Since everyone seems to explain his own personal drama...

[Meneldil]

...I'll go with mine.

!!Caution!! You're about to read ridiculous and stupid content. Be warned.

My issue is that I fell in love with a girl. That doesn't sound *that* crazy at first, but the thing is, I've never ever met that girl IRL.


Not only that, but :
- I met her on a MMORPG (WoW).
- She is 9 years older than me.
- She was (back when both of us were still playing) well known for dating/breaking up with WoW players on a regular basis.
- She is what one would describe a freak. She doesn't give a crap about most other people, can get mad at someone for the smallest offense and never forgive it, she is kind of into Goth/Emo culture (couldn't say for sure, she loves Tim Burton-ish kind of stuff, but doesn't dress as an emo or anything like that), and often acts as a teenager even though she's into her 30's. I suspect she had suicidal and fetishist tendencies as well.
- I met her more than 3 years ago.

One could think this is happening because I have a pretty boring sexual life. Frankly, that was the case when I met her (partly because of WoW, partly because of my studies), but not anymore. I'm not the "get a new girl every two days" kind of guy, but still, I've been having a pretty normal romantic/sexual life for the last two years (ie. had girlfriends, dates, one night stories and what not on a regular basis).

Yet, I keep thinking about her, no matter how hard I try. I've simply never met anyone with such a crazy behavior and attitude. The way she doesn't care about others' view and lives her life the way she wants to IMO makes her look like a character from a 19th century french novel.

In all honesty, I'm pretty sure I in fact idealized her, and that she's actually quite an annoying person who would turn me mad in a matter of seconds, but heh, I just can't help it. And in all honesty, I've always been attracted by crazy/weird people.

The only reasons I've never tried to meet her for real is that we've gotten mad at each other quite often (for absolutely pointless stuff, mostly), and that I feel like I'm totally not worth of her. I'm pretty sure I'd be so intimidated by her I'd turn again into the blank, boring, mumbling idiot I used to be.

So :
- Am I completely stupid ? Or is my behavior somewhat understandable though weird as hell ?
- Should I try to meet her, even if it is to be disapointed/disapointing ? Or should I just get rid of every trace of her presence in my life and walk my own way, hoping that the 'scar' will someday heal ?

I'm asking there because I know this forum is filled with freaks and people knowledgeable with the secret arcanums of loev and teh internet

[seireikhaan]

Just walk away, dude. Walk away.

Put WoW down. Go to a bar. Find the rawest looking gal there. And get it on(safely).

[a completely inoffensive name]

Make this into a poll.

1. yay?
2. nay?
3. gah!

[Beefy187]

Soon as you meet a new girl you'll forget about her.

Guys often have crush on certain girls for the strangest reasons. For instance, "she smiled at me", "She started talking to me when I never talked to her", "We did dancing class together"

If you think that fantasizing this WoW girl is strange and want to stop then get out in the real world and waltz into some random shop. You might find a girl who your strangely attracted to.

If you are confident that your making a right choice by fantasizing/eventually asking out this girl then by all means go for it.

[rasoforos]

...I'll go with mine.

a) can get mad at someone for the smallest offense and never forgive it

b) fetishist tendencies as well.

Ok we could sum it all up in 2 fragments of your post....

a) Paaaass. You dont wanna go through that.

b) Ok if you are into this sort of thing have an one night stand with her before you pass...it will get it out of your system...

[Maion Maroneios]

Man, just get over WoW. Really, I don't understand how emotionally attached people can get to MMORPGs. I met a girl once a few months ago from Oregon on the Internet, after boringly surfing and finding a rather funny teen chatzone. I mean, some guys there are sooo desperate. So I made fun of them and this girl came up and chatted with me for a while and stuff like that.

Well with this and that we exchanged MSN addresses and soon I found myself bombarded with messages from her and e-mails when I was off-line. Messages of the: "I miss you, I want to talk to you" like. I ended up loging into MSN in off-line state most of the time, to avoid talking to her. Well of the times we did talk, she begun opening her heart more and more, telling me personal stuff and the like.

That's all good and sound, I can live with this, but that's when the big bomb exploded. She said one phrace that was enough to make me block and delete her from my friendlist: "Umm, Tasos (my name), I'm... I'm rather horny right now...". Believe it or not, laugh as much as you want (I did, for one).

