Quote Originally Posted by Kralizec View Post
This is a bit of a surprise for me, but I think I can empathize with your feelings about this situation. (and I don't like to talk about personal feelings on the internet either, or even in real life for that matter)

My advice would be to simply wish her well with her marriage, in a polite manner that is - leaving a message on facebook is not going to cut it, so send a card or something like that.
She doesn't want you- at least, that's what you're writing here. If you have any grievances about what happened between the two of you, abandon them and let her go. If you're not able to be "just friends" with her, then don't- simply wish her well, show up at the wedding if invited and then move on without keeping in touch.

I'm not the best person for general girl advice; but I'll say this: the first girl that truly broke my heart was a fellow student who did not return my affections in the slightest. In fact, looking back I'm pretty sure that I freaked her out more than once when I tried to approach her under the guise of just making conversation (it must have been pretty transparant). I got frustrated, depressed at some point and held a long, long grudge. Eventually I managed to to mentally put that aside, because it was at the time easy to avoid her anyway. A year later however, we shared several classes and we'd run into eachother on a regular basis. Sometimes she would approach me for the obligatory "so, how have you been" kind of talk - in which case I did chat with her, but I never approached her myself again.
The point is that allthough I've been with other women since, the memory of that particular girl never really left me, and thinking back about the whole thing gives me a glimpse of the frustration and anger I felt back then. I have no idea what's she doing for a job right now or if she has a boyfriend or spouse; but if I knew right now that I had a realistic chance of being with her, I'd pursue it. But even if there ever was that chance, that ship sailed away long ago - so I don't think about her, and I'm better off for it. And she is, too.
Thank you for sharing.

I find it odd that everybody is so surprised, I supposed that everyone assumed I had sworn off women for a reason, it comes up often enough in my posts. I'm even more surprised that people seem to think contacting her is a good idea, so I'll just say it isn't.

Of course, if you guys didn't think I had some deep personnal Christological-related trauma driving me, what did you think it was?