Missing Pieces of Life...

I awoke this morning rather distraught about the current direction my life has been heading in. I am still attending college, but with this Summer Vacation I'm finding myself having more and more time to myself, and even though the twins have been a hassle; Mrs. Waki seems to have the situation handled well enough for me to have some extra time. Now keep in mind, I DO share my part in raising the little Hooligans, but it is little and not extremely consequential that I be there for every moment. This has left me with just a tad too much time on my hands, and I'm feeling like I'm missing out on some quintessential parts of being myself and at peace with who I am and how life has directed me. I'm split between three different paths at the moment, I could actually go out and find A JOB... but I'm very well off at this time and juncture, and the simplicity in and of itself makes the entire ordeal of being dependable for people I don't know or really much care about entirely exacerbating if the Home front were to cave in and I needed to give a nudge in one direction or another. The other (much more appealing) Directions are to learn a musical instrument on my off time, I understand reading music, and indeed WANT to learn an instrument of some sort or another but at the moment I am completely split between learning the Violin or learning the Tin Whistle (I think the Guitar, Bass, Drums, et al are overdone) so I wanted to learn something that has little appreciation but takes time and a lot of effort to learn. I think this would help me immensely in keeping harmony with my inner self (I had a job offer from the Marine Corps. today that I turned down in lieu of knowing that my arms and legs would have been dismembered from my torso if Ms. Waki would've found out that I even said I was interested in). Basically all I want is to fill the gap I feel I am missing, I'm drinking a wee too much lately, and I want to feel like the walls aren't closing in any one direction, but expanding. If anyone wants to give any ounce of advice I'd like to hear their opinions...

Thanks Gentlemen (and the dedicated Ladies),

Wakizashi,

Louis is going to curse me as middle class again, but I would strongly urge you to find a job.

I inherited my position and fortune and will end up with a lot more once my father gets bored of gin :wink:. I have always known that my destiny is to fill the next vault in the family mausoleum. Somewhere in between that and getting born is who I am.

Money or comfort or title does not define who one is beyond an entry in a book. Those things allow me far more choices in life than most people, and it would be remiss of me not to make the best of those choices.

Your ennui, I beleive, comes from a soul-deep recognition that you need to accomplish something for yourself. Not your wife or the children, but for you. Of course, this will also make you happier and stronger for them as well.

Having money allows you to do what most people can't - at least, not without a lot of struggle - do a job that counts and that you like. You don't have to get paid - you can afford to work for free for a charity or other noble cause. You can do something that really excites you, salary irrelevant, or just be with other people, broadening your horizons.

Without being too sexist, working to provide for one's family is as hard-wired into men as nurturing is for women. It inspires us, drives us, stresses us and probably kills us. But we live, and we have experiences to share. You probably don't think of yourself as unemployed, but that's what you are - unlike your wife who is fully employed as a mother. We're men - we work. :beam:

I have been able to make choices in my work to serve, to lead, to try and change the world and now to indulge my passion. I have always added to the family fortune rather than drawn from it. Its an obscure sense of pride, but a pleasant one.

Get a job, and find passion in what you do. You can learn the tin whistle in your spare time.

Don't spend too much time at home. There's a whole world to discover outside your house.

Get out more often. Don't spend too much time between those four walls.

Get a job, travel (you can take your wife and kids with you), join a sports club, take music lessons, visit some old friends... no matter what, as long as it is something which makes you leave the house for a while, preferably on a regular basis. And try to meet new people.

My learned brother BG speaks the truth and speaks it well. Do something. Anything. Exercise. Move your limbs and your brain. Get a job. Get a hobby. Help the poor. Start a garden. Throw rocks at passing steamships. Something other than nothing.

There will be much time for nothingness once your somethingness comes to its mortal end.

You could do something for others--not for you per se, or your family, or your friends--but for others. Choose to be selfless and useful. My entire life turned around when, down in the dregs of medically diagnosed severe depression, I realized that this was what had gone from my life. Acting on this awareness has brought me back to full stride. I need to be useful to feel alive.

For example, look at what Tosa does here. He doesn't get paid. He's done it for years. He serves all of us who use this board. He is very appreciated by most. Why do we appreciate him? Why does he keep doing it, particularly when he has to deal with childish BS like he often does?

I think a lot of it has to do with understanding what it means "to serve." Life in every breath, in every cup of tea, etc.. Good luck.

What Masamune says, and others. If you do good things for others it is also a noble thing and that is worthy of honour.

Get a job if you can find something constructive, something that makes you feel like you're doing something for society. if you can't find anything paying, do charity work like some people have suggested. You could also try your hand at starting your own business (you seem to have the money for it, just don't pour everything into it) if that's a possibly you'd consider.

I'd advise against picking up a musical instrument actually. I did that on a whim a few years ago and it didn't amount to anything. There's little reason to practise or get better if you're just playing for yourself, if the 'void' is caused by a general sense of uselessness towards society, which, please don't take offense, it sounds like, learning to play music probably isn't going to help. Then again, don't just take my word for it, make up your own mind.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

Money or comfort or title does not define who one is beyond an entry in a book.

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So it's really Sir Banquo's Ghost ? ~D

If you have ready wealth you're sure of which will maintain your family's comfort, then this weird world is full of possibilities.

Hobbies when taken seriously with your admiration for them, may even end up as a source of money and fame. Music is the most general and popular one, however don't constrain yourself on what is already visible around, maybe you may have to come across with your future somewhere out there.

You may be even getting to meet new people over the net, who will somehow open up opportunities of a life unexpected.

Just don't forget that all these three are different from each other: Losing the grasp of everything, letting everything flow and drowning yourself into a mud of plans.

And as Suede used to sing, let everything flow rather than trying to find excuses to fall into despair. You're already aware of your how things are turning out. I doubt you'll ever get musty. :bow:

Thanks for the advice everyone. I had a talk with Ms. Waki after she put the kids to bed, and she said she really didn't have much opposition if I wanted to get a job or whatever, as long as it would make me feel less restless. I mentioned the job offer from the Marine Corps. and that we would have to move to San Diego (the position is actually a Civilian One, So I wouldn't have to attend any Military Training) But I'd get to work with Advanced Weapons Systems (and being a Tinkerer and lover of Complex Systems and Algorithms) I think I would have fun doing it. Plus I'd be fulfilling an important role in saving Soldiers lives on the Battlefield, so I'd be doing a Civil Service as well. Anyways I guess I'll just have to see what happens... :idea2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wakizashi

Thanks for the advice everyone. I had a talk with Ms. Waki after she put the kids to bed, and she said she really didn't have much opposition if I wanted to get a job or whatever, as long as it would make me feel less restless. I mentioned the job offer from the Marine Corps. and that we would have to move to San Diego (the position is actually a Civilian One, So I wouldn't have to attend any Military Training) But I'd get to work with Advanced Weapons Systems (and being a Tinkerer and lover of Complex Systems and Algorithms) I think I would have fun doing it. Plus I'd be fulfilling an important role in saving Soldiers lives on the Battlefield, so I'd be doing a Civil Service as well. Anyways I guess I'll just have to see what happens... :idea2:

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:2thumbsup:

It's amazing how supportive the womenfolk can be. I wish you the very best of luck, and hope things turn out really well.

Wakizashi, I feel much like you at the moment. As I'm sure Ser Clegane will agree, I have far too much time on my hands at the moment. I need fullfilment. Next year I hope for things to improve since I am going to start the IB program at school, which should take up too much of my time for me to be bored. But I find that the following things give me fullfilment:

1. Jobs. Work is what defines a man. It's not the pay, it's the sense of identity you get with the vocation.
2. Meeting and making friends. Friends are great in this life. One of my great problems was (and still is) what Andres identified; getting out of my house. I need to improve greatly in this area, and be proactively trying to get out and do stuff with my friends.
3. God. It's a personal thing for me, but my relationship with God is central to my life.

My eventual dream is to finish my education, be physically fit and get one or two other things out of the way and join the Army as an Officer, serve for a term, maybe more, and then settle down.