Most Glorious Victories

We've already had a defeats thread, so now its time for a victories thread.

I'll start this off with my own tale: I was playing as the Sweboz in the 230s, and me and the Aedui had a war going on. I took my "royal" (qualified as royal because it was basically my only army; it was also a very great army that truly represented the variety of units the Germanic peoples can field) and had it march down through the Alps into Insubramrog (Milan province).

I parked it at the edge of the mountain pass into the Alps, hoping to use the topography to my advantage. I was attacked by a stack with 2 FMs in it, which was supported by another stack. Thinking that there was no way I would risk my army in such a massive battle, I retreated. Only to get attacked by a stack from the South. My army had about 35,000 men, give or take a couple thousand. The enemy stack was similar in size, and had 3 VETERAN Cinjetos and Gaesatae. I destroyed it, and had about 30000 men left ( not really sure, 5-8000 lost is what I can remember).

At this point, I was having a grand time lampooning the Aedui for their incompetence, plotting the fate of Mediolanium once it fell into my hands, when the fullstack with the 2 FMs attacked me (RPed as only two days later). This was a proper battle, and in the end I triumphed, although an enemy FM escaped and my numbers were reduced to 18000 (about 10000 lost). I took a deep breath, congratulated myself, and debated calling it a campaign and retreating back into Germanlandum.

Of course, the Aedui weren't about to let me off so easily. The third fullstack (describe in the 2nd big paragraph) attacked me. And it had....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

2 veteran Solduros and a bowel-loosening unit of Gaesatae with silver chevs and silver weapons.

I started to get worried at that point. In retrospect, I still have yet to see a closer or more difficult EB battle. There was immense slaughter. Eventually, it was down to some of my battered units and their Solduros and Gaesatae. The two battles were separated by something like 250 meters. My FM and remaining infantry eventually bested the Gaesatae, although they spent 5 minutes wavering, and delayed me for so long that with each passing second my dread grew. The situation with the Solduros was so desperate that after they had emptied their quivers my Baltic archers were forced to frontally charge them. There was simply no time to encircle them, as mere hundreds remained to combat their 1000+. My FM crushed the Gaesatae, who had, true to form, fought to the last, and attacked the sides of the Solduros with whatever pitiful forces remained.

The last of my forces began to rout. I knew that my FM, great general that he was, would die gloriously in single combat against a worthy opponent. I roared out epithets so shockingly offensive that repeating them within earshot of 99.9% of humans would get me knifed. As I glared at the unit list through eyes blurred with tears, I noticed something. A unit of 700 Speutogardozez, ust standing around. I realized that earlier in the battle they had run off after some slingers. Yes, they had single-handedly destroyed the enemy's impressive missile assets, at a cost of 200 or 300 men. But they were on the other side of the map; would they make it in time?

It is true; I gave in to despair. Even as they ran at top speed towards the battle, my remaining units all routed until a mere handful of Baltic archers and 200 of my general's Companions still fought. And my Speutogardoz were still so far away.

There they were, in the home stretch, poised to strike at the Solduros' rear. The last archer fell. The general was fighting back-to-back with his men. The pikemen sounded the horn as they charged. I simultaneously screamed at the top of my lungs and belted out LOTR music. In the end, only 500 men remained standing on the field, surrounded by tens of thousands of dead.


After all the healing, the survivors amounted to about 6,000 men. If they had sent out the small force that garrisoned Mediolanium, I would have been destroyed for sure. But my men limped back through the Alps unmolested. I had lost 30000 men, but over 70,000 Celts had been slain. According to the faction charts, the Aedui had lost half of their military strength.


FORKING EPIC


Unfortunately, the general was bribed by Rome 2 turns later and I had to assassinate him.

The end.

Your story will make a very good AAR, if you try to stick on that general's viewpoints... you can say at the bribing sequence:

Yester day, the Romans promise me a lot of gold and women... at first I resist... I try to remember my family in germania, and my high king... but today, I hear from my soldiers that the high king secretly sleeps with my wife when I was away... (so, is that he called CARE FOR MY FAMILY?!?):furious3: So I gladly accept the Roman's offer... at least roman girls are cleaner than my stinking wife...:laugh4:

The sudden ending made me laugh.

Epic

Indeed! I'd consider this a reason to start drinking.

Sorry, but everything that I remember about that battle has already been posted.

Doesn't anyone have a story of their own? I know you're out there.

35,000 men?? not in one stack right, is this possible?:dizzy2: How many stacks did you have?

While it is very theoretically possible (that save game editor could do wonders!) I thinkt the OP multiplied each figure by a factor of 10.

