Quote Originally Posted by rory_20_uk View Post
After the 7/7 bombings my ex got in touch to check to see if I was OK. And if I had been blinded and had my hands blown off would she have done anything? Probably not. She wanted the illusion of caring. Facebook is only retrospective. Rarely of any use to prevent bad things happening. Few people post "was beaten and raped last night - LOL. Off to the police station..."

Monitoring from afar doesn't help, it prolongs things. In the nicest possible way, speaking as one of many who has trodden this road, get over it and move on. Just be grateful you've not got any baggage linking you to her permanently. E-stalking might be easier in the short term, but helps no one. A break is extremely difficult but things slowly improve.

I see where you're coming from, I really do, and if she was my girlfriend at some point that would be how I would have handled it. As it is, those memories aren't going anywhere and I have no momento of her which is not a momento of something else. Un adding her on facebook would do no good as we have upwards of maybe 30 friends in common still, including people I actually see and meet up with on occasion, cutting the link with her would just mean getting bits and pieces unless I cut ALL those people out as well.

She's still going to be the one who stopped me being suicidal, and I'm still going to be the one who broke the realtionship almost without help.

Then there's the part where she was instrumental in me coming to terms with believing in God.

It is, after all, all connected.

I'll confess to e-stalking in the past but it has become a vanishing urge - especially over the last year - and as I said, I'm sane enough now to resist writing a congratulary note. Either that would mean nothing to her, so why bother or it would mean something, so why hurt her.

As I said though, without the option of digital stalking I might have taken up actual stalking - which is something I find interesting in and of itself.

Beyond that, I have honestly never been able to have an intimate relationship with anyone in 25 years of life and I don't expect that to ever change. The thing I have to come to terms with is that I'm only interested in women I can't ever have and I'm not able to live with someone else and modify my life accordingly.

So why worry about it?