Exactly how bad are you?

[Portuguese Rebel]

We all have seen threads that state something like i rule in this game or i own this game or the lastest im a HARDCORE player.

Well now its time do the opposite. Admit and tell here your worst defeat/s.

Mine was right in the beguining when i got the game. As a shogun vet i plunged right in the fray... never touched the manual at all. I had built a fair amount of peasants wich i thought were the equivalents of yari ashigarus (for those who don't know, these guys were good against most cavalry). So with my peasants ready and a bunch of archers i atacked the spanish. In the meantime i did not payed attention to vices (these weren't in shogun) and the general had a coward vice (big moral penalty). And there i went... ready as hell (so i thought) for my first MTW battle...

the spanish had a bunch of jinetes and i thought no biggy, my ashigarus will cream them since i have 2 to 1 in unit numbers.

The jinetes started skirmishing and then resorted to melee, at wich point i was glad: Ahaha now you are mine. then i saw my peasants get munched bad and the red flags started showing up.

what the hell... then my peasants all routed and the archers followed pronto... those jinetes chased and killed some 500 peasants and i got some lousy 14 jinetes.

My first thought after that disaster: where did i put the manual...

Don't let me expose my shame alone

Share your shame with the community and you will feel better

[Monk]

Constantinople in about 1203, my HRE was vast and endless. many a foe had been crushed under the Might of my armies untill i came into contact with the Byzantine empire, their Infantry and asorted calvary managed to take apart my troops at every turn untill i sailed my vets in from egypt. i outnumbered the Byzantine force atleast 2 to 1 and thought no problem, my guys are battle vets (high valor) and i can crush them.

however little did i realize that that the Byz force was just as good and skilled. the end result wasnt pretty, over 1000 dead and 200 captured all because i underestimated the Varangian guards. the Byz soon counter attacked causing the eastern half of my empire to either fall to their hands or rise up in rebellion, shorlty afterward the mongols arrived and plowed through the novgorods and the rebels, but they would not stop untill they had half of my northern empire. about 2 years later the english and french (both of whome i had defeated in the past) reapeared and crushed my inexperianced troops in the west taking that potion of the empire. needless to say that one single defeat in constantinople caused a chain reaction that destroyed my empire... by the time the dust cleared in 1243 i only held North africa and my King was a star 1 (the youngest son who escaped the carnage)

[Portuguese Rebel]

Quote[/b] ]about 2 years later the english and french (both of whome i had defeated in the past) reapeared and crushed my inexperianced troops in the west taking that potion of the empire. needless to say that one single defeat in constantinople caused a chain reaction that destroyed my empire...

You got to love it...hehehe

[Odinn]

I'm so bad that my army on 1,000 men can flee from 100 enemies.

[FesterShinetop]

Well... there are too many I'm afraid... I am not very good so I am used to huge armies fleeing the battlefield; my own armies that is...

[hrvojej]

Can't really say what was the single worst defeat, but a couple of days ago I had what must have been the worst turn so far. I'm Egypt, fighting Almohads in Valencia and Mongols in Volhynia. Both are their last stands.
First one is Almos. I attack with my crack troops who have beaten both Almohads and Spanish, lead by a 9-star, all units valuor 6 and similar, and khalifah has 2-stars. With fair amount of confidence, I start the battle. It turns out to be one of those hilly maps that have a net of small woods all over them. Well, it turned out that Almohad army were also crack troops, who although beaten, kept on gaining valour, veterans were combined with veterans, etc., and to my surprise they charge just before I managed to establish a line. The battle breaks into several small ones, each centered around one unit of AUM, and they apparently drift towards the woods, where the militiamen cheerfully slaughter my cavalry and muwahids. In short, my general fought t death against a valour 6 AUM, and when he died, everything went to hell. Crack army one obliterated.
After that, the Mongols. I'm also fielding a crack army that defeated them when they first appeared while being outnumbered 4:1, conquered the steppes, and driven them into a corner. My other 9-star general is leading them, and khan has 4 stars. First wave goes smoothly, they don't have many cavalry left, yet princes and khan manage to kill a fair share before they go down. All that remains are several units of mongol foot warriors in one forest. I surround the forest, attack from all sides with ghazis, abyssinians, arab infantry, followed by everything else I had. Attacked from all sides, outnumbered and without a general (they are disciplined, but still), they manage to rout my entire army save the general, who was in turn exhausted and couldn't get out of the woods in time. He dies, the remnants of a once-proud army flee for their lives, the day is lost.
So, in a single turn, I've lost both of my 9-star generals, my most trusted veteran armies, and a fair share of pride. Luckily I was Egypt, in other words rolling in cash, so that didn't hurt me as much as it could. Almohads were slaughtered two turns later, and the Mongol rebels bribed, but at that point I was just sitting there for several minutes trying to get a grasp on what just happened.

[Mamushi]

Well, it all started when I put the disk in the drive.....actually,my force of Royal bodyguards,having been beaten up fairly badly,encountered a fresh group of peasants, they actually routed my RB's ,they ran back thru my Huscarls,and well the chain reaction was ugly to behold,I did not think that many troops could haul a$$ off the field at once...just glad I am not the only one...

[swifticus]

How to Begin?
My first multiplayer game on line, I chose a German army picked my troops with care gave them the best weapons and armour a man can

3 v 3 me gallantly advancing on the left flank my allies urging their troops on, we are charging in.. wots this my brave germans slow then stop and then ROUT before making contact with the enemy lol

My allies seeing the left flank rout promptly do the same GAME OVER

I later learnt tha valour is quite useful to buy

[The_Emperor]

My greatest defeat was at the hands of the Byzantine Empire as the Almohads.

They attacked my full stack army with a 9 star Expert attacker general... and all i had was a piddly little 4 star in command of 900 men.

My army was routed with ease and soon I was pushed back along north Africa. Man they were tough

[Old Bald Guy]

Way too many times to remember. Once, I was firmly emplaced on a hill, CMAAs and FMAAs, arbs and pavs, rock solid defense, right? Not to the GH cavalry. They rolled me up like a cheap Persian rug. I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging open as the entire row of icons waved white flags, peeing their armor and screaming like little girls as they fled. The only GH troops to die were the ones who fell off their horses from laughing too hard to ride. The closing screen was incredible. The only thing keeping the whole rank from displaying minuses for valor was the AI felt sorry for me.

My current GA game as Spain, I didn't realize losing Crusades cost so much in influence, piety and loyalty. I thought I'd send them against the Almos, then the Egyptians, and let those guys fight my way across Africa. Wrong I got a Civil War, and before I could even get back all the provinces which had turned rebel, I got hit with ANOTHER civil war, and all was lost.

Man, I suck. I haven't even got the excuse I didn't read the manual. I just plain suck. You'd think I was trained at the Iraqui West Point. My dog won't watch me play. My cat looks upon me in disgust. My wife thought she married Schwarzkopf and instead got DUMBKOPF. I'm more pathetic than a former Massachusetts governor running for President driving around a field in a tank. It's sad.

What a lousy topic. I hope you're happy, man.

[Balamir]

hhehe nice topic, really. To be honest, I didnt take very serious losses on the campaign mode. Maybe because I didnt try hard difficulty. I even started tearing out my hair if my ratio is worse than 2:1 . Anyways, I guess my worst battering was on multiplayer. I didnt have a good start on mp. If I remember correctly my first victory was in my 9th game. Another 8 losses or something after that victory too . Still those werent so frustrating.I really had lots of losses, but cant really remember many. For eg. I had a defeat of 211 kills and 900+ losses. One time a turkish army consisting of 10 units that can both shoot and fight killed me. I dont think I managed to get three digits on that one


Apart from the fact that I changed my name for 6-7 times, I was a stable member of the multiplayer. Too bad its empty now.

[Erik Blackbeard]

In my first game I decided to rule the mighty HRE. After a while of playing I chose to take those mangy Danes and make them part of my glorious empire. I marched 1500 units (mostly urban militia and spearmen) to Denmark. Battle begun and I found myself fighting 600 vikings and 80 Royal Knights that charged from uphill. Vikings slaughtered most of my spearmen 'couse i didn't react fast enough and Knights were able to flank my Militia. needless to say I lost. I totally underestimated those vikings...

[DemonArchangel]

My worst defeat....

I was the Russians and my opponent was the Golden. The map was a desert map. I had an army of primarily Steppe Cavalry, Steppe Heavy Cavalry, Druzhinas and Boyars. Well, unfortunately, i had too many cavalry that couldn't catch up with the mongol horse archers, and the Mongol Heavy Cavalry ripped apart my steppe cavalry, before hitting me in the flanks and back, while the mongol horse archers darted back and forth, discharging volleys of arrows that ripped my men to pieces. My army actually held and routed some of their units, but then, their reinforcements came and it was all over.

[Pablo Sanchez]

No offense to anyone involved, but this thread makes me feel better because it turns out I'm merely average at MTW (instead of awful ).

The worst mistake I ever made was probably the game as the Almohads when I took Spain and France and thought, hey, the HRE can't be that tough. Little did I know that the Germans controlled the entire Eastern Half of the map. I should have guessed when there were only three nations on the bottom of the screen during the computer move phase (HRE, Egyptians with only Egypt, English) That was the game when I learned the importance of a good network of spies and trade ships the hard way

[insolent1]

I must have had to much to drink last night becuase to day when I was defending Moldavia as the Turks against the Bavarians(interregnum mod witha few changes). I had about 800 men v there 3000+. My generals unit was a 10 valour JHI with +3 to weapon & armour, I also had 4 demi cannons which i had been using to lower enemy morale. In my hungover state i placed my generals units slightly in front of one of teh demi cannons........hhhmmm my generals under fire....hold on hes dead along with 20 men of his unit. I had to laugh the demi cannon exploded killing my general & a lot of his irreplaceable unit

[ichi]

I am the center of a 3v3. Real slugfest. Several minutes into the fight, my allies shore up my flanks, the enemy is fully engaged.

Only the Generals sit back, watching from a few meters away.

Many units are at half strength or less, a few starting to waver.

I decide the redirect my pavs to a thick patch of knights. Select the pavs (or so I thought) and direct them to fire at a Chiv Knight unit.

Except that I have selected all of my units by accident. Confused, all of my men try to do as I have ordered, and when they turn to attack the group of knights they are slaughtered by the units they have been fighting, causing immediate mass rout, chain routing my allies.

D'oh

ichi

[Brutal DLX]

Oh boy, such a misclick in MP is deadly...
(in SP you could hit Pause )

I remember way back fighting the Almohads once in Aragon I think, as the French. I thought I had it under control, because other than their AUM they had inferior troops, but after the battle was joined, my flanking cavalry lost to theirs, to my great amazement, and once their cav go behind my lines the rout was inevitable.
I should have won that battle as my cav was superior, but only after the battle I found that the enemy general was 9 stars, and mine just 2. That's when I fully realised the importance of good generals.

[Magraev]

Honestly I run from battles I'm not fairly confident about. I don't play at the highest difficulty levels so I'm usually more concerned with keeping casualties down than with if I win or lose.

I had an embarrasment early as the turks recently, when I was invaded by a byz force led by a 2-star generals byz infantry. In the battle the byz inf blazed ahead of his other troops, and I saw the opportunity to rout him, so I charged with 2 urban militia and a gazi only to have them all rout after heavy losses - giving very few losses themselves. I was thrown off the map and only after the battle I learned that the byz general had a killer instinct, was proud and was a great warrior. That one unit singlehandedly defeated 300 of my proud turks - his other units never made it to the battle

One of the disadvantages of having reverted to 1.1 - I can't see the enemy troops valor before the battle.

[frogbeastegg]

Experiences of a Shogun vet: or how MTW is not the same as shoggy even if it is in the same series.

Running home from EB at 9:30 am on the day of release clutching a copy of MTW in my hands I had no idea what lay in wait. After installing and skimming through the manual I selected the English, why not play as the home team I thought. Longbowmen, bill men and knights, just perfect. I reached the campaign map screen. Bribe the Welsh rebels, then the Scots, after that kill the French and tech up. A campaign strategy that would see me through the first few years with no problem (or so I thought)After all this game can't be so different to shogun that using your old tactics will get you killed, right?

The welsh get bribed easily, followed by the Scots. No need for all these small armies all over the place I cried quickly bundling them together and sending them to Flanders. I start to build up my infrastructure thinking that it won't take too long to reach the good units. I click end turn and what happens? Rebellions in Scotland, Wales and Northumbria that's what. Not good I think, why did that happen, it's not like you need to garrison safe provinces is it? Still my invasion of Flanders went OK but what's this? the Pope says I'm excommunicated? Ah so what, it can't be that important can it?

My king and his reserves crush the Welsh and Northumbrian rebels and my army is still hanging on to Flanders. Its been about 15 years and I'm wondering why everything is so slow to build. I'm still using basic units, where are all the knights? To make matters worse I'm beginning to run low on cash. The best way to quick fix cash flow problems is to conquer a rich province nearby so I bung together an army of spearmen and archers and march on Ile de France. This time I fight the battle myself instead of auto resolving.

The archers open fire and I expect heavy enemy casualties. Barely a scratch. Very puzzling. So I send in the spearmen expecting a reasonable performance out of them, after all they are just Yari samurai by a different name right? Err no not really. Despite having the terrain advantage and following Sun Tzu's wisdom I got pasted by a handful of these new fangled men at arms units and a solitary royal cavalry. Strange I think again as I watch my men run like mice chased by a particularly nasty cat, there's something wrong here.

Back at the main map I get a message telling me that Spain has launched a crusade at me. What? I'm not a Muslim they can't do that surely Famous last words. The Spanish crusade smashed my armies on the continent (why? spearmen are good against cavalry and anyway whats with all these weird crusader units, where did they come from?) Rebellion once again erupts across my British holdings as I withdraw all my men to Wessex to make one giant army lead by my king (why are they rebelling? I've go border forts, it can't be that I need a garrison permanently)

Looking at my king he has this list of Vices and virtues and one of them is 'good runner'. Odd I think, it must add to his speed or something. I'm sure you can guess what happened when the crusade hit my last army. Yep everyone ran without even fighting. Game over.

So I read the manual again in depth and tried a custom battle. The large number of units to choose from is over whelming and I found that everything was different to Shogun.
Archers couldn't hit a barn broadside on.
Spearmen can't fight for anything.
Swordsmen are odd,they don't seem to be like warriormonks.
Knights are less than impressive.
Light cavalry=what?
horse archers are still in need of baby sitting
gunpowder is crap, what in heck happened?
Peasants, didn't they used to be helpful?
Whats the point of polearms?
Whats with all this disciplined and elite stuff?

The next day I went and bought the strategy guide, read it twice and never looked back. Its been ages since I lost a battle and I'm now handing out advice to people. My face when I first played went something like this:

Now its like this :


I anticipate a similar experience with Rome:TW

[Balamir]

Ehehe an entertaining post really. Mostly the face change thing . What I found out was SP fights is nothing, but nothing, , in the MP. I was like hehhe let them get kicked on their arses, come on bring it on hiaarrggg and after a few battles hey what the ....?? but really, its multiplayer where real strategy is counted because both armies have the opportunity to develop on the same resources. Same amount of florins, unlike the SP where always one army is the poor low resourced hero and the other is the rich bastard. I really learned a lot from the multiplayer and now singleplayer battles dont satisfy me at all. Watch for me on Rome babe


j/k

[Mount Suribachi]

lol, thats a great post frog.

2 Situations spring to mind for me.

My 1st campaign in VI,the saxons attack me, the Mercians. The 1st battle I come up against an army of Saxon Huscarles, which I hadn't bothered developing yet...I got slaughtered big style. Eventually I managed to reverse the Saxon tide, but it took several defeats and lots of bloody victories.

The other one is in my current Almohad campaign, I launched an attack on Ireland with a 4 star General and 500 Ghulam Cav, Ghazis, Nubian spearmen against 400 Gallowglass and Kerns. Hehe, lambs to the sluaghter I'm thinking. As I close with the Irish, a javelin kills my general. Suddenly all my units start wavering and then the Gallowglass crash into my units...it took about 5 seconds before the rout set in. Only 100 men made it back to their ships alive. I was not a happy Caliph at my mens cowardly performance


Still, its good to have your butt whipped by the AI every now and then

[Satyr]

Very entertaining reading.