So just forget about her, don't go messing with people you've never seen or have such erratic behavior and unpredicted personalities.

Maion

[Ja'chyra]

Sounds like a recipe for success, go for it, what's the worst that could happen.





On second thoughts anyone who is in their 30's and plays WOW for, what seems like, the sole reason of picking up younger men isn't really someone worth the effort of putting on clothes and leaving the house for. You could stay at home naked but I definately wouldn't give her my address.

[Maion Maroneios]

You could stay at home naked but I definately wouldn't give her my address.

Maion

[tibilicus]

Just walk away, dude. Walk away.

Put WoW down. Go to a bar. Find the rawest looking gal there. And get it on(safely).

That's going to be the best advice in this thread. No matter how much it may seem worth pursuing this it really wont be. There's tons of other girls out there and ones which come with far less baggage or problems.

My general synopsis, if it seems to difficult to get around it generally isn't worth pursuing.

[pevergreen]

I echo tib and 'khaan. Get the WoW out.

The girl? what girl, just get rid of WoW.

Just think about other stuff.

[Fixiwee]

Don't forget - girls like to mess with the heads of Guys. I'm not sure if they do it on purpose, but that's simpoley something girls do.
So here is my advice, as stupid as advice over the internet can be: First; Listen to your own voice of reason. Second; If you fall down on your face, don't complain.
You either walk hard or you walk away. It's your choice. But don't do anything in the middle. Don't be soft.

I have walked that path too, being in desperate love with an incredible woman. I can barley share my expirience, what I have seen, where I have been. But I look back at it now and see all the good things that I have missed for a whole year. It wasn't worth it. Really.

[gollum]

Most peoples advice in this thread shows that they are in their (early) twenties like yourself - and what people in their early twenties dont realise about these things is that you ll keep thinking about her in the back of your mind till you are thirty or more if you disobey your intuition.

Get it on with her as fast as you can, by being your self and without worries about it - if you guys dont fit it will show and you ll walk away without ever thinking again that *she had that certain something*.

If it happens that you are made for each other you ll learn a lot about yourself through it, even if the relationship doesnt work in the long run. Older women are the best thing that can happen to young men no matter how wierd - my personal experience tells me - everything, including wookie is a totally different experience than with co-agists.

WoW or not, this kind of meeting can happen anywhere or from every situation - or not - i know people that spent all their college years - supposingly ideal for making up - without a single relationship.

The love game does not have any rules far less any universal rules other than one;

Listen to your heart.

!it burnsus!

[Kekvit Irae]

- I met her on a MMORPG (WoW).

I believe we have found the problem.

[drone]

I've known a few ladies like that, and I know the attraction, but too me it's just not worth it. You'll be spending too much of your own time trying to keep her happy, but she's probably wired so that conflict/unhappiness is her preferred state of mind, so you it's kind of pointless.

If you just want a little nookie, fine. Just go in to the "relationship" knowing that she is poison and keep distant. If she finds buttons to push, she will push them, and then you are in trouble. If you stay cool, she'll either get bored or maybe try to grow a little but..

[Husar]

Sounds like fun.

Well, you say you fell in love with her, did she say anything like that about you or does she just go to bed with everyone who asks?

[Lemur]

I had no idea WoW was such a hotbed of hooking-upping. Then again, I am old, married, and I steer clear of MMORPGs.

However, I do know all about dating psycho chicks, since I did a lot of that when I was young, right around the Peloponnesian War. Here's the deal with psycho girlfriends:

• She makes you feel wanted
• She makes you feel necessary
• She's wild and kinky in bed
• She's never boring

That's the good stuff. Now for the bad:

• She's out of her freakin' mind
• She will explode at you for reasons you cannot comprehend
• Her drama will gradually take over your life
• Keeping up with her mood swings will be energy- and time-consuming

Bottom line: Try to break yourself from the psycho girlfriend habit. It's not easy, I know, but I think some of the posters in this thread have some helpful steps. Not looking for love on WoW sounds like a great idea, for starters. Also, isolating why exactly it is you like bat-guano-crazy girls might be a worthwhile investigation.

