Quitting Smoking for the LAST time.

[Vladimir]

.
Reminded me the Twilight Zone episode with the guy trying to quit alcohol.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The evil doc makes him swallow a kind of parasite, which resides in his stomach and feeds with alcohol. If he drinks, the parasite grows and consumes him from within. If he doesn't, it demands more and still devours him from within.

.

So remember kids: Quitting smoking is good but don't stop drinking!

[Shahed]

03:04 5/1/8 Progress Log
Important note: I did not 'fall back' to a smoke on the New Year's party, I chose to do it, completely aware of what I was doing, even intoxicated. There are many things I regret in life but those are long gone into the dust of history. I don't wallow, I carry on. 'nuff said.

The main thing I've noticed in the past couple of days is an increased desire to smoke. It seems that laying off increases the relapse effect. Sleep patterns are still disrupted. Last night I slept 15 hours. I feel like I could sleep for 2 weeks only waking to eat. Tonight I'm not sleepy yet, but I will lie down and stay in bed for 6-8 hours, sleep or no sleep: too bad. When I wake I'll immediately go into autopilot for the rest of the day, going about running my life. Have a lot I want to do before the end of the month. Other physical effects: a bit edgy like last week, nothing more. Mild resurgent tension in the head, appears off and on. Everything else is on track, I'm working out, socialising, no games all for at least 3 weeks now probably more like 5-6 weeks (I'm not going back to gaming either), spending some time researching items of interest but no more than necessary, on the internet. I expect a good sauna and a few ice cold showers to cure head tension in the morning. I should mention that I'm doing this for the girls I love too, not just for me. I have external motivation but above all the motivation is within. I've wanted to stop smoking for a long time, and I'm not letting this go. I am dropping habits totally unworthy of me, one by one. I'm doing this for the man I am, for me. I'm growing past this. I'll take anything along the way that I need to, unscathed, to come out a better man. I will win. HANG ON !

Jhumbhi Jhuba GO!

[Shahed]

7/1/8 04:37

Sleep; major problem. Cannot sleep and if I do it's for very long hours. I can't just take a break from life and sleep for 2 weeks, as is obviously the need. I'll have to cut back on sleep further. I have a hope that if I stay awake today till night i.e more than 24 hours I'll fall back into a awake during day- asleep at night pattern. Currently I can only sleep early in the morning around this time. In other news I'm still on track with everything else. I'm really tired, but I'm not gonna break. I went to a smoky jazz cafe today, had quite a few drinks: 2 Scotch, 2 Rum and 2 half litres of beer, packet of peanuts. Felt like smoking but I didn't. HOOO !! YAHHH !!!

I motivate myself with silent slogans throughout the day. Sometimes I think of wild stuff, like the ending battle in Legionnaire, or Chushingura. The moment in Chushingura when the young samurai comes to his lover's home to tell her for the first time that he loves her. COURAGE. I have lots of noble examples to guide my way.

BANZAI!!!

Soon... soon... I'll be free... looking forward to end of this week, my first smokefree week in a long time.

[Shahed]

19:22 7/1/8

FINALLY some progress. I'm really feeling much better, I think finally this annoying roller coaster edginess, irritability garbage is out, as of about two hours ago. I HOPE! Didn't sleep today, but I'm VERY much more composed and collected. I can finally think a lot clearer. This is a major breakthrough.

Went swimming in line with physical development goals, forgot to get a haircut again, EXCELLENT. Beginning to look like Chewbaca from Star Wars.

The ridiculous thing is I'm getting so much attention from women today, it's crazy. I cannot understand it. I look pale and vampire like, I'm annoying and irritable most of the day, my hair is like standing on end as if I just got out of the electric chair after a good jolt. My energy level is like Lake Placid i.e dead, my skin is wrinkled from the cholorine and too way too much hot shower after the swim, I have dark circles under my eyes, look just like an owl, my eyebrows are like stuck in frown mode. I cannot believe this is the look women like on me. I got approached by at least 5 women today. Went to buy a juicer (daily fresh liter of orange juice starting tomorrow morn!), the 40 year old saleswoman, decent and quite delicious, was hitting on me. Went to get a sandwich, waiting in que to pay, and these two young 20 something chicks constantly staring at me. So I get annoyed and give them a dirty, grumpy look, they use the eye contact to blantantly hit on publicly "Sorry! Look at your hair... it's adorable!" WTFOMFG!!!!??? ... LAME!

