View Full Version : KARTHADAST SENATE GOES HIGH ON WEEDS (Crazy Short Stories of The Kart-Hadastei)
Cute Wolf
10-25-2009, 13:36
Hello... welcome to my attempt to create a crazy AAR... well, I suddenly gotta this weird campaign idea when discussing the effect of weeds with Jebivjetar. So, to made something clear, I disapprove the usage of weeds because they'll made someone start blurbing crazy stuff, and if someone with power are addicted... bet many crazy stuff will happened (imagine what happened if your president / prime minister are crack addict!). In this campaign, I gonna roleplay that some the Karthadastim senate are heavily addicted by weeds, and because of that... they start to doing some random crazy stuff everywhere... Anyway, because of this AAR has primarily launghingstock comedic nature, you'll find me obviously doing cheating on purpose... but believe me... sometimes they'll also blow everything up and leave a good city for apparently no reason... so sit back and enjoy my story... Thank You!
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PROLOGUE : Jebivjetar Barca, The Weed Trader
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/avatars/thumbs/4033.gif
"Oh yeah... and for that talent of gold, I shall give you this shipload of weeds... Nice deal doesn't?" Jebivejtar grins happily as Mago orders his servant to weigh the gold coins in front of their eyes. Well - well, let me introduce this certain shady guy... Jebivjetar Barca. Yes, as most of you may know by his obvious name, he was actually a time traveller by accident when he is high and arburdly enter a Nuclear Reactor's core... Instead of getting instantly roasted and sent to the afterlife, the fission energy rip a dimensional wall and sent back this guy to the North Africa in 275 BC. Luckily, aside from his clothes, he also carried a bag full of marijuna (what?!? he carry as much as that?!? What the ****!?!) and somehow manage to trade a bit of it with a rather large farmland, and as you can expect, he start to plant the remaining seeds and sold it at 'ridiculously' high price. It looks like he was in his lucky terms because the first man he trade his weeds (and the first Karthadastei addict), is none other than the Shofet Mago himself... Thus, by supplying the weeds in exclusive terms to the Karthadastim senate, he got a considerable influence on them.
For about years, he has build a rather large scale weed production on north Afica, and by this time, most of the Karthadastim senate members has become heavily addicted on them. They feel so refreshed and think, if this miracle drug was fallen into another faction's hands, what kind of tragedy will befall on theirs? should their miracle drugs are lost? So at this time, almost all of the weeds goes to these Karthadastei upperclassmen, and they paid Jebivjetar rather generously, showering him with gold and giving him a large influence on their decision...
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NOTE : I allready got a permission by Jebivjetar Barca himself.... he deserve this balloon of course :balloon3:
Cute Wolf
10-25-2009, 13:37
Hamalcar's Bad Day At Sicily
Hamallcar is gettin a trial of Incompetence because he lost the entire Karthadastei elephant corps, and when he was called in Kart-Hadast he just said this first: "I just simply don't understand... why those pinkie trunkie are so easily killed when I order them to clear the way from wall ruins... It's simply not my fault because I've done this for our soldier's sake."
"Are you idiot or what?!? Can't you see? Clearin the wall's ruins? Are you disaster rescue team or... They are Akontistai and Peltastai according to your men's report! And You are supposed to be careful with those beast! One of them is worth ten minai of weeds!" The Shofet Mago said that rather angrily...
"Oh... please brother... at least I had driven off the Mamertimes out from Messana... Is that wasn't enough?"
"Simply not!!! **** the Mamartimes! So you wanna said that filthy city are worth of our entire pinkie trunkie?!? Can't you think with your ass? You should board some kerkuroi fleet and sent to sleep with the fish you ****** brother!"
"OI.... STOP THIS ****** TRIAL!" Suddenly Jebivjetar Barca shouted. "We could just gettin moar pinkie trunkie from the south, as they won't be in endangered status until 2250 years from now... just keep'em captured and we could regenerate'em again!"
"But, Lord Jebivjetar... Incompetence and Idiocy is unforgiveable sin..." Some random senators bubbled when they heard Jebivjetar's shout...
"NO NO NO... I told you guys... killin those Mamers ain't easy business... and for some good reason... we should hear Hamalcar's story about that first, and then... we'll have our time to think about our Judgement... now Hamalcar... tell us about the truth you remember..." Jebivjetar calmly continues his speech and give a chance for Hamalcar to have his defense.
"uh... guys.... so this story was happened after I sign the peace treaty between us and Epeirotes..." Hamalcar start his story. "I told you... Pyrrhos sent his diplomats to sent the letter and I was first think about bargain for some money... but I simply couldn't resist when their clothing reveals their smooth thighs and ass... I got carried and asked him to doing that the Hellenic way, and some cretain aggrements for a permanent peace treaty..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic001.jpg
"And so we have our decision here... We are strongly conservative politician here... and we disapprove :daisy: ... You are guilty because homosexuality destroy family values, and you should be sent to our death Kerkuroi fleet..." Mago replies calmly with a really disgusted face.
"Noooo! I didn't say that I doing that with men!!! Pyrrhos' diplomats also carried some really hot girls... That's it...!!!" Hamalcar suddenly becomes very affraid of the most senator's cold and disgusted faces.
"But you said 'Doing it the Hellenic way'...."
"I means these girls are just hot hetairas from Hellenes!" Hamalcar replies really quickly, as he try to cover something.
"Oh... so if this are the truth... continue your story..." Mago said.
"As we talk about the agreements... the Epeirotes are telling us that Pyrrhos is very pissed off with Hiero, king of Syrakousai, his former general that betray his trust... so they ask if we took the Sicily down, when he have his own fun time claiming Makedonian throne... then, he won't become the launghingstock of the Mediterranians again..."
"But your action made us to become the launghingstock!"
".......... But.................. That was just tactical mistake........."
"And how did you capture Messana?" Jebivjetar asked.
"Well, all start when my troops wandering into Sicilian heartlands... we start to walk a long way, but when at the way arround... our supplies goes low because of the pinkie trunkie start eating too much... and I decide that we should loot some food from a nearby town first... but it was my men's fault, not me! as they ask me when I was high... and I just point out Messana for our raiding target."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic002.jpg
"And here we go... I just ordered the Elephants to smash their head to their walls"
"Not their gate?"
"I forgot to said that... I just said... smash the walls!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic003.jpg
"And then our heavy cavalrymen dash forward... breaking their pitiful line of defence..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic004.jpg
"After sucessfully give a shell shock to them... I ordered the infantry and elephants to enter the carnage... and before long... I found that we are victorious... the street are filled with soo many corpses, that our pinkie trunkie loves to trample'em flat..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic005.jpg
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic006.jpg
"Getting more confidence of my skill, after getting more reinforcements, we decide to take on Syrakousai some month after that..."
"So... your secret deal with the Epeirotes are come in play huh?!?"
"Yep.... a bit off......."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic007.jpg
"First, we blast their wall... but then, I look something.... strange with that..."
"What strange?"
"The psiloi's corpses who just fallen down the walls... they attract the pinkie trunkie..."
"So what happened to the Elephant corps?"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic008.jpg
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic009.jpg
"Well, actually... that time... some of my weed stock was missing, and I found out that the Mahout stole them... Understand that they are just wanna be hippie after gettin so much kill ratio (24 elephants trampled and kill over hundred guys), I gonna let em have the fun..."
"And what did they do?"
"Well, aside from doing many things you'll only do when high... they fed some of the weed to the elephants..."
"Holy ****, I bet these beast are goin to have a sweet dreams.... and...." Jebivjetar suddenly realised.
"Bet they look for those psiloi's nuts... as they love nuts to eat... hmm, that's interesting" Mago add. "And when you ordered those pinkie trunkie to put aside the debris to made a safe entrance.... they can't run as fast beause in their mind, they search for nuts!!!!!"
"Eheh.... uh... yeah brother...." That's the story..." Hamalcar continues. "So after some sucessful initial break against the Syrakousai Hoplitai that guard the entrance... they suddenly stopped bite even our men's nutsack... as they gone wild... everyone throwing their spears to these beast... and made their escape...."
"Ouw.... Nuts..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic010.jpg
"And those psiloi that was left on the walls start pelting us with anything they have.... and we got soo many victim...." because of that, even I got to run as fast as I can to safe my life from that carnage.... I think... that's all"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic011.jpg
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part01pic012.jpg
"So... next time.... safe your weed really well, don't let your pinkie trunkie eat that... get my point? Now back to your province, and repay that elephant's debt from your province's cash!" Mago then close the trial with that word...
---
Some hours after... at the port...
"So... how about those Epeirot diplomats?" Jebivjetar ask Hamalcar.
"Well, that's a bad day afterall.... I know that my brother are soo damn conservative guy... and he doesn't have the open-mindedness of the Hellenes had... Let this story forgotten..."
"Nope... I know that you're a :daisy: ... Because two years ago, when you first getting high... you admit that you love Hellenic boys.... And made all of us run away as you start to open your clothes..."
"Ouw.... ****!!!!"
"Don't worry... just focus on your duty now... my next shipments will come to karali next autmn... Good luck, and don't let your elephants eat em..."
"Ok.... thanks.... wanna some bear hug pal? Mmmmmmmmwwwwww......ach"
(Jebivjetar runs away in screams....)
PART 1 Finished....
Jebivjetar
10-25-2009, 13:47
oh, man: this is AWESOME!
and, yes, i was time traveler, but my conquest failed because most of my soldiers get high and so they decided not to fight anymore (they are some kind of proto-hippies: they like to sing a lot about some peace, and wear funny clothes with flowers) : so they went to Gaul and there settled with some "naked fanatics" with their local narco-guru (lesser king) somewhere around Alesia. Oh, man, i dont know what to do: i made them too peaceful with my good ancient weed :wall:
:clown:
satalexton
10-25-2009, 15:11
I came. I saw. I loled.
The Basileus give his approval =] :balloon3: :balloon3:
One for you, Jevi; One for Lykos.
I also commision you two to oversee the Romaioktonoi exclusive 'supplies' shipments.
Cute Wolf
10-26-2009, 08:34
The Ecology Issue. Ambrakia Protocol FTW
Ambrakia, 267 BC
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"Because the prevailing opinion on international climate change, that some civilizations are undoubtly destroy the nature, and their activities resulted in substantial global warming from some hundred years arround. The effect of industrial growth on some factions is simply staggering, and they start to throw away their harmful emmision for the other's exspense... So we are here... to discuss and sign the ratification of international law and restrictions in the harmful industry."
Pyrrhos of Epeiros; Delivering the opening speech of Ambrakia Summit.
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The Ambrakia Protocol is a protocol to the Classical Factions Upholding Convention on Climate Change (CFUCCC), aimed at combating harmful industrial effect that some factions udoubtly do, and hope to prevent global warming in future generations. The CFUCCC is an multi-factional environmental treaty with the goal of achieving "stabilization of industrial emmision and harmful substance concentrations in the wolrd at a level that would prevent dangerous anthropogenic interference with the climate system."
The Protocol was initially proposed by some Lusotann and Sewboz activist on the concern of increasing deforestation by certain civilzed factions and harmful emmision delibrately thrown into their land by some of more civilized factions. On Autmn 268 BC, Pyrrhos of Epeiros, having nothing to do, as he was at peace with everyone that time, declares his support to that barbarian-wannabe activists (most of them are Hellenic men that live with Lusos and Sweboz... that initially made this movement), and called for international truce to give a safe time for a summit in Ambrakia. Even though he often becomes the launghingstock of the Mediterrania, this time, his words are remarkable because soon after that, Archimides of Syrakousai declares his support openly on his visit to Athenai akademia, indicating strong support from the scientific community.
The Karthadastei representative, Himilco, attend that summit by accident. He was looking for some Hellenic slave-girls that his uncles usually used at their smoking parties, but ends up at this summit since when he was at his 5-star hotel at Ambrakia, Helenos Aiakides comes and ask if he also want to attend the summit, He ask if he could getting really high in the summit, he'll attend, and Helenos just said... "You'll face some really damn high-end academics" and because Himilco was think 'academics' is a new type of weed (because he was obviously high that time), agreed to attend the summit.
The young Ambon Lusotanakum are the first representative of a faction that report the international community about some Kart-Hadast activity that disturb the natural ecology of Iberia. He report that under Hadrusbal's ignorant rule on suthern Iberia, the forest undergo massive deforestation, and their allies on the baikor region reports that several industrial emmision (including glass splinters, spilled dyes, massive pig fecal matters, aborted or roasted babies, and those stupid smoking Phoenicians) has done harmful things to their life, as approved by their leader, named Eburaknus, before he was silenced by the Phoenicians and their nature loving town was razed to the ground. Ambon's speech including the condemnation of the recent wrong and forceful silencing method of the native activist in Iberia by Karthadastei Soldiers: "They just deliver a peaceful speech on how we should honor the nature, and because the Phoenicians act as they didn't hear their plea, they decide to block the trade route to show their protest, but as the result, almost all of them are massacred by an Army led by Hadrusbaal. After that, the entire town of Baikor was completely eradicated, and the natives was sent to concentration camps."
After hearing Ambon's speech... Himilco stand and try throw his shoe to Ambon, but Helenos prevent his to do so... The next speech was delivered by someone named Caradog from Aedui, and he condemn about the same thing the Romans done in Liguria... And as everyone's prediction comes true, Lvcivs Cornelivs Scipio stood up and throw his sandals to Caradog... Luckily, the Celt was able to dodge that... And the Roman representative then leaves the summit room.
Put aside that minor nuissance, The Ambrakia Summit was sucessfully give the Ambrakia Protocol. Featured in this are international agreement to:
1. Commitments to try to reduce deforestation, and try not to exterminating the native 'barbarians' that try to defend the nature.
2. Commitments to try to recycle or properly treat the industry's harmful effects and emmisions, and try not to use any of them as siege weapons.
3. Commitments to try to reduce harmful substances in everyday's lives, including try to reduce weed consumption, and slave consumption.
4. Each signing factions need to give their annual report on how they treat the nature, and published internationally.
The Kart-Hadast's official oppinion on this matters are rather simple: "We'll press the lesser factions to sign this protocol, as they still need to learn how to properly treat the nature, and we also need a market, ecology-based protection to the import goods that flows into our country, to protect our Phoenician industries. But... If we reduce our industrial excess and emmision, that way, we also reduce our profit from their productions. That means less productivity, and also less income per capita to spend with weeds.... now, are you try to ban the weeds too? now **** the protocol! We're going home...." (Himilco, at the Ambrakia Summit)
Below this are the Signers of The Ambrakia Summit:
1. Epeiros
2. Lusotann
3. Aedui
4. Avernii
5. Sweboz
6. Casse
7. Getai
8. Sauromatae
9. Pontos
10. Saka Rauka
11. Hayasdan
12. Makedonia
13. Baktria
14. As Saby'n Wal Jau
15. Pahlava
16. Syrakousai
17. Massilia
18. Boii
19. Kyrene
20. Kydonia
21. Pergamon
22. Bosophoran
23. Mauryans
24. Numantia
25. Goidils
And this factions attend the summit, but Refuse to sign the protocol:
1. Kart-Hadast
2. SPQR
3. Arche Seleukeia
4. Ptolemaioi
5. Koinnon Hellenon
==============================================================
The Ambrakia summit's result, and how the international community will act on their violators, is undoubtly lead about the upcoming events that befall on those Kart-Hadastei, and their rivals too... Because the "refuse to sign" factions are certain strong and highly developed factions, the international pressures can't do anything to them, but certain thing, the non ratifiers press some of the lesser factions to ratify the protocol... Oh... the Ecology Paradigm....
PART 2 Finished...
OH AWESOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I check this forum again after hearing you write an AAR cutewolf, and hey... this kind of AAR are really SICKLY HUMOUROUS!!!!! :laugh4: as I see you twist today's issue into a terrible shape of EB AAR.... :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:
Well, I'll watch your progress.....:2thumbsup:
Jormungand
10-26-2009, 12:15
"Pyrrhos sent his diplomats to sent the letter and I was first think about bargain for some money... but I simply couldn't resist when their clothing reveals their smooth thighs and ass..."
I LOLed at that...
You are a very funny man, Mr. Bond!
Cute Wolf
10-26-2009, 14:06
It's nice to see some orgahs spare their time to read this AAR and give sole lol... :laugh4:
So I'll write the Part 3 and Part 4 faster..... just wait about the updates!...
Part 3 : Oh, The Democracy
Part 4 : Jebivjetar and Alien Conspiracy
Last edited by Ludens; Today at 04:44. Reason: language
? LOL ! ............ :laugh4:
What kind of language did cutewolf use? :inquisitive: I think he allready asterisked all those swearwords...? or did anyone offended by this AAR?
What kind of language did cutewolf use? :inquisitive: I think he allready asterisked all those swearwords...? or did anyone offended by this AAR?
They were only partially censored: the rules are that they should be fully asterisked.
Cute Wolf
10-28-2009, 08:55
Oh, The Democracy
Times goes by, since Jebivjetar comes and becomes the most prominent figure, that indirectly dictates the decisions that the Karthadastim senate made. But as you know, a life as a weed farmer ain't always on happy and high terms. Sometimes, Jebivjetar becomes soo bored that even his finest weed only doing a bit of improvement on his mind... because he was bored seein his weed fields grows, cut them, dry them and sold them... repeatedly for some consequentive years. Soon, after the Ambrakia summit that create the Ambrakia Protocol was come into effect in the Spring of 266 BC, his boringness is culminating so he start babbling 'philoshopical' things about politics when he goin high.
On the other side of the Kart-Hadast, the Old Shofet Mago was thinking about the improving education for future Kart-Hadast leaders, and his mind seems to imagine rome really wild things and improvements that could be done... but he only think about that when he was high. So, some of his advisor also think that this effects was the trance to a good philoshophical conditioning, and they have a good idea, why not asking Jebivejtar to lead the education reform in Kart-Hadast? So, at his first realization of the hidden potential that lies deep in Jebivjetar's mind, Mago summons some of his brightest advisors, and they made a visit into Jebivjetar's countryside palace. They come when the time is completely right (or wrong), as Jebivjetar is still high... and grumbling about how democracy sucks...
"Oh... he talks about democracy... the things that those Hellenic Philloshopers babbling about and always try to refine!!!" some of the Advisors said that. "The Gods must infest him with such degree of wisdom... Lord Mago... We think you allready got the right man to give some lectures on the akademia from now..."
And that's Why Jebivjetar is trusted to give this following lectures to some of the brightest of the sons of Kart-Hadast nobilities this day.
(Jebivjetar enter the classroom)
"Good morning boys! How are your high-time doin?!?"
"Awesooomeee Sir!!!!"
"Oh.. ok.... now just get relax, and listen to my story about what the Hellene call 'democracy', and don't forget to write your note... not burn it."
"Now, I heard your previous Hellene lecturers are allready given their opinions about democracy, but I'll start this by giving mine. Just look at this illustrations that I draw... here's the first"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic001.jpg
"And compare that with the second!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic002.jpg
"And now, I have a question... which is 'democracy'? Oh, who choose the first pic, and who choose the second pic? Well, whatever you choose, you know, they are both represent democracy in some forms."
"The first one, is the first dogma of democracy, as all of you can see, represent how democracy works at the peace time... you can see plusle, pikachu, and minun there... they have different charges stored in their body, and that represent some political views, either positive currents, alternating currents, or negative currents. The same goes for our great federation of Kart-Hadastei... we could have Barcids, Anti Barcids, and much more... but we are still friends, and every difference on the matters of opinion, must be resolved peacefully in peace time... that's why we, the upperclassmen, have a right to vote, and giving our part to our nation's development."
"But the second, is a really important second dogma when we face some kind of threat, either external or internally... If the executive body feels that some kind of traitors, or potential traitors start to grow from inside, and try to tearing up our unity... the strongest components, such as military, or tigger in this example, should try to eliminate that threat as quickly as possible, with all matters if necessary... then, the remaining components won't become distatisfied, and they'll be happy... look at their happy face after tigger killing pooh... Such dogma lies also in the Pre-Emptive strike doctrine that Kart-Hadast follows, as we often found some potential threat growing from outside, and we must smack them as quickly as possible."
"We have a lot of good example on our first dogma... we should look for our Shofet election that way... well, actually, Lord Mago hold the title "honorary Shofet" because he was doing something good before... but the real Shofet is Bomilkar this time... in the shofet election, we, the senators, propose some certain silly figures that we could dominate as a puppet, leaving the real power on my hands, and then, we choose to determine, which puppet is the stupidest to become a shofet. That's true... the silly Ha'Hamor is a real deal, because the lower classmen will think that his stuborness is a good proof on his indomitableness, while the upperclassmen saw that he didn't have any guts at all."
"The recent example of the second dogma is a better one, as at Iberian lands, Hadrusbal allready crushed some Iberian ecological resistance that block our trade route. There, we got their nerves broken as we raze their city to the ground, and sent their native inhabitants to our concentration camps, so we, Phoenicians, could fill their city with ourself, and some willingly collaborationist natives."