Yes, that's what I did. 35,000 men ingame would lead to this: https://i494.photobucket.com/albums/...loding_pcs.gif

I have two best battles one in
EB and one in BI (well actually a series of them in BI that lasted for six hours in one turn)
My EB one was when i was playing as the Grey Death with M/H. I had one general deep into Egypt, i was just doing some RPing raiding with a big army, trying to slip past the front lines and get at Alexandria to stop them producing troops. I got half-way across the Nile Delta before they river blocked me. so i turned my army around for home,figuring that i could try again later. However then a seven star general with a full stack that had among it three units of those Galatians swordsmen and some of those elite phalagitias that they produce ( i forget the name ) cut off my retreat. We met up and i had my spear wallalong the red line to prevent total destruction of my army. I had many Pandotopoi phalanxes and a few of the heavier ones too. The battle strated out i had my general and some merc cavalry that i had hired for the fight (I saw it coming and was like oh crap) charging out on the left flank trying to get around their lines. Somehow the enemy general came out to meet these men ALONE. i was think this will be easy if i can kill him. However he simply WOULD NOT #@$$@$ING DIE!!!!!!!!:furious3::furious3:. Then some of his spear infantry caught up with me, and tore my cavalry to sheards and killed my general as he was fleeing back to my lines. At this point i though it was over. Then the lines met. By some miracle it held. However the enemy generalcame swinging around MY flank to finish me off :furious3:. However as he was attepmting to rout some spearmen, a unit of peltasts stopped right next to the fight behind him. I ordered them to throw at the general. First shot he fell dead. At this point the battle began to swing wildly. both armies broke twice at some point during the battle, however as soon as they got away from the fight they always rallied. I began to use my archers to kill off as many of the enemy as possible. However as soon as any missle unit got close they routed again and again and AGAIN!!!!!!:furious3:
At this point i lost it at my computer and started yelling things that would make the sky fall on my head. However the tide finally turned as the enemy broke en-masse. Oh sure the rallied however they were unable to get back together for i used what remained of my cavalry to great effect, and kept them routing off the field. It took me an hour to fight that battle.

As for the BI one well The year was 402AD or 403AD (somewhere around there) and i was playing as the Huns. This was three years ago so forgive me if my memroy is rusty. I had spent most of the time obliterating Europe for lulz. Then i hit the WRE hard and took over most of it except Spain,(Where many of those Hordes went after i crushed them), britain and North Africa. Anyways i had a single general with a third of a stack of HAs and a heavy cav unit, on rebel patrol along the Rhine. Then i spot the ENTIRE FREAKING HORDE of Roxolani heading for a ford in the Rhine. I immedatley gathered up my general, stipped the region of mercs for the next 20 years and the local garrisons of several towns, (which in the end amounted to a half stack of HAs, Heavy cav and three infantry units), and i hurried to the ford at which i though the horde would cross at. Needless to say i didnt make it. and during one turn the horde attacked me one army at a time (TY GOD for stupid AIs). These were fresh hordes btw not the half stacks of depleteds, that run around after battles. I forgot how i did it but in five battles that took me from 2pm to 8pm i took those Roxolani from a full horde faction to broken remanats of troops that had managed to get away from the Hell-fields. At the start i had 1023 troop (I think) and at the end i had 127. I took on the last horde with 198 troops. At the end i got up and went to eat dinner and got myself a couple of Smirnoffs.:beam:

I just had one of my best-ever battles in over 3 years of RTW in various flavours. I'm playing as Romani, and am coming up to Marian reforms. I'd almost established my Rhine-Danube frontier, and only needed to knock off Satres...

There were 3 3/4 full stacks already hanging around, so I bribed them for a cool 1.5 million, and got almost a full stack of silver chevron Gallic soldiers of various types out of it. My Romani army consisted of 10 silver and gold chevron principes, 4 gold chevron elite allied cavalry, and 2 FMs with about a dozen bodyguards each.

With my Romani stack I besieged the city from the west, and my bribed army beseiged from the south-west. Of course Satres attacks the bribed army, meaning I can only bring my Romans on in dribs and drabs, while fighting of Satres and the 3/4 stack coming out of the town.

So the first thing I do is rush to the north-east corner of the map to try to kill as many guys coming from the town before Satres gets across the map. That turns into a meat grinder battle, as my only cavalry available are the 2 FMs from the reinforcing army. The Gallic troops are holding their own against the town garrison, but I can't get my FMs around behind to cause any trouble. As units die off I'm able to bring in my principes to join in, but I only get 4 onto the field before Satres strikes, leaving my Gallic troops completely enveloped. Needless to say, my FMs legged it out of there!

