I give up. [Archive]

Prussian to the Iron

10-03-2010, 15:51

So I'll edit and give full details later, but basically I'm freaking done with women. Too much effort and hurt and nothing in return. screw sex, I haven't even had a girlfriend for more than 1 date before! and I've only been out on 2 dates, 1 of which thought it wasnt one!

so yeah, I'm just saying screw it and not even caring. I'll be that guy who's like 30 before I even have a girlfriend. the worst part is that I have tons of friends, but girls just always wanna be friends. *sigh*. it doesnt matter anyway. I'll just creep back into my little hole.

So here's the scoop:

So I transferred into another Gym class like 2 weeks ago (because my math class changed which changed half my schedule), where I met this girl Shelby. we totally clicked and just talked and laughed like every day of gym for the whole time almost. Homecoming (last night) was coming up, so I asked her to it. she said yes, I bought her ticket, and we had everything planned out pretty much.
I was going to her house to ride with her, and her best friend and her date were riding with us. we were getting pizza beforehand, and her friends dad was supposed to pick us up at 11, after being dropped off at 8.

her mom really liked me (I think) and we were talking and laughing at her house and it was great. then we got to the dance.
so we're kinda talking, then we get inside and she bolts off to talk to just about everyone at the dance who wasn't me, leaving me lonely standing next to her friends date while they were talking away almost the whole time. I asked her to dance, she said she didn't feel well (she'd been sick for a couple weeks with a chest infection), so we went out into the cafeteria where it was pretty calm and everything.
then her friend comes up to me and asks if I thought we were just going as friends or if I thought it was a date. told her it was a date.
then shelby comes over and says she didnt wanna dance because like her ex-boyfriend (they broke up 4 MONTHS AGO!!!!), who is constantly flirting with her in band, had something to do with like she doesnt like to slow dance (I offered at the not slow dance too). so then after this she goes off and talks to more people, while I'm left by myself again.

so after waiting...and waiting...and waiting....and then searching for her for a while, I just decided that I'd just leave. why stay there alone while my date pretty much didn't even need me to be there? so I left.

later, she texts me and asks if I was still there...like an hour after I left. then she said that she had been looking for me for almost an hour. the part that really hurts me here is that last year her date stood her up the day before, so she said she probably won't go to any more dances. and then we went into a whole discussion about why she doesn't wanna go out with anyone right now (the prior discussion about the ex-boyfriend happened here, where I said it happened before she just said she had bad experiences slow dancing). so...now I'm stuck in friendland at best, probably lower than that if possible, because this little ****e piece of crap harasses her. frickin douche.

so yeah. thats why I'm done. callin it quits. frickin sick and tired of trying and just getting beat down every time, while being forced to observe the successful or at least good relationships that just about all of my friends have. I'll never understand why girls are like they are, but it'd be nice if they'd just quit like all the a-hole stuff, I think that would really help the world out.

Major Robert Dump

10-03-2010, 16:30

So you into dudes now?

Hooahguy

10-03-2010, 16:41

Dude, youre in high school, chill out. I was just like you and went through three "girlfriends" until I figured out that girls at the high school age, with a few exceptions, are just not ready for relationships. And neither are us guys. Wait until college. I know, its tough, but its the awful truth of the matter.

Rhyfelwyr

10-03-2010, 16:47

Crazed Rabbit

10-03-2010, 16:56

Well, you know what they say - if you try and fail, then give up and never try again.

I think that was it, anyway...

Seriously dude, you're young. Don't sweat that it doesn't work out yet.

CR

Prussian to the Iron

10-03-2010, 16:59

I cannot understand this phenomenon where people end up just being friends with girls. I honestly can't see how you could ever get into that sort of situation.

It's not like you would share typical interests like football or gaming or whatever. It's like both genders act the same these days. At Uni they all seem to hang out in mixed groups, and the guys all wear fancy clothes with designer hair cuts and all the crap. What do they even talk about? X-factor (lol)?

Bah! I sound like an old man and I'm 21!

Meh, I'm probably just too far removed from 'popular culture' these days. :shrug:

Because some total A-hole 50 years ago decided he could just be friends with girls, and then girls started to get the idea that it was ok to not only just be friends with a guy that would be a good match for them, but also to lead said guy on as if she was his girlfriend, thus making him into the un-escapable friend stage.

trust me Rhyfelwyr, I'm totally with you. i hate guys that act like girls, and dress like that. and i hate that girls then like these guys over the actual men that they know.

Hell, I'm on the Football Team (runningback), I'm like really smart, ROTC, and overall pretty buff (not to sound too arrogant or full of myself). but nowadays no girls want that. they want all the gay dudes.

gaelic cowboy

10-03-2010, 17:13

Your probably trying too hard just relax and you know talk to people for you the craic trust me it works.

Beskar

10-03-2010, 17:39

It's not like you would share typical interests like football or gaming or whatever. It's like both genders act the same these days.

Go Rhyfelwyr, tell them to return to that kitchen and make you a sandwich like it was 1879.

gaelic cowboy

10-03-2010, 18:05

Go Rhyfelwyr, tell them to return to that kitchen and make you a sandwich like it was 1879.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQOkMz3kiS0

Thankfully the brainstrust on the tinterwebby have this all under control.

ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88

10-03-2010, 18:11

So you into dudes now?

Epic :clown:.

You younger then I am (18 I am) and you flipping out already? Chilllllllll. Have some Cashews and Milk from the Local Swissland Carebear store in your area. Wait about 5 years, you get a GF.

:yes:

Rhyfelwyr

10-03-2010, 18:26

Go Rhyfelwyr, tell them to return to that kitchen and make you a sandwich like it was 1879.

Yes because that's absolutely what I was saying, you crazed communist! :clown:

You know what I mean, even in secondary school they tend to mix more and I don't understand what their shared interests could be. I was still football crazy right up until the end of school. Darned kids growing up too quick these days! *shakes walking stick in anger*

Rhyfelwyr

10-03-2010, 18:39

Hell, I'm on the Football Team (runningback), I'm like really smart, ROTC, and overall pretty buff (not to sound too arrogant or full of myself). but nowadays no girls want that. they want all the gay dudes.

I think that is probably only a problem for girls in your age group (you're 15 or so, IIRC?), they probably like Justine Bieber lookalikes. I never got any attention until the last couple of years, since then I've been approached a few times, I can't complain since I barely leave the house and I've only got one Uni class for two hours per term (ha!). I ruin everything with my lack of social skills though, I'm still annoyed about the last time. Gah! :furious3:

And I do not act all 'macho' and I am not chauvinistic. I just see myself as normal and the problem is with all these emo's and such likes today which have become the new 'norm'. Where I live I am a completely average, this phenomenon I have noticed is more at Uni.

Motep

10-03-2010, 18:52

give 'em time. They'll come around

gaelic cowboy

10-03-2010, 18:55

Hold on Prusiian Iron cant be that young is ROTC not like a Cadetship in the army

Anyway who cares if there all into "Gay Dudes" they soon cop there not into them.

Hax

10-03-2010, 19:40

trust me Rhyfelwyr, I'm totally with you. i hate guys that act like girls, and dress like that. and i hate that girls then like these guys over the actual men boys that they know.

So I'll edit and give full details later, but basically I'm freaking done with women girls. Too much effort and hurt and nothing in return. screw sex, I haven't even had a girlfriend for more than 1 date before! and I've only been out on 2 dates, 1 of which thought it wasnt one!

Look, I made it somewhat more fitting ^___^

Prussian to the Iron

10-03-2010, 20:55

Hold on Prusiian Iron cant be that young is ROTC not like a Cadetship in the army

I'm 15, 16 in april

Hosakawa Tito

10-03-2010, 22:15

A love song. Pick yer self up, dust yer self off, never give up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoZHhho_TeY&feature=player_embedded

Motep

10-03-2010, 23:46

I approve of the above post

Megas Methuselah

10-04-2010, 00:31

Don't worry, brah. Even the ugliest bastards can get laid once they get into university. I don't know how they do it, but they get by somehow.

Prussian to the Iron

10-04-2010, 00:53

Don't worry, brah. Even the ugliest bastards can get laid once they get into university. I don't know how they do it, but they get by somehow.

and nice guys like me get left the hell behind.

Hooahguy

10-04-2010, 01:02

I'll repeat: Cool it, wait until college. Or at least Senior year.

pevergreen

10-04-2010, 01:08

Its pretty obvious you aren't ready.

Cultural differences could be popping up here so my view may be tainted, but yeah.

Give up, come back in a couple years when you might be ready. Why do you need a girlfriend now anyway?

Give a good reason.

Motep

10-04-2010, 01:08

I'll repeat: Cool it, wait until college. Or at least Senior year.

yeah, senior year is going pretty good for me. I had your same situation, just give it time, they will see the value of you.

gaelic cowboy

10-04-2010, 01:17

I'm 15, 16 in april

What is ROTC so then I thought it stood for Reserve Officer's Training Corps your cant be in that at 15.

The lads are right just play it cool college is where the action happens anyway

Prussian to the Iron

10-04-2010, 01:48

What is ROTC so then I thought it stood for Reserve Officer's Training Corps your cant be in that at 15.

The lads are right just play it cool college is where the action happens anyway

whatever jrotc does it matter?

tibilicus

10-04-2010, 01:52

I cannot understand this phenomenon where people end up just being friends with girls. I honestly can't see how you could ever get into that sort of situation.

It's not like you would share typical interests like football or gaming or whatever. It's like both genders act the same these days. At Uni they all seem to hang out in mixed groups, and the guys all wear fancy clothes with designer hair cuts and all the crap. What do they even talk about? X-factor (lol)?

Bah! I sound like an old man and I'm 21!

Meh, I'm probably just too far removed from 'popular culture' these days. :shrug:

The different genders often contribute different things to a group. I have different conversations with my guy friends as opposed to my girl friends and probably act a bit differently around each but I still value each the same. I would say I only click with my guy friends slightly more as you probably do have more in common but saying that, it is entirely possible to have good friends who are girls.

gaelic cowboy

10-04-2010, 01:52

whoa lad take it easy I wasnt putting you down just wondering thats all

Motep

10-04-2010, 02:11

naut

10-04-2010, 03:39

Your probably trying too hard just relax and you know talk to people for you the craic trust me it works.
:yes:

Its pretty obvious you aren't ready.

Cultural differences could be popping up here so my view may be tainted, but yeah.

Give up, come back in a couple years when you might be ready. Why do you need a girlfriend now anyway?

Give a good reason.
:yes:

I don't mean to pry or be rude, but you seem like you have some personal insecurities, etc. At the dance when she went to talk to her friends why did you do what you did? Isn't she allowed to have her own friends? Maybe you should have talked to other people there too, rather than worry about a girl you just met. If something is going to happen it is going to happen, calm down. I get the sense that you are "dependent" on others for approval. I may be completely off here, an I'm not trying to be rude, but you should take a step back, assess yourself, and say am I completely happy personally? If you can' love yourself, and if you don't have your own life and sense of identity you can never actually love someone else.

Uh, I hope that makes sense, 6 or so hours sleep over the last 3 days is messing with my thought processes.

jabarto

10-04-2010, 06:14

I'm going to go against the consensus here and agree with the OP. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, and will be alone until the day I die. But it's so very worth it to not have to deal with people and their lies. :beam:

a completely inoffensive name

10-04-2010, 07:06

http://levistey0.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/funny-pictures-disregard-females-acquire-currency.jpg

Andres

10-04-2010, 12:58

with designer hair cuts

What's a "designer hair cut"? Do you have pictures of that?

Louis VI the Fat

10-04-2010, 13:26

her mom really liked me Is she :gorgeous:? Could that be the end of your problems then? I say let her make you a man!

Also, girls sniff dudes out. They can smell if you get enough. If you do, they'll want in on the action. If you don't, they assume there's something wrong with you and will actively avoid romantic involvement with you.
Within any peer group, girls divide guys into two groups, and two groups only: a - guys all of them want, b - guys none of them want. If you're in group 'b', it's all over unless you can pull some sort of game-changing stunt.

naut

10-04-2010, 14:22

Within any peer group, girls divide guys into two groups, and two groups only: a - guys all of them want, b - guys none of them want. If you're in group 'b', it's all over unless you can pull some sort of game-changing stunt.
"Game-changing stunt"? Heh. Usually it's something as basic as building self-confidence and self-worth. Basic yes, but I understand that it is hard for many people (been there done that). Guys get lumped in that group because a girl won't see them as "potential", because they often lack pride/self-esteem or have not come to terms with insecurities. Girls want men who act like men, not men who whine about their petty issues. Everyone's got issues, but don't whine about them, go and do something about them.

PS: Yes, listen to Louis, date the mum, Cougar's will do things for you if you treat them right.

Tangentially, schools are horrible for the development of male-female interaction because of the strictness of school yard stereotypes (nerds are nerds and nothing else, athletes are athletes and nothing else, etc) and the limited pool of the opposite sex. People get the sense that the person they are chasing is the only one for them, "its perfect", bleah, simply because the viable options are minimal. When in fact there are many, many viable options out there and they just need to be found. These perceptions grow and carry on over into adult life, and as a result you end up with mopey adults hung up over some bird/bloke they went on a date with once and even though nothing happened they must be "the one". :cheesy:

pevergreen

10-04-2010, 14:33

Looking back, I feel the need to further explain why I think you should actually not worry about it for a long time.

You're 15 currently. I was in year 10 when I was 15, third last year of school. As most kids would have, I had a couple of bad experiences with liking girls during my early high school years (year levels 8-12 in my state).
I had given up when I was your age. I'd not been on a proper date, not a single girl had shown interest, nor had any attempts I'd made at establishing anything gone anywhere. I was one of those guys. Sure, I wasn't unpopular, I was one of the guys that knew tech stuff, I was useful.

One lesson of Christian Studies I had, I was moved to the front row for talking. I went to a co-ed school, but I wasn't exactly great at relating to girls, their minds just worked differently to mine. But the three girls I was moved next to have all played major parts in my life.

Simply by not trying, I gained so much. I didn't care if I had a girlfriend, sure some of my friends did, but so what? Out of those three girls, one became a friend, one I ended up going out with for a couple of months and the other is my closest friend, to this day, 5 years later.

Random chance can be such a huge factor in your life. "Good things come to those who wait" type of thing.

So that relationship ended after only a few months, we saw a single movie together. Yeah, I don't think she was ever actually in to me. They hadn't yet become my actual friends, so for another year and a half (this is taking place at pretty much your exact age, approaching 16) I had 2-3 friends basically. In that time period, I become friends with the one and only Beefy187 (:wink:)

Did I try my hardest to get a girlfriend? Nope. I mean, sure I was still attracted to girls, but I had given up, they never liked me. Around 18 months after my first 'real' girlfriend, I was sitting at home on a school night, like I did every night, just wasting time on the org (I'd been around for less than a year) and some girl i sort of knew a few years ago started talking to me. You know how people get sometimes when there are two or three of them on a computer? "Lets go talk stupidly to someone!"

Somehow, over the next month, me still not trying, we ended up meeting, then I went over to her place one day. I forget the reason I went, but I ended up going out with that girl for the next 10 months. If you want to know how that ended, check the backroom and go back like 20-30 pages. :no:

My point is, wait and things will happen. Giving up doesn't mean you have no chance, it just means you can protect yourself better, focus on the more important things at the time. If I hadn't of gone out with the above girl for basically the entire last year of highschool, I may have be where I will be in a few months, 2 years ago. I would be overall, happier as well.

Was it worth it? The experience and lessons I've learnt will probably serve me well in the future.

Umm, so yeah. Give up, probably a good thing for now.

Plus, you still haven't got a good reason on why you need a girlfriend do you?

Philippus Flavius Homovallumus

10-04-2010, 14:51

The different genders often contribute different things to a group. I have different conversations with my guy friends as opposed to my girl friends and probably act a bit differently around each but I still value each the same. I would say I only click with my guy friends slightly more as you probably do have more in common but saying that, it is entirely possible to have good friends who are girls.

"Guy Friends"?

I'm going with Rhy here, what on Earth is the world coming to?

No, seriously though. If you have an attractive female friend and you pretend you don't want t sleep with here, you're just lying to everybody. If on the other hand, you decide that trying to sleep with her is a bad idea, that's different.

Also, girls sniff dudes out. They can smell if you get enough. If you do, they'll want in on the action. If you don't, they assume there's something wrong with you and will actively avoid romantic involvement with you.
Within any peer group, girls divide guys into two groups, and two groups only: a - guys all of them want, b - guys none of them want. If you're in group 'b', it's all over unless you can pull some sort of game-changing stunt.

Wisdom here, the only way not to look pathetic if you aren't getting any is to deliberately take yourself out of play, then you become unattainable and thence (theoretically) desirable.

Hax

10-04-2010, 16:18

I'm going with Rhy here, what on Earth is the world coming to?

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY!?

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A :daisy: ABOUT THE RULES?!

drone

10-04-2010, 16:25

Don't worry, brah. Even the ugliest bastards can get laid once they get into university. I don't know how they do it, but they get by somehow.

Alcohol.

Strike For The South

10-04-2010, 16:26

"Never make someone your priority, when they only make you an option."

Things that take precedence over women

1. My school
2. My work
3. Sport
4. Food/boozing
5. E-romance with Louis
6. Making thinly veiled personal attacks against Pshyconaut in the soccer thread.

You need to chill out and let this stuff roll off your back man. Women are generally pretty useless, this rings even more true today as the have abandoned there strengths and are trying to get in the job field (lol)

But seriously. If you treat every girl you may or may not hook up with as a potential soul mate you'll be dead by 25 from sheer stress. Don't sweat these sorts of things and don't go o-pining for forgivness or try to woo her back.

I've never been a big fan of the friend zone theory. Unless you are slightly gay, crippilingly ugly, or morbidly obese. A girl will probably bang you if the conditions are right. Now this cuts both ways mind you.

At this point we get back to the quote. Do not waste any more time on them than they are willing to waste on you

pevergreen

10-04-2010, 16:43

I've never been a big fan of the friend zone theory. Unless you are slightly gay, crippilingly ugly, or morbidly obese. A girl will probably bang you if the conditions are right. Now this cuts both ways mind you.

I think thats wrong.

Theres only a certain amount of time (generally) when you know a girl that she thinks of you that way, after that its friends. That doesn't change easily.

It can, but it takes something big.

Theres varying levels, but the closer you get to her, the more likely it will never be anything but friends.

Fragony

10-04-2010, 16:52

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY!?

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A :daisy: ABOUT THE RULES?!

rule #1, no ponytails kthxbye

drone

10-04-2010, 17:27

It can, but it takes something big.
Alcohol.

tibilicus

10-04-2010, 17:44

"Guy Friends"?

I'm going with Rhy here, what on Earth is the world coming to?

No, seriously though. If you have an attractive female friend and you pretend you don't want t sleep with here, you're just lying to everybody. If on the other hand, you decide that trying to sleep with her is a bad idea, that's different.

Not really. I just happen to value some peoples friendships more than trying to get into their pants. Contrary to popular belief, your more likely to meet a future GF from someone outside your immediate friendship group. Generally speaking I wouldn't want to sleep with a girl I'm particularly close to anyway. It's kind of awkward to go from friends to sleeping with each other and it's even more hard to do the reverse. I've rarely gone from friendship to relationship and the other way round is even worse. If anyone has managed to stay "friends" after splitting up with a girl, I would like to know how such a feat was achieved.

Point being that sometimes a friendship is more valuable than any short term gain.

Skullheadhq

10-04-2010, 18:33

Uhh you're 15, disregard females, acquire computer games

Strike For The South

10-04-2010, 19:22

I think thats wrong.

Theres only a certain amount of time (generally) when you know a girl that she thinks of you that way, after that its friends. That doesn't change easily.

It can, but it takes something big.

Theres varying levels, but the closer you get to her, the more likely it will never be anything but friends.

Which is why you need to keep your emotional distance

a completely inoffensive name

10-04-2010, 20:11

No one knows what they are talking about. Let me just boil down what you need into three steps.

1. Penis pump + constant overactive imagination
2. Seven pairs of basketball shorts + seven pairs of silk boxers.
3. Learn the elegant dance of **** slanging.

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=313953&title=the-webs-newest-dance-crazes

Once you have completed all three steps, start performing outside the windows of random classes and you will find new levels of popularity never seen before.

Rhyfelwyr

10-04-2010, 21:37

What's a "designer hair cut"? Do you have pictures of that?

It is when you do anything more than put a bit of gel in it to make it stick down.

Heh, don't mind me, I've had the same hair cut since I was old enough to sit in the seats in the barbers shop, 2 back and sides. Some things today just seem ridiculous though, when I go to take my youngest brother anywhere I have to wait 10 minutes while he makes his hair look greasy and messy. Why?!

That's not how things were back in my day! *grumbles away*

"Game-changing stunt"? Heh. Usually it's something as basic as building self-confidence and self-worth.

This has proved very true for me, life is so much easier when you are not anxious in social situations. You can even notice how people treat you differently (even I can notice so it must be noticeable!).

I'm going with Rhy here, what on Earth is the world coming to?

You know you can't fight it any longer, I saw you in the abortion thread, your inner Evangelical it taking control!

Prussian to the Iron

10-04-2010, 23:14

:yes:

:yes:

I don't mean to pry or be rude, but you seem like you have some personal insecurities, etc. At the dance when she went to talk to her friends why did you do what you did? Isn't she allowed to have her own friends? Maybe you should have talked to other people there too, rather than worry about a girl you just met. If something is going to happen it is going to happen, calm down. I get the sense that you are "dependent" on others for approval. I may be completely off here, an I'm not trying to be rude, but you should take a step back, assess yourself, and say am I completely happy personally? If you can' love yourself, and if you don't have your own life and sense of identity you can never actually love someone else.

Uh, I hope that makes sense, 6 or so hours sleep over the last 3 days is messing with my thought processes.

it wasn't that she was hanging out with friends, it was that she totally disregarded me for like an entire hour and left me waiting like an idiot.

I'm going to go against the consensus here and agree with the OP. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, and will be alone until the day I die. But it's so very worth it to not have to deal with people and their lies. :beam:
virgin power!

Megas Methuselah

10-04-2010, 23:20

Uhh you're 15, disregard females, acquire computer games

And alcohol.

Hax

10-05-2010, 15:17

And alcohol.

I don't think so.

woad&fangs

10-05-2010, 16:55

Do well in school so you can get into a college with two girls for every guy. Hey, it worked for me.

naut

10-05-2010, 17:08

it wasn't that she was hanging out with friends, it was that she totally disregarded me for like an entire hour and left me waiting like an idiot.
So she's meant to follow your every command? Mountain, meet molehill.

Prussian to the Iron

10-05-2010, 22:16

So she's meant to follow your every command? Mountain, meet molehill.

what? I paid for her ticket, I at least deserve something past "hey I'm gonna go talk to *insert friend name here*" all night long. if she didn't intend on spending any time with me she shouldn't have said yes in the first place.

Megas Methuselah

10-05-2010, 23:13

You bought her ticket?

...

... Where the hell do you live? The conservative bible belt?

Hooahguy

10-05-2010, 23:58

Hax

10-06-2010, 00:27

Maybe they dont have chivalry in Canada?

Not in that part. Québec is the bastion of chivalry in North America.

Prussian to the Iron

10-06-2010, 00:47

You bought her ticket?

...

... Where the hell do you live? The conservative bible belt?

Buying her ticket is a bit much, considering you arent even dating. But at least that was chivalrous. Maybe they dont have chivalry in Canada?

dont sound much like it here, but i'm really very gentlemanly most of the time, really classy actually. maybe thats my problem? I need to treat girls like the ground i walk on like most other people do?

jk bout that last part.

Hooahguy

10-06-2010, 01:21

maybe thats my problem? I need to treat girls like the ground i walk on like most other people do?

EDIT: NO, disregard what I said, I misread what you!

Prussian to the Iron

10-06-2010, 01:58

Yes.

wish i could. maybe i could learn

Tuuvi

10-06-2010, 02:36

Eh I don't think you should change the way you act around girls unless you have really bad manners or something. Just be yourself and eventually someone will come to you, and when she does you'll know she's something special and won't be some selfish popularity hungry barbie doll.

I know how you feel, when I was in high school/middle school I never had a girlfriend and whenever it seemed like I finally would the girl would suddenly change her mind about me or something. Now looking back I'm glad I never had a girlfriend because nobody was mature enough and it would've been a bunch of stupid drama anyway.

pevergreen

10-06-2010, 03:47

what? I paid for her ticket, I at least deserve something past "hey I'm gonna go talk to *insert friend name here*" all night long. if she didn't intend on spending any time with me she shouldn't have said yes in the first place.

Why?

She isn't yours for the night, you bought her ticket, not the ticket to owning her for the night.

You expected something different than she did, you aren't ready, and neither are other girls your age.

naut

10-06-2010, 05:15

dont sound much like it here, but i'm really very gentlemanly most of the time, really classy actually. maybe thats my problem? I need to treat girls like the ground i walk on like most other people do?

Yes.
Oh, not more "nice guy"s. :wall:

"You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it."

You aren't ready. You don't do something nice or gentlemanly because you'll get something in return. That is no longer being nice or gentlemanly, that is emotional manipulation with an underlying motive. You do it because it is the nice thing to do.

I may be coming off as a hard-nosed :daisy:, but that's what you really need. You don't need your ego stroked and a reassuring arm round the shoulder. You need some cold-hard perspective. So do as the Texan said earlier, do the more important things in your life first. Set some goals, set some things you want to achieve. And go after them. As a result you'll gain confidence, self-esteem and you'll find yourself swimming in ladies who are interested in you because you are interesting and driven.

Hooahguy

10-06-2010, 05:23

Whoa! I DID NOT mean to say that you should treat her like dirt! Is that what I came across as saying? I really need to read more carefully your posts before I reply. oops

Cute Wolf

10-06-2010, 09:08

virgin power!

now, just relax, be grateful, and pray that you'll never doing "that sin" before you got married :angel: and be proud, real men in earlier part of this century (and ancient ages) also doing that... including someone today who lived on the backside of the earth...

Prussian to the Iron

10-06-2010, 22:12

Why?

She isn't yours for the night, you bought her ticket, not the ticket to owning her for the night.

You expected something different than she did, you aren't ready, and neither are other girls your age.

again, I didn't say that I expected her to be with me 100% of the time, but she literally spent 0 time with me. if she didn't intend on even speaking to me except to tell me that she didnt want to dance, she shouldn't have ever accepted in the first place.

Oh, not more "nice guy"s. :wall:

"You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it."

You aren't ready. You don't do something nice or gentlemanly because you'll get something in return. That is no longer being nice or gentlemanly, that is emotional manipulation with an underlying motive. You do it because it is the nice thing to do.

I may be coming off as a hard-nosed :daisy:, but that's what you really need. You don't need your ego stroked and a reassuring arm round the shoulder. You need some cold-hard perspective. So do as the Texan said earlier, do the more important things in your life first. Set some goals, set some things you want to achieve. And go after them. As a result you'll gain confidence, self-esteem and you'll find yourself swimming in ladies who are interested in you because you are interesting and driven.

I don't do it because i want something in return, it's just natural for me to treat people nicely in general, probably nicer than most people do. really, the only times I ever get mad are if somebody touches me agressively, like pushing, punching, etc. I keep a cool demeanor and treat people well, I treat females especially in high regard on whole, not because I hope to get something, but because its an instinct.

Hax

10-06-2010, 22:18

now, just relax, be grateful, and pray that you'll never doing "that sin" before you got married

Take this proselytising elsewhere, like the Backroom for example. This concept of "sin" is most likely not his concept of sin, nor is it my concept of sin.

I don't do it because i want something in return, it's just natural for me to treat people nicely in general, probably nicer than most people do.

I don't really think these assumptions are necessary.

Prussian to the Iron

10-06-2010, 23:32

I don't really think these assumptions are necessary.

assumptions? not really. people are total a-holes to eachother. I am almost never mean to anyone. except this 8th grader in my German class. pissing me off. frickin under-underclassmen. underunderunder. ********.

Hax

10-07-2010, 00:48

assumptions? not really. people are total a-holes to eachother. I am almost never mean to anyone. except this 8th grader in my German class. pissing me off. frickin under-underclassmen. underunderunder. bastards.

What, for the 20-ish people you know? Stop behaving like you're the only moral person in the world, please. It only puts off more and more people, which is quite counterproductive. There's a lot of good in the world, if you know where to find it.

Prussian to the Iron

10-07-2010, 00:56

pevergreen

10-07-2010, 01:34

I am almost never mean to anyone. except this 8th grader in my German class. pissing me off. frickin under-underclassmen. underunderunder. bastards.

But you're the only real moral guy. :rolleyes:

I've got nothing against being rude to people who deserve it. Out of my 274 student graduating year, I talk to 2, and I'm nice to about another 20. The others don't deserve it. But, as below...

i know I'm not, but out of the 2,000 people at my school, several hundred of which I at least know a small bit about, I don't see anybody that's anywhere near as moral as I am. I don't goad it anywhere, the only reason it comes up here is because you said that I made an assumption that you may not know much about. perhaps you were raised in a different environment? this is a mostly rich-kid school, so a lot of people are douchebags.

you know nothing about the places I attend or the people I know, they are probably far different from your own experiences.

It comes up quite a lot in your posts, and it doesn't give a good impression of you. I'm sure you're no worse than any other kid your age (and probably me at the same age) but it isn't exactly a glowing recommendation for you.
Also, why are you getting so defensive? You make these threads and we comment on them, we aren't your mother or father, we aren't going to wipe your arse.

again, I didn't say that I expected her to be with me 100% of the time, but she literally spent 0 time with me. if she didn't intend on even speaking to me except to tell me that she didnt want to dance, she shouldn't have ever accepted in the first place.

Its a bit hard for me to know what was said and what she was thinking. You offered to buy her ticket. That in itself is nothing, she is no obligated to spend time with you because of that, if you had of said (and you may have) that you wanted to go with her, and therefore buy her ticket, that would imply something from your side of the relationship, but she may not have thought that way and so you needed to make sure you were both on the same page. Sure, you can be a little pissed that she didn't 'hang' with you, but she didn't do anything wrong, she is a different person, with a different thought process than you.

Megas Methuselah

10-07-2010, 06:27

Maybe they dont have chivalry in Canada?

We count coup. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counting_coup)

Hax

10-07-2010, 10:06

you know nothing about the places I attend or the people I know, they are probably far different from your own experiences.

Correct, however, I do know human beings, and they're not nearly as bad as you describe them to be. And seriously, how much faith are you putting in a bunch of fifteen year olds?

Strike For The South

10-07-2010, 16:14

i know I'm not, but out of the 2,000 people at my school, several hundred of which I at least know a small bit about, I don't see anybody that's anywhere near as moral as I am. I don't goad it anywhere, the only reason it comes up here is because you said that I made an assumption that you may not know much about. perhaps you were raised in a different environment? this is a mostly rich-kid school, so a lot of people are douchebags.

you know nothing about the places I attend or the people I know, they are probably far different from your own experiences.

The old "woe is me" card.

Here's a news flash kid, people get screwed and peoples lives suck yet somehow they still have the courage to wake up in the morning and make your mcmuffin while you bitch and moan about the newest flavor of the hour.

Why get angry about something so inconsequntial? So she wasn't into you BFD, move on.

If this how you react about a girl I shudder to think about what happens to you when real problems come knocking at your door. Far worse things have befallen far better people.

Skullheadhq

10-07-2010, 16:47

now, just relax, be grateful, and pray that you'll never doing "that sin" before you got married :angel: and be proud, real men in earlier part of this century (and ancient ages) also doing that... including someone today who lived on the backside of the earth...

A wise man

Samurai Waki

10-07-2010, 18:42

... hmmm, lots of self pity going on these days 'round here. :curtain:

Look PI, fact of the matter is you're fifteen, and I'm not saying that to talk down to you. I'm saying it, because being a teenager sucks. It's that simple. Your chemical composition is completely askew, chances are you look the worst you will ever look in your entire life, and to top that off girls are starting to look REALLY, REALLY good right about now. Trouble with that is, you've also got the rest of your life to consider. Hooking up with girls, getting laid... that all sounds pretty awesome, except for the fact that girls around your age are also going through something similar to what you are going through. Except they become self-righteous, bipolar-masochists... and they don't get out of that mode until you are well into your early twenties, or actually, sometimes never (come to think of it). So, relax dude; take each day as it comes, focus on school, play TW at nights and on the weekends, be mischievous ... and for the love of god, don't be so serious... there's a certain comedic factor when it comes to courtship.

Moros

10-07-2010, 20:55

As has been said before, in this thread and previous ones. Perhaps it's all due to the fact that you're not ready.

Samurai Waki

10-07-2010, 21:48

As has been said before, in this thread and previous ones. Perhaps it's all due to the fact that you're not ready.

Of course he's not ready, nobody his age should be ready. However, a good lot are going to think they are, and are going to say "To hell with the consequences of my actions" because that's what youngsters tend to do, and only after he's gotten a good ribbing will he realize that it's a bad idea to share his woes about girls that could've been over an open forum.

Hax

10-07-2010, 22:38

because that's what youngsters tend to do, and only after he's gotten a good ribbing will he realize that it's a bad idea to share his woes about girls that could've been over an open forum.

I plead guilty, your honour. :bow:

Prussian to the Iron

10-08-2010, 03:19

It comes up quite a lot in your posts, and it doesn't give a good impression of you. I'm sure you're no worse than any other kid your age (and probably me at the same age) but it isn't exactly a glowing recommendation for you.
Also, why are you getting so defensive? You make these threads and we comment on them, we aren't your mother or father, we aren't going to wipe your arse.

Its a bit hard for me to know what was said and what she was thinking. You offered to buy her ticket. That in itself is nothing, she is no obligated to spend time with you because of that, if you had of said (and you may have) that you wanted to go with her, and therefore buy her ticket, that would imply something from your side of the relationship, but she may not have thought that way and so you needed to make sure you were both on the same page. Sure, you can be a little pissed that she didn't 'hang' with you, but she didn't do anything wrong, she is a different person, with a different thought process than you.

defensive? because you keep saying that I'm over-emphasizing/talking too much about it.

She did agree to go with me. I didn't offer to buy her ticket until a few days after she already said she would go with me. I went to her house, she called me her date (which in and of itself doesn't mean anything admittedly), and we rode together, after she agreed to go WITH ME. I'd say she understood that we went together.

Samurai Waki

10-08-2010, 03:38

defensive? because you keep saying that I'm over-emphasizing/talking too much about it.

She did agree to go with me. I didn't offer to buy her ticket until a few days after she already said she would go with me. I went to her house, she called me her date (which in and of itself doesn't mean anything admittedly), and we rode together, after she agreed to go WITH ME. I'd say she understood that we went together.

Even so, she agreed to go with you, not to be with you... and you're mixing the two up.

As Strike mentioned: Why be so upset over something so inconsequential?

You really shouldn't be losing any sleep over something so small, why make a mountain out of a mole hill? Rejection is a fact of life. As awesome as I am, I've been passed over for jobs and opportunities I thought I deserved... it happens, but if you let it get to you and affect you whose fault do you think it is? It's not their fault for not realizing your awesomeness, it's your fault. Some people just can't handle how cool I really am, and it's their loss not mine.

Prussian to the Iron

10-08-2010, 04:08

Samurai Waki

10-08-2010, 04:23

so, agreeing to be my date, go with me, let me pay for her ticket, take pictures beforehand and shes the only one who didnt think it was a date date.....and she meant she would go with me, not be with me, despite the fact that I rode with her, so I really went with her? I think you're changing the intended meaning. we both knew what it meant, but she decided to go off and leave me by myself rather than even dance when I asked her, or at least talk to me.

Not at all. It's a non-binding contract, she didn't agree to do anything with you other than go (and even if she did sign a contract that she'd go and hang out with you the whole time it would still be against her Constitutional Rights) and therefore she's free to do whatever she wants... leave you in the dust even. I'm only using this as an example, because even under the law she's in the right. A rose by any other name, is still a rose; love it, hate it... there's nothing you can do about it. Move on.

a completely inoffensive name

10-08-2010, 05:16

Holy crap man, ***** more.

Megas Methuselah

10-08-2010, 07:30

I was used by a girl before, but not out of money. She just wanted to get in my pants.

Life can be unfair sometimes, I know.

Skullheadhq

10-08-2010, 13:31

I was used by a girl before, but not out of money. She just wanted to get in my pants.

Lies.

caravel

10-08-2010, 13:55

Gah, kids are under so much pressure to grow up these days. Enjoy your youth while you can.

Louis VI the Fat

10-08-2010, 14:35

I too have been used by women before!!

Just last month! I only agreed to take them out. But Vanessa and Frida, the two eightteen year old Swedish girls, assumed it meant I agreed to a sex date with them. :no:

It was absolutely dreadful! Frida, the blond chesty one, took advantage of my advanced state of inebriation to get into my pants, while Vanessa, the redhead, tore off her *censored* then reached out her *censored* and *censored* my *censored* .

Awful. :no:

Strike For The South

10-08-2010, 14:37

pevergreen

10-08-2010, 17:13

Vanessa did what?

Because I'm trying to think what you are implying and I can't think of anything that fits, and if it does, the first two don't need to be censored. :tongue:

Prussian to the Iron

10-08-2010, 20:03

Not at all. It's a non-binding contract, she didn't agree to do anything with you other than go (and even if she did sign a contract that she'd go and hang out with you the whole time it would still be against her Constitutional Rights) and therefore she's free to do whatever she wants... leave you in the dust even. I'm only using this as an example, because even under the law she's in the right. A rose by any other name, is still a rose; love it, hate it... there's nothing you can do about it. Move on.

okay whatever. I'm well within the realm of reasonability in believeing she would do something other than leave me, as you put it, in the dust. now you're starting to sound like a lawyer; yah, its not a contract or anything binding obviously, but why would she agree to go with me (before I offred to buy a ticket) if she intended on leaving me alone? think logically, not lawfully.