What to do with an old friend

[Fragony]

I know him for forever but he's gotten adrift, too much drugs. When I took half a tablet he took 5 and his brains seem fried, talking about souls and spirits, or in general he got nuts but he thinks he's really a genius and we just don't understand all that. I don't enjoy talking with him any more, mememe he never stops being fascinated by how brilliant he is, he isn't. He got released from the padded walls and wants to live on my boat for a while. Can't refuse it just happens to be there. Want to get rid of him really he embarrasses me, but he is still my friend and I don't turn down friends. gah.

[InsaneApache]

Late at night, when he's asleep, cut the ropes and let the boat drift away. He could be hundreds of miles away come the morning. Problem solved.

Seriously though, freindship is a two way thing. He's taking advantage of you.

[Fragony]

Late at night, when he's asleep, cut the ropes and let the boat drift away. He could be hundreds of miles away come the morning. Problem solved.

It's my own boat geez, no wonder you guys live on an island

[pevergreen]

Say no.

[Fragony]

Say no.

Not in my vocabulary when it comes to friends, already said yes. But he isn't the same person anymore, or maybe I am not. Can't have him around but can't refuse anything, nasty.

[InsaneApache]

Tell him a white lie. Say he can stay on the boat for, let's say, a couple of weeks until he can get somewhere else to live. This is because you have arranged to sail to England to meet up with a hot girl/man* for lots of sex and partying. You get the idea, just make something up but give him some time to sort his life out.

*This is brought to you via the equality commission which does not discriminate on grounds of race, sexual orientation, ethnic origin or orgness.

[PanzerJaeger]

You're a good friend Frags. If you can't cut him off cold, then give him some cash to get on his feet and find a place to stay and wash your hands of him.

[KukriKhan]

I admire your devotion to the concept of friendship. Too bad your friend doesn't (or cannot, due to drug-induced brain damage) share your devotion. Now that you're committed (and have pretty much "lost" your boat) you are stuck, so you have to see it through. Therefore: this is a test of your devotion to the concept. How much of your stuff and your time will you give up for your friend in need? Answer: half, but no more.

Until you're married, that is. Then "she who must be obeyed" will decide such things for you.

Think of it as an investment; some day your buddy will be "up" and you'll be "down", and he'll help you. Maybe when you're old and really need it.

[Husar]

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Friendship is most certainly about being there when times are hard, and I think you've done a very kind thing, Fragony.

However, a good friend is also one who will be honest and straight. I think you owe it to this chap to tell him of your disappointment in his behaviour, and that your kindness must perforce have its limits. Give him a clear deadline to get himself sorted out and stick to it. As someone else has said, friendship is a two way street, and he should make efforts to repay your kindness by taking control of his own life.

Your biggest problem (to which you allude) is that drug addicts can be very manipulative and devious - especially in exploiting those who care, sadly. Make sure this doesn't happen to you by being firm.

[Fragony]

Boat isn't the problem it's more of a floating heart-seizure then a boat, but perfectly livable as long as it doesn't have to go anywhere. Anyways he can stay just needed to rant.

[Csargo]

Well, if he keeps taking so many drugs then it seems likely by the time Fragony will be old that dude will be long dead.

There is the option of going to him and telling him the truth, you can tell it in a manner that will not outright insult him, tell him you still like him but you think what he is doing with his life is just wrong and that you do not wish to support his lifestyle for long, that you will give him shelter for some time but he should try to sort out his life and find his own place to live.

That way you don't throw him out, you don't insult him, you just tell him the truth, if he does not understand or gets enraged, well, then maybe throw him out after telling him that he is the one living on your boat.

Husar I need a place to live and a plane ticket to Germany. Can you hook me up?

[Husar]

Husar I need a place to live and a plane ticket to Germany. Can you hook me up?

No way, go away you smelly backwater hillbilly!

I mean I'm not Fragony, I don't have an old, rusty boat I could let you live on.
And I can't even afford a plane ticket myself, really, it's me who needs your help!

[Fragony]

What did you just say about my boat? It is my exclive right to bash it. Yes it's old and rusty and barely floating but that's fun

[Peasant Phill]

I assume he wants a place to stay until he 'finds a place of his own' or until he 'gets the cash to rent something himself' or 'until he gets back on his feet'. Maybe helping him finding a place/a job/... may get him out of your hair AND you'll have been a good friend.

[Husar]

What did you just say about my boat? It is my exclive right to bash it. Yes it's old and rusty and barely floating but that's fun

Exclusive you mean.
And where did I bash it? Don't bash my descriptions please, being described as offensive offends me.

[Veho Nex]

I was looking for a catchier song buuuuttt... This will do.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Cute Wolf]

Bought him a ticket to Indonesia, look for any dutch coorporation that just start opening a new factory here, and made your friend apply a job for field overseer duty... for some reason, european expat workers are always got their job here, no matter how terrible they are, because most will avoid working directly with the potentially most volatile worker's union in the world... (giving the background that he used drugs very muxh, I suspect that he'll have the nerve to take the challange!)

[Fragony]

Exclusive you mean.
And where did I bash it? Don't bash my descriptions please, being described as offensive offends me.

It's about what you didn't say, can't believe you don't understand

[Husar]

It's about what you didn't say, can't believe you don't understand

But what I didn't say I may not have said on purpose because it may not be what I meant!
That doesn't mean I do not understand!
I thought my first post made my position clear, the rest was just fluff in response to fluff, don't let that offend you, honey.

[Fragony]

I knew I would be asking too much when considering my position. I need an exit strategy.

[A Nerd]

How about a well placed ultimatum. Are their any state run or free rehabs there, similar to AA and such in the US? Does he have anything he holds dear, loved one's perhaps that you can ask for help from or appeal to him with that might make him move off your boat and onto some type of recovery to save himself? Perhaps you could just find another place for him to rot, for someday you might return to your boat and find him dead. He has to decide to help himself, otherwise he will never leave and you will have to 'help' him indefinately. I realise drug addiction is a nasty thing, but considering your situation, other than to pan him off to someone else, that seems to be the only option. In my opinion anyway.