What to do with an old friend

[pevergreen]

Say no.

[Fragony]

Say no.

Not in my vocabulary when it comes to friends, already said yes. But he isn't the same person anymore, or maybe I am not. Can't have him around but can't refuse anything, nasty.

[InsaneApache]

Tell him a white lie. Say he can stay on the boat for, let's say, a couple of weeks until he can get somewhere else to live. This is because you have arranged to sail to England to meet up with a hot girl/man* for lots of sex and partying. You get the idea, just make something up but give him some time to sort his life out.

*This is brought to you via the equality commission which does not discriminate on grounds of race, sexual orientation, ethnic origin or orgness.

[PanzerJaeger]

You're a good friend Frags. If you can't cut him off cold, then give him some cash to get on his feet and find a place to stay and wash your hands of him.

[KukriKhan]

I admire your devotion to the concept of friendship. Too bad your friend doesn't (or cannot, due to drug-induced brain damage) share your devotion. Now that you're committed (and have pretty much "lost" your boat) you are stuck, so you have to see it through. Therefore: this is a test of your devotion to the concept. How much of your stuff and your time will you give up for your friend in need? Answer: half, but no more.

Until you're married, that is. Then "she who must be obeyed" will decide such things for you.

Think of it as an investment; some day your buddy will be "up" and you'll be "down", and he'll help you. Maybe when you're old and really need it.

[Husar]

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Friendship is most certainly about being there when times are hard, and I think you've done a very kind thing, Fragony.

However, a good friend is also one who will be honest and straight. I think you owe it to this chap to tell him of your disappointment in his behaviour, and that your kindness must perforce have its limits. Give him a clear deadline to get himself sorted out and stick to it. As someone else has said, friendship is a two way street, and he should make efforts to repay your kindness by taking control of his own life.

Your biggest problem (to which you allude) is that drug addicts can be very manipulative and devious - especially in exploiting those who care, sadly. Make sure this doesn't happen to you by being firm.

[Csargo]

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

Husar I need a place to live and a plane ticket to Germany. Can you hook me up?