The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
I always suspected that when you herd the world's fittest young people into a small village, a lot of hardcore humpity action must be going on. Finally an athlete breaks the code of omerta and tells it like it is.
I am often asked if the Olympic village - the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world's top athletes for the duration of the Games - is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. [...]
I spoke to an Aussie table tennis player this week to check out the village vibe and he launched into the breathless patter common to any Olympic debutant: “It is unbelievable in there; everyone is totally crazy once they are out of their competitions. God knows what it is going to be like this weekend. It is like a world within a world.” A British runner (anonymous again: athletes are not supposed to talk to journalists unaccompanied by a PR type, least of all about sex) said: “The swimmers finished earlier in the week and it was like there was an eruption.”
Ah yes, the swimmers. For some reason the International Olympic Committee insists on bunching the swimming events towards the beginning of the Games with the inevitable consequence that the aquatics folk get going earlier - sexually I mean - than everyone else. So much so that, at the outset of the Sydney Olympics, Jonathan Edwards, a Christian and triple jumper extraordinaire, caused a ripple by telling them publicly to keep a lid on it. Edwards was simply concerned about getting woken up by creaking floorboards, but given his biblical credentials, it became a story about morality. Not that his intervention made a blind bit of difference. There is a famous story from Seoul in 1988 that there were so many used condoms on the roof terrace of the British team's residential block the night after the swimming concluded that the British Olympic Association sent out an edict banning outdoor sex. [...]
But let us get back to all the sex going down in the village. One possible explanation centres on the fact that Olympic athletes have to display an unnatural (and, it has to be said, wholly unhealthy) level of self-discipline in the build-up to big competitions. How else is this going to manifest itself than with a volcanic release of pent-up hedonism? It is a common sight to see recently knocked-out athletes gorging on Magnums and McDonald's, swilling alcohol and, of course, shagging like crazy. Sometimes all three at the same time.
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
It's the testosterone that does it. Didn't you hear that at Athens, they got through a hundred something thousand prophylactics? (In Beijing, they ordered 130,000 from the get go... and this is just those the organisers put on (not literally))
Sometimes, I wish I was an athlete.
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/bei...ay_&prov=getty
From what I can read from her lips, yes, yummy and squishy. :yes:
Truelly the world is coming together.:laugh4:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
Somebody Else
It's the testosterone that does it.
In the men and the women...
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
King, wait, strike that... GOD of the one liners has spoken. I bow to your greatness Greg!!! :yes:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
Gregoshi
In the men and the women...
I wonder if the extra testosterone makes new fruits grow. :inquisitive:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gregoshi
In the men and the women...
Testosterone makes people more competetive. Apparently. Something's gotta be giving those girls the extra drive.
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
I got it! The real reason the Chinese authorities threw Gary Glitter out of Hong Kong was because he was too close to the winning gymnasts for comfort. :shame:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
InsaneApache
I got it! The real reason the Chinese authorities threw Gary Glitter out of Hong Kong was because he was too close to the winning gymnasts for comfort. :shame:
:laugh4: Brilliant tie-in IA! I'm in awe. :applause:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
Perhaps these people are mating to create a master race of super athletes?! :drama1:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
damn, it's time i quit smoking and got back to swimming!
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
Who needs Diplomacy when you can have international sex parties?
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
Caius
Who needs Diplomacy when you can have international sex parties?
Reminds me of the Mosley thread in a way.
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
Caius
Who needs Diplomacy when you can have international sex parties?
I would like them to determine our foreign policy. ~D
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
yesdachi
I would like them to determine our foreign policy. ~D
Good idea yes. At least then, both sides would get screwed in the negotiations.
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
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Originally Posted by
Gregoshi
Good idea yes. At least then, both sides would get screwed in the negotiations.
Brilliant. ~:thumb:
Re: The Final Olympic Event: Making Squishy Noises
Everyone wants to be a diplomat:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/spo...cle4609199.ece
!
Quote:
So I’m watching the beach volleyball matches and my wife comes in and asks “Who’s winning?”. I respond, “Who cares about the score?” Wrong answer. Now I’m sleeping in the garage.
:laugh4:
