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View Full Version : Forget Cigars and Cigs; Going Down Gives You Cancer



Lemur
05-10-2007, 16:11
Or so says some new research from Johns Hopkins (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/05/10/special_rumpy_terrible_price/). The more partners you orally pleasure, so they claim, the greater your chance for cancer of the throat or mouth. That pesky HPV virus is to blame. Looks as though everybody may need to be vaccinated someday.

Oral sex could be more dangerous than cigars

Looks bad for Clinton either way

By Lewis Page, Published Thursday 10th May 2007 14:09 GMT

Painstaking academic research indicates that promiscuous oral sex can carry a higher risk of throat cancer than smoking or boozing.

A report based on a hospital study of 100 oropharyngeal cancer sufferers and 200 controls, carried out by Johns Hopkins scientists, appeared today in the New England Journal of Medicine. In it, the splendidly-named Dr Gypsyamber D'Souza and her co-authors make some noteworthy conclusions.

"A high lifetime number of vaginal-sex partners (26 or more) was associated with oropharyngeal cancer," the boffins wrote. It's hard to say what that really means in terms of rumpy-associated risk; but El Reg suggests that it does offer at least one piece of concrete info. Namely, that if you are a Johns Hopkins scientist, chances are you have done it with significantly less than 26 people.

According to the scientists, oral sex is a vastly more dangerous business than plain-vanilla rogering, with just six or more partners required to increase the danger of throat cancer. Again it seemed that the Johns Hopkins crew had perhaps led relatively quiet lives, as they considered that half-a-dozen was a "high" final score.

The increased multipartner-jigjig throat cancer risk was due to the likelihood of becoming infected with human papillomavirus (HPV), thought to be implicated in various kinds of cancer including the cervical variety.

The study appeared to suggest that throat-cancer risks from booze and cigs were insignificant compared to those from getting too frisky. Of course, that doesn't mean that drink and baccy are safer than the other things you might - in this context - put in your mouth. Oral sex doesn't (as far we as we know) cause liver failure or lung cancer. So don't log off that swingers' site and rush out for a sixpack or 20 Bensons just yet.

On the face of it, however, this really is excellent news for cigar fanciers, who seldom breathe the fumes of their chosen weed into their lungs and so avoid many of the risks faced by aficionados of the smaller, more economical paper-wrapped smoke. One of cigar-lovers' primary risks is that of cancer in the throat or mouth; and it now appears that this danger is actually insignificant.

Of course, certain circumstances leap to mind in which this might not be true. It seems possible that former US President Bill Clinton may be reading the New England Journal of Medicine with close attention this afternoon.

Bijo
05-10-2007, 16:13
Grrr, so all these women I've-- ARRRRGH. And I even quit smoking months ago!

Sjakihata
05-10-2007, 16:22
I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriends now ;)

Don Corleone
05-10-2007, 16:25
Before I fire off the witty quip I had in mind, I need to remember that Prole's back from Australia and surfing along. :lipsrsealed2:

I don't know what any of you are worried about. Somehow, I doubt any computer geeks hanging around a gaming forum are going to rack up 26 target-acquisitions in their lifetime. :inquisitive: Oh wait, there is Beirut... uh dude, time to find out just how good that amazing Canadian health-care system really is...

Lemur
05-10-2007, 16:25
I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriends now ;)
I trust you were a gentleman and returned all favors. If not, I really do feel sorry or your girlfriends.

Big King Sanctaphrax
05-10-2007, 16:26
This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?

Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.

English assassin
05-10-2007, 16:32
Well, this is a blow.

HAH. Beat Greg to it, yippeee

Lemur
05-10-2007, 16:36
This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?
Here's the full paper (http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/356/19/1944), perhaps you'll find more helpful info.

Gregoshi
05-10-2007, 16:43
HAH. Beat Greg to it, yippeee
Well, I saw this thread before anyone had posted in it and decided to walk away. Too many sex based threads have me punning in the gutter lately. I'm feeling like a dirty old man. Gotta clean up my act a little and get, you know, respectable-like and all.

Besides, I agree with BKS, the article is blowin' smoke...

I am pathetic. :shame:

Rodion Romanovich
05-10-2007, 16:59
Very good, now there's a bigger market for full-body covering rubber overalls

Can't say I'm surprised - the HPV virus is quite common these days and a safe method of acquiring it, if you wish to, is through practising oral sex.

ShadeHonestus
05-10-2007, 20:19
We need to nip this press release in the bud!

If there was ever a reason to appoint an official Orgah proganda minister to control such things...this is it!

Seamus Fermanagh
05-10-2007, 20:31
If we stop all sexual contact now we can wipe out such health problems as this in one generation.

ShadeHonestus
05-10-2007, 20:36
Well lets start with my daughter's generation, she's never going to be allowed intercourse anyways. :smash:

Ice
05-10-2007, 20:40
Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.

Hahahahaha

Marshal Murat
05-10-2007, 21:11
Looks bad for Clinton either way


So they do have a sense of humor

Whacker
05-10-2007, 21:30
This is kind of a rubbish article; they don't even give a relative risk increase. Where's the beef?

Oropharyngeal cancer is pretty uncommon, anyway... Which is a good job, because the number of people I've had risky, unprotected sex with is measured by the gross! And some of them were kind of skanky.

Nominated for post of the week, possibly month.

Hosakawa Tito
05-10-2007, 23:48
Smells fishy to me....

Whacker
05-11-2007, 09:19
Smells fishy to me....

There's no need to 'piss' and 'moan' about it though!!!

:hide:

:balloon2:

Major Robert Dump
05-12-2007, 10:48
I'm dead.

They were all women, though, I swear on it.

Fragony
05-12-2007, 10:51
Sucky news like this is kinda hard to swallow.....

GoreBag
05-15-2007, 09:13
I trust you were a gentleman and returned all favors. If not, I really do feel sorry or your girlfriends.


Hahahahaha! Hahaha...oh, that's good.

...ahahahaha.

Alexander the Pretty Good
05-15-2007, 18:14
:book:

https://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m260/TsarZiedonis/1160713541744.jpg