The Kitchen and Cookery Thread!

[MSB]

Come on chefs/cooking enthusiasts! Post your favorite recipes and meal ideas here so they can be tried and tasted by the whole community.

[Adrian II]

Tortellini al paparazzo



* Cook 2 portions of fresh tortellini al formaggio for 5 minutes, strain till dry

* Gently fry the fat out of some finely chopped bacon

* Add crushed clove of garlic and ½ of finely chopped onion to frying pan, stir till glazed

* Add 2 peeled and squashed tomatoes, ½ pound of well-washed spinach and ½ pound of diced ham into frying pan, stir for 3 minutes

* pour bowl of cream, whip 2 eggs through cream, add liberal amount of freshly ground black pepper

* Spread tortellini on bottom of shallow overproof dish

* add contents of frying pan to cream, pour onto tortellini without stirring

* Sprinkle with parmigiano

* Heat in oven (150 °C) till cream curdles



Buon appetito, ragazzi! :coffeenews:


You have been reading a public service announcement on behalf of Adrian II ®

[MSB]

:thumbsup:. I'll get the wife to make it tomorrow.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

KingWarman88's Soup

Water
2 Boxes of Soup
Prasely
Cinnimion
Organio
Sage Leaves
Some other Herb

taste good :-) :-), Make it myself :-) :-)

[King Henry V]

A similar thread to this which passed not too long ago was Gah-stronomy (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=70515).

[Adrian II]

:thumbsup:. I'll get the wife to make it tomorrow.
You will get the WHAT to do it?????



The consequences are on your own head... :brood:

Listen buddy, last time I was active on this forum I ran a thread called 'Culinary Fascism II'. You wanna know why? Because thread number I auto-destructed after a woman posted in it.

Catch my drift?

Between you and me: the kitchen is not a natural habitat for women. The main reason being that they are label-addicts. No offence, but your woman is likely to consult either the tortellini box (that says 'cooking time 12-16 minutes) or the spinach lemma in her cook book (where it says 'wash, strain, cook, strain again, chop into shapeless mass, dump on iron dresser until devoid of all life and taste') and spoil the whole dish without batting so much as an eyebrow.


https://img212.imageshack.us/img212/7150/kokkiehs1.gif (https://imageshack.us) :sick:

Since when do women have any business being in a kitchen? Is this becoming a trend? Don! Beirut! We have to stop this.


You have been reading a public service announcement on behalf of Adrian II ®

[Beirut]

Since when do women have any business being in a kitchen? Is this becoming a trend? Don! Beirut! We have to stop this.


You have been reading a public service announcement on behalf of Adrian II ®

If we don't let the women in the kitchen who is going to do the dishes?

(Oh, that's right... me. I do the dishes at home. :shame: )

[Adrian II]

If we don't let the women in the kitchen who is going to do the dishes?

(Oh, that's right... me. I do the dishes at home. :shame: )So do I, half the time. But they can. I mean, sure, women can do the dishes, too.




If supervised.




At gunpoint. :inquisitive:

[Andres]

At gunpoint. :inquisitive:

Might I add :whip: ?

*** Miss TheCunning comes in and yells: "Andres, what are you doing behind that PC, you useless lazy husband. Go do something useful! Do the dishes :whip: Now! I can't help you, because I have to watch "Beauty and the Nerd" :whip: ***
Stupid real life thing...

:shame:

[MSB]

My wife cooks most things better than me so I just leave her too it. However she does make me dish it up. She also makes me buy the food too!

[Shahed]

Gamer's Chicken Curry

A
-2 Chicken legs+thighs with bone, skinned and split at joint
-2 Onions chopped or quartered
-2 tomatoes chopped or quartered
-1 bell pepper chopped or quartered
-2 teaspoon Garam Masala
-1 teaspoon tumeric
-1 teaspoon red chilli powder
-4 tablespoons butter, olive oil, or any other form of fat.

B
-1 cup Basmati rice
-2 cups water

1. Add everything in A simultaneously to a casserole.
2. Add enough water to allow it to simmer gently for an hour. Maybe 1 liter.
3. Turn on the heat to maximum and bring to a rolling boil.
4. Turn heat down and let simer for 90 minutes, mix with large spoon, checking every 25 minutes to make sure nothing sticks.

5. Go play games.

6. 30 minutes before eating, mix everything in B in a deep pan. Bring to the boil, turn heat down to minimum and let simmer for 20-30 minutes.
7. Go back to the games.

