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Thread: a short story i wrote

  1. #1
    Assistant Mod Mod Member GiantMonkeyMan's Avatar
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    Default a short story i wrote

    “Interview opened twelve fifty seven p.m. Subject suspected to be Dr Ralph Johnson.” said the silhouette.
    As if God said ‘Let there be light’ but didn’t tell everyone to shield their eyes, the silhouette turned on the lamp directed at him. Ralph shielded his eyes.
    “Sir, you are Dr Ralph Johnson?” said another voice, an Englishman’s voice.
    “I want my solicitor!”
    “Under the recent terrorist act you are not obliged to have a solicitor. Now are you Dr Ralph Johnson? Yes, or no.”
    “I am…. But terr-“
    “Good. What are you current qualifications Dr. Johnson?” said the first silhouette’s voice.
    Ralph paused. He had just realised why he had been herded into an armoured police vehicle at 2:30 in the morning.
    Recently the local branch of the IRA had been thought responsible for recent attacks killing 10-15 people in Belfast. And, unfortunately for Ralph, he was the most qualified in the surrounding area to have been responsible for such attacks. But surely-
    “Dr Johnson, if you do not co-operate then under legislation we are allowed to hold you as a suspected terrorist without proof.” said the English silhouette with a slight hint of annoyance in his dull, accent.
    “Please. Answer the question.” said the first silhouette.
    “I have a PhD in chemistry and medicine.”
    “Thank you. Where do you work at this moment and for how long have you been in employment there?” questioned the Englishman.
    “I work at the Belfast Chemist for-“
    “Where is this chemist Dr?” interrupted the first voice.
    “14 Priory Avenue but what has-“
    “Of what faith are you…? Dr Johnson?”
    This question came as a surprise. Ralph felt himself sweating. He wiped a salty drop from his nose and replied “Catholic. I suppose.”
    “You suppose?” There was silence as Ralph thought of the best way to answer his way out the ditch he had dug for himself.
    “I haven’t gone to church for a while.”
    “Why not?” asked the English voice.
    “I’ve not had the time.”
    “Have you been busy?” asked the first voice.
    “Yes.”
    “What with?” asked the voice once again.
    “With patients! Alright!” erupted Ralph with anger he couldn’t contain any longer.
    There was more silence. The only noise in the cramp interrogation room was the sound of a scratching pen and the low but steady hum of the tape recorder.
    “Dr Johnson, how do you feel about Protestants?”
    It came as a surprise although he knew he should have been expecting it since the news channels had informed the public that each bomb had been detonated at protestant owned buildings.
    “That depends.”
    “What on?”
    “What they are like.”
    “What are they like?”
    “I’m indifferent about them!”
    The scratch of pens.
    Ralph tried to prepare himself for the next question. He had no idea why the police thought he was a criminal. He had always kept to the lawful-
    “Can you make a bomb Dr Johnson?”
    Silence. Truth be told, Dr Ralph Johnson could make a bomb. With the right ingredients he could blow this police station to-
    “Dr Johnson?”
    In the past he had made bombs. But if he didn’t answer they could have him for withholding information. But if he answered truthfully then they might have enough incriminating evidence to-
    “Dr Johnson?”
    “Yes! Alright… I can make a bomb but, only if I wanted to!”
    The two daunting silhouettes gaze slowly at each other. Ralph lowers his head to the table. The table is plain grey apart from where flakes of old paint have been scraped off to reveal a metal surface.
    “Thank you Dr Johnson.” said the Englishman.
    One of the silhouettes leans over to the tape recorder. The other collects together the notes that the scratching pen has brought together during the interview.
    “Interview terminated one twenty seven p.m.”
    tell me what you think... this was for school ages ago and i got an A for it and i just forund it recently while i was online all critisism is welcome
    it is about IRA terrorists in belfast... (suspected)
    Last edited by GiantMonkeyMan; 11-02-2005 at 20:24.

  2. #2
    agitated Member master of the puppets's Avatar
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    Talking Re: a short story i wrote

    i like it, well thought out and almost as you would expevt suchh athorities to act, the dialoug is very human but it is a bit hollow, little emotion but that could be the result of the lack of background imformation. continue it if you will.
    A nation of sheep will beget a a government of wolves. Edward R. Murrow

    Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. —1 John 2:9

  3. #3
    Assistant Mod Mod Member GiantMonkeyMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: a short story i wrote

    i only had to write two pages and this was ages ago and i was lazy so i just had it in big font
    i was gonna write another bit about 'Ralph' in the cells and thinking through the events that had happened....

    another point: do you think ralph is a terrorist or not?

  4. #4
    agitated Member master of the puppets's Avatar
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    Talking Re: a short story i wrote

    yes, yes i do, he hate those protestants don't he, martin luther was a heretic was he? well tell it to the judge Ralph if that is your real name.
    A nation of sheep will beget a a government of wolves. Edward R. Murrow

    Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. —1 John 2:9

  5. #5
    Assistant Mod Mod Member GiantMonkeyMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: a short story i wrote

    lol.... that is strange because most of my friends when they read it said that he was wrongly accused or something because they thought that any main caracter would have to be good but i sort of started to make him good then decided to put a twist in it

  6. #6
    Arrogant Ashigaru Moderator Ludens's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: a short story i wrote

    Interesting. A very life-like situation. Well done, though the writing is a bit clunky.

    Personally, I don't think Johnson is a terrorist. He wasn't expecting to be interrogated, he obviously hadn't prepared for this and he thinks he has always been a lawfull citizen. However, the fact that he has made bombs in the past doesn't add up. So I wonder why MotP thinks he is a terrorrist.
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  7. #7
    Assistant Mod Mod Member GiantMonkeyMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: a short story i wrote

    well i know if i knew how to make bombs i would at least try it out sorta but cos i am not a complete dumbass i wouldn't endanger myself...

    yes the writing is laboured and one of my mates told me i did that the night before it was due in though i didn't remmeber that

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