Good luck!

[tibilicus]

[*]Keeping up with her mood swings will be energy- and time-consuming

possibly the worst out of the list. The relationships where your constantly wondering what you've done wrong only to get the reply when you ask them what's up as "nothing" or "it doesn't matter".

Trust me if this relationship seems like hard work now it really isn't worth it. It's only going to get harder as time goes by and your just going to come out of it feeling worse than when you went in. Yes all relationships need work but if it feels like a chore before your even in the proper relationship stage no amount of love can fix that.

If their egocentric now then just keep well clear. Maybe you dig girls like that I know some people do but my experience is don't walk on hot coals until you know just how hot they are.

[Strike For The South]

Get some but invest no emotion.

[edyzmedieval]

Man, just get over WoW. Really, I don't understand how emotionally attached people can get to MMORPGs. I met a girl once a few months ago from Oregon on the Internet, after boringly surfing and finding a rather funny teen chatzone. I mean, some guys there are sooo desperate. So I made fun of them and this girl came up and chatted with me for a while and stuff like that.

Well with this and that we exchanged MSN addresses and soon I found myself bombarded with messages from her and e-mails when I was off-line. Messages of the: "I miss you, I want to talk to you" like. I ended up loging into MSN in off-line state most of the time, to avoid talking to her. Well of the times we did talk, she begun opening her heart more and more, telling me personal stuff and the like.

That's all good and sound, I can live with this, but that's when the big bomb exploded. She said one phrace that was enough to make me block and delete her from my friendlist: "Umm, Tasos (my name), I'm... I'm rather horny right now...". Believe it or not, laugh as much as you want (I did, for one).

So just forget about her, don't go messing with people you've never seen or have such erratic behavior and unpredicted personalities.

Maion

Dude, you refused free MSN stimulation? Come on man, a cute conversation now and then won't hurt...

[Ramses II CP]

Okay, as someone who finds damaged women appealing let me just give you two bits of advice:

1. Don't fight it. You're going to want what you want, trying to change it at the source is just going to make it worse. As a poet once said, 'The heart will bear no tether.' The harder you pull back the tighter that knot is going to get until you're drawn in like a black hole. So if you want it, go after it before your silly Romeo restraint makes you even crazier in love/lust/crush/whatever.

2. (And this only works if you're not fighting) Keep a clear head! The crushing current of her messed up life will swallow you in a hurry if you don't keep bobbing your head above water. By dosing yourself, indulging your crush bit by bit you'll find at least some moments to take a breath and realize just how deep the hole might go. Sometimes you need to let yourself be pulled along a little way before you can pause and really assess those little comments like 'When my ex introduced me to heroin..." or so forth.

This has seriously worked pretty well for me. I'm happily married... but I have a chain of *&@^ed up female friends whose lives I've found a stable place in to indulge what I think of as my dumb dude hero complex.

You cannot 'fix' people. Cannot. Especially not women. IMHO it's really not about them anyway, at least not so much as it is about you and your desire to see yourself as a part of their lives. So if you ever find yourself thinking "I could totally save this chick from porn," get the heck out! Women don't want to be saved any more than they want to be worshipped.

My 2 cents.

[Meneldil]

A few things people seem to miss, or to have misunderstood :

- I stoped WoW (and video games altogether) a while ago. So did she. We've kept in touch through MSN, Skype and the occasional phone call.
- She did not play WoW just for the sake of dating random younger players. She was actually (for what it's worth) a very good player, who just happened to be quite attractive (as far as you can be on a video game).
- You can't even imagine how much behind-the-scene dating/sex is involved in WoW (and I guess other MMO's). I'm fairly sure it's the sole reason for some people to play the game.
- I'm not trying to "find love on WoW" or anything like that. I have little respect for sex-hungry teenagers pretending to be hot on the net because they can't get laid IRL, or for old farts trying to cheat on their wife by playing it cool in a video game. Back when I was playing/spending a crapload of time on the net, I got a lot of offers, sometimes from girls actually in relationship, and I always turned them down, simply because it seemed awkward.
- I'm not one of said sex-hungry teenager being crazy about the first girl who shown some attention to him. I'm currently in a relationship, and think I'm overall quite attractive to girls. It's not a "as soon as you'll meet someone else, you'll forget her" situation. I met quite a lot of girls in these two years, some of them being awesome in every departement, and I still haven't forgotten her.