8. Get a glass of rosé from the fridge.
9. Serves 1 happy gamer, in front of PC.

[Andres]

This is an old one, sent to me by a friend a while ago:

Whiskey Fruit Cake:


Ingredients:
1 cup water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Preparation:

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

~:cheers:

[MSB]

Nice one! :thumbsup:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Pita bread+chedder cheese. Put under broiler for a few minutes until cheese is melted. Spread mayonnaise on it and put a bunch of brussel sprouts on too. Delicious.

[KukriKhan]

KukriKhan's Kant-Fail Prime Rib (Beef) Roast

Basically, it's:

Step 1) Scare it into submission
Step 2) Nurse it toward gastronomic goodness

Pre-heat the oven to its maximum setting (usually about 550F). This will take awhile; drink beer and/or fire up MTW while you're waiting.

In a little bowl, mix your favorite spices and herbs with a little olive oil - I like garlic, onion, basil & rosemary... sometimes a little curry powder. Forget the measuring cups & spoons. You're a guy and don't need that stuff. With a basting brush, if you're the fussy type, or your (clean) bare hands if you're a barbarian like me, rub that mixture on the outside edge of the roast (the side opposite the rib bones). Some of it will fall off. That's OK.

Put the roast in an oven-proof pan. Any kind will do... if you find one with sides that come half-way up the standing roast, that's best.

Do a little math: How many pounds is the roast? x 7 minutes per pound. e.g. 5 lb x 7 min = 35 minutes. That's how long it's gonna sit in that blazing inferno.

Put the roast in the oven. This part's important, and the only bit you really need to pay close attention to. Note the current time, and add the result of your above math. In our example, we got 35 minutes. If it's 1115 now, let that roast sit there until 1150. Not a minute less, not a minute more. You'll be tempted to open the oven door, 'cause the meat is gonna make a heck of a noise in protest. Don't do it. This is for its own good! (and your's)

When the time is up, turn the oven heat down to its lowest setting (around 215F), and walk away for 2 hours. And still: DON'T OPEN THE OVEN DOOR. Magic is happening in there, and you'll break the spell, ruining everything, if you do.

In summary:
1) Hi heat
2) Lucky 7 (minutes per pound)
3) Low heat
4) Long time

You'll end up with a beautiful succulent piece of meat that slices medium from the outside (for Mrs Kukri), to bloody rare on the inside (for yours truly).

Serve with potatoes & cole slaw, and use the drippings from the roast pan for dipping. Horseradish is a good condiment, its pungent tang off-setting the sweet beef. I've always liked Yorkshire Pudding with my Prime Rib, but making it requires more ambition than I have.

[Yawning Angel]

Really simple fish dish

Take a sheet of aluminium foil, small dash of olive oil, place a couple of fish fillets (salmon, trout, whatever) on it.

In a bowl soften up some butter, add lemon juice, (freshly chopped) parsely and dill. Mix

Spread (-ish) the herb butter over teh top of the fillets, squeeze over a bit more lemon juice.

Fold over the foil to make a sealed packet, put in medium oven for 15 to 20 minutes.

Serve with new potatoes plus green beans, or anything else you fancy.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Evil's Hot Herb Bread

Ingredients

2 tablespoons of chives
2 tablespoons of fresh parsley
1 tablespoon of finely chopped dill
2 small sections of fresh garlic
Melted, lightly salted or unsalted butter. Enough so that the herbs float on top of it. But not too much.
1 baguette/French bread

Method
Melt the butter until it becomes a runny liquid.

Throw in the herbs and mix it.

Use a bread knife to slice bread (or door-to-door salesmen). Slice into thin pieces, about four fifths of the way through.

Use knife to spread butter mixture evenly in between the slices, coating the pieces in a thin layer.

Spread remainder of butter mixture over bread evenly. Wrap in aluminum foil.

Throw it in the oven for about fifteen minutes. Temperature should be set to make the bread crisp, but not quite as dry as the product you started with.

Serve right away. Delicious as an appetizer with red wine or mineral water.

[Samurai Waki]

Thank god my Fiancee is a Kitchen Nazi, and won't let me anywhere near food, unless it involves grilling. After that one time I made enchiladas and she nearly choked to death, and the other time when I made the breakfast and the eggs were to runny, the toast to burnt, the bacon under cooked, and the Pancakes still in a semi gelatinous state.:laugh4:

So for the most part, I never go anywhere near the kitchen.

[Adrian II]

Thank god my Fiancee is a Kitchen Nazi, and won't let me anywhere near food, unless it involves grilling. (..) So for the most part, I never go anywhere near the kitchen.Your fiancee must be an extraordinary woman and you are certainly to be congratulated.

This compliment may seem at odds with the stance I took above, but it isn't actually. You see, all is well in your kitchen as long as a firm hierarchy, grounded in sound culinary conviction, has been established and is being enforced from day to day, if need be with the aid of divorce threats, torture instruments and loaded shotguns. Order and hierarchy are the core of Culinary Fascism. Your woman is eligible for membership of the movement and the concomitant badge with the culinary fasces will be sent to her by mail.

And you, Wazikashi, will not defile that badge by so much as touching it, if you know what is good for you.

Runny eggs, eh?... :brood:

By the way: great recipes, gentlemen! I wil try some of those this weekend.
:bow:

[Andres]

Thank god my Fiancee

:stop:

:inquisitive: You're going to get married? :inquisitive:

Congratulations !!! :balloon2: :cheerleader: :flowers: ~:cheers:

And don't worry about the wife ruling the kitchen. If she is the better cook, you only have to enjoy the food.

The trick is to cunningly command (without making it sound as an order off course) them what to prepare and then make them think they rule the kitchen because they prepare the meal :bounce: Nah, who am I kidding. Before you know it, you'll end up like Beirut: you'll do the dishes :shame:

[BigTex]

Because the stuff in the stores just suck and air popers don't let you get much flavor in the popcorn.
Homeade microwave popcorn.

1/4 cup of popcorn seeds.

2 tablespoons of oil (any kind will work, olive oil, peanut, butter flavored, vegtable.)

2 tsp's of popcorn salt or finer granulated salt.

Put it all into a brown paper bag shake it and place it in the microwave for 3-4 minutes, until pop's are a few seconds appart.

[Beirut]

Nah, who am I kidding. Before you know it, you'll end up like Beirut: you'll do the dishes :shame:

Yes, but I do them very, very well. :knight:

[Csargo]

Yes, but I do them very, very well. :knight:

I hope you don't do it with that sword Beirut.

[KukriKhan]

Our Brit & some Euro members often tout the scrumptiousness of their curries. They're almost unknown here in the US. Anyone have a favorite recipe?

[Red Peasant]

Our Brit & some Euro members often tout the scrumptiousness of their curries. They're almost unknown here in the US. Anyone have a favorite recipe?

Err ... the vast majority of us Brits eat Indian curries at restaurants or from takeaways, as our Bangladeshi friends - who seem to run most of the establishments in the UK - are better at this stuff than us. My favourite 'Indian' dish - not a curry as such - is Lamb Rogan Josh, but I wouldn't have the foggiest how to cook it! :embarassed:

Personally, I make pasta dishes or stir-fry anything edible that happens to be in the kitchen, no recipes, just chuck it in! :2thumbsup:

[The Stranger]

actually very funny... i wanted to start a thread like this right now... I have to cook dinner for a month since my mom is gone and my dad is working... cutting trees and moderating annoying little... eh lovely forums... So I was wondering if you guys could post fairly easy but very delicious recipies for 4 persons... Thanx in advance :bow:

[Beirut]

Our Brit & some Euro members often tout the scrumptiousness of their curries. They're almost unknown here in the US. Anyone have a favorite recipe?

There is a very good selection of imported curry pastes available here. Light years better than the dried bottled stuff. Not as good as authentic, but still darn tasty. Dress them up with your own style and they are suprisingly good. We always have several in the cupboard.

http://www.asianhomegourmet.com.sg/categories.asp?cID=3&c=28910

For the most part with these back-of-the-package recipies, you brown the meat, fry the paste with it a bit, then add the onions and what have you, a bit more time frying, then add equal parts yogurt and milk or yogurt and chicken stock. Let that sucker cook lid on for a while, then lid off for the last bit to thicken it up a bit and the colourful veggies near the end so they still have a bit of bite to them.

Warm up some nan bread and pour a Guinness and you have a helluva nice meal. :yes:

[Andres]

I hope you don't do it with that sword Beirut.

Off course not. He uses his axe. I think :inquisitive:

[Adrian II]

There is a very good selection of imported curry pastes available here. Light years better than the dried bottled stuff. Not as good as authentic, but still darn tasty. Dress them up with your own style and they are suprisingly good.What Beirut says. :yes:

It helps if you prepare good steamy (safran) rice with the curries, too. Makes it twice as tasty.

A few minutes before serving you can add whole cashew nuts to the curry. You can have pineapple parts or some other fruit of your liking as a side-dish. Or cucumber in in an Indian yoghurt dressing with roast mustard seed.

Curries have one huge advantage, apart from their scrumptiousness of course. They are the ideal food for large groups. Goes with wine, beer, lemonade, port wine, soda's, spirits even, whatever you like. You have your colleagues or your kid's class over for dinner? Prepare a curry a hour or three beforehand. Have others cut the fresh pineapples, cucumbers, etcetera. All you have to do is watch the rice - just don't leave your post beside that rice, soldier, because a good rice is half the curry.

[Kagemusha]

The best in life,ofcourse if you dont count crushing your enemies and listening the lamentation of their women is food.Ofcourse There is the other thing,but we dont want to corrupt the children with such talk now,dont we?

So i present you the food: Steak

What you need is a good chunk of meat.Not less then 200gr will do or you will stay hungry and vicious. It has to be filet most suitable one kind beef or game.Then you need butter, Gognac,real cream(no veggie fake stuff),meat stock,tabasco,salt and black pepper and a box of matches.
Now you wonder what are you going to do with all that other stuff with the meat.Those are for the sauce,gravy or what other funky english words there are for that.
What to do next:
Before you start anything else take the meat on the room temperature and let it breath and warm up so its ready to be roasted. Dont smash the filet with any kind of hammers while you could have urges to do that. Just rub salt and pepper into it.
Heat up your stove like never before,it has to be hot as inferno.Slam a frying pan to it and heat the bugger until its almost melting.Throw the butter on the pan and let it melt. Next place the steak on the pan.You are supposed to place it there so the cutting edge of the stake touches the pan. Fry the stake for minute and a half from both sides. Next comes the phase that can cause you a death in fierce inferno.So turn off if you have somekind of air conditioning near your stove or you will burn your house to the ground. Pour some Gognac at the stake and the pan,then light a match and torch the stake.
Once the flames go out pour in the cream and good amount of Tabasco. Take of the heat from the stove and stir so the sauce doest burn into your pan let the sauce boil gently for five minutes. If it seems that you are failing to keep the sauce in the pan and its disappearing add some meat stock to it.And then slam you teeth on the stake and eat it.Satisfaction guaranteed. If you want you can create some funky side dishes,but someone else can talk about those.:smash:

ps.Remember to keep an agressive stance for intere cooking operation or the results will be mediocre.~:mad

[Beirut]

Curries have one huge advantage, apart from their scrumptiousness of course. They are the ideal food for large groups. Goes with wine, beer, lemonade, port wine, soda's, spirits even, whatever you like. You have your colleagues or your kid's class over for dinner? Prepare a curry a hour or three beforehand. Have others cut the fresh pineapples, cucumbers, etcetera. All you have to do is watch the rice - just don't leave your post beside that rice, soldier, because a good rice is half the curry.

My dearest Adrian II,

What a truth though hath spoken. I can't think of any other meal that is as low stress to serve and as universally appreciated as a rocking good curry.

We had some friends and their kids over a few weeks ago. Everybody was exhausted from the week. We served up some BBQ pork filet satay made with one of those paste packets, and some leftover lamb curry (another spice paste creation), put containers of hummus and baba ghanoush on the table, a big bowl of jasmine rice and some warm nan bread. (And several bottles of cheap red wine.) Buffet time.

The whole thing took about a half an hour to cook and eight of us feasted like kings. You could have served that meal to anybody and they would have thought it was great.

[Dave1984]

just don't leave your post beside that rice, soldier, because a good rice is half the curry.


I don't know about that, Adrian II, because I've found a good naan bread to be far far more satisfying than rice with a curry, for the whole hardcore scooping it up kind of thing, and the combination of flavours again is much more satisfying.
That's not to say I don't love rice with a curry, just that, well, naan bread over rice any day of the week.

