Capo di Tutti Capi IV [Concluded]

[Montmorency]

The Toe Mafia is flailing. They're the Cunnio, correct?

And Crazed Rabbit is a Don?

[Askthepizzaguy]

The Toe Mafia is flailing. They're the Cunnio, correct?

Well, I mean, what are they doing with the toes? Please don't tell me that this chili I'm eating...

And Crazed Rabbit is a Don?

Yes. He's been vewwy vewwy quiet about it.

[Askthepizzaguy]

2400 Plaza del Universo
Radio City building, Suite 501
Fatlington, New Jersey

There can be no other reason why
You know we should of seen it coming
Consequences we cannot deny
Will be revealed in time
Glaciers melt as we pollute the sky
A sign of devastation coming
We don't need another way to die
Can we repent in time?
The time bomb is ticking
And no one is listening
Our future is fading
Is there any hope we'll survive?
Still we ravage the world that we love
And the millions cry out to be saved
Our endless maniacal appetites
Left us with another way to die
ITS JUST ANOTHER WAY TO DIE

The Anachronism hour with DJ Saucy Slice


"Good morning Fatlington! This is your host of the Anachronism Hour, DJ Saucy Slice.

Well now that is more like it. I'm sitting here reading the news and what do I see, but good, honest Fatlings protecting themselves instead of relying on the police. Vigilante justice is the only kind you'll find left. The song you just heard was "Another way to die" by Disturbed.

My father Santino has something special prepared for tonight's committee meeting, and he welcomes your support once again as Director. He promises once again to work tirelessly on your behalf, keeping Fatlington independent of Federal encroachment, ensuring that your family business continues to grow, and ensuring that the bloated police force is sent on a well-deserved vacation!"

Select: Askthepizzaguy

For the future. For the children. For the luls.

Keep that dial on WSCM, Real Scum 101.1 New Jersey's Best Rock alternative station, with DJ Saucy Slice. He'll serve your ears something hot and fresh in thirty minutes or less.

[Seon]

Select:ATPG.

Enjoy another day in the office.

[Ishmael]

I don't know ATPG, your previous write-up seemed somewhat egotistical - you focussed a bit too much of the heroic exploits of Slice & Slice, without giving Populus the respect he deserved (if by 'respect' you mean 'gruesome yet creative death'). Are there any known Lucas about? If so, it would make sense for the other families to vote them in as Director, from my external perspective.

[Askthepizzaguy]

.....

Gruesome and creative deaths are how we show respect in Capo.

[Ishmael]

That's what I'm saying. His death wasn't gruesome/yet creative enough. I mean, I got killed by a tiger - that's stylish. No offence Pizza, but you killed Populus with a table - I know you can do better than that.

[Askthepizzaguy]

That's what I'm saying. His death wasn't gruesome/yet creative enough. I mean, I got killed by a tiger - that's stylish. No offence Pizza, but you killed Populus with a table - I know you can do better than that.

He was killed by face-planting onto concrete after being shot in the stomach, after being hit with a desk, after being shot at by a minigun from a stolen aeromedical helicopter. I intend to do something more stylish than that but I had loose ends to tie up first.

[Diana Abnoba]

Select: ATPG

Vote: CrazedRabbit, it's time to serve the bunny, maybe baked with potato wedges.

[Diana Abnoba]

Sorry I forgot to bold;

Select: ATPG

Vote: CrazedRabbit

[fyremarble]

Select: Askthepizzaguy
Vote: Crazed Rabbit

Let's make some hassenffefer!

[Montmorency]

Yes! Down with the Dons!

[Crazed Rabbit]

I'm not a don.



Fyremarble, how could you?

Seriously guys, I'm just lazing my way through the end of this game - I haven't sent in any orders these last two nights, and if deserve one thing it's to be killed in the night in a blaze of glory (though a repeat of my Capo I death wouldn't be bad) and not tried in a court of law. My day has gone from bad to awesome just recently and I'd prefer it stay that way. I'm positive ATPG knows who protected me last night. What I'm really curious about is who tried to kill me.

Note - I do have one million dollars worth of land who's transfer will be uncontested by the owners. Because they're dead.

Oh yeah,

Select: Crazed Rabbit

Because I will make more awesome kill scenes than ATPG. As proof, I offer this kill from Capo I:

Moros wasn’t sleeping well. He kept having weird dreams about being forced to sleepwalk and of his mom forcing him to eat oatmeal….As first rays of sunlight fell onto his bed, Moros yawned and got dressed, pleased with the ray of sunlight.
Almost immediately he became aware of a strong odor in the air - he couldn't quite place it, but it reminded him of cereal, or oatmeal of some sort. He wondered what the smell could mean. The memory of the recent killings came to him, and he became very nervous, wondering if the smell was indication of some sort of poison. He opened his bedroom door and was stunned to find the smell stronger in his house. He retreated into his bedroom, very worried now. Still, he couldn't detect any symptoms of deadly gas.

Then the phone rang. He swung his head towards it, suddenly extremely suspicious of the phone. It rang two more times before he answered it.[/I]

“Good morning, Moros,” a voice said.

“Who is this?” asked Moros.

“It seems you have a slight problem with the quality of your air this morning”

“Who are you, and what have you done?”

“Relax, please. What you smell is a harmless, natural food product - grain. Nothing to worry about - inhaling it shouldn't be dangerous.”

Moros did relax, slightly, though his voice did not lose its edge, “What are you doing, and what is the meaning of this?”

“Of course,” the voice continued, “In the right grain-to-air mixture, it is highly explosive."

Moros’ mind flashed back twenty years to when he was a 17-year old Marine fighting Sandino’s guerillas. The image of a grain silo suddenly exploding and killing half a platoon vivid after all these years….the adrenaline shot through him.

Why don't you look out your window?” said the voice.

Moros glanced out the window in time to see a flaming projectile arcing through the air…

It lanced through the window of a town home two blocks away, just visible up the street from the window where he stood. Breaking through the window there was a gust of flame, followed by a powerful explosion that gutted the townhome as well as the neighboring homes to either side. It even cracked the window where Moros was standing.

Stunned and worried, Moros glanced at the phone – only a dial tone now – left his room….

“This isn’t my house, it’s just the same floorplan…”

Moros’ house had, indeed, been blown to fragments, he just wasn’t in it at the time. He went down stares warily, his quick search finding the townhome where he was to be empty. Same floorplan, minimal furniture, but essentially empty. On the small table in the kitchen, he found a steaming bowl of oatmeal – the source of the grainy smell in this townhome – with a politle typed note next to it, reading:

Eat hearty, oatmeal is good for your health.

A white glove was found on the doorstep of Moros’ rubbled home.

I would have killed that guy with a frickin' grain explosion in his house triggered by a flaming tennis ball shooting through his window if a doctor hadn't saved him.

I want you to read that again. Grain explosion. Flaming tennis ball. Yeah, that's right. Now go on and select me. ATPG has plenty of doctors and others who'll protect him. The mafia can do better than cliched movie reference executions featuring ATPG and his alter-ego mugging for the story.

CR

[Jarema]

It is so rewarding to go into Diana's steps...
Select: ATPG
Vote: CrazedRabbit

[Crazed Rabbit]

Vote: Fyremarble

Let's kill the Stracchi don and get some real fun going here.

CR

[Populus Romanus]

Grain explosion. Flaming tennis ball. Stracci Don.

I know you understand.

[Askthepizzaguy]

If the Rabbit is lynched today, I can promise you that although it has been requested and is very tempting, I won't go with the bunny-boiling.

Nor will I do another installment of high-flying heroism/villainy with the Santino family. No, if it is Crazed Rabbit, it will be something special. And if it is someone else, they'll get the royal rabbit treatment instead.

[classical_hero]

vote:Crazed Rabbit
Select:ATPG

[Askthepizzaguy]

I could do something in the style of Elmer Fudd, and it would be good too, but then we'd get grumblings about originality.

Should I ignore them?

[classical_hero]

As long as it is entertaining, I don't care.

[Double A]

I could do something in the style of Elmer Fudd, and it would be good too, but then we'd get grumblings about originality.

Should I ignore them?

Yes.

vote: Chaotix Let's go for that double lynch, guys
select: ATPG

[The Stranger]

vote: chaotix

[The Stranger]

vote: chaotix

[Neri]

Select: Askthepizzaguy
Vote: Crazed Rabbit

For the bunny puns.

[shlin28]

War it is then...

Vote: Chaotix
Select: Askthepizzaguy

[Cahoma]

Select: ATPG
Vote: CrazedRabbit

[Xehh II]

Vote:Crazed Rabbit I don't know what you're up to but it's obviously not good

[Diamondeye]

As long as it is entertaining, I don't care.

Panem et Circenses. Sheesh, Fatlington, what have you come to?

[Crazed Rabbit]

Two things well, one thing really. You mafia characters are the most pathetic I've ever seen in any mafia game. Ever.

I'm sure that the Stracchi are outnumbered, but here we a couple folks from other families stumbling over themselves to do as their master ATPG commands.

You guys realize you're not actually playing mafia, right? That you're functionally just a robot following orders?

CR

[Beskar]

I would vote Chaotix, but he is my arch-nemesis. I want to be the one who kills him personally.