'Men, so they say, don't soil themselves. I put it to you then lads, that the enemy are not men!'
Not exactly sure on the term soil, but it fits the bill. My Seleucid general was implying the enemy had gone toilet in their pants. Very funny
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'Men, so they say, don't soil themselves. I put it to you then lads, that the enemy are not men!'
Not exactly sure on the term soil, but it fits the bill. My Seleucid general was implying the enemy had gone toilet in their pants. Very funny
Had a good one from a young governor who was impressed into battle service: "My mother said I should try not to embarrass myself. Well, here goes." Alas, he was killed immediately in the fighting, embarrassing himself in the process.
Roman General (sounding a little scared) vs. Dacia
"I don't like the look of those Dacians. They're really quite intimidating, and you wouldn't believe what they do when they win a battle.
"...send them to their ancestors on a tide of blood!"
"Our enemies will be in hell by nightfall... if I have anything to do with it"
"Truly, this is a day of omens. The roman leader is dead! Let´s slaughter his weakling followers!"
"Those are our enemies, the Britons. Brave? Yes. Foolish? Certainly. Soon to be dead? That, men, is up to you!" - Decimus Julius, 201 BC.
How do you get crazy generals?!?! I need to do something different...Quote:
They are strong with their magic hats, but they had no honey for 2 years because I eat all of thier bees!
My favourite so far was before a fight on a farm area. The enