I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

[Proletariat]

I have 93 dollars cash in my pocket, and I want to buy a barrel of oil.

Please direct me to the closest oil barrel store so I can make my purchase.

Thanks

[Strike For The South]

You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.

[Mikeus Caesar]

You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.

I have AU$53.15. If i go to an ATM i can easily make that $103.15, or $153.15. Now tell me where we can buy a barrel of oil, damn you.

[Ice]

www.zecco.com
www.etrade.com
www.scottrade.com

I could go on... you get the point

[KukriKhan]

I have 93 dollars cash in my pocket, and I want to buy a barrel of oil.

Please direct me to the closest oil barrel store so I can make my purchase.

Thanks

Hop into your li'l putt-putt and hie y'self to Pennsylvania (the closest oil barrel store). $93 might buy the contents - today, but the barrel itself may cost you upwards of $650, presuming you desire the classic 42-gallon wooden whiskey barrel of oil. Or perhaps you have your own container?

Or maybe you meant olive oil, or whale oil... a whole 'nuther kettle o'fish. As it were. So to speak.

Additionally, UPS would probably deliver said barrel-full of oil right to your front door for a slight surcharge, plus they'd probably try to talk you into buying a full 55 gallon steel drum-full, which might put you over budget.

I do wonder: what's a nice girl like you doing with pockets, anyway? And ones with cash, no less? Maybe I could interest you in a small share of a tiny stock in a mortgage default swap fund. Just use your paypal account and send funds to yourcongresscritter@usgov.gov

It's patriotic, yanno.

:)<----obligatory smilie

[Gregoshi]

You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.

Let's not get crude.

[Big_John]

Let's not get crude.

a refined joke!

[Gregoshi]

a refined joke!

Which yielded a funnier byproduct.

[Martok]

a refined joke!

Wow, someone out-punned the Punmaster. I am in awe.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Wow, someone out-punned the Punmaster. I am in awe.

I thought it a little crude, myself.

[Gregoshi]

I thought it a little crude, myself.

A refined joke!

BG has Lemur's Disease. How sad. I just outright stole Big John's pun for the deja vu laugh. Oh, the shame...

[Banquo's Ghost]

BG has Lemur's Disease. How sad.

Arrgh.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Arrgh.

Come on, no need to be completely petrified at a little Lemur's disease. This thread is still a barrel of laughs.

[Lemur]

I don't see why people get so bummed about Lemur's Disease. It's quite treatable. As diseases go, it's chronic as opposed to terminal. Think of it as a benign form of Herpes.

[Gregoshi]

This thread is still a barrel of laughs.

Yes, it's hysderrickle.

[Big_John]

the flow of this thread has seriously tanked. creative wells have run dry.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Yes, some people need to get crackin' on better puns.

CR

[Gregoshi]

Yes, some people need to get crackin' on better puns.

CR

We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.

[pevergreen]

goan

[Crazed Rabbit]

We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.

Too bad it's got such sour results.

CR
(EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)

[Big_John]

(EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)

sweet.

[Koga No Goshi]

We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.

They're still trading them in USD?

[Gregoshi]

(EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)

No problem - if the shoe fits...

[Proletariat]

You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.

I most certainly do. If you're just jealous of my riches let me know, if you can scrape up 46.5, I'll go havsies with you on our own barrel of oil, with an option to buy my half on a generous payment plan.

I didn't know about the barrel, Kukri. Thanks for pointing this out.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks to everyone for salvaging what I thought would be a hilarious thread, and then lost heart and gave up on it and hoped no one would read. Sometimes it takes some very deep digging to pump the funny from a thread but it's turned out that oil's well.

[Reverend Joe]

**** puns. The entire world's economy sucks. So let's get drunk and stay that way until it solves itself or we die. Either way, problem solved.

[Gregoshi]

Cue the musical pun... (click on the barrel)

[KarlXII]

*walks on stage* Ahem.

*thinks of oil pun*
Err....
Uhm...
Damn....

Why is my mind so polluted with this?

No? Not even a dum dum tish? Alright. *creeps off stage*

[Strike For The South]

I most certainly do. If you're just jealous of my riches let me know, if you can scrape up 46.5, I'll go havsies with you on our own barrel of oil, with an option to buy my half on a generous payment plan.

I didn't know about the barrel, Kukri. Thanks for pointing this out.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks to everyone for salvaging what I thought would be a hilarious thread, and then lost heart and gave up on it and hoped no one would read. Sometimes it takes some very deep digging to pump the funny from a thread but it's turned out that oil's well.

I have merley 2 pence

[Gregoshi]

I have merley 2 pence

Hopefully, the price of oil drops...