"The battle starts when some ecology-leader, headed by Eskutino, didn't want to remove their blocade on our trade route to Lusotann. Even we allready give our ultimatum and they only stand there, and start bubbling 'Freedom to Iberia! Freedom to Iberia, The Imperialist Kart-Hadast must Gone from our land!'... well, their bubbling was a certain sign of rebellion, and if this situation quickly escalate, the Ambrakia-Protocol signers, especially Epeiros and Sweboz, could then called for truce and try to drag us into a peace confrence, that in truth, has a hidden meaning of giving their freedom. Put aside their Makedonian affairs, Pyrrhos has innate lust to become the international peace maker, and that is another threat"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic003.jpg
"To made that matters on Iberia looks like just another rebel-quelling activity, we decide to use minimal Phoenician forces, and use our elite Iberian troopers as the primary 'silencer', with several collaborationist natives as a method to 'prove' international community, that their rebellion isn't justified by their own people."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic004.jpg
"First, after they see our troopers assembled, they try to continue their demonstration peacefully... so that's why we use our equites caetratii to skewer some of them, and rouse them into more violent actions, so we could report to the international community, if their meddlesome activity is irritatingly high, that the 'ecology activists' start to attack us first, and report the initial casualities by our equites caetratii as 'accident'."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic005.jpg
"So after they get some casualities, their cavalry start to give chase to our equites caetrati and some of our caetrati did become victim of their javelins... so we have our justification to use our heavier cavalry to crush them..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic006.jpg
"Hadrusbal also enjoy some sports, skewering the demonstrators with his personal bodyguards, of course, the international community won't be informed..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic007.jpg
"After that, our infantrymen advance and start to kill them in close combat... as we can expect, after we killed their leader, they start to flee and try to take shelter in nearby town..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic008.jpg
"So that's why we get a military justification to besiege the 'nature-loving' town of baikor... So, did you still remember about the speech that a lusotann boy give when the Ambrakia summit was started... that's it! The remaining ecological activists are atartin to lock themself in the town of Baikor, and our intelligence suggests that some Lusotann hands did play something in their activity, it looks like the Lusotann did support some troops to back up their ecological movements."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic009.jpg
"So we create some rams to slam our way through their pitiful palisades... and we did use 'collaborationist natives' once again, and everytime we got involved in Iberia, to give international justifications on our actions."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic010.jpg
"It looks like they are now more aggresive than we tought before, as they think they defend the bastion of nature-loving community... well **** the nature, because they start showering our troops with javelins!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic011.jpg
"But then, when their gate are broken... they quickly run to their home and try to disguise themself as harmless civilians..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic012.jpg
"And we decide to give them a nasty time... The one that still stand and fight openly are forced to fight against their own 'blood brothers' so they'll reluctant to fight, as these troops are the same militia as them... not the elites that they learn to hate."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic013.jpg
"While our elite troops proceed to slay their last leader, and hung his corpse at the central plaza... this was called 'morale reducing method' and contrary to the international opinion... they are valid tactics on battlefield"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic014.jpg
"So we cut them down... burn the city... kill everyone that didn't want to join us... and rape all the women there.... wait... no soldiers are reported to rape boys because there was Iberia, far - far away from the gay tolerating Romaioi and Hellenic cultures. Afterall we won the battle, and at the same time... undermine the international law... that it..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part03pic015.jpg
"That's why we could proudly call ourself a Democratic Nation of Kart-Hadastei"
PART 3 Finished
Jebivjetar
10-28-2009, 10:02
rofl mao ze ding dong :laugh4:
i got nothing to say except- :2thumbsup:
Wakakakakak........ I literally rolling on the floor reading those Part 3...... :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::oops:
It looks like you involve some kind of International political critics that way..... :embarassed:
But you're really crazy..... :laugh4:
Just watchout if someone will be offended :thumbsup:
Cute Wolf
10-28-2009, 11:29
rofl mao ze ding dong :laugh4:
i got nothing to say except- :2thumbsup:
heheh... just wait up till the 4th part comes... you'll abducted into alien spaceship.... :laugh4:
Just wait...... :thumbsup:
Wakakakakak........ I literally rolling on the floor reading those Part 3...... :laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::oops:
It looks like you involve some kind of International political critics that way..... :embarassed:
But you're really crazy..... :laugh4:
Just watchout if someone will be offended :thumbsup:
Eh? :sweatdrop:
Who'll be offended by this? I'm made sure that I didn't insult anyone particular with this aar.....
:whip:
"First, after they see our troopers assembled, they try to continue their demonstration peacefully... so that's why we use our equites caetratii to skewer some of them, and rouse them into more violent actions, so we could report to the international community, if their meddlesome activity is irritatingly high, that the 'ecology activists' start to attack us first, and report the initial casualities by our equites caetratii as 'accident'."
"So after they get some casualities, their cavalry start to give chase to our equites caetrati and some of our caetrati did become victim of their javelins... so we have our justification to use our heavier cavalry to crush them..."
"Hadrusbal also enjoy some sports, skewering the demonstrators with his personal bodyguards, of course, the international community won't be informed..."
"So we create some rams to slam our way through their pitiful palisades... and we did use 'collaborationist natives' once again, and everytime we got involved in Iberia, to give international justifications on our actions."
"And we decide to give them a nasty time... The one that still stand and fight openly are forced to fight against their own 'blood brothers' so they'll reluctant to fight, as these troops are the same militia as them... not the elites that they learn to hate."
Well, actually you did write some briliant (and somewhat o the point) critics toward today's issues... and now, I think this AAR is more than just a comedic AAR... This is comedic AAR laced with certain humanitarian, as well as philoshophical values..... :thumbsup:
I knew it, I knew it sooo much : Tigger is a Slogonez... He's a sweboz clubman that dictates democratie just in the sweboz way : with a bigger and studier club than others!!!
Just like other today's nations that, for the sake of friendship and respect, I won't name
Being a philosophe is hard today, as any Idea can ''harm'' somebody... as the saying goes : opinions can be dangerous!... pitty!
Hey cute wolf, that is juuuust great!
Sweboz activist! mouhahahahahahaha STOP BABY BURNING... Because of Baal we can't swim in our rivers anymore without finding a leg or an arm...
Here's a baloon! :balloon2:
Cute Wolf
10-29-2009, 16:18
Well, actually you did write some briliant (and somewhat o the point) critics toward today's issues... and now, I think this AAR is more than just a comedic AAR... This is comedic AAR laced with certain humanitarian, as well as philoshophical values..... :thumbsup:
Yeah yeah... I know.... I was a big fan of South Park, and I read many things about democracy and human rights too, and they are somewhat affecting my AAR in a certain way that understandable even by Cartman! :laugh4:
Hey cute wolf, that is juuuust great!
Sweboz activist! mouhahahahahahaha STOP BABY BURNING... Because of Baal we can't swim in our rivers anymore without finding a leg or an arm...
Here's a baloon! :balloon2:
LOL! you sound like a mix of Greenpeace and Anti Abortion activist man! Of course... the Sweboz prefers men to be killed in hot battles rather than burned away as infant! STOP BABY BURNING!!! :laugh4:
=========================
Next update is tommorow... just wait...
Lol, that's mean i'd fit well as a sweboz nature activist in your AAR!!! hahahahahaha :2thumbsup:
Jebivjetar
10-30-2009, 12:04
I simply enjoy this AAR, Cute Wolf. You're my man! :beam::smash::smash:
have this, my friend:
http://worriedlebanese.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/3d-balloons-screensaver.jpg
G. Septimus
10-30-2009, 15:55
I simply enjoy this AAR, Cute Wolf. You're my man! :beam::smash::smash:
have this, my friend:
http://worriedlebanese.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/3d-balloons-screensaver.jpg
OO My god!!!!!
how much baloons is in there!!!!
baloon heaven, man- baloon heaven!!!
well, if i could give you a baloon, I should give you one:balloon2:
Jebivjetar
10-30-2009, 16:23
Ok, i'm here just to say that in minute ago i spoke with Cute Wolf's hologram on facebook and he said that he couldn't update this AAR today due to some account-related problem.
This are his words:
Ow man... for some unknown reason, I couldn't give any reply to anything at the org today... as the login page says that another person is using my account!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH MY ORG ACCOUNT!?!?!? (Please... tell I say soory for this late update...)
I'm afraid his account has been hacked, man. :skull: :no:
I'm afraid his account has been hacked, man. :skull: :no:
In that case the best thing to do would be to e-mail TosaInu (his address is on the front page). If he can prove that the Cute Wolf account is his, Tosa can reset the password. However, as CW logged in a few hours ago without doing anything, I am not sure whether anything malicious is going on.
Cute Wolf
10-31-2009, 16:54
In that case the best thing to do would be to e-mail TosaInu (his address is on the front page). If he can prove that the Cute Wolf account is his, Tosa can reset the password. However, as CW logged in a few hours ago without doing anything, I am not sure whether anything malicious is going on.
Soory to made everyone wait for soo long and even I first start to speculate my account was hacked... No, actually I now post this using my friend's computer, outside of my campus' network area...
That was a job by some :daisy: :daisy: :daisy: on the informatics group that set a new firewall that made anyone from my university's network CAN'T POST ANYTHING ON MOST FORUMS! because some internal bad case of the students spreading something "evil" on another forums and we got complained. So to prevent that, the informatics group block acess to that forum (certainly not this org), and place heavy restriction to post on another VB based forum for some time (I also can't post anything on another forums too)
Don't worry, meanwhile, I can post that next sunday from a cafe hotspot instead.... :2thumbsup:
Thanks
Cute Wolf
Cute Wolf
11-01-2009, 12:04
Jebivjetar & The Alien Conspiracy!!!
Roma, The temple of Ivpiter... lies under it's basement are a secret chamber, guarded by elite of the elite Roman troops, and under that secret chamber, lies highly secret chamber who only a handful of high powered senatores and prominent nobility entered for discussing highly secretive matters of the Roman republic's affairs, and yet under that highly secret chamber... lies an extremely secret high tech room, made by foreign extraterrestial beings, contain some teleport tube for alien diplomats, and guarded by several automatic plasma gun controlled by highly intelligent AI. Only few high positioned men of the Roman republican office knows... and only three Men, the Pontifex Maximus, along with two consuls could enter that.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic001.jpg
The aliens are rumoured to take control of the time... they take indirect control on every major faction in an era... and after the Egyptian dynasty were replaced by those sister ******* Ptolemaioi, they start to take Roman Republic under their influence and to some extent "mind control". That's why, a stupid, barbaric people like those Romaioi are capable to do something that surpass their default level of intelligence, because when the Aliens try to took control on them... their Filthy Barbaropolis are upgraded into a major city, although still contain some of their Barbaricness, the aliens sucessfully teach those Romaioi to copy their more hellenized neighbours...