Did loads of work today, including absolutely annoying governmental paperwork nonsense. Have some great news ! A friend of mine has left to study in AMERICA ! CALIFORNIA BABY!!!! I'm happy for him, it's gonna be awesome for him, he'll be having a ball of a time. Now that's LIFE !

Time for bed, RIGHT NOW 19:32, going to rise early around 06:30. Curfew !

[Vladimir]

I actually considered the occasional smoke to irritate the anti-smoking crowd but now I think I'll pass. Do people have this much trouble recovering from heroin addiction? No way I'm going to start either of them, hell no!

I did smoke for a year or so but quit before high school; who wants to pay for those things? Years later I still felt the pull.

If you do start I recommend something like Marlborough lights. Two days after smoking one during a night of drinking the wretched taste would pop back into my mouth. That's definitely one way to keep your consumption down.

[Shahed]

Depends on dependency level. Clearly my physical dependence level was very high. I've been smoking since 13-14 years old. Approximately 20 years with a long break of a few years. I'm not starting again. No way in hell or heaven. I'm changing it's too late to go back, or look back.

This morning things are looking UP ! I'm excited and wanted to post a quick report.

8/1/8 07:04
Woke up at 05:20, YAHOOO !!! went running. Quite a few people out cycling mostly, but a few runners including 2 FIT independent females as well. Never knew I had such athletic neighbours. AWESOME! Quite a few ships in the harbor, container ships. Got called off by security while I was climbing up one of the mooring ropes. Almost dropped my butt into the water. LOL ! I was supposed to go to the gym but anyway I wanted to run, gym tomorrow. Ran about 60 minutes, temperature aboout 5-6 degrees C, no shirt no issue, warm, good blood circulation, some shortness of breath. HOOAAAAHHH !!!! I'm still a bit tired but my day has started so right and I've got LOADS to do. I'm looking forward to it. This is GREAT.

WAYPOINT ONE REACHED ! ELEMENT PROCEEDING TO WAYPOINT 2 AS FRAGGED! (<-link)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

"As fragged" is brevity.
American/NATO air force code for "Unit/flight/element is performing exactly as planned by the ATO (Air Tasking Order).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brevity_code

[Shahed]

8/1/8 19:10

Great day as expected. Did lots of organising, planning and some more administrative stuff which I had to do from last year. Thank goodness that's over. Feeling fine but sleepy and tired. Totally on track with all goals, awesome lunch, nice and healthy, fruit twice today (6 pieces), fresh orange juice, the works!. Surely got my vitamins in for today. Do you guys know that vitamins are NOT stored in the body long term (like fat is), so you HAVE TO eat foods which contain them EVERY DAY. That is if you want to feed yourself all the essential nutrients at maximum level every day. Of course you can get by and not eat any fruit all your life, but I'm not sure if that's going to get you at peak performance. Was feeling real sleepy after lunch, so I got off my desk and did about 200 high forward kicks. Ever realised that the stuff you learnt in karate class at age five will stick with you all your life ? After I did a couple I immediately felt an error in form, abs too soft and my balance was off, corrected. That felt great, woke me up in a minute. Think my leg might fall off though (lol). This (<-link) is a neat short vid, watch the high forward kicks.

Tomorrow I'm hitting the gym nice and early. Going to make it another productive day, matter of fact I think this week is gonna be good.

I think I might start trying to film stuff I do and see e.g this morning was surreal, the ships, silence, wind, the lights. It was like Escape from New York. I love waking up early and just being able to appreciate the environment for it is, in peace and quiet.

At night or in the dark it's very different, much better for training !




Wish I had taken at least a picture of the ship I was climbing up. It was HUGE. Maybe it's still here next time I go running.