My first VI battle also. I am playing as the Scots (couldn't wait to play as the old alma mater) and I have about 800 troops, mostly celtic warriors and spears and 2 companies of archers. The Vikings invade I see 260 men with a couple units of Berserkers. Ah, I have seen their like before, they must be like Hashinin, I don't need to worry. Well, the Berserkers single handedly slaughter my Celtic Warriors and only lose 7 men. Meanwhile I send my spears over to flank but the Berserkers run out of the pile and take off after my archers. I think, cool, they will get skirmished to death. NO The little stinkers chase down my archers and slaughter both companies in a few minutes. Meanwhile, those stupid Carls have killed the rest of my troops. Time to do some research or play as the Vikings myself.

[Portuguese Rebel]

Quote[/b] ]Looking at my king he has this list of Vices and virtues and one of them is 'good runner'. Odd I think, it must add to his speed or something.

It actually makes sense...

[frogbeastegg]

Thank you, my adoring fans

My worst experience in VI is quite similar to Mary's. Two units of Viking huscarles invade my province so I send my Mercian army of over 800 to fight them. Easy I think. I think I'll just leave it at 1 mixed army of spears, archers and cavalry + 1 small group of Viking huscarles = total slaughter of my army. Why did I think that several years of Total war experience combined with a numerical advantage of over 5-1 would be enough to win?

After this I defected to the Vikings and have completed two campaigns. They are definitely my favourite faction in VI.

Apart from this VI has been quite tame. My introduction to shogun at launch in 2000, now that's a funny story......(if you want to know ask, I don't want to bore people)

[Crash]

Why do I take along a unit of arbalesters whom I always order to shoot at the enemy general? The AI taught me that, but not on purpose.

The first time I met an enemy with arbalesters, my plan was to lure their army into a trap, using my general as bait. Remember Dances With Wolves when Kevin Costner charges the Confederate army singlehanded, and escapes scott free? Well, I figured my general on horseback could run up to the enemy line and run away, and lead them into my trap. He had good armor so I wasn't worried about archers.

You can guess what happened - the arbalesters killed my 5 star general on their first volley. Aaagh The enemy charged, and my army routed, end of battle.

But since then I've killed several generals and monarchs with arbalesters. Pavise arbalesters are great for turning the tide of battle by mowing down the opponents elite units and generals.

[Satyr]

Come on frosty, be a good egg, not a beastly one, and tell us all about your shogun beginnings. As I have recently acquired Shogun I would like to know what sorts of things to 'not do'.

[NinjaX]

lol i got totally slaughterd the first time i played mtw, like 10 battles in a row, didnt have any cash, bad units, bad valor, rebellions, you name it

[Brutal DLX]

Quote[/b] (Mary, Queen of Scots @ June 23 2003,23:58)]Come on frosty, be a good egg, not a beastly one, and tell us all about your shogun beginnings. As I have recently acquired Shogun I would like to know what sorts of things to 'not do'.

Not frosty, but I've played Shogun too, so:
Don't do the frontal banzai charge with cav or anything into a phalanx of musketeers. Gunpowder units are deadly in Shogun, but luckily they don't appear early on. Aside of that there's less units so it's very easy to find out what a unit is good or bad against. And Samurai archers are lethal.
On the campaign map, always try to get a secure single front line, as there's almost never any naval invasion (need port and strategic agent in destination province to invade).
Oh, and never, I repeat never, trust anybody. Alliances can turn to bitter rivalries within one season.

[antek]

worst defeat (I don't think anyone could win that ) - Mongol Invasion, my Daimyo (11 men) protecting the last province against about 900 bloodthirsty Mongols. lol

[frogbeastegg]

Frogbeastegg: An epic tale of a young frogs quest for glory and knowledge.

