The Last Empire

[The Stranger]

i'm writing a book, and i thought let's see if you like it, so here are some questions

if you see the title what do you think the book is about

do you think the title is atractive enough

after some replies i'll add a preview

Or should i stick to poems

[The Stranger]

well i'm waiting

[master of the puppets]

judging merely by the title i see the last of a long lineage of warrior kings, fighting an overwhelming force to save there home and people. but then again thats just my idea, usually anything will trigger stories to pop into my head.

[The Stranger]

nope it is about a man who starts a rebbellion and took over a city, he declared this city his empire, but other nations don't like it and declared war with him, so he starts a deal with a terrorist organisation who suplies him with weapons. after a long siege in the city he lures the enemies in a ambush and conquers the rest of that country

[master of the puppets]

damn i was off...oh well

[The Stranger]

if you see the name you wouldn't link it to what i just told i have to admit that.

[master of the puppets]

still a good name

[The Stranger]

thanx for your contribution

[The Stranger]

I'll preview 3 pieces of the story for the ones interested, btw where are the admins i never see them. and it is a pretty poor translation

The Last Empire

'Come with me, i want to show you something,' a voice asked.
'Take me to what, damn can't you see i'm trying to sleep?' i replied.
'Come with me, i want to show you something,' the voice asked again.
'Oke oke don't push me, i'm coming'.
I stoud* up and put on my clothes.
'Where do we go actually,' i asked the voice.
'You'll see,' was the only awnser the strange voice gave.
i didn't totally trusted it but i wanted to know what the voice wanted to show me.

Though i couldn't see the voice, apparently my feet knew exactly where they had to go. After some time, i started wondering how long it would take, to get to the place the voice wanted to show me. And if i was talking about the devil, the voice ordered me to stop.
'Stop, Here is what i wanted to show you,' the voice said.
'What, where, i don't see anything'.
'You aren't looking'.
'Man, shut up i don't...'
And there it was, i couldn't believe my eyes. Right infront of me was a city made of gold.

'This all could be yours,' the voice woke me form my immagination:'You just have to...

end of part one of the preview

[Monk]

btw where are the admins i never see them.

, Shadeswolf has other sub forums to moderate; therefore the mead hall is trusted mainly to my watch. Hence my position as "Assistant Moderator".

But as for not seeing me around much; i post when i feel it necessary. So if you don't see me then the Mead Hall is doing just fine.

[The Stranger]

oh oke but i like if some people reply to my posts and give some tips and things like that

[Arrowhead]

It sounds a bit like the last real empire and its fall.

[The Stranger]

wich last empire the roman empire wasn't the last and if you read the other 2 previews you'll see it isn't. ARROW THROUGH HIS HEAD just can't stop saying that

[master of the puppets]

would'nt the last empire really be the empire of japan post WWII. they were really the last people to call themselves an empire.

[The Stranger]

yeah, but if ARROWHEAD read the previous posts he would see this empire doesn't fall

[king michael]

i think its great

[The Stranger]

thanx, i've past about 60% of the story so i'll wright the next preview tommorow

[master of the puppets]

can't wait

[The Stranger]

here the second part, and again bad spelling. the story is actually dutch


The mortars and artillery were pounding the enemy, the rifles and machine guns were shooting non-stop. The streets were a mess, houses reduced to nothing more than a pile of rubble. How could i have let this happen, my beautiful city, destroyed. I sat in my HQ, almost crying of despair. But still there was hope, my troops were actually winning the battle for Rotterdam. Suddenly somebody ran towards me, I immediately drawed my gun. I pointed it towards... My guard.

'you really scared me,' i shouted at the guard.
'Sorry sir,' the guard saluted and said he had a message.
'Sir permission to speak sir?'
'Permission granted.'
'I have a important message'
'Huh, oh oke speak up' i ordered
But actually i didn't even cared.
'B-squad successfully executed a ambush, 13 dead americans and 2 are taken prisoner.
'Were did it happen,' i asked. immediately i waked out of my self pity, this was great news.
'Not far from the frontline, in Nieuw Binnenweg.
'Oke, send in the cleaners and the engineers, let them rebuild up and remine the street.'
This was one of our defences, mines in the streets that worked on remote control. Snipers on the rooftops and MG's in the streets, invincible.
'Oke sir.'the guard turned and walked out of the HQ. but before he was out of the door i called him back. 'Can you send the prisoners to me'
the guard shaked his head (he said yes) and marched to the scene.

After 30 minutes the guard came back with the prisoners.
'here the are sir.'
'Thank you Mahony, you're dismissed.'
He saluted but i didn't payed him any attention. The prisoners who were visibly scared, totally had me in their grasp. They were young very young, perhaps even younger than me. They had clean faces, not because they shaved but because the didn't had to shave.
'How old are you' i asked them
'I'm...

more next time. note that this isn't a story but 3 pieces of a book i'm writing in dutch so some words might not be chosen correct.

[The Stranger]

can't wait

hope you'll like the next part

[ShadesWolf]

btw where are the admins i never see them.

We are always around. Some forums are better behaved than others, therefore we need not do much

[The Stranger]

he you don't have a assasins avatar.