged the Romani war machine, setting fire to every military barracks which we could find. We also killed the spies who penetrated our cities to gain valuable information to pass on to the Romani general who was able to penetrate so far into our territory. It was a covert war, no more, no less.



We had our failures and success, as all wars do.
Our list of failures was especially long.

(but really the list goes on for a few dozen more people....)

Our highlight of our successes was the assassination of the Makedonian heir-


We also tracked their diplomats around Europe and killed them before they could approach any other nation for an alliance. We did our job, for they made none.

But there was one unfortunate happening that changed southern Hellas forever.
One of our assassins accidentally killed a Koinon Hellenon captain, who was taking vacation near Athenai and looked similar to a Makedonian captain who we were really targeting.


While war wasn’t directly declared, the Koinon Hellenon began sending its own spies and assassins to our cities. We did our best to catch them, but some got through and destroyed a few military installations.

But we struck back- hard.
We killed two Koinon Hellenon family members- one of them the heir and the defense minister for the Southern Hellenic Assembly.


While that was going on, the Koinon Hellenon sent generals throughout former Makedonian lands to scout. Our forces followed them closely. A few others followed them as well.


Before they left, it was debated in the Council whether to detain them or not. In the end, we decided not o arrest them, on the risk of causing a war, which we weren’t prepared for.
But as a precautionary measure, we formed another army, led by Tarsa per Drobeta, to assist his father, who by that time had gathered his army and moved out of Demetrias.

Meanwhile, “Borat,” who was taking up residence in the mountains of the Balkans, got word that he was marked for death in Roma. Now there was no doubt of his loyalty to us.
We moved him and an army carefully made to defend Demetrias, undoubtedly the first target for the Koinon Hellenon forces.

The main army, under Koson was still being formed when our spies notified us of a large force being assembled next to Athenai. Apparently, the Southern Hellenic Assembly had decided on war. The south part of the confederation went under red alert, and all available forces were sent south. The war drums are drumming, and only time will tell who will beat it in the end.

[Chirurgeon]

comon people you know you want to comment. Interesting how they sent all those assasins into your lands. I rarely use them but I suppose they do have their strategic use

[Hooahguy]

thanks chirurgeon. i actually got my inspiration for the spies/assasins after reading about the mossad and other spy agencies. if i may recommend a book, Gideon's Spies by Gordon Thomas.
amazing book- a must read!

[johnhughthom]

Surely Borat would be Pahlav, Saka or Sauromatae?