...I'll go with mine.
!!Caution!! You're about to read ridiculous and stupid content. Be warned.
My issue is that I fell in love with a girl. That doesn't sound *that* crazy at first, but the thing is, I've never ever met that girl IRL.
Not only that, but :
- I met her on a MMORPG (WoW).
- She is 9 years older than me.
- She was (back when both of us were still playing) well known for dating/breaking up with WoW players on a regular basis.
- She is what one would describe a freak. She doesn't give a crap about most other people, can get mad at someone for the smallest offense and never forgive it, she is kind of into Goth/Emo culture (couldn't say for sure, she loves Tim Burton-ish kind of stuff, but doesn't dress as an emo or anything like that), and often acts as a teenager even though she's into her 30's. I suspect she had suicidal and fetishist tendencies as well.
- I met her more than 3 years ago.
One could think this is happening because I have a pretty boring sexual life. Frankly, that was the case when I met her (partly because of WoW, partly because of my studies), but not anymore. I'm not the "get a new girl every two days" kind of guy, but still, I've been having a pretty normal romantic/sexual life for the last two years (ie. had girlfriends, dates, one night stories and what not on a regular basis).
Yet, I keep thinking about her, no matter how hard I try. I've simply never met anyone with such a crazy behavior and attitude. The way she doesn't care about others' view and lives her life the way she wants to IMO makes her look like a character from a 19th century french novel.
In all honesty, I'm pretty sure I in fact idealized her, and that she's actually quite an annoying person who would turn me mad in a matter of seconds, but heh, I just can't help it. And in all honesty, I've always been attracted by crazy/weird people.
The only reasons I've never tried to meet her for real is that we've gotten mad at each other quite often (for absolutely pointless stuff, mostly), and that I feel like I'm totally not worth of her. I'm pretty sure I'd be so intimidated by her I'd turn again into the blank, boring, mumbling idiot I used to be.
So :
- Am I completely stupid ? Or is my behavior somewhat understandable though weird as hell ?
- Should I try to meet her, even if it is to be disapointed/disapointing ? Or should I just get rid of every trace of her presence in my life and walk my own way, hoping that the 'scar' will someday heal ?
I'm asking there because I know this forum is filled with freaks and people knowledgeable with the secret arcanums of loev and teh internet
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