It had been almost a week now since the first piece of furniture collapsed in the Olsson's living room. Because of all the sabotage and furniture killings that had happened since then the room looked sparsely furnished, only a sofa, a carpet, a tv bench, a print and a chandelier remained.
Mr Olsson was frustrated of course, but he had been at work all week, and hadn't been able to replace all the furniture that broke. One thing was certain though; he wasn't going to spend that much money on designer furniture if it was going to break just randomly by itself. No, Mr. Olsson had decided that from here on out he would go to Ikea to buy his furniture, no matter how many screws went missing or how easily it broke. At least the furniture from Ikea would be cheap to replace, unlike some of these other things he had purchased after his lottery win.

- Hmph! Vanity! he mumbled to himself as he walked through the living room shaking his head at the lack of furniture in there.

The remaining furniture heard his mumble and smiled amongst themselves. They cracked their knuckles (Now don't ask me how a carpet cracks knuckles. How should I know?) and braced themselves for the final stretch.

- You're lying! How would you have been able to see if any of us were innocent?

- I saw it, ok? But if you don't believe me that's fine. Just make sure that when I'm gone you get this suspicious looking fellow over here tomorrow.

- You want to die?

- ...

- I did not expect that. Perhaps it isn't you? Or perhaps you knew that if you wanted to die then I would think it wasn't you so you decided to pretend you want to die even if you don't want to? Or perhaps you're actually telling the truth except you care so much about us that you want to die for our sake just as long as we promise to kill this guy tomorrow?

- ...

- Ok, how about we get rid of this other guy first, and then we come after you again tomorrow!

- Good plan!

- Ok let's do it!

- I'll just leave the offer open if you want to. Go ahead, kill me at any time, but remember you have to kill this other guy tomorrow.

- Wait, why am I being killed?

Generalhankerchief has been lynched

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
- So, please don't mess up tomorrow then, since you're messing up today by lynching me.

The sofa was clearly not happy about being the victim of today's events, but he would be damned if they were going to be allowed to make another mistake tomorrow.

All along during this whole process the couch had been fairly quiet. Sure he had made his comments and opinions known, but there were others who had been louder.

- So, said the chandelier, - If you're not it, then who is in your opinion?

- I don't know, said the sofa. - Perhaps the carpet, or the tv bench, but probably just the carpet. I mean, his name is IKEA carpet. How fake can you get? I doubt it's the print though. He looks so honest. Besides, everything else that has been hanging on a wall has been innocent.

- True, said the chandelier. - Well, despite me having seen that both the print, carpet and tv bench are innocent, and knowing that I am I will still take the fall today if you want me to. Really. You can kill me. It's fine. I'll help you. Look. I'm voting myself. I'm not changing ever. I really think it's the sofa, but I won't vote for him in case it isn't. I'd rather vote for myself because I know I'm innocent.

The sofa just shook his cushion.

A sofa, however, is a very large piece of furniture to take on for a carpet, a tv bench, a chandelier and a print, so they had enlisted some help to take care of this beast of a cushioned monster*.

*They were still hoping that he was a monster.

The tv bench whistled (I don't know how), and from the kitchen came two giant huskys. They jumped onto the sofa and started biting and clawing and tearing at the leather cushions with their teeth. Nobody had neither walked nor fed them today, so they were particularly ferocious.

It was a sad sight.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



GeneralHankerchief was Chelsea black leather sofa, mafia Godfather with 1x bulletproof vest.