Many years ago in the land of strange weather a young frog was seeking to become a master of strategy. The frog had studied under many masters including the master Alpha Centari and at the famous school of Age of Empires. But none of these masters could satisfy frogs desire for knowledge. As the frog wandered once again in search of a master she met a strange man under a tree. Upon asking his name she was told

I am battle trainer. A demo of the great school of Shogun: Total War. I can teach you what you wish to know.

The young frog was curious and asked what the school of shogun was like as she had never heard of it before.

It is a new school introduced by a mysterious stranger who is only known as CA. CA has created new teachings the like of which has never been seen upon this earth. Shogun teaches real time battles combined with turn based strategy, complete control of every aspect of your clan, hundreds of units battling at once using realistic principles based on the legendary Sun Tzu.

This greatly interested the young frog and she asked to become a student of Shogun. Battle trainer replied thusly

To become a student of shogun is not an easy task. You will learn to do things you thought impossible. You must learn to understand the land, the weather, ancient samurai equipment and practise. You will learn to understand a soldiers heart. But there is a price - once you enter the school there is no going back. All other schools of strategy will seem as mud beneath your feet, you will only play Total War games.

The frog thought this sounded strange but she was still determined to enter the school. In her first lessons with master Battle Trainer young frog learned that height is the most valuable feature of any battlefield. She learned that archers could both shoot and enter melee combat by use of the 'ALT' key. She learned to understand her men's feelings and physical state. The final and hardest lesson was to understand a small skirmish between two identical and evenly matched armies. In this challenge the frog manoeuvred her spears to meet the enemy cavalry, her archers to shoot the enemy spears and her cavalry to destroy the opposing archers. The victory was great and the young frog could not wait to learn more. But master Battle Trainer said

No more can I teach you for this is the limit of my programming. To learn more you must study under my master the great Full Game.

And so the young frog set out to the great EB in town and there purchased the Shogun Total War and got the Prima strategy guide free. Well it was the day of release and therefore a matter of great rejoicing. After reading the books her new master presented her with frog began learning the Way of Shogun. And it was not easy.

The great master began with the same lessons that his disciple had and once again the frog completed them. The over confidant frog them requested to try the full campaign game as her battle knowledge was great. The master considered this for many minutes before agreeing that she had much to learn that only the campaign could teach. This is how the first true lesson began: the lesson of Hojo.

Frog chose clan Hojo for her first game as they were purple and had the Triforce as their logo (the frog was deeply in love with Zelda: Ocarina of Time which she still calls the best game ever today). Frog surveyed her domains and ordered that construction begin on castles in all provinces. New units of archers were added to the build list and the frog was well pleased as she clicked 'end turn'. Frog them watched in horror as the Takeda invaded Musashi (But that's a rush attack, how cheap the frog was heard to cry). As the battle began the frog lined up her archers on her side of the bridge and waited. The enemy came in force with much cavalry and charged the bridge. While the archers shot bravely and the single unit of spearmen charged the enemy continued to forge ahead until the frogs army shattered and fled like children. Frog was heard to say

Samurai Not likely. Cowards Get back here before I kill the lot of you. What happened to dieing gloriously in battle, don't the samurai say death before dishonour.

At this point master Full Game stepped in and said

It is worthless to die in a pointless battle. Victory must be provided by the general before the men will commit to dieing on the field. When victory is invisible even the best samurai does not consider it a dishonour to run. Therefore make sure that you have the correct numbers and types of troops in each army to handle all opponents and situations. When the men see that they can win they will fight much harder. When they are out numbered two to one they become worried with a penalty to morale.

And so the young frog tried to continue with the campaign but found that money was gained only one out of four turns and only one army/building could be constructed at a time in a province. And this puzzled the frog as all other schools of strategy gave you money at each turn. The master explained

Wealth is measured in koku, the amount of rice needed to feed a man for one year. Rice comes only with the autumn harvest. In other schools a single peasant may build a mighty castle in only minutes but in our school thousands of peasants will labour for four seasons to produce a castle. This is the way of Realism.

