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View Full Version : Chuck Norris' Tears DO NOT Kill Cancer!



CountArach
12-24-2007, 04:40
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/wr_nm/norris_lawsuit_dc


NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him.
Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit.

The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.

It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard."

"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true.

"Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit.

The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment.

Someone! Someone! Alert the medical world! We thought we had that cure, but now I am not so sure.

Reverend Joe
12-24-2007, 05:27
Wow.

Csargo
12-24-2007, 05:29
Carlos, I chuckled.

Marshal Murat
12-24-2007, 05:34
WHAT? Those were lies!?

Vladimir
12-24-2007, 06:01
WHAT? Those were lies!?

Don't panic. Don't panic. DON'T PANIC!!! RAAAAAAA!!!

Tratorix
12-24-2007, 07:02
WHAT? Those were lies!?

You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless? :furious3:

seireikhaan
12-24-2007, 07:06
You mean this bottle of Chuck Norris's tears I bought on Ebay is worthless? :furious3:
Not if you sell them to someone else who hasn't heard the news.~;)

Adrian II
12-25-2007, 00:54
WHAT? Those were lies!?Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth. :yes:

Boyar Son
12-25-2007, 02:16
Quick, I need chuck norris tears and FAST

Gregoshi
12-25-2007, 05:52
Quick, I need chuck norris tears and FAST
I can tell you you won't find them in the shed.

Boyar, seek ye the ziggurat built in honour of Chuck - also known as the Tiers of Chuck Norris.

Lemur
12-25-2007, 05:53
And to think we used to keep all of these puns to ourselves in the Backroom ...

Gregoshi
12-25-2007, 06:00
And to think we used to keep all of these puns to ourselves in the Backroom ...
I'm serving my punance here in the Frontroom during the Org Truce of the Backroom.

naut
12-26-2007, 12:44
Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris swims though land.

:shame:

Abokasee
12-26-2007, 16:44
On reading the article, only the stupid would be mislead to believe they were true

Gregoshi
12-26-2007, 16:53
I thought the same thing until I read this part of the article:


"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges.

This goes contrary to Chuck's good guy image.

Another case of life imitating "art"? Chuck's Mt Dew commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu1wNxr9Sqg)

seireikhaan
12-26-2007, 19:47
I'm serving my punance here in the Frontroom during the Org Truce of the Backroom.
Ah, is that why the backroom disappeared for me? Was rather curious about that, an announcement in advance would've been nice. For a little while, I thought I'd been banned from it or something.

Philippus Flavius Homovallumus
12-26-2007, 20:42
Chuck Norris never lies. He is the truth. :yes:

Those are the sort of quotes he doesn't like, his response would likely be "No, God is the truth."

Which is similar to his response to the tears-and-cancer one, he directed people to the blood of Jesus.

Anyway, it's one thing to bat this stuff around the internet but publishing a book does seem libel to draw a law suit.:beam:

Gregoshi
12-26-2007, 21:00
...but publishing a book does seem libel to draw a law suit.:beam:
Yep, it was bound to happen.

BTW, good one Philip. :laugh4:

CountArach
12-26-2007, 22:18
Oh God! The Backroom puns have invaded our homes!!!

But nice one guys - especially Philip :tongue:

Vladimir
12-27-2007, 03:43
More lies! :furious3:


When chuck norris roundhouse kicks you, you instantly die. But if the roundhouse kick happens to miss, the wind following the roundhouse kick will rip out your pancreas.

His kick would never miss! He merely finds it entertaining when your internal organs fly from your body.