Have to go out tonight ! or I'll miss my social goals. I want to go out, I know just what I need. Called a wingman he's like ugh have to write a paper, ugh so tired, ugh my mind is blown, ugh my girl...yadda yadda yaaaa. Whatever dude, go ahead and wallow at home. Byeeee byeee ! I'm sick & tired of being bored to death by 30 year olds who terrorise me with constant talk about serious life and death issues like how 2 centimeters of skin on their ankle is sagging... So I'm hitting the a classier 20ies bar just down the street, where all the female humanities majors hang out in droves and swarms, all by myself!. Guess what's gonna happen as soon as I walk in ? BOOM! Take the place by storm, that's what! I'm going to walk straight up to the largest, most intelligent looking all female group and have some FUN!. Nt sure if it will be very busy since there's exams going on, but if not I move to the more mixed crowd place little further down. We have a plan soldiers!. Wow, I'm looking forward to it now... can't wait. NO alchohol and I have to complete the entire opertation by about 22:30 so I get some decent hours of sleep. BTW I figured out why I was getting more attention yesterday.

ROCK & ROLL ! MOVING OUT!

[Vladimir]

Not true. Vitamins A, D, and K are stored in your fat. The rest are water soluble. You can overdose on the former. Multivitamins should be a staple.

But yea, eat fresh and stay away from the "old" people. If you're only 30 and you think your glory days are behind you your next step is death. I've got no time for zombies!

[woad&fangs]

Nice to hear that everything's going well Sinan. Keep it up.

[Shahed]

EXCELLENT evening ! NOW I've done all I needed to today and can sleep in peace.

Vlad, I don't think we can be at 100% vitamin storage level unless you ingest every single day. This is because you're probably using them every single day, provided you have a reasonably healthy physical system. I'm no nutritionist though.

I'm 34, my glory days have just begun actually. I'm not old at all. Some 30 something chicks bore the life out of me. Far too serious, no humor, one good thing about them is that they know life ends, so they tend to go for what they (*hint *hint) want faster. Age is a mind thing, non issue for me. I'm 21 at heart. Even in my current not so fit but still above average condition I thrash the average 19-25 year old who has never smoked. Keep in mind I just quit smoking after like 20 years. That has a big impact on your body. However, there are quite a few 50 year olds who'll beat (and have beat) the crap out of me, and quite a few young women too. There's a guy at the gym, he's 56. He is the undisputed cardio champ. He wins all the competitions in the gym, does marathons, rowing etc. That's simply because of intensity of mind, mental power, focus, life experience and of course the pure will, to be aggressive without reserve in that moment which counts.

Thanks for the support W&F.
Now I'm not gonna get enough sleep coz I didn't get back in time. Waking up at 06:00. Too freakin bad!!!.
More tomorrow hopefully. Not sure if I can post tomorrow, have to PUSH!!!

[DemonArchangel]

I wish you a strong will Sinan. Keep working out, and instead of smoking when you're stressed out, why not try a stretch break instead?

[mrdun]

smoking...why? (only post things like smelling stale and not things like to relax...yes i want you to back me up here)

[Shahed]

Thanks Demon. Nice to see you around again. It's been a while, you quit TW ? Did you try M2:TW ? BTW I am not smoking, what I do is just eat a piece of fruit, or simply acknowledge the urge, tell myself it's gonna pass, just like life itself, it will pass. And in about 10-15 minutes it usually does. LOL Mrdun, I have NO suggestions that may be of assistance to you in that area!

9/1/8 22:50
Last night: Approached 5 girls in one group, chatted a while, no resistance from the women at all, took 2 away, dropped one to her dorm, took the other home for a short nightcap. Social objective achieved. No sex by my choice, got 2 SMSs from her when I switched phone on this morning, she's hungry now, deferred her to the weekend. Going out again tomorrow night.

This morning: Gym full workout as fragged !

Problem: Sleep disorder. Certainly a nicotine withdrawal induced disorder, in this case. Woke up early, slept ok but not enough. Very sleepy all the time. Feel like I could sleep all day, and night for at least a week or two. This is an issue. Taken a sleeping pill. I had left over from when I was hospitalised with stomach infection in Asia, to make sure I sleep right now. Defintely a problem. It should be over by now, but it isn't. I think I need some help on this but I don't know what to do. Go to the hospital ? get sleeping pills so I sleep right ? NO! I'm staying right here. I've decided that I'm going to get through this. I have what it takes.

