View Full Version : Girl I'm somewhat fond of.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-20-2010, 16:06
There is this girl I like I used to go to school with. After 6th grade we lost contact, she stayed in public school, I went to private (Catholic school) school then off to Cyber school for High school. I recently reestbalish contact with her last summer (2009) where shes works at a local drug store me and my mother go to often.
We both are out of high school and sadly,she has a boyfriend (some native radical Serbian guy) . Fine, I can live with that. But I still... don't know, been somewhat fond of her lately, and I was thinking about taking her out to eat one day, or um, at least asking, but don't know if that would look like I'm a loony stalker or something, which is not my intention.
Advice?
I doesn't hurt to try, but the boyfriend aspect is alittle hard to overlook. You can at least pacify your yearning by getting a 'no'. You won't have to dream about a 'what if' anymore, you will know it is not meant to be. Sometimes the' wanting to be with' is worse than the 'knowing of being without'. You are still young, you can still have your memories of her, just with a different woman in the present! Make then anew, start over from scratch. Fond memories can be pleasant, but if you long for the flesh, especially with the unavailable, you will forever be in a state of dissapointment.
edit:
boyfriend (some native radical Serbian guy)
If the guy is agressive or the like, I wouldn't move in on his girlfriend either.
edit, bad taste from my part. I have it.
as with every other major decision that you have to make regarding a girl, rule nº 1 applies.
Rule Number 1 - Jerk off first, then think about it again.
you'll be surprised how clearer your head is after you take the edge off.
Rhyfelwyr
08-20-2010, 17:40
Woo her with cashews and milk?
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-20-2010, 18:13
Woo her with cashews and milk?
It will take a lot of it! :laugh4:
Major Robert Dump
08-20-2010, 18:29
so she's rotund?
as with every other major decision that you have to make regarding a girl, rule nº 1 applies.
Rule Number 1 - Jerk off first, then think about it again.
you'll be surprised how clearer your head is after you take the edge off.
Good advice, take matters into your own hands
Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...
Peasant Phill
08-20-2010, 19:12
I believe Strike worded it best:
Rub your muscled chest with oil. Go to the girl with some great 80's rock soundtrack on the background. Rip your shirt off and in a dramatical pose point to yourself and say: "you could've had ALL of this". Walk back out while head butting the first person you see.(paraphrased because of my shody memory)
Apparently it worked at least once before.
Megas Methuselah
08-20-2010, 19:37
If you're a man, ignore the boyfriend and take her out. If you're a boy, cower in a corner.
Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.
Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.
Yay! I thought this had turned into a joke thread! Poor warman is worrying about love lost and we poke fun at the little cashew king! Be assertive peanut president!
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-20-2010, 22:46
Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...
I, the King of Swissland, shall try that, I must time my move though. :laugh4:
She's on the right. :)
Regrets don't float away, btw. They stay with you for life.
Amen brother
ohhhhhh...she seems worth it! Good luck to you conisseur of cashews!
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-20-2010, 22:58
Smile, tip your hat and let your glowing personality do the talking for you. Be sure to flaunt your plume and let the mystery of the aphrehension glowing in her eyes guide your had toward hers and take her away to a place that is only present in your imaginative intention that she will understand as the glow in her eyes dull to acceptance. Once there, you can parley over fantasy and distant possibilty that will one day be truth. All the while munching on cashews and sipping on tepid milk. The possibilities are endless, you are a king afterall, and Swissland is your kingdom. Wherever that might be...
I'm preparing myself for failure, since I usually fail, but never hurts to try I guess!
8th Swiss brigade forward!!!!!!
Hooahguy
08-20-2010, 23:18
Maybe get into the friend zone first? If you become close friends with her than maybe she will come to you about gripes about her current BF, then you can use that to slowly pry her away from him.
Heavy risk, but the priiize..... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3wO4IOJc9U) (youtube vid, has a scene of a shirtless black guy so it may be slightly NSFW, but the first 20 seconds is GOLD)
Rhyfelwyr
08-21-2010, 00:00
Gah! Do not try to be a 'nice guy' and become friends with them, or they will never respect you. Do not try to be sensitive, or caring, or a good listener or whatever girls say they like, just man up and you will get attention. And let this attitude show as well... just be confident in your body language, don't fuss around with your clothing and hairstyle like you're a 12 year old girl, and for :daisy: sake, do not wear skinny jeans.
I used to be very unconfident and probably had social anxiety, but I've went through an early mid-life crisis and have become paranoid and bitter with the world (especially over why I can't get a job :furious3:). But at least this has made me more confident and assertive.
And just from this, I have been approached by girls several times recently. I'm not a 'macho guy', I'm just saying do not be a 'nice guy' like hooah is saying. Also, do not be like me, I am like 'aspergers guy' lol. I ruined every chance with my lack of social skills and (probably even moresoe)my crappy manners, they really are attrocious.
If you want to approach her warman, just be direct, and offer to take her out for cashews and milk.
Approach depends on the woman. One must know alitte about her before he can plan a strategy. Too agressive when unnecessary or too meek when more aggression is needed will spell failure. A relationship depends on ones true character being shown and shared. If you act like you are not, then it will only cause problems in the future. For instance, if you pick up the girl acting all aggressive then later you let your true meeker self show thru, then she might become dissillusioned and dump you. Harmful to ones ego when you have developed sincere feelings for her. True that the woman might come to love you and accept you as you are, but such things take time, it won't happen on the first date. I like a nice honest approach such that failure is immediate and doesn't happen later when I have grown attached to her. This is my opinion, my track record isn't great, but I haven't been hurt when what I like about myself isn't appreciated or accepted by another. There will always be another. There is someone out there for everybody.
Yay! I thought this had turned into a joke thread! Poor warman is worrying about love lost and we poke fun at the little cashew king! Be assertive peanut president!
Hey! girls give each other support....guys just make fun of each other!
Them be the rules!
Maybe get into the friend zone first? If you become close friends with her than maybe she will come to you about gripes about her current BF, then you can use that to slowly pry her away from him.
THE FRIEND ZONE???????
are you trying to sabotage your fellow man????
tibilicus
08-21-2010, 02:16
She already has a boyfriend so I'm afraid that may answer your question.
Despite the advice given to "ignore the boyfriend" I wouldn't do that. No matter how much of a jerk the guy may be you have to ask yourself, if was you going out with the girl and another guy was trying to hit on her, how would you feel? Sorry to be so blunt, but that's just my view. You could always talk to her and establish yourself in her life though. She might not be with her current boyfriend forever and if she at least knows who you are, you're doing yourself a favour. It isn't really about being in the "friend zone", just make conversation every time you see her and make her smile. If she ever does become available, you then have a better shot.
pevergreen
08-21-2010, 11:49
She's on the right. :)
DUDE.
Out of line.
You do not post pictures of people on the org unless you have their consent to do so.
I'd ask mods to get rid of that.
I posted a pic of me and friends (at the time, active members here) I got WPs from beirut for not getting permission.
Plus its a serious thing and does not help your "not loony" angle at all.
Rhyfelwyr
08-21-2010, 13:53
You could just show her this thread, then she will know how much you care about her, and she will be really impressed at how you somehow got a picture of her and uploaded it to a gaming site full of strangers.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-21-2010, 23:04
DUDE.
Out of line.
You do not post pictures of people on the org unless you have their consent to do so.
I'd ask mods to get rid of that.
I posted a pic of me and friends (at the time, active members here) I got WPs from beirut for not getting permission.
Plus its a serious thing and does not help your "not loony" angle at all.
I know I'm looney my friend! :laugh4::idea2:
I know I'm looney my friend!
Despite what has transpired, I will offer my loony friend, Good-Luck-Bear. He will join your Grumpy Bear Alliance and guide you to a (hopefully) successful courtship.
Is the forest of feelings and care-a-lot in Swissland? That is where all the bears in the Grumpy Bear Alliance come from. Well, they and the Care Bear Cousins. They are endless!!!
Your signature is oh so much fun to make fun of! :)
On to mine...perhaps you can help me find Vera? Do you know where she lives?
pevergreen
08-22-2010, 04:26
I know I'm looney my friend! :laugh4::idea2:
Ha ha ha.
I'm not joking.
Hooahguy
08-22-2010, 04:55
THE FRIEND ZONE???????
are you trying to sabotage your fellow man????
DUDE??????
Do you want him to get slapped?????
Lets say his first try is not sucessful. Without being good friends with the girl already, things have the potential to become insta-awkward.
No girl likes to be approached by some random guy saying "be my girlfriend" unless they are really, really desperate. And by the look/sound of this girl she is NOT desperate.
Ok, maybe saying "friend zone" is the wrong words because I know that those words in man-language, but my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.
Where's Secura?
DUDE??????
Do you want him to get slapped?????
Lets say his first try is not sucessful. Without being good friends with the girl already, things have the potential to become insta-awkward.
No girl likes to be approached by some random guy saying "be my girlfriend" unless they are really, really desperate. And by the look/sound of this girl she is NOT desperate.
Ok, maybe saying "friend zone" is the wrong words because I know that those words in man-language, but my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.
Where's Secura?
It's all about the situation. Approaching her out of nowhere with that offer can be ankward. Presenting it at the right time (Like in the afternoon), and after engaging in a normal conversation, he can cut off, asking out to go to lunch at a nearby café or mall or whatever as he is starving or some other convinient excuse will be perfectly fine, even if he doesn't know her very well (They are known enough for her to accept) and if she says no, then he can just shrug it off and say "Ah damn, maybe another time.", and tie up the conversation and exit out.
Hooahguy
08-22-2010, 08:40
It's all about the situation. Approaching her out of nowhere with that offer can be ankward. Presenting it at the right time (Like in the afternoon), and after engaging in a normal conversation
From what Im reading is that he wants to ask her before they really get to know each other, and from some pretty nasty past experiences, asking her before becoming friends is a really bad idea, even if you rub your muscled chest with oil, go to the girl with some great 80's rock soundtrack on the background, rip your shirt off and in a dramatical pose point to yourself and say: "you could've had ALL of this" and walk back out while head butting the first person you see.
a completely inoffensive name
08-22-2010, 09:46
Don't listen to the guys that are saying to back down because there is a boyfriend. Let me give you a summary of a story I want to share with you. Take it or leave it.
I have been off and on with my current gf for about 6 years now. The first time we officially went out was 3.5 years ago after flirting for years and almost going out multiple times. It lasted 3 months and one week and it was because I was a terrible boyfriend, who was not mature that it failed. I wasn't really bad, just a douche sophomore in high school only about 15 at the time. About 8 months ago in my last semester of high school, she transferred into my AP Gov/Econ class after not talking to her for over 2 years. I still felt something for her and I wanted to least make up somehow for the awful person I was in our relationship so I reconnected with her and began apologizing for how I behaved earlier. As we became friends again, I realized that I wanted to be with her but as it turned out she had a boyfriend, who she had been with for a little over 5 months at that point. I fully adhered to the idea that I was going to willingly put myself into the friend zone because my time and opportunity with her was over and lost and I wasn't going to interfere with the new guy. Since this is a summary I will skip over the part where I got my inspiration but I decided after a week or two to give it a shot (this is now February instead of January) and I took her out to eat at the best pastrami place in town (I figured if I was going to get rejected I should at least have a damn good meal). Well she admitted that she still had some feelings for me but that she didnt feel right about abandoning her boyfriend for me. I said that was perfectly fine and that we could still be friends. I thought that would be the end of it, but after another week and a half of talking with her and being friends she sprung on me (complete surprise on my part) that she decided that the mature me I had become was more compelling to go with then the so-so (and still immature at 17) boyfriend she had.
Long story short, she choose me over him because I took the chance and now we will be celebrating our 6 month anniversary on the 12th of September and she says that she loves me and the person I have become.
If you feel that you can be better then what she has then go for it. I feel like it would disrespectful to hold back from her what could be the best relationship of her life because you are respecting some guys "territorial dominance" over her.
That's all I have to say. Now back to trolling.
Rhyfelwyr
08-22-2010, 13:00
my point is, become close friends with her before trying anything. Anyone who honestly think non-superficial girls like guys being jerks need to get their head examined. Be nice, they are people too.
So everyone that doesn't become friends with a girl before asking her out is a jerk? I know we have stereotypes where we see people as 'nice guys' or 'jerks' but the reality is there a people that are inbetween or different altogether.
I don't understand why you would become friends as if that will naturally lead onto a relationship. If anything it just seems like messing her about. Plus you don't want them to see you as a freind, but as a boyfriend surely. The former disqualifies the latter, it doens't lead to it.
Don't think. Just do. None of this "friends" business. Do you want to be her friend? If yes, then go be her friend. Do you want to see if you and her have any connection, if yes then go talk to her. None of this scaredy cat watching from the shadows. Stop thinking about it and go talk to her. The only way you'll see if anything happens and how see she feels about you vs her boyfriend is to suck it up and talk to her.
Kids these days, don't you know anything about small talk and confidence?
So everyone that doesn't become friends with a girl before asking her out is a jerk? I know we have stereotypes where we see people as 'nice guys' or 'jerks' but the reality is there a people that are inbetween or different altogether.
"Nice guys" are mostly self-absorbed, not "nice".
Hooahguy
08-22-2010, 15:04
Whatever happened to getting to know the girl before you ask her out?
Talking -> friendship -> much higher chance of getting together.
pevergreen
08-22-2010, 15:29
Whatever happened to getting to know the girl before you ask her out?
Talking -> friendship -> much higher chance of getting together.
Not always.
It depends on the girl. Once you talk enough, thats it.
I have a female friend that I'm very close with.
[pever]......... it's not like I think you are gay, its not like I see you as gay, but if you were ever to develop feelings for me you would be better off being gay, it is how I view all good male friends of mine, it means I can ask your opinion without feeling uncomfortable.
Now don't ask me to explain the logic behind that, because I dont get it. But if you arent viewed as a potential, then you're going to get in that friend zone, from there, unless there is some life changing event, it aint gunna happen.
Its ok to go while she is with someone, just avoid the boyfriend, if she makes it clear she doesnt want to see you, then dont chase after her.
If he was your mate, it shouldnt even come into your head. She'd be off limits for life.
Hooahguy
08-22-2010, 18:39
Not always.
It depends on the girl. Once you talk enough, thats it.
I have a female friend that I'm very close with.
And so do I, whats your point?
My point is that you want to really get to know the girl, and get her to know you. Become friends, not just casual acquaintances.
Whatever happened to getting to know the girl before you ask her out?
Talking -> friendship -> much higher chance of getting together.
that was disproven on january 13th, 2007.
either I had to know every bit of her (an impossibility), or never knew her in the first place.
Megas Methuselah
08-23-2010, 00:11
[touching story]
You're lucky, mane. The things I lost... No matter how high I go, there will always be this empty hole. Maybe it will be filled with something else, but it certainly isn't feeling that way.
Time to drink it away. Maybe that'll work?
Hooahguy
08-23-2010, 00:26
that was disproven on january 13th, 2007.
either I had to know every bit of her (an impossibility), or never knew her in the first place.
Thats funny, it was proven for me on May 24th, 2008. If I had gotten to know her better before asking her out than maybe she would have said yes.
pevergreen
08-23-2010, 00:31
Thats funny, it was proven for me on May 24th, 2008. If I had gotten to know her better before asking her out than maybe she would have said yes.
Or maybe not?
Proven where you don't know if it would have worked. :laugh4:
I love dates! Proven to me on December 24th, 1996.
A strange, troubled little girl that I couldn't help grow up. But a memorable evening and the many other memorable moments spent for the following two weeks. Two on one brief evening if I recall correctly! ;)
Hooahguy
08-23-2010, 04:09
Or maybe not?
Proven where you don't know if it would have worked. :laugh4:
The words "Its kinda rash to ask a girl out before you even know her" is kinda a hint.
Plus we ended up dating a few months later, after I got to know her better. We broke up last May, I think I made a thread about it.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-23-2010, 12:33
Kids these days, don't you know anything about small talk and confidence?
"Nice guys" are mostly self-absorbed, not "nice".
Well, my bouncy balls fell off and rolled down the hill, resulting in me getting nervous with this stuff! :laugh4:
http://www.apollopony.net/images/sony_bravia_balls.jpg
Well, my bouncy balls fell off and rolled down the hill, resulting in me getting nervous with this stuff! :laugh4:
Everyone gets nervous. But here's a handy set of thoughts:
The worst response you are going to get is a no.
If you aren't feeling confident, copy confidence. How would you move, act, talk, think if you were confidence. Act "as-if" you are confident. Confidence is only a state of mind.
You lose out 100% if you never try.
If you have a nagging nervous voice that tells you you can't or it'll end badly try to disarm it. Imagine a big volume dial in your head and that you lower it to shut-up your fear.
Everyone gets nervous. But here's a handy set of thoughts:
•The worst response you are going to get is a no.
•If you aren't feeling confident, copy confidence. How would you move, act, talk, think if you were confidence. Act "as-if" you are confident. Confidence is only a state of mind.
•You lose out 100% if you never try.
•If you have a nagging nervous voice that tells you you can't or it'll end badly try to disarm it. Imagine a big volume dial in your head and that you lower it to shut-up your fear.
You should listen to this advice warman, it is very good. One more thing, don't hesitate. Don't stumble over words as you recite some long speech you prepared for the event. You already know her (more or less), a brief hello and the question is all you need. You will either fail immediately, or have the success right away. No need to slowly get your confidence up as you trudge thru your greeting and build up to have it popped with a no. Especially if it was well thought out and meaningful. She has a boyfriend and it has been some time since you last saw her, be brief and direct. Confidence ebbs and flows like the tide, it is not static, you will be more confident when you begin and the longer you dilly-dally the less potent it is more likely to become. Just for kicks, when you enter the drug store, make a purchase too as you greet her at the counter. I assume she is a clerk. Make sure it is a can of cashews and a gallon of milk!
Whatever happened to getting to know the girl before you ask her out?
Talking -> friendship -> much higher chance of getting together.
you are forgetting the well know scenario that often ocurs.
Talking -> friendship -> trapped in the "friend zone" -> almost zero chance of getting together.
you are forgetting the well know scenario that often ocurs.
Talking -> friendship -> trapped in the "friend zone" -> almost zero chance of getting together.
Aye. It's fine to be friendly, but keep it casual if you want to see if there is more than just a friendship there.
a completely inoffensive name
08-26-2010, 23:39
Step 1. Ask her out.
Step 2. Get rejected or accepted.
Step 3. (If rejected) Tell her that's perfectly fine but you still think she is a pretty awesome person and would like to get to know her a bit more and be friends. (If accepted) Have sex with her.
Step 4. Profit. (Unless she denies you for the friendship offer, then tell her to **** off, because girls like that are not worth your friendship)
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
08-26-2010, 23:41
Step 1. Ask her out.
Step 2. Get rejected or accepted.
Step 3. (If rejected) Tell her that's perfectly fine but you still think she is a pretty awesome person and would like to get to know her a bit more and be friends. (If accepted) Have sex with her.
Step 4. Profit. (Unless she denies you for the friendship offer, then tell her to **** off, because girls like that are not worth your friendship)
Kinda got a kick out of the "Have sex" part. :laugh4:
The sex is better when the relationship is allowed to mature. Much like fine wine!
The sex is better when the relationship is allowed to mature. Much like fine wine!
If it matures too much though, it quickly turns into vinegar.
Vinegar is a necessary ingredient in some recipies!
Megas Methuselah
08-28-2010, 01:05
Vinegar's nasty, mane.
Rhyfelwyr
08-29-2010, 12:46
I used to drink vinegar straight out the bottle when I was younger. But it never compared to Lea & Perrins (http://www.splishme.com/).
I used to drink vinegar straight out the bottle when I was younger.
Heh. I used to drink the vinegar left in the pickle/gerkin jar after the pickles/gerkins were finished.
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