So as these Gauls get annihilated the rest of my principes enter the field, and I've got a bit of open ground and some height to form a defensive line. At this stage the odds ratio bar says something about needing to be a military genius to win this one, with only a thin sliver in my favour. I'm still unable to get my allied cavalry on yet, as the Gallic troops are routing, and I have to wait for them to leave the field or be chopped down (but of course Satres has no cavalry!).

So Satres turns his attention to my reinforcements, and comes at me with a broad line 2 units deep, aiming to envelop me. My left wing is held by a magical glowing red line, possibly placed there by Mars himself to help his loyal Roman worshippers. Whatever the origin, my troops on the left were grateful! Those on the right weren't feeling too good though...

As Satres engages his right wing with my left and begins swinging his left around my right, my cavalry finally make it onto the field. I take them (with the FMs who have been hiding behind a big tree) on a long loop around Satres' left flank, and then wheel them and charge in waves, 2 units at a time. Charge, retreat, regroup. Charge, retreat, regroup. Each charge takes out 6 or 8 enemy soldiers, with the occassional loss of a horse.

But it's not enough. My principes are surrounded, exhausted, wavering. They feel like Mars has abandoned them. Then my cavalry abandon them too, as I take them to the other side of the map where there is a long slope and finally some decent open ground. So long infantry, it was good while it lasted.

When the principes finally rout Satres is down to around a 3/4 stack. I have my 2 FMs and 4 units of allied cavalry left, each of whom are down to about 40 horses. Luckily 3 are also up to 2 gold chevrons. The odds ratio is still far and away in Satres' favour.

One thing going for me is that his troops are now exhausted too. As he turns to attack my new position my cavalry have time to rest and recover. Soon they're fresh. Then it's on!

Satres advances up the slope like a machine. He has 3 lines, each 6 units wide. I have no chance to circle around his wings, so my only choice is a frontal charge. I divide my units and concentrate on the enemy unit at the front corner of the coming steamroller. Again I charge, retreat and regroup, again, and again. It seems to make no differece. Each time I regroup I find myself a little further up the slope, and Satres keeps coming.

Then, at last I see a crack. I switch my attack to the edges of the second line, and then the third. As my 2 small groups of cavalry move further apart Satres isn't sure which to pursue. Each time he turns towards one I hit him in the rear with the other. Then he decides to split his forces, which is just what I want.

I lead his troops further and further apart, and then my group being followed by the larger part suddenly abandon their attack and circle around to attack the rear of the smaller part. For the first time in the battle an enemy unit routs. True, I had to kill 80 neitos to get the last 2 to rout, but they all count! But Satres doesn't play dominos. Every other unit fights to the end.

At last I finish off the smaller part of the split army. Satres now has 8 units left, and my cavalry are down to 30 horses each. Three of them have 2 gold chevrons, and 1 has 3. My FMs have 6 and 8 bodyguards left. I make a dash through some trees to reach the highest point of the battle map that still has some open ground. There is thick forest to the left and right, and if my cavalry get caught there they'll be slaughtered. Retreat is not an option, so this has to be the last roll of the dice.

I get a short rest until my units are only winded, and then the fun starts again. I decide on an epic frontal cavalry charge. I aim for alternate units on each charge, as the advancing line slows, but does not stop. Then suddenly I see Satres at the fore. He is front and centre, so I throw everything at him. The fighting is fierce, and I'm running out of room. Soon I won't be able to reteat and regroup. There's only 1 thing to do.

I choose 1 unit of cavalry as my sacrificial lamb. They head off on their final suicide mission. As they charge home and become enveloped I feel a bit like Kate Winslet letting Leonardo DiCaprio sink into the icy Atlantic at the end of Titanic (very bad movie, by the way), but there's no time to cry now.

With my remaining units I strike again and again and the frenzied horde attacking my sacrificial lamb like a school of piranhas skeletonizing a cow (wow, metaphors and similes in the same sentence!). Can they hold out long enough?

Satres is now down to a hundred men, and I can smell victory. Suddenly, the final 3 horsemen of the suicide squad do the unthinkable. They've killed Satres! I charge the formless mass of men a final time with every soldier left, and finally the line breaks. My weary horsemen mop up the final routers, and victory is at hand. The town is mine, and Satres is no more.

Every unit that I commanded lost more troops than they killed, with the exception of 2 units of principes and my allied cavalry and FMs. Each of the cavalry units had over 300 kills each, with only the very last few being routers.

That was truly my most glorious victory.