HOLD POSITION !

[Vladimir]

Dude, you're crazy. But that's cool.

[AntiochusIII]

Dude, you're crazy. But that's cool.

The ladies like that.

LOL, Sinan. Keep it up!

[DemonArchangel]

Thanks Demon. Nice to see you around again. It's been a while, you quit TW ? Did you try M2:TW ? BTW I am not smoking, what I do is just eat a piece of fruit, or simply acknowledge the urge, tell myself it's gonna pass, just like life itself, it will pass. And in about 10-15 minutes it usually does. LOL Mrdun, I have NO suggestions that may be of assistance to you in that area!

I have M2:TW. I stopped gaming though. No time. Parkour and school get in the way. Oh yea, dude, try to avoid sleeping pills, as (as the commercials say), they have a risk of dependency. Don't replace one addiction with another. The fruit is a healthy idea for fighting a craving though.

[Shahed]

10/1/8 07:28

Slept 4.5 hours, woke 05:00. Pill had impact, out in a second. Went running High Intensity Interval about 15 minutes, steady 65% heart rate 45 minutes. Target achieved and above. Temperature with windchill about 3-5 degrees C. Order from HQ: no shirt if temp higher than 0 degrees C, single shirt if temp -3 -> 0, shirt + training top if temp < -3.

On target .... moving on !

RANGERS LEAD THE WAY ! ALL THE WAY !

[Shahed]

04:33 14/1/8 (1 month to Valentines!)
Weekend in Rotterdam, absolutely awesome. I LOVE HOLLAND ! Sleep still disrupted, max 4-5 hours sleep per night, body's hurt, heartbeats sometimes irregular when fatigued but sleep needs seem to be dropping, and I feel great, emotions high, physically stronger, breathing easier, RESOLUTE !

Nothing matters except victory, over myself "of yesterday".

[Martok]

Go Sinan!

Seriously man, I really admire your efforts. (Indeed, I admire anyone that's trying to give up smoking.)

[Drisos]

Very good work, Sinan! Keep it up.

I've whitnessed what lots of smoking can do to you, my grandfather did. Well, let's say, it's unpleasant. I hope you keep from it now, and more others do too!

[Husar]

Keep going Sinan!

And when you're done please write a book about it for other friends of mine who I want to stop.

[FactionHeir]

Keep going mate, a bit more till your second smoke free week!!!

[Vladimir]

I would have quit quitting by now. I need my sleep! But good on you.

[Shahed]

Thanks guys ! I started this log more for myself really, someplace where I could write for myself, but I'm very grateful for the support. It sure did help and it is very encouraging. Week 2 is up, last I remember smoking was on 1/1/8. This is only one aspect I'm doing a makeover. I'm dropping a lot of other stuff as well. Haven't video gamed in a couple of months now. So much I've changed in the past 4 weeks or so, but still so much to do. I'm not even reading the org anymore, except 2-3 threads. I guess I'll have to start a more comprehensive log, somewhere, eventually.

[Husar]

You may also want to create your own userpage here.
That way you have your log seperate from our comments and we can still encourage you in your shoutbox.
You can find a list of userpages in the Sile Tools.

[Shahed]

Oh that's cool. I didn't know about that. THANKS a lot !

[Caius]

Thank Tosa man.

[Vladimir]

So what? Are we back on the pipe?

[Shahed]

HA ! Been out all night. About a dozen BOMBAY! & tonics (MY weekend!) in smoke filled clubs and bars but I haven't smoked or even felt like it. I don't want to sound mission accoplished just yet, give it another month and I will. 2-3 months down and I'm HAPPY! I'm already happy though, now every time I see someone light up, rather than want one I fell really... careless, I couldn't care less. It's as if they were chewing gum or whatever. It's lame though that's pretty obvious, even more so now.

[InsaneApache]

Well done.

A word of warning though, be careful you don't become complacent. I stopped for 3 years in the 80s and started again at a party.

I'm into my 3rd year again and I am determined not to throw it away this time.

Again, well done you.