And so the young frog gave up on the campaign and returned to the custom battle. She devoted herself to learning as much as she could of this one aspect of Total War. The work took many weeks and the frog learned much. There was much more to unit relationships than spears beat cavalry beat archers beat spears. Warrior monks would beat anything else in hand to hand but were vulnerable to missiles. No Datchi were cheaper warrior monks with similar uses and weaknesses. Heavy cavalry could beat spears if they charged them from behind and stood a reasonable chance against warrior monks in battle. Naginata were the ultimate in defence but could not kill quickly. Honour was the most valuable commodity on the field of battle as it gave +1 attack +1 defence +2 morale for each point. However several units still eluded frog. What was the point of ashigaru, guns. yari cavalry and cavalry archers? Each of these units was unable to perform in a useful manor and frog still winced when she remembered the charge of three units of yari samurai in a great battle. They had galloped quickly at the enemy, halted just in front of them before turning tail and fleeing the field before combat began. These units were therefore classified as useless.

The frog also studied Japanese during these long weeks as her new master often confused her with terms like yari, naginata, shogun, mon, koku and Daimyo. And as the weeks passed frog found she could understand her master with ease.

Then one morning master Full Game suggested that frog was now ready to play a true campaign game. This time the frog considered clan bonuses, province wealth and position, strategic positioning and easy of play before choosing the Shimazu clan. Frog immediately began producing yari and archers in equal quantities before crushing the Imagawa foothold on her island inside of 6 turns. She was heard to say Eat that at this moment of victory. The Mori clan had an alliance with the Shimazu but displayed that they had no honour when they broke it and attacked Nagato forcing frog to withdraw her small garrison without battle. This was the Lesson of Honour

Honour is everything to a samurai but a Daimyo will not hesitate to break an alliance and his word if he sees a chance for gain. Honour exists in name only with only a few holding to it. Beware of these men as they will commit sepuku if they loose a battle depriving you of an able commander.

And frog learned this lesson well. She built up her farmlands in provinces with more than 200 koku income and extended her castles into mighty fortresses capable of producing the best troops. Then she struck at the rebel island to the east capturing it in 4 turns. The Mori had crushed the Takeda and met up with frog on the isle of Awaji. And frog did say

what goes around comes around

And she destroyed the Mori giving her control of a quarter of Japan.By this time the Hojo had taken the rest of Japan and so frog fought them for control, slowly driving them back until one fateful battle. The Hojo had built many guns and the day of battle was fine with fair weather. The landscape of the field was quite flat and the frog found that the guns were highly effective as they destroyed a significant part of her army. Enlightenment struck

To use guns you should place them in three rows. In this way the front rank will fire and then retire to the back to reload. This increases the speed of fire. Flat ground is the ally of guns ad they cannot fire in arcs like bows nor can they aim very high or very low. Provide a row of gunners in front of your army and they will shoot at the enemy when they close causing many casualties and much fear. If the enemy get too close charge your infantry at them while pulling your guns back. Rain is the enemy of guns. A single drop will decrease their firing rate and accuracy. A down pour will make them useless.

The final battle was drawing close and frog had powerful armies of high honour troops with the best upgrades. The Hojo had massive armies vastly outnumbering her but they were made of lesser units so this was not a problem. The final battle took place on a mountain in a thunderstorm. Fighting raged for two hours and in the end more than 10,000 brave warriors lay dead. Frog had won.

But the learning did not stop there for frog found a place called 'the org' in the back of PC Gamer (UK) magazine and she did visit with much curiosity. There she found tactics for using yari cavalry and peasants which were effective but she still did not favour these units. Cavalry archers may be effective for some but the frog always found that they required baby sitting and so they also found no favour.

The frog also completed many other campaigns and found new strategies. She tried the Geisha unit and found the cutscenes to be hilarious, especially the one where the geisha played a 'guitar' for a while before smashing the victim over the head with it.

After many years of training the now old master Full Game died killed by the devious Microsoft Direct X 9 which caused him to emit screeching noises and flicker badly. And young frog found that master Battle Trainer was right, all other schools of strategy were as the gibbering of idiots. However the great CA introduced a new school of strategy based on the Shogun style, they called it Medieval: Total War and the frog did study under this school to. The frog still mourns the passing of master Full Game and wishes she had not been challenged to a game of Age of Empire II by her boyfriend.

(This took two hours to type I hope its not too boring. I will post the funny bits seperately as they kind of spoiled the epic story)