As for why I like bat-guano-crazy girls, I can't explain it. Despite being somewhat of a freak, I've actually never dated a crazy girl, which might explain why I feel attracted by this one.
I've only dated nice but somewhat boring girls, so I guess freaks might actually entertain me somehow.

Despite a majority of people telling me to walk my way (that's not what I was expecting actually), I'm probably going to follow Gollum's advice. There's a 99% nothing good will come out of it, but that's still better than a 100% chance of having my brain thinking she's awesome and making me a sad panda.

[tibilicus]

Well it's your call. If you think that's the right thing to do then go for it. I hope you genuinely have sat down though and thought it through.

I still find it odd how you say a lot of this stuff goes in in an MMORPG. I don't understand how people can get pulled into it. With out being all soppy I would just personally prefer to say to people I met the girl of my dreams in a bar or something rather than I met your mother on WoW and 2 years later you were born. Would just sort of take the edge of it a little for me.

[Maion Maroneios]

Dude, you refused free MSN stimulation? Come on man, a cute conversation now and then won't hurt...

Ha, believe me sir when I tell you that I prefer (equally free) RL stimulation over Internet one any day But that's just me.

Maion

[Thermal]

You should pass, you don't know what you might catch If she's as deranged as you say then you'd never have a steady relationship, and it wouldn't last by the sounds of it. Please remember that 14 year olds know these type of things

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Fixiwee]

There's a 99% nothing good will come out of it, but that's still better than a 100% chance of having my brain thinking she's awesome and making me a sad panda.

Well why did you ask for it then?

Mark my words. Don't complain if you fall on your face. It happend to a lot of people and afterwards its reaaaal easy to be smart.

[Meneldil]

Well it's your call. If you think that's the right thing to do then go for it. I hope you genuinely have sat down though and thought it through.

I still find it odd how you say a lot of this stuff goes in in an MMORPG. I don't understand how people can get pulled into it. With out being all soppy I would just personally prefer to say to people I met the girl of my dreams in a bar or something rather than I met your mother on WoW and 2 years later you were born. Would just sort of take the edge of it a little for me.

Well, actually, it's not that odd if you take into account that :

- many people play WoW for about 20 or more hours a week
- WoW feels like a job if you're really into it (I have to log on at 8PM to raid)
- there's a strong social factor (you can't do anything alone basically)
- many people here are actually craving for a relationship and/or sex. Even though the cliché "MMO = nerds only" couldn't be more wrong, there's still a lot of people who have little to no social life outside of the game.

Basically, at some point, WoW becomes no different from your work place/school. You play not really because you want to, but because you have to for numerous reasons, and you start to make 'friends', some of them being pretty close.

I'm not going to expand more on this, because I've seen so much things going on there back then I could probably write a book.

Well why did you ask for it then?

My mind was set before I asked. I just wanted to know what would be the general consensus on that whole thing. And I expected people to actually advise me to give it a shot, which would have been kind of a moral support :-P

[Beefy187]

Well you seems to have crossed the Rubicon. I suggest you just keep running

I actually don't mind the concept of MMO. I can get on Runescape and spend countless hours. But I have ceased because Java doesnt work I just can't stop playing it once I started playing it. And I thought its quite harsh.. I got scammed so many times.. Even though I was being nice to everyone by crafting gems for free bad to let my self live in imaginary world. (Although I kinda live on the Org and Facebook now days..)

[Fixiwee]

My mind was set before I asked. I just wanted to know what would be the general consensus on that whole thing. And I expected people to actually advise me to give it a shot, which would have been kind of a moral support :-P

Then there is nothing reasonable to say anymore besides "good luck".

[Megas Methuselah]

Heh heh. Keep us posted, eh?

[gollum]

*Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Far away already, the sea has ebbed
And you
Like seaweed slowly carressed by the wind
In the sands of the bed you stir, dreaming
Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Far away already, the sea has ebbed
But in your half-opened eyes
Two small waves have remained
Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Two small waves to drown me*

Jacques Prevert

!it burnsus!