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Originally Posted by Apgad

That was truly my most glorious victory.

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Id have to agree with you here. ANCIENT CAVARLY saves the day?!!??! Wow:2thumbsup::2thumbsup:

:dizzy2:

That's truly amazing! Good one, thanks for sharing.:2thumbsup:

I had a very small army due to many casualties from preceding battles. I was kicking the Karthies out of Iberia when I was ambushed by a full stack of Karthies. They had several FM's involved. They had several thousand men to my 1000 or so depleted polybian infantry. The battle was definately going their way towards the begining. I had inflicted numerous casualties, but there was still to many of them for me to fight. My only hope was that my Spanish allies would show up to the battle. When most of my units had routed except for my FM, Italic allies, and some princepes, my allies arrived buying me much needed time. The enemy disengaged me and attacked the iberians. I then attacked the depleted enemy units from behind and basically caused a chain reaction of routs. The day was ours. I know this probobly isn't the most glorious victory, but it was definately the best battle I have ever had. At the end of the fight I had only around 300-400 men left.

I have no amazing victories on EB unfortunately:shame: but I do have one on vanilla! I was Gaul and the marauding British being a real pain in the a*se They sieged on of my small townse with a full stack of swordsmen, spearmen and a FM in the town I had 4 spearmen and a F.M they attacked the settlement. I decided I couldn't win the battle for the stockade as they had more rams than I had troops! So I put all my troops in the town centre on defensive mode and hid my general behind a nearby building. the enemy struck. their losses to the towers were minimal and soon they were advancing towards the town square, my troops prepared themselves to meet the gods. the enemy reached my lines but the lines held. and held. and held. My men barely moved an inch while the enemy somehow took casualty after casualty to the spear wall. The major problem was the enemies chariot general who was only charging into my units and not staying long enough to ge surrounded and slaughtered so I did the only thing I thought I could do, I charged in my general to attack him, in an epice struggle he eventually wore down and killed the enemy general and so turned to charge the enemy troops who were grinding down my warrior to pathetic numbers. The first charge. One unit routs. Second charge. 3 units rout. Third charge. The rest of the enemy rout and I win the day! I even killed most of the enemy army in the chase-away. This gave me the chance to kick Britain out of Gaul and therefore removing their threat.

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Originally Posted by I of the Storm

Indeed! I'd consider this a reason to start drinking.

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A reason? I'm sorry I do not understand... this sort of thinking is... foreign to me.

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Originally Posted by desert

FUDGING EPIC

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Wow! Wow! Where are the moderators? In all of my totalwar.org forum life, I have never seen a single instance of an uncensored f-word, especially one so blatantly noticeable? To the contrary, I have seen numerous times when the word was edited out by a moderator. Not to mention that one cannot claim that the moderator did not see the word, as size 6 text is hardly inconspicuous.

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Originally Posted by desert

Gaesatae with silver chevs and silver weapons.

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Isn't that impossible? There are no silver weapons in the EB campaign.

stop snitchin
https://i111.photobucket.com/albums/...ems560x414.jpg

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Originally Posted by Celtic_Punk

https://i111.photobucket.com/albums/...ems560x414.jpg

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:laugh4::laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Celtic_Punk

stop snitchin

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Actually, I was more wondering whether we are allowed to say such things, in case I have to use that word :beam:.

EDIT: and what about the silver weapons?

no silver weapons... I was surprised you got that Paulus... recess was such a jokes show


actually you might beable to get it... i think there is a sweboz temple that gives you +1 to light weapons and Missiles or something like that... so if you got teh blacksmith and the temple, boom the only place with silver weapons.

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Originally Posted by Aemilius Paulus

Wow! Wow! Where are the moderators? In all of my totalwar.org forum life, I have never seen a single instance of an uncensored f-word, especially one so blatantly noticeable? To the contrary, I have seen numerous times when the word was edited out by a moderator. Not to mention that one cannot claim that the moderator did not see the word, as size 6 text is hardly inconspicuous.

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In the hosted mod forums, enforcement of the rules is left at the discretion of the mod teams. The forum staff will only step in when things really get out of hand. Hence more swearing is allowed on the EB forum than on the rest of the board. If you were to use the F-word in the common forums, you would have received a warning.

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Originally Posted by Aemilius Paulus

Isn't that impossible? There are no silver weapons in the EB campaign.

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You can't build units with silver upgrades, yes, but they do turn up occasionally on troops spawned in revolting cities.

Fudging? I haven't heard that one since 4th grade.:laugh4: Well, Foot edited it - happy now? And the Gaesatae were from a revolt, because they definitely had silver upgrades.