"So, the irregular flow of the dimensions we decect some years ago, has something to do with your great rival... the Republic of Kart-Hadast. It looks like they had some sort of involvement with that. Just look at the source of this irregular time wave that ends when the chrono vortex reaching the Kart-Hadast region." A Mysterious alien seen in the monitor said that to the Consul and Pontifex Maximus of SPQR, and as most of you can see, he's a grey alien... but how did he comes here? and what intent?
"Yes... we'll do as you ask... we'll try our best to harass the Karthadastim governance, and we'll try to extract as much information as possible sir!" the lone Roman, known as Pontifex Maximus replied directly.
"Well, first you must swear in the name of His Noddliness... The Flying Sphagetii Monster... to keep this information I'll about bring to you as a secret... understand?!?"
"In the name of His Noddliness... The Flying Sphagetii Monster... I swear that I wouldn't let my mouth spill the secret you'll about to tell me. If I couldn't keep my word... Pedobear will molest my ass!"
"So... did you know about this certain shady guy... a weed trader who de facto controlling the Karthadastim senate... Jebivjetar?"
"Oh... I know about him a bit... as he was the only weed trader in this era that was neither Persian descendants nor the Nomads... He was a really interesting stuff of guys... certainly has a lot of knowledge and a sharp mind in the art of war... but as far as we know... he only direct the Kart-Hadastim behind the scene... as he prefer spending his days with his weeds, his wine, and many women..."
"Hoo.... WWW.... Weed, Wine, and Women....... a really hedonistic guy eh?.... So Roman..... what did you think about bring him down?"
"Of course... he allready produce his own weeds.... the Iberians who Karthadastei rule produce much better wine than us... but he wouldn't ignore if we sent a beautiful girl to lure him into the vortex of time... generated by your ship... that's all I can think about..."
"Well... it looks like we also need to take down the empire of Kart-Hadast itself... Prepare your men on the Tiber river valley... and get some Tiberium to power up the teleport machine lies on that site... after that, I will guide the machine to send some of your men to bring a surprise attack on their colony that was dangerously close to Roma... the Alalia... and after that... we will teleport your force directly on their very edge of the City of Kart-Hadast itself... capture it by force when they try to sent their troops try to wrestle Alalia from us..."
"As you wish and we shall obey sir..."
And then... as you can expect... the romans assemble their troops on the side of Tiber river... and they start to initiate the mass teleportation procedure... the first thing was some Hastati and Leves sent to mine the Tiberium, and load it to obvious alien plattform... And high in the sky... the Aliens are watching the Romans finish their job...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic002.jpg
And after that this teleport assault force was ready... they are sent to Alalia, which at this time didn't have any guards at all... and quickly take that backyard town without any difficulty... in the process... they sent a declaration of war to the Kart-Hadastei...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic003.jpg
Meanwhile... back in the great city of Kart-Hadast.... Jebivjetar barca are now widely hailed as a great philosshoper, morale teacher, and narco guru... that even become more iconic as he often give speech in front of Kart-Hadast military force, and smoke in a charismatic manner... Many of the Iberians and Hellenes especially hail this narco guru with a speech befitted of him.... "Viva La Kart-Hadast!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic004.jpg
Honored almost as living god among the smoking Phoenicians, Iberians, and Hellenes... Jebivjetar manage himself to get a proper way of honourable living... mostly seen giving some philoshopical class, as well as botanical class to plant your own weeds to the upper-class Phoenicians and military force... and then indulge himself with many Weed, Wine, and Women... as befitted as the most notorious narco guru...
But then... the boringness of banging some women again - again and again... made Jebivjetar really bored and he try to get some new women to enter his harem... That night... he and Bomilkar goes to Atiqa's grand bazaar night club, in hope to found some new hottie to be pounded with lusts... But in other side of that hedonistic community, an alien girl, the agent X21+, wait Jebivjetar in the darkness. Unsurprisingly, when Jebivjetar comes near her... she called him....
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic005.jpg
"Loorrdd Jebivjetaaarrr........ remember meeee?"
"Oh man! what a pretty girl......... euh... did you know me.....?"
"Of course I did.... You bang me six month ago, when the Atiqa's new temple of Astrate was opened... I'm the holy prostitute that works there...."
"Ouw.... holy... ****.... you re really a hottie there.... come on... come to my place..... well, what about you Bomilkar?"
"Ehem... she's all yours... I think I will search for a food befitting to serve the Lord Pedobear..." Bomilkar calmly replies.
"Ouw... damn.... are you sayin that you're a Pedobear follower now, what the... what will Lord Baal say when he hear about that... he was omnipotent god, at least that I heard from those priests everytime I attend Baal's praise and worship?" Jebivjetar say that with a shocked face...
"Hey... just calm.... don't you know about the new cult of Baal-Pedobear? They're a cool new cult! You should try some..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic006.jpg
"Of course I know... that was a really sick cult... now back off or I'll... well, next time, I'll try to attend the Pedobear's praise and worship service... in which temple?"
"Just near the Kart-Hadast marketplace... Pedobear approves!"
"Well, just don't said that to those Sweboz ambassador who resides near there, as he often said STOP BABY BURNING!!! And then randomly club some libyan slaves to the dead... well, the Sweboz ambassador are quite eccentric."
"Yes, yes... I know him... as he often take a walk on the Grand Bazzar with nothing, just paint his body all black, and...."
"EXCUSE ME LORDS...... DID YOU WANNA TAKE ME ONE NIGHT STAND OR NOT?" The hot girls that they've ignored for a while said that loudly... because apparently she was ignored for a quite long time.
"Jebivjetar... just take her down and bang her... Leaving a holy prostitute waiting is not a good manner." Bomilkar said.
"Allright pal... now, we should part our way here, as I'll search for a love hotel here...."
And so, Jebivjetar and that hot girl (that was in fact an alien agent) take some rest on the nearby love hotel. As they've got inside and lock the doors, drink some wine, and close the windows... now the girl started to open her clothes one by one...
"Ouw.... dear... I just wanna too....."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic007.jpg
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jebivjetar suddenly screams as a mysterious ray just comes out and kidnap him to a some kind of flying saucer.... an Alien Spaceship!!!!!
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic008.jpg
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.
.
"Where am I... Ooppsss.... I forgot to take my clothes... ****!!!!!" Jebivjetar suddenly realized that he was lying on the spaceship's floor... naked.
But some kind of time vortex was opened in fron t of him, and he realize that he see another man... the more he see, that man is clearly resembles him... wearing heavy silver armour, and riding armoured horse, and even his thorax has the mighty Romaioktonoi symbol, really majestic posture to behold. Everything looks fine, except he carrying a wooden oak club, spiked with coarse and rusty iron.
"The Romans have ruined the time vortex... Fight them with me my friend... Kill them all!" that men said that to Jebivjetar.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic009.jpg
"Who... who are you... Ouw men... am I still high, I didn't touch my weeds yet!" Jebivjetar complied.
"Foolish junkie! I am you! I am yourself! Need more question? The mighty Pedobear has awaken me, your inner conciousness, and from there... you shall named Xanthipphos... and you will lead some Spartan bands of junkies to a mighty victory!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic010.jpg
"Huh... I am Xanthipphos? I heard Xanthippos are Hellen?"
"No, the crack the Romans made on the time vortex cause you to become the Xanthipphos... well, in reality, you remember what you did yesterday? You give a band of Spartan hippies free weeds as treat... and they want to honour your kindness by stand beside you and fight for you..."
"Ouw... so that's the truth?"
"Yes, you command some Spartan hippies!"
"And so, I'm not ridding any horse..."
"True... because this horse was only an Illusion... oh... the sweboz's club of time's power just faded... quick, take this club anbd smash this damn alien spaceship's windows, so you can escape with this jump jet suit!"
"Jump jet suit? Sweboz's club of time? And you're sent by the mighty pedobear? What the heck is happening here?"
"Just follow my orders stupid... I am yourself!" and then the mighty men vanished... leaving just a dirty and rusty spiked wooden club, along with a jump jet suit.
"Urgh.... what the ****" Jebivjetar thinks of that experience, and as he was still naked he quickly don the jump jet suit, he then screams like a Slagonez and smash one of the spaceship's window.
"HAIIIYAAAAA WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic011.jpg
And he quickly land on the right site of battle, as some Kart-Hadast's mercenary army still on duty, has somewhat been carried there by some spiritual means... and facing them are a mighty cohort of Roman army... ready to lay waste on Karthadastim land!
"Oh... that's the lord Jebivjetar... We can fight now! We will win!!! Horayyy!!!!!!!!" A glorious, mighty speech culminating when he change his jump jet suits into full body armour and stand beside the Spartan hippies who adress him as lord Xanthipphos (apparently Xanthipphos was some kind of name he randomly blurbs when he's high).
And before he assemble the troops, the sky opens and a mighty figure in the form of Bear comes down... It's Pedobear!
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic012.jpg
"Hiya... I choose you Jebivjetar... You must crush those Romans! as they are the Flying Sphagetti monster's followers!"
"But I never worship you before Pedobear?!? What the heck you are coming and command me?"
"Oh, you don't know that I and Baal are one entity? So you know the truth now... Why the babies and childrens are roasted to become my offerings.... I love to eat them as well done steaks"
"Ouw...."
"But I'm just recently opened my cover, and inspire some priests to opened the first temple of the cult of Baal-Pedobear.... so do my command! or I smack your head!"
"As you wish lord...." and Jebivjetar start the battle!
As usual, the skirmisher cavalry sent forward, and lure the Roman Eqvites to their doom at Jebijevtar's spartan Hippies pointy sticks...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic013.jpg
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic014.jpg
With the Roman cavalry shattered... the Liby Phoenician cavalry now take on the offensive...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic015.jpg
As they slam their spears right onto a line made of hastati.... ouch! That must hurt the Romans a lot....!
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic016.jpg
Bored of being killed without any chance of retalition, the Roman lines advance! but the Numidian archers stand ready and relase their volleys of flaming arrows toward them...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic017.jpg
So great that the dread Jebivjetar give the Romans... that their line start to falter, even before most of them make contact with their enemies... the Roman Hastati (who allready suffer heavy casualities, thanks to the Liby Phoenician cavalry) start to rout first, and never come back!
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic018.jpg
And so, with some slams of cavalry to their side and back, the Roman teleport invasion force was entirely defeated today...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic019.jpg
And after that... Pedobear, the true lord Baal, smiles in the sky....
- Now back to Roma -
"How did this lose comes! I think the soldiers you sent to smack those Kart-Hadastim are enough! I've never heard a full fledged infasion force was beaten by a band of mercs that has only half their strength!" The Mysterious Alien on the monitors angered as he heard about the sore loss the Roman had...
"But... I know this wasn't your fault either..." Those aliens are speaking to frightened Pontifex Maximus.... "It was the Flying Sphagetti Monster's rival... the Pedobear, behind all of this failure.... and for worse, Pedobear has reveal himself as his incarnation... he tells them that he was Baal..."
"Oh... forgive me lord.... For the Flying Sphagetti Monster's Nodliness Grace... we shall try again..." The Pontifex Maximus said that while he still cowers and covered all by cold sweats...
"No... next time I fought against them... I'll sent unit from the imperial time to take care of them... that's easy for us... just create a chrono vortex and start inputting create_unit! Beware Kart-Hadastim... this is not the last.... This was only THE BEGINNING!!!!"
Part 4 finished
Jebivjetar
11-01-2009, 14:10
Man! Wolf! O MAN !! Omg i don't know what to say... but: this update is so god damn cool so i must throw myself through the window just to calm down a bit! :smash: Your ideas made my brain so :dizzy2::2thumbsup::beam::clown::smash::dizzy2: so i laugh like a maniac! i just have to put my head in some ice because my brains will explode due to hot temperature!!! :smash:
this is how i look like: :clown:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eFZdKbCwBRY/Rk_klwyJrDI/AAAAAAAACyk/_eyAxdV-1bA/s400/madman.png
MAN I WANT TO MARRY YOU!!!! :idea2: :laugh4:~:joker::bounce:
i dont know... man... and your fotoshops made me :laughinglunatic:
AAAAHHHahahahAHAHAHABUHAHAHABUaaAA AAA BUAAAAA HAHAHAHAAHBHAGHAAAWAAAGGGHHHWAAAAAAAA I IDEEEEEEEE UMRIJET ĆU!!! BUHAHHAahaHAHA
Cute Wolf
11-01-2009, 14:33
MAN I WANT TO MARRY YOU!!!! :idea2: :laugh4:~:joker::bounce:
Ok.... the Senate will sent you on their death Kerkuroi fleet because they are blatant conservative politician and they dissaproove :daisy:. I allready have Hadrusbal executed that way.......:laugh4:
Just joking.... eheh..... :clown: :bounce:
So, who's the next Romaioktonoi member want to teleported back in this story? :laugh4:
But this time, I need someone who wanna take a role as "Anti Weed Movement" leader..... If anyone doesn't so I'll teleport myself.... (I'll pick the first poster)
Skullheadhq
11-01-2009, 19:32
Lol the Karthadastei worship Pedobear as well??
A balloon for both Lykos and Jeb the dealer.
first temple of the cult of Baal-Pedobear.... so do my command! or I molest you!"
Sarap - sarap - sarap...... makin lama lu makin sarap bikin nih cerita...... tobat mas... tobattt...... :laugh4: lu bikin aneh - aneh bangettt sich? Oh ya... ngomong - ngomong, AI3 disini post-ban nya udah diangkat, sekarang udah bisa langsung ngepos dari ITB... tapi gw mau saranin sich, sebelumnya lu lebih baik lihat ceritanya punya orang - orang lain... yang sarap kaya gini di seluruh forum EB cuman lu deh....
Well, those stories made me crazy.... :laugh4::wall:
Moar - moar - moar .... or Pedobear will molest you! :smash:
Uh, yeah.... I just can't resist to not post this!!!
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/3/3f/Pedobear_4_versions.jpg/500px-Pedobear_4_versions.jpg
Since that time Kart-Hadast will be much older than 1900 era.... why did the Pedobear looks so modern?
Oh yeah... I think Jebivjetar will be this after completing the course of this AAR!!!
http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/14060/small/Pedobear_poster_2_by_run_it_bam14.png?1251765754
And... you forgot to add:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/8/89/Pl-pedo-bear.png/150px-Pl-pedo-bear.png
G. Septimus
11-02-2009, 09:59
Sarap - sarap - sarap...... makin lama lu makin sarap bikin nih cerita...... tobat mas... tobattt...... :laugh4: lu bikin aneh - aneh bangettt sich? Oh ya... ngomong - ngomong, AI3 disini post-ban nya udah diangkat, sekarang udah bisa langsung ngepos dari ITB... tapi gw mau saranin sich, sebelumnya lu lebih baik lihat ceritanya punya orang - orang lain... yang sarap kaya gini di seluruh forum EB cuman lu deh....
Well, those stories made me crazy.... :laugh4::wall:
Moar - moar - moar .... or Pedobear will molest you! :smash:
yoi, Cute Wolf tukang bikin AAR yg paling gila!!!!:dizzy2:
These stories make me Crazy to:dizzy2:. Why do the romans would have help from the aliens?????
AAARRGGHHH!!!:wall::furious3: ORG GILA DI fORUM!!!! ORANG GILA!!!!!!:clown:
yoi, Cute Wolf tukang bikin AAR yg paling gila!!!!:dizzy2:
These stories make me Crazy to:dizzy2:. Why do the romans would have help from the aliens?????
AAARRGGHHH!!!:wall::furious3: ORG GILA DI fORUM!!!! ORANG GILA!!!!!!:clown:
Karena dia bikinnya gila, daripada ntar dianggap ngejunk disini, mending diomongin di grup Indo sendiri yah... gw buatin rubrik khusus bwt bahas cerita - cerita gitu...
But anyway, this pic Rulez! That alien are frightening enough, but the comment are more frightening... It looks like the aliens were something like that title... conspiracy.... ouw.... you say this AAR is short stories, but I think this AAR become a really stranded with several plots and loopholes....
Such as when the cutewolf said that Hadrusbal is executed for ... but in his first story there was Hamalcar..... hehehe... allready found one loophole....
BTW :thumbsup: :egypt:
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic002.jpg
Cute Wolf
11-03-2009, 06:25
Lol the Karthadastei worship Pedobear as well??
A balloon for both Lykos and Jeb the dealer.
Thanks... now I want to drive out most coarse jokes here, and I need an Anti-Weed patron.... So I'll ask you about accepting your role as a youth who want to reform the morale of Kart-Hadast Government, Himilco... I'll give a background story befitting of you... are u accept or not? (The reason is I think I've gonna with Pedobear jokes too far.... Even now I think about Pedobear's position were replaced by Pikachu.... so basically you're pikachu cult leader.... ) Accept or not?
Skullheadhq
11-03-2009, 12:15
Sure, I'd like it, let's get those sodomizing senators :laugh4:
Cute Wolf
11-03-2009, 16:30
Ok guys, from this time, the Junkie faction led by Jebivjetar got a new challanger faction inspired by a Hellenic philoshoper that spread his influence over some of the cleaner members of the Kart-Hadastim... A Ballon for Skullheadq :balloon2: is given.... (Actually from this time on, I'll planning the coup'd etat on Pedobear, so the Baal-Pikachu that emphasizes cleaner life and better society lives on!)
White Heart Rising, The Liberation Of Rhegion.
"This morning, the sun has arisen... leaving a trail of beautiful red shine, goes up to the heaven, giving warmth and life to all the humanity... Uh, yeah... I think I was too carried off with those beautiful scenery outta here... Well, I am just thinking about the nature, whick I was soo long forgot from my childhood times because I was trapped in the weed addiction... But at least, thanks to the rarity of weeds here, and my academic mentor, Skullheadq, who spent a lot of his time in group counseling and he somehow cures my addiction... My consciousness is back, and my brain has become clear again... I am Himilco, your new leader here... in the mighty task to liberate the Rhegion from those Roman Deserters... Well, we've got some work to do, as we must hold our siege for some time, after Hamalcar was sentenced to death because the senate discovered his shameful secret..." Himilco said that to the soldiers that
gathers in the Rhagion countryside, most men are libyan veterans, with some Lucanians supporting.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic001.jpg
"Yeas, I know that what treachery, or luck, goes in this mad scheme of global war and rivalry, as we just get a word that those Flying Sphagetti Monster worshipers, the Romans, has just sign the Alliance pact with Makedonia, and now, the Romans are seen sending their legions to battle the Epeirotes on the Behalf of their Makedonian allies now..."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic002.jpg
"But not only that, because of that circumstance, the Romans seems to abandon their plan to capture Rhegion, and now we stand here, to liberate the city of Rhegion from those bandits and scoundrels, made of Roman deserters, to the wellness of the good citizens of Rhegion. Even though they maybe didn't welcome us well, I am very certain that one or two goodwill in the form of hanging Roman heads above Rhegion's plaza will bring the entire city to support us in this war... and as you can see... The Hellene kingom of Epeiros just recently sent their diplomat to ask for Alliance with us, If we didn't get Hamalcar as the governor of Messana that time, I'm sure that we'll accept their alliance, but with his cloudy brain and impaired morale, Hamalcar refuse those diplomats and start raping two of them... of course, his Immoral behaviours get the senate's attention, and he was quickly recalled and then sentenced to the death, boarding lone ship without anything else..."
"But lord... I heard that those new Issues... that Lord Hadrusbal also faced capital punishment... Is that true lord?" A man of Libyan-Iberian descend suddenly ask for that matter.
"I don't know... maybe the Senate has write the wrong name on their newspapers... let me see... I know that you just read the 'Lykos Daily News' but apparently, the writer made a mistake, and before he got any typo, the senate decide to just let the misinformation flows... it looks like that Hadrusbal also had some corruption problem in Iberia... if he doesn't clean that... I'm pretty sure, our junkie senate will throw the capital punishment on Hadrusbal too..." Himilco then replies.
"Ouw... capital punishment for everyone doing something wrong according to the Senate's morale? That's pretty nasty...." many soldiers grumbled hearing that unnerving news of how the Kart-Hadastim senate, now influenced under the benovalent rule of a weed lord, Jebivjetar.
"But I have a better Idea.... after this battle on Rhegion... I will tear down the Temple of Baal-Pedobear, and place Baal-Pikachu intead of that... Did you want to hear that interesting story on how I meet a prophet claiming that Pedobear is not Baal, and my mentor Skullheadq says that we should intead worship Baal-Pikachu?!? But first thing we should do is liberate Rhegions from the Romans and set a good government inside... then, I have a dream to bring a White Heart to all the Phoenicians, so they'll spent their time doing much useful things, not only just smoking weeds!"
"Onward my comrades... and today, we shall start our Assault on Rhegion!!!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic003.jpg
"First... Lucanians... sent out your javelins and pepper those filthy romans inside! Your skill should sent them running like frightened dogs, and most of their cowards shall abandon their duty to defend the breaches, so our comrades can have much better deal in melee against them.."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic004.jpg
"Oh yes... I allready heard that those cowards run away from their walls..... Now Comrades.... take the gate with our ram! Hey... don't be confused with that goat... look for those wooden rams with frames.... hey... don't place the wrong point to ram!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic005.jpg
"Well, the gate is broken comrades! Let's assault the breach and cut down everyone that lies inside... remember, this is a liberation mission, every kind of rape, pillage, and thievery will be harshly punished by capital punishment by hanging upside down and throwing cactus on that criminal.... don't harm the civilians! and spare everyone that surrender!"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic006.jpg
After some hard time together pushing those Roman deserters, Himilco's troops finally get the vital chokepoint to push the Rhegion occupation force's leader, Avulvs, to surrender himself...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic007.jpg
"We've come to liberate this war-torn city... just drop your weapon and you'll be spared!"
"Nonsense... You must be one that the Pedobear sent to annihilate us, or the Flying Sphagetti Monster sent you to punish us!"
"No... I disapprove both of those evil gods... I worship one True God... The Baal-Pikachu.... I dissaprove cruelty to anyone and we should do this as peacefully as possible..."
"Really? So you worship the Merciful Baal-Pikachu too? Oh.... Sure! We've friends afterall... I personally loathe those Romaioi Barbaroi!"
"Huh... so you are..."
"A hellen, more precisely, half Hellen - half Roman.... As my father did counterfeit his ID card to marry my mother, and act as if he was a Roman...."
"Ok.... everyone.... stop fighting..... we've at peace now.... now treat the wounded and give the civilians an explaination of today's actions... we're stop fighting now... as those men also worship Baal-Pikachu...."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part05Pic008.jpg
And so... after that liberation battles, everyone who assumed dead in the battle, mostly are just knocked out and treated in the hospital, and both Avlvs and Himilco is seen talking something about the recent Politics between them... It looks like they had share a mentor, named Skullheadq, who emphasize humanitarian and social values, as well as worshipping the merciful Baal-Pikachu.... what lies next... History will tell...
:pokemon:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/5/5a/POKEMONbright.jpg/280px-POKEMONbright.jpg
Part 05 Finished
Skullheadhq
11-03-2009, 17:01
Indeed, worship Baal-Pikachu or BURN!
Sure, I'd like it, let's get those sodomizing senators :laugh4:
:inquisitive:
Mind the language rules, please.
Jebivjetar
11-03-2009, 18:59
so no more Baal-Pedobear? :dizzy2:
well, every god has his end sooner or later, i guess... :juggle2:
Mr Polska
11-03-2009, 21:57
I'm sure there's room for both...
Why Baal-Pikachu, not Baal-Blaziken or Baal-Empoleon? :pokemon:
Cute Wolf
11-03-2009, 22:27
Well - well, I remove Baal-Pedobear on the scene gradually (Part 6 & Part 7 are the coup'd etat chapters), and Part 8 are the Burning of Barbaropolis..... or some kind of barbaropolis destruction by Jebivjetar-led army squad... Actually, I used Pedobear as comparison with Kart-Hadast's rumoured child sacrifice rituals, but then, the Rituals become soon obsolete, and I want to emphazise the removal of those inhumane rituals, by removing Baal-Pedobear and replace him with Baal-Pikachu, of course both are claimed to be the one true baal....
Why Baal-Pikachu, not Baal-Blaziken or Baal-Empoleon? :pokemon:
Pikachu = Thunderbolt, Thunder, Quick Attack, Double Team
without any TM used, if equipped with light ball, could become moar powerful
With Blaziken, you need Flamethrower TM, and With Empoleon, you'll be easily electrocuted with my Pikachu! :pokemon: Pikachu rules!
This thread is disturbing on so many levels.
the man with no name
11-04-2009, 02:56
Speaking of pot, i found out today that when i went trick or treating i got a candy called Mary Jane :laugh4::laugh4: I intend to put a picture of it on here, on my facebook, and on failblog.
Skullheadhq
11-04-2009, 12:18
This thread is disturbing on so many levels.
So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.
So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.
Actually, this AAR is about over satirizing jokes mix with crazy comments and well, some will say - rude jokes, because the writer in the last month got something awful, culminating in the last week and until today, I think he still need to cool his head because of his broken heart. Good things he doesn't talk about the very topic that made him this mad openly...
Cute Wolf
11-04-2009, 15:18
This thread is disturbing on so many levels.
Well, I hope you'll like the part 5 forward, as I will try to use much cleaner jokes, but will be as funny:clown:
Actually, this AAR is about over satirizing jokes mix with crazy comments and well, some will say - rude jokes, because the writer in the last month got something awful, culminating in the last week and until today, I think he still need to cool his head because of his broken heart. Good things he doesn't talk about the very topic that made him this mad openly...
:furious3: Oh! You owe me two can of Beer for that! :smash:
So dont read it, Mr Ice.
You don't have to read it if you don't like aliens, Pedobears, Pokemon and pot.
Skullhead,
-I read Cute Wolf's first couple posts and did not read the rest of thread. I only know of this thread because he announced it in the backroom. I suppose you would call it morbid curiosity.
-I like aliens
-Can't say I like Pedobaears and Pokemon
-I enjoy cannabis (btw, when you say "high on weeds" you sound rather stupid)
That is all, but hey thanks for the suggestions.
Skullheadhq
11-05-2009, 12:56
Skullhead,
-I read Cute Wolf's first couple posts and did not read the rest of thread. I only know of this thread because he announced it in the backroom. I suppose you would call it morbid curiosity.
-I like aliens
-Can't say I like Pedobaears and Pokemon
-I enjoy cannabis (btw, when you say "high on weeds" you sound rather stupid)
That is all, but hey thanks for the suggestions.
kay, always glad to help.
G. Septimus
11-05-2009, 14:31
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part04Pic002.jpg
hehahahaha, Good pic :2thumbsup:
Skullheadhq
11-07-2009, 10:58
Lazy Wolf, we need an update NOW! :whip:
Cute Wolf
11-08-2009, 12:40
The Grim Truth
"Lord Jebivjetar.... Our spy just get a new report from Barbaropolis.... quick, take a look!" A frightful messenger suddenly broke into Jebivjetar's private mansion.
"What did you carry? A new girl who give those Roman senatores a handjob accidentally pull that thing too hard and amputate the old senator?" Jebivjetar replied when he's still half conscious.
"No lord... it's about us... the allmighty lord Baal-Pedobear!!!! Please look lord.... It was emergency news!!!"
"Let me see....."
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/albums/thumbs/1/9bb426342469d6837b94c955fe32ae2f_1926.jpg?dl=1257680928
"OH MAN WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON!!!" Jebivjetar suddenly snapped out of his confusion, realize the figure that shown before him...
"Well, lord... according to our intelligence there... we spot Baal-Pedobear appear out of the thin air in the middle of the Roman forums... then an alien saucer descends and some of them then greet the Baal-Pedobear. And at first we didn't believe what did we see... Baal-Pedobear then rips his upper body's kin and reveal that he was actually Marcus Vanilla... rumoured as the second in command of the Flying Sphagetii Monster...
"Ouw.... ****.... are you sure this was a real Baal-Pedobear? I still don't believe it... well, I want to get some contact with Himilco!!! at least he was positioned near the Romans so we can get some background information for this grim truth... Servant!!!! Give me my cell-phone!!!"
"And now... where is that damn phone....!!!!"
Now, we leave the scene of shocked Jebivjetar for some sight in the Himilco's perspective, there, at the Rhegion, he has suceeded to built a temple for the Baal-Pikachu... apparently the Real Baal because he let his worshippers enter him and praise him from the inside. Meanwhile, at the same site, the grand philloshoper Skullheadq arrive, gaining much fame immediately. And he start preaching about philoshopy, loves, and peace...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic002.jpg
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic003.jpg
Just a bit far from Rhegion, Himilco is seen at the Syrakousai's edge... oveersee the construction of some siege engines. There, he planned to assault Syrakousai and avenge his uncle, Hamalcar...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic004.jpg
The battle, as usual, starts with missile duels between Numidian archers and the remaining Syrakousan resistance... many victims fell in both side, but those prolonged exposure has is use to protect the Kart-Hadast assault infantry from their arrows.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic005.jpg
"Men... Bring the towers and scale the walls! It's time to them to taste our steel and our sweats!" and two gigantic siege tower was pushed to the walls and the Iberians start scale the walls. Very soon, they reach their destination, and put a quick work on all defenders that was parked on the walls. At the very same time, the Libyans has sucessfully undermine a section of the walls and gaining enterance, thus trapping most of the Syrakousan Soldiers trapped on top of their walls, facing a lot of pissed off Iberians.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic006.jpg
The Libyan quickly take advantage of the ensuing chaos and push themself to drove the last "real" Syrakousai defenders, as well as gaining firm foothold at the Syrakousai. After bloody fights that has greatly weaken the Syrakousi Hoplitai, Himilco and his bodyguards charge forward and drove out the defenders running to their town center. Not a surprise to see many of them screaming with fears, seddned by the prospects of getting their families killed and their pets raped, as they allready know the tale of Hamalcar's madness.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic007.jpg
Himilco just running into the Town Square where he found Hiero kneels and beg mercy on him. "Please young one... let us life... we'll become your slaves, but please... at least, spare the women and childrens... just take us, the men, who carry on the fight everything we must face..." That words from the old Hiero touch Himilco deeply... and without his control, he start shedding out tears, remember about the casualities on his side too.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic008.jpg
"Old man... today, I won't kill anymore of you, nor loot anything from you... Just give me mere 1203 minai to get the governmental system installed again, and we did not want to do any harm to your property, just accept that you are now conquered, but I do envy that you once drove out my uncle's men. That's all, for the Baal-Pikachu is merciful and fell everyone's pain and passion. So I must equal His mercy and passion."
"huh... you... you... worship.... Baal-Pikachu.... NOT BAAL-PEDOBEAR!?!.... Oh thanks Zeus... at least today we've spared from utter destruction, that Baal-Pedobear usually get in his path of Madness.... let me tell you, young one... I'll reveal to you a secret, that's origin is thousands of years ago... abut how Baal-Pedobear get the rightful position of Baal-Pikachu, and start the evil old-Religion of yourself, that has a lot of Child abuse, sexual orgy, and much more despicable deeds."
"But first, we must treat the wounded and bury the victims of war..."
"Oh yeah... we'll help as much as we can... but this night... come to my palace and I shall reveal you the truth..."
And then, that day's carnage is over... allthough some of the soldiers grumbled about the lack of women and loot, they're at least relieved now that instead of getting paid by loots, Himilco start to paid the soldiers in a fixed rate of wage each season. And because of the lack of women, some syrakousan aritsts were ordered to create a big picture of naked women, and let the soldiers jerking off on top of that picture... partially statisfy teh need of women.
Suddenly after some times seeing the green scenery on the countryside (rather than seeing thousands men jerking off), Hamalcar feels something vibrated under his clothes...
"Rrrrr.... rrrrrr...... rrr...."
"Oh... my cell phone.... who the heck calling me this time? Oh... It's lord Jebivjetar... maybe he want to give another shipload of weed... but for the goodness' sake, I'll refuse that this time..." And Hamalcar press the off button.
"Holy ****! that kid turn off the Phone..." a loud swears are heard in all Kart-Hadast and Atiqa.
"I better get myself on the truth now, better meet with Hiero now..." Hamalcar talk to himself and quickly rode his horse toward Hiero's palace.
As soon as possible, he see the old Basileus of Syrakousai sit in front of the Town center, and after some formal talks, the two now goes downstairs to a secreat chamber, full of hieroglyphic artifacts and modern tools, that apparently out of use because lack of electricity...
"Woow, I never tought that I'll see those things in this age... men... it was soo cool..."
"Silence young one... now, we'll see the secret of The Gods... about our god, that unluckily we also share with those romaioi barbaroi, Zeus Ivpiter The Tesla Trooper, and your true god, that is Baal-Raichu..."
"Raichu? What the... wait, Ash ketchum never envolve his Pikachu..."
"Damn! Forgot those Pokemon story, aren't you know that the entire Pokemon series was based on a true event such as this..." and Hiero shown Himilco a really shocking Image of ancient war of the Gods.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic009.jpg
"As you can see, Zeus Ivpiter is a tesla trooper, and he gains his power in two ways, either he use coals and oils to get his generators running, or let Baal-Raichu charges them... And before that time Happened, Marcus Vanilla is the deputy of Flying Sphagetti monsters that gain a lot of control to a barbarian Tribe of the not so far north, the Romaioi... And as they build their most nasty plot, Mercus Vanilla was sent to deal with our electric type-gods, as you can see, Marcus Vanilla allready absorbed Ursaring, and Marcus Vanilla itself is Psychic-type god. So, the Normal-Psychic type vs two Electric type. Nobody had an advantage by type, but despite outnumbered, Marcus Vanilla's level are too high to tackle."
"The battle is long, but this was merely a battle for survival for our two gods... as Marcus Vanilla's Barbarus Psi wave finally fainted our gods. The Zeus Ivpiter admit his defeat, and Marcus Vanilla spare him, but the Baal-Raichu refuse to surrender and at try to sacrifice himself with using his last power to do a volt tackle against Marcus Vanilla. As you can see, the volt tackle does work, but instead of Killing him... Marcus Vanilla sent out a curse and devolve Baal-Raichu into Baal-Pikacu... as he knows that only one more Thunderstone exist in this universe."
"......." Hamalcar stand spechless at the relevation of what really happened...
And at the same time, Skullheadq want to tell the truth on Jebivjetar, and relase The Pikachu from his personal pokeball, than the little pikachu found his way up to jebivjetar's palace...
"What's this rodent want to do in my palace!!!! Servant..! Kill it!!!" Jebivjetar ordered his unlucky servants to smack the Pikachu with anything, but despite desperate attempt to smack him, the Pikachu simply knock out the servants one by one with his thundershock. And the angered Jebivjetar then forcefully grab Pikachu with his hands, try to neglect the pain caused by the sting of electricity (partially because he was high that time).
But the Pikachu repeatedly said "Please believe me Jebivjetar... I'm the real Baal... Please believe me.... The Baal-Pedobear is trying to use you for his own evil scheme..... PIKA!!!!"
"What you say rodent... all mumbling pikipika chupikipi chu kachupi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika kachu chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu chukipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pipi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi... speak clearly you...."
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part06Pic010.jpg
And what will happened next? You can guess...
Part 06 finished
Jebivjetar
11-08-2009, 16:51
ok i think i have to do some brain self-surgery because some cells in my head explode while i read this. great job, Wolf and thank you! :clown::smash::2thumbsup:
Marcus Vanilla fused with Pedobear? Or did Pedobear doesn't exist at all (just the fictive character that Marcus Vanilla create? Or did Pedobear was the Alter ego of Marcus Vanilla? It goes too confusing...
I confused and laugh all the way.....:smash::2thumbsup::laugh4::juggle2::idea2:
Cute Wolf
11-09-2009, 06:22
Marcus Vanilla fused with Pedobear? Or did Pedobear doesn't exist at all (just the fictive character that Marcus Vanilla create? Or did Pedobear was the Alter ego of Marcus Vanilla? It goes too confusing...
I confused and laugh all the way.....:smash::2thumbsup::laugh4::juggle2::idea2:
Just follow the storyline.... and now I announce that Chapter 7 will reveal any plot behind.... :thumbsup:
Just support Baal-Pikachu :pokemon: in his quest with Jebivjetar, Skullheadq, and Himilco to found the Thunderstone and restore his greatness!!!
Oh yeah.... Part 8 is the destruction of Barbaropolis, or some kind of it.... :2thumbsup:
gamegeek2
11-10-2009, 04:18
I can lend random Aramaic, if that's wanted. Even though the Qarthadastim spoke Punic :D
I can lend random Aramaic, if that's wanted. Even though the Qarthadastim spoke Punic :D
Just curious, what kind of Aramaic swearing that Jebivjetar and Skullhedq will use on their adventures?:laugh4:
"Well, just don't said that to those Sweboz ambassador who resides near there, as he often said STOP BABY BURNING!!! And then randomly club some libyan slaves to the dead... well, the Sweboz ambassador are quite eccentric."
"Yes, yes... I know him... as he often take a walk on the Grand Bazzar with nothing, just paint his body all black, and...."
Sweboz ambassador, laying on his spiked club, red from lybian blood, standing behind their back : HEM HEM... Do I bother you, my ''Lord''? Or maybe my manner bothers you (sais he, tapping his club from the tip of his fingers!) i can help you fulfilling your duty regarding baal-pedobear... with the tip of this spiked club, for example... :whip:
Cute Wolf
11-13-2009, 15:58
Heheh... It looks like you have to wear your pants first sir, because we doen't guarantee if your little jhonny was impaled or sliced. After that, if you want to join our force to defeat the Aliens, maybe you should get your heavy chainmail and fight as Thanoz Druguloz, rather than Wothiz Watha...
============================================
Udate coming next sunday... :laugh4: Part 7: Impostor Down Syndrome, What the...
Heheh... It looks like you have to wear your pants first sir, because we doen't guarantee if your little jhonny was impaled or sliced. After that, if you want to join our force to defeat the Aliens, maybe you should get your heavy chainmail and fight as Thanoz Druguloz, rather than Wothiz Watha...
============================================
Udate coming next sunday... :laugh4: Part 7: Impostor Down Syndrome, What the...
To wear clothes would mean renounce to the cult of fertility of Freja, deity wich we feast by the solemn (and somewhat pleasant) orgy ritual and honor her by running nude on the front line! :smash:
YES BROTHERS, let's show those barbaroi that it's not the lenght, but how we use it that count... (ups, wrong speach) hem hem... :sweatdrop:
We shall join your cause and together, we shall end the Alien dominion over this world and impose the rule of Kart-Hadast (who, we are sure, will gracefully remember the Sweboz contribution and thanks them with generosity)
We shall hold concel between the Sweboz chiefs to know weather or not we shall put on cowardly armours, but conveniant for the sight of our allies, or if we shall run on the path of heroism and shout NO to the clothes oppression.
We shall keep you informed from the later decision about that matter.
With all consideration, dear ally, we hope to join our forces to yours and together vinquish the Barbaroi.
Respect
Duguntz, sweboz ambassador
Skullheadhq
11-13-2009, 19:12
So, to made something clear, I disapprove the usage of weeds because they'll made someone start blurbing crazy stuff
So, that's the fun of it, right?
WHOOOPS!
*Philosopher voice on*
And remember children, DONT DO DRUGS!
What you say to your children when comes the (inevitable) discussion on weed if you already did (or still do) :
Weed? pfff, you smoke some, and you laugh, you laugh, you laugh, everything is funny! :laugh4:
Then you eat, eat, eat : everything is sooo good :2thumbsup:
then you're sooo relax, relax
and after you sleep soooooo well... :yes:
but don't do drug, it's bad :thumbsdown:
Cute Wolf
11-15-2009, 14:53
Impostor Down Syndrome! What the...
A month after Jebivjetar meet the Pikachu. As the time goes by, he was more and more intriqued by the appearance of this mystic beast, and he was almost going insane hearing its everyday mumbilng "pikipika chupikipi chu kachupi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika pichu... chupikipi chu pikapika kachu chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi... pika chu pikapi pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu chukipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu pikapika chu chukapi pikipika chupikipi chu chukapi..."
"Ouch... this rat is made me crazy everytime it start mumbling... Hoo... I allready ask the Scholar Skullheadq about this rodent, but he only smiles and said that I must get the enlightment myself, So... what is this rat? Anyone knows?" Jebivjetar asked to his subordinates.
"Honestly, I don't know about it lord... Maybe if Skullheadq refuse to explain about this rat, we should ask the Baal-Pedobear..." One of his subordinates answered.
"But before that Intel report was confirmed or denied, personally, I got intriqued by the appearance of Marcus Vanilla inside him... No... we shall wait for some..."
"What made your faith in me wavered o Narco guru..." Baal-Pedobear suddenly appeared in front of Jebivjetar.
"I... I... I just didn't know what should I do... I mean... you know that the intel report I receive just recently... In that report, you aren't baal at all... I mean... you are roman... Marcus Vanilla...."
"Enough of your foolishness human... You shall have your faith in me determined, and the more you ask about me, the more heretic are you... and heretic must be punished with death..."
"But.. but..."
"Kill the one who leave our cult... that's my law... we wage wars against those stupid romaioi... and I didn't tolerate foolishness among our ranks..."
"But lord... Himilco and Skullheadq said..."
"ENOUGH!!! NOW I ALLREADY UNLEASED MY CAPS LOCK FURRY!!! I WANT YOU TO FIND AND EXECUTE THOSE TWO LOUDMOUTHED..."
"But how about Baal-Pikachu? I mean, the small mysterious rodent that..."
"ABOUT THIS!?!? LOOK THE PIKACHU IS A FLYING SPHAGETTI MONSTER'S TRICK TO CREATE HERETICS BETWEEN MY FOLLOWERS... YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS RAT WAS ACTUALLY ROMAN RAT!!!" After said that, Baal-Pedobear then shown a shocking mental image of a pikachu...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part07pic001.jpg
"But why are you still on your caps lock furry?"
"BECAUSE I WAS MAD WITH YOU HUMAN!!! NOW KILL THEM BOTH, AND I SHALL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRE..."
"But I want to ask something... before we go and punish them... did you really a Marcus Vanilla inside..."
"STOP YOU... DONT MADE ME MAD!!!"
"But I want to ask something lord... before we go and punish them... did you really a Marcus Vanilla inside..."
"STOP YOU DAMMIT... DONT MADE ME MAD!!!"
"But I want to ask something lord Baal Pedobear... before we go and punish them... did you really a Marcus Vanilla inside you..."
"STOP YOU DAMMIT :daisy: :daisy: :daisy:... DONT MADE ME MAD you :daisy:!!!"
"but lord... I bet you aren't just a Bear without shame that goes arround without any clothes, as you didn't have any wee-wee seen... it must be a costume and you are just a god donning a bear costume..."
"OH :daisy:... YOU HERETIC NOW YOU MUST DIE!!!" But before Baal-Pedobear running his curse, the small Pikachu, hidden in in Jebivjetar's hair (what the hell Jebivjetar put the Pikachu in his hair? maybe to eat some mites?) start glowing and then transform itself to a big, haired figure, at the very same time ripped off Jebivjetar from all his hair...
"Oh NO, :daisy:... now I am bald..." Jebivjetar curse asburdly when he start to realize that he becomes a bald man...
"HOO... YOU PIKACHU TRRANSFORM YOURSELF INTO A RIDICULOUS BEING AGAIN... NOW WE SHALL..."
But before many times relapsed, the transformed Pikachu quickly seized an axe from the nearby Dorkim Alupim guardsmen... And then He proceeds to sommersault and lay a killing blow... splitting the Pedobear before Pedobear could react.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part07Pic002.jpg
"Oh my God, You kill Baal!" Jebivjetar screams, followed by all the present Dorkim Alupim guard said "You Bastard!!!"
.
.
.
And when Jebivjetar proceed to get close to Pedobear's corpse, he pull off the head and see a Marcus Vanilla inside... Outraged, he thrown the corpse into a stone bowl filled with chili...
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part07pic003.jpg
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.
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"Impostor down... I'm the real Baal..." Pikachu calmly cleared the situation...
"But but... how could you..." Jebivjetar said
"Now, I shall give you some background about this evil being... he was among the first evil creation that Flying Sphagetti Monster made... The Flying Sphagetti Monster... my rival god... pledge to protect all Italian under the guise of depowered Zeus-Ivpiter... but one day, the Pedobear aka Marcus Vanilla comes down and ruin some of the Flying Sphagetti Monster's dominion..."
"What does he do?" Jebivjetar asked again.
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part07pic004.jpg
"Well, did you remember the rape of the Sabines? It was all Pedobear's work... but the Flying Sphagetti Monster seems to have his eyes closed on that matter... now, what happened after that is The Pedobear them claims the title of Baal... having defeated my previous form as Raichu... Now... I want you to help me ravage those Romans, and take the Prized Thunderstone under their Jupiter Capitoline temple..."
"So, we must march to ransack Roma?"
"Barbaropolis, if we must define in the right sense... The Romans are just midless barbarians that couldn't do anything except when the Aliens helped them to copy the intellectual archievement of the Hellens..."
"Damn... those rightful Hellenes must be very angry..."
"That's true... in another dimension, one of the Sons of Alexandros gather everyone with those one vision, one porpose... to archieve Peace through Power... under the Brotherhood of Romaioktonoi... did you want to join?"
https://i574.photobucket.com/albums/ss184/Cutewolf/Part07pic005.jpg
"Of course I'll join... Ok now, what should we do after that...?"
"simple... March to Italy... AND UNLEASH THE RAMPAGE ON BARBAROPOLIS! LET THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE... in another dimension!!! oh yeah and since I was a pacifist by trade, You shall not rape them, but everyone must be put on a sword swiftly... ok? rape is a terrible psychological sin that will take it's tool on your future genaration, as I dissaprove abortion and support euthanasia."
"but lord pikachu... why are you made me bald now... give me back my hair..."
"you could use wigs instead real hair..."
"oh yeah... but long hair men is sexy..."
"no... girls addicted to bald men... see?"
"ugh... ok... I'll wear wigs now..."
Now, under the Freed Baal-Pikachu rule... our heroes now had one vision, one purpose... As they start to mobilize their arms... and march to Barbaropolis!
Part 07 Finished
Because some pointed out that including Pedobear in my story is disturbing, especially for some orgah that dislike 4chan, This time is the last time pedobear made appearance as Pedobear in this AAR (he's dead now), and from this point on, he'll be refered with "Marcus Vanilla the Impostor. I personally said many thanks to Ludens that allow my AAR to life, instead of locking it... so from this point on, please do not refer to Pedobear anymore... :bow:
Cute Wolf
Skullheadhq
11-15-2009, 16:08
Haha, this made me laugh.
"Oh my God, You kill Baal!" Jebivjetar screams, followed by all the present Dorkim Alupim guard said "You Bastard!!!"
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/6f/KennyMcCormick.png/150px-KennyMcCormick.png
ROFL! :laugh4:
Suraknar
11-20-2009, 22:19
Interesting AAR...hehe
Jebivjetar
11-21-2009, 02:35
oh, yes... kidnapping of those samnitian women is what we need :2thumbsup:
Cute Wolf
11-21-2009, 07:28
oh, yes... kidnapping of those samnitian women is what we need :2thumbsup:
I was a pacifist by trade, You shall not rape them, but everyone must be put on a sword swiftly... ok? rape is a terrible psychological sin that will take it's tool on your future genaration, as I dissaprove abortion and support euthanasia."
Stop your terrible act sinners! :laugh4: your new god is trying to made you a good guys.....:whip:
Actually the Sabines aren't the same with Samnites... they life in a very different area.
Interesting AAR...hehe
More precisely: very interesting and will sting your brain! :laugh4:
G. Septimus
11-28-2009, 15:18
[I]
"you could use wigs instead real hair..."
"oh yeah... but long hair men is sexy..."
"no... girls addicted to bald men... see?"
"ugh... ok... I'll wear wigs now.../I]
I think I've seen this conversation before.............
Grade_A_Beef
12-03-2009, 02:33
What's funny is that these so called weed traders may actually be possible in Karthadast. If I recall hemp was a respectable crop used throughout the world until just recently
Skullheadhq
12-08-2009, 19:28
Ah, when will the next update be?
Cute Wolf
12-09-2009, 05:38
Ah Soory... well... maybe next sunday after I finish the Portugese Invasion map.... I promise now....
Ah Soory... well... maybe next sunday after I finish the Portugese Invasion map.... I promise now....
Yeah, don't worry pal... I read the literatures, and you interpret it in game's athmosphere, I read about a city and you search it on the map, i read about armoury, armament, and fighting styles, and you draw the sketch....... we're a darn good team! :yes: :egypt: :thumbsup: but apparently we need more beer to doing our business..... :clown: especially after I finish that arab-melayu writings.... I can drunk again!!!! Yay!!!! :embarassed:
Cute Wolf
12-31-2009, 06:57
CHAPTER 8 (FINAL CHAPTER)
LAST DAY ON BARBAROPOLIS?
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satalexton
12-31-2009, 10:56
HUZZAH!!!!! clearly one of the best AARs of 2009
Skullheadhq
12-31-2009, 12:58
LOL!
Pikachu shitting on the remains of Barbaropolis!
You inspired me to make my own AAR :yes:
Hmm... so the last chapter is "Fill anything in the blank chapter?" eh? :laugh4:
And it ends up with Pikachu shitting on the Roman remains? how dare....... :furious3:
G. Septimus
01-07-2010, 07:36
Hmm... so the last chapter is "Fill anything in the blank chapter?" eh? :laugh4:
And it ends up with Pikachu shitting on the Roman remains? how dare....... :furious3:
hey, dont take it too serious.........
EB is just a game afterall, and this AAR is GOOD
hey, dont take it too serious.........
EB is just a game afterall, and this AAR is GOOD
Yeah, you are right.... Cute Wolf always come with a really nice Idea.... and I wonder what happened in the sequel then..... :ave:
This thread is disturbing on so many levels.
The first thing I thought when I read this thread exactly. Thank God for Ludens. I wonder if you, Ludens, read every single thread. It must take such a long time!!!
I wonder if you, Ludens, read every single thread.
That's the idea. When I am rushed I do sometimes skip the longer posts and rely on members to use the report button.
That's the idea. When I am rushed I do sometimes skip the longer posts and rely on members to use the report button.
Lol, you means some member really report this AAR? :laugh4:
Lol, you means some member really report this AAR? :laugh4:
I don't think Ludens means ("means" ???) somebody necessarily reported this AAR. It is now my understanding that Ludens can't possibly read every single letter posted. Rather, (s)he does his(her) best and follows up the rest using reports. So I guess we can help moderator by reporting anything (s)he might miss! :help: << :laugh4:
Lol, you means some member really report this AAR? :laugh4:
Actually, I was watching this one from the get-go. Whether it was reported or not I shall not say.
I don't think Ludens means ("means" ???) somebody necessarily reported this AAR. It is now my understanding that Ludens can't possibly read every single letter posted. Rather, (s)he does his(her) best and follows up the rest using reports. So I guess we can help moderator by reporting anything (s)he might miss!
Correct, although I do try to read, or at least skim-read, every post made in these forums. I am male, by the way.
Cute Wolf
01-19-2010, 17:41
Wahahahahaha........ Oh Come on.... wait till I update my lastest AAR :laugh4:
It was kinda weird seeing my older AAR get bumped more than my newer.... :laugh4:
this is silly, and outrageous....and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
now lets go high on weeds! =)
Cute Wolf
07-02-2010, 10:42
this is silly, and outrageous....and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
now lets go high on weeds! =)
thank you, but now, Jebi's timeslip adventure allready ended, he was caught by FBI time force police.... :wall:
kidpacific
07-04-2010, 03:52
I wonder how to recruit Iberial lancer and Iberial heavy swordmen in 271BC, since the two are only recruitable in level 4 foreign barracks.
Easy. You mod. CuteWolf mods all the time.
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