[Adrian II]

We served up some BBQ pork filet satay made with one of those paste packets, and some leftover lamb curry (another spice paste creation), put containers of hummus and baba ghanoush on the table, a big bowl of jasmine rice and some warm nan bread. (And several bottles of cheap red wine.) Buffet time.*nods, observes respectful silence, then goes and checks own curry stock* :idea2:
That's not to say I don't love rice with a curry, just that, well, naan bread over rice any day of the week.Oh sure, to each his own. Naan bread is a delicacy in its own right, no doubt about that.

[Andres]

Everybody has to love curry. And whoever loves curry must adore tikka massala. Chicken tikka massala, one of my favorite meals, introduced to me by my dear wife.

There are many different recipes, but don't you ever, ever forget to add the Saffron.




One of the many variants (recipe I got from a friend of mine, whose boyfriend happens to be a real c(r)ook):

6 Skinless Boneless Chicken Thighs / Breasts cut into 1 inch pieces (some prefer thighs for this dish, I prefer breast though)
Salt to taste
1 Teaspoon Red chili powder
4 to 6 Tablespoons Lemon juice
1 table spoon Butter for basting

For the marinade
6 to 8 Tablespoons Yogurt
2 Tablespoons Heavy cream
2 Teaspoons Ginger paste
2 Teaspoons Garlic Paste
1 Teaspoon Cumin Powder
1 to 2 teaspoons Garam masala / Curry Powder
1/4th teaspoon Saffron (don't forget it!)
Red and Orange food color a few drops each.

Make deep incisions in the chicken with a knife, approximately 2 to 3 inches apart. Make a paste of the salt, red chili powder and lemon juice and rub over the chicken evenly. Keep aside for 15 minutes. Wash hands immediately. Whisk the yogurt in a large bowl, add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Rub the chicken with this mixture. Keep aside for 20 minutes to an hour. Preheat oven to 180° C (+/- 350 degrees F). Skewer the chicken on a skewer. Keep a tray underneath to collect the drippings. Bake in the oven for 20 to 35 minutes. Remove the chicken and baste with butter.

(you can grill it for about 10 minutes an grill pan, to get it golden brown, not necessary though).

For the gravy :

2 Tomatoes chopped fine.
1 medium onions chopped fine.
1 teaspoon Ginger Garlic Paste
2 Tablespoons Oil
1/2 tsp. Cumin pwd
1/2 tsp. Coriander pwd
1/2 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 th cup of milk

Heat the oil, when hot add the ginger garlic paste and sauté till golden brown. Add the onions; sauté till golden brown in color on medium high. It is the caramelization of the onions that brings the rich soft aroma and flavor to the dish. Add the tomatoes and keep sautéing till the oil starts to separate. This should take another 5-8 minutes. Add the cumin and coriander powders. Sauté for a few seconds. Now add the cooked chicken pieces. Sauté for a few more minutes. Tired of sautéing…That ‘s the trick to make your recipe turn out great. So don’t quit now. Add the salt and sugar, increase the heat and slowly stir in the milk, stirring constantly. Let the chicken simmer on low for another 5-9 minutes. Garnish with Chopped cilantro leaves and fried cashews (don't forget the cashews, they are mjammie).

Serve on a bed of plain rice. Enjoy with lemon wedges and raw "red onion rings" soaked in vinegar and the mint chutney and off course some naan bread, right out of the oven.

[MSB]

Aulus' Tea:

Method:

Place lots of mint leaves into a cup.
Pour boiling water into the cup (make sure that it is only three quarters full) with the mint leaves in it, wait for a minuite while the flavour spreads throughout the water. If you can't wait get a spoon and crush them. Move onto the next step when you can smell the mint in the water.
Using a seive (or tea strainer) get the mint leaves out of the mixture and place the fluid in another cup.
Place lemon juice into the cup to a ratio of 1:3. That is one hundred ml of lemon juice to every three hundered ml of water.
Add two soup spoons of sugar and stir.
Now add a tea bag and stir again till it goes brown with a yellow tint.
Drink your mixture and enjoy :san_grin:

Remember: the kettle is hot, hot, hot. Do not try this at home :san_cheesy:

[The_Mark]

food:Steak
Mind you, a 13kg chunk o' pork ham is the seasonal replacement for the tiny steaks, at least in Finland.

I was wondering, what kind of Christmas dishes you all feast upon? Here the main course is the aforementioned ham, with additional potatoes, casseroles (liver, carrot, potato, swede), salads, (Karelian) stew and a few smoked fish. Everything on the basic premise of having good, simple foodstuff enough to feed a family thrice the size for a week.