Rent a German

[English assassin]

According to today's Times, there is a website where you can rent a German. And its true: http://www.rentagerman.de

So, the obvious question, what uses can patrons think of for a rented German? (In the case of the Times, filling up an 800 word article on a slow news day it seems).

And what might we rent other nationalities for?

[Proletariat]

“It was awesome! Having a German at the office for a week was a huge success! Since then, my relationship with my co-workers has improved big time! I’ll definitely do it again- It was, like, “oh my god, this is so it!”

Adam G., 48 (San Francisco)


- from the testimonials.


Good golly. People from San Francisco never cease to live up to their reputations (no, not the gay rep. just the 'being weird' one).

[Ser Clegane]

Hmmm ... just had a session
at the dentist that will
result in a hefty bill
:thinking2:

...

...

...

ca. 1000 EUR payment a day
just for being a German
:thinking2:

...

...

...

:idea:

This is heaven-sent :wideeyed: :greedy:


Now I just need some mor... uhm ... customers :sneaky: :deal:

[Proletariat]

I'd like to rent a French woman to teach me to speak filthily to American men over here.

[English assassin]

Hmm, I am trying to see how having a German in the office for a week could improve your relationship with your co-workers, but all of my theories are uncharitable to Germans so I shall desist...

If you were going on holiday a German could be quite handy for bagging the sun loungers for you? And if I suddenly found myself running the nation's railways I would certainly rent a German, assuming that is there were no Swiss available.

[Proletariat]

I remember someone on this board mentioning a stereotype about Germans that involved (beach?) towels. Can anyone fill me in?

I thought it was Ser Clegane, but am not really sure.

[KukriKhan]

I think it was towel-in-chair-to-indicate-'reserved' syndrome. ~:)

I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem.

[Proletariat]

Thanks.

And if you don't mind paying in Jack Daniels, I think you could easily land a Japanese gentlemen.

[Byzantine Prince]

I've rented A.Saturnus years ago. That's why he had to leave the backroom.

[Ser Clegane]

I think it was towel-in-chair-to-indicate-'reserved' syndrome. ~:)

Indeed - and it is a very "special" issue between German and English tourists ~:)

[A.Saturnus]

I've rented A.Saturnus years ago. That's why he had to leave the backroom.

Well, anyone can see what use you had for someone of my profession, BP.

[GoreBag]

I suppose a rented German could show me the secret to always being punctual. Also, how to chug seven beers in only a few minutes and not throw up (did anyone else see that episode of Sin Cities?).

[Duke Malcolm]

I think that I would prefer a Belgian to a German...

[Samurai Waki]

I don't know, renting a German might be annoying.. depending on the wrong one, knowing my luck I'd get stuck with one that loves listening to David Hasselhoff Music.

[Ser Clegane]

I'd get stuck with one that loves listening to David Hasselhoff Music.

:brood:

This is so not funny...

[Samurai Waki]

Sorry... I did not mean to offend :bow:

[Ser Clegane]

Sorry... I did not mean to offend :bow:

Hehe, no problem - this was meant jokingly. I just remember being on a training with several people from the UK who kept reminding me how successful Hasselhoff had been in Germany.

The not funny part about it is that it is the terrible truth :help:

[Samurai Waki]

lol, I just watched too much Norm McDonald on SNL as a kid. I always just thought it was a farce.

[English assassin]

I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem

There would indeed, you'll only get an Englishman if you are paying in beer. This would not be ideal if you wanted any work done, although I suppose you could also rent a German, give them each a towel, put one and only one sunlounger in your garden, and stand back and watch the fun develop.

[doc_bean]

I think that I would prefer a Belgian to a German...

We've got plenty, what would you need one for ?

[Krusader]

Hehe, no problem - this was meant jokingly. I just remember being on a training with several people from the UK who kept reminding me how successful Hasselhoff had been in Germany.

The not funny part about it is that it is the terrible truth :help:

Well...if you Germans are lucky Steven Seagal might become as big in France, as Hasselhoff is in Germany. He released an album, and only in France ~:eek:

http://www.neijia.net/neijia/obrazy/39/seagal/okladka.jpg

http://www.neijia.net/neijia/obrazy/39/seagal/seagal.jpg

[Duke Malcolm]

We've got plenty, what would you need one for ?

Just to be Belgian would suffice, nothing fancy... Oh, if they could bring chocolate, too...

[doc_bean]

Just to be Belgian would suffice, nothing fancy... Oh, if they could bring chocolate, too...

Owkay, what language should they speak, we come in Dutch, French and German speaking versions.

Maybe I should start a 'rent a Belgian' site ~:cheers:

[The Wizard]

Rent a Belgian? You'd better not rent this cheap rip-off of a Dutchman, if I were you I'd stick with the tried and true original ~;)

Please pay in beer and/or verified European valuta

[Ser Clegane]

He released an album, and only in France

And I sure hope it stays that way :stare:

[The Wizard]

BTW, I wonder if you can hire a specific type of German? I don't want a lazy Bavarian -- I want a reliable Saupreuss! ~D

[doc_bean]

Rent a Belgian? You'd better not rent this cheap rip-off of a Dutchman, if I were you I'd stick with the tried and true original ~;)

Please pay in beer and/or verified European valuta

We make better beer, end of discussion ~:cheers:

[The Wizard]

I agree that compensates almost all the way for the rest.































































Almost.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.

But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem.
No problem. Us Germans take payment in beer, and the Dutchies probably would to, if they're anything like us.

[A.Saturnus]

BTW, I wonder if you can hire a specific type of German? I don't want a lazy Bavarian -- I want a reliable Saupreuss! ~D

Hey, nowadays the Preißen are the lazy ones, Bavaria is the driving force of German economy.

[2ddragon]

I don't know about payment in beer - I would take payment in spirits - especially if you had some Absinth or meths lying around

[Brutus]

No problem. Us Germans take payment in beer, and the Dutchies probably would to, if they're anything like us.
No, we would defenitely go for money, not beer. Money. We love money. We're Dutch.

Why money?

So we can BUY beer.

[The Wizard]

No, so we invest it in business practices to get even more money! ~D

[TonkaToys]

And I sure hope it stays that way :stare:

Good grief... I second that motion and suggest we hire a lot of Germans, Belgians, Dutch and other nationalities to repel any attempt by Steven to launch his songs in any other countries.
The Americans can supply the beer as they've allowed him to produce this "music".

[English assassin]

It does make you wonder who's next.... please god not that little Belgian, what's his name, Jean Claude Van Damme.