DOOM!

[Vuk]

I am the Prophet of DOOM! Appointed by Hope, the god of DOOM! I am here to spread his message of DOOM!
I stood in grove, and LO!, he did come to me, and told me The Age of the Wolves has come! You my Prophet shall gleefully gloat over the suffering masses! I trembled when I saw him, and said "Surely, I must still in sleep be, for how can this true? I a Prophet? Surely not!" A Holy Rage did come upon Hope, and he did shake his fist and shout ARE CALLING ME A LIAR, PROPHET?! I did resist mine un-Holy temptation to make a satanic wise crack and say "Nah, Hope, I am not calling you a liar Prophet, I am calling you a liar god". Instead I did bow my head and say "Then it must be that you are God, and that I am a Prophet, and that I am in a Grove that I never remember being in. If you say so, then it must be."
Take this O Prophet sayeth he as he did handeth me an oaken staff. Use it to chastise the unbelievers, so that their DOOM will be all the more horiffic. "Oh god of DOOM!" sayeth I, "If you are called Hope, how can you be the god of DOOM?"
I am called Hope because I bring hope and happiness to the world, and whenever there is misery, I always make sure that good springs out of it. I am the god of DOOM because I have grown tired of stupid mortals killing each other, and I am quitting my job. When Hope is gone, there will be only DOOM left. The power of his devine words lopped me offside the head, and I did say "Oh great god of DOOM, I will be your Prophet and spread your misery throughout the world!"
Go! And make humanity miserable!


The Prophet has spoken (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/group.php?groupid=71&gmid=7298#gmessage7298)! The Age of the Wolves is coming!
Prepare for DOOM!

[Vuk]

Now that Hope has left the earth, Fire (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8) is going to come into the world and bring about DOOM!

[desert]

Holy crap, that song was in Hot Fuzz!!:2thumbsup:

[Vuk]

I have never seen Hot Fuzz, but I want to. I heard a lot of good things about it.
An welcome my acolyte! WELCOME TO DOOM! :skull:

Spread the DOOM to every topic you post in! DOOM!

[Vuk]

O BELIEVERS OF SUDDEN AND EVERLASTING DOOM! HEAR THE WORDS OF YOUR PROPHET, THE WOLF OF DOOM!
Hope HAS DECREED THAT NONE SHALL EAT MAYONNAISE FOR A MONTH IN ORDER THAT YOU SHALL ESCAPE THE DOOM THAT WILL ENGULF THIS SORRY WORLD!

Now go! And eat no mayonnaise!

[pevergreen]

Storm, Earth and Fire... Heed my call...

I am the son of the wind and rain,
Thunder beckons and I heed the call.
If I die upon this day,
In battle I will fall.

Hear me brothers gather up the wolves, (howl)
To battle, we will ride.
Wardrums echo the beating heart,
Pounding from inside.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
From the power of the Horde...

Farseer to the Warsong clan,
To no matter will I kneel.
Feel the power and the energy,
For the black blood, honor and steel.

I feel the fire burning in my veins,
Lightning strikes at my command.
By storm and earth, axe and fire,
We come to claim this land.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
From the power of the Horde...

Yeeeeaaaahhhh!

Surrounded by the enemy,
The wolf among the hounds.
Thunder turns to silence it-
Took the hundred to bring me down.

Wolf brothers falling at my side,
With honor I will die.
Upon the Altar of the Storms,
I will be reborn.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
For I have been reborn.


STORM
EARTH
FIRE
DEATH (death sound)
The power of the Horde........






Tremble Mortals and despair! Doom has come to this world!

[Vuk]

Storm, Earth and Fire... Heed my call...

I am the son of the wind and rain,
Thunder beckons and I heed the call.
If I die upon this day,
In battle I will fall.

Hear me brothers gather up the wolves, (howl)
To battle, we will ride.
Wardrums echo the beating heart,
Pounding from inside.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
From the power of the Horde...

Farseer to the Warsong clan,
To no matter will I kneel.
Feel the power and the energy,
For the black blood, honor and steel.

I feel the fire burning in my veins,
Lightning strikes at my command.
By storm and earth, axe and fire,
We come to claim this land.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
From the power of the Horde...

Yeeeeaaaahhhh!

Surrounded by the enemy,
The wolf among the hounds.
Thunder turns to silence it-
Took the hundred to bring me down.

Wolf brothers falling at my side,
With honor I will die.
Upon the Altar of the Storms,
I will be reborn.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder will bring forth...
DEATH
For I have been reborn.


STORM
EARTH
FIRE
DEATH (death sound)
The power of the Horde........

Truely PackBrother pever, you are truely blessed with great wisdom and knowledge. Come fellow hunter, and let us preach DOOM unto mankind!

[Vuk]

The Spirit of DOOM did come upon me, and lo! I was struck with great fear so that mine knees did tremble. And Hope did say unto me Stop cowering you stupid Prophet, you are my harbinger of DOOM, I am not here to destroy you.
"Oh my lord! What then are you here for?"
To give to you my teachings of DOOM, to pass onto those who will follow the ways of despair, so that they may escape the fate of their world.
And he did hand me a scroll, and on it was written ten lines. But lo, Hope's handwritting was so messy that I could not read it, and not wanting to bring his wrath upon me, I told him "Verily my lord, this I will preach to the unworthy"

Since your Prophet could not read his master's handwriting, he has made his own 10 LAWS OF DOOM which you mustest followeth:

1: Thou shalt not be happy...ever...lest though be impaled alive.
2: Thou shalt never cheer up thine friends.
3: Thou shalt never have friends, lest though shalt die.
4: Thou shalt never cheer up strangers.
5: Thou shalt in fact preach the message of DOOM unto strangers so that they fall into despair.
6: Thou shalt never be afraid, for you already know the horrific fates that await you, so get on with it.
7: Thou shalt make the unbelievers ever afraid, so that they know not which way to turn.
8: Thou shalt always worship me like a god (I am top Prophet after all).
9: Thou shalt always treat thine pack members with respect.
10: Thou shalt spread DOOM across the Org.

Go now my harbingers of DOOM, and spread the despair!

[Lemur]

O foreboding and puissant prophet of Doom, surely a discussion of religion belongs in the Backroom. By your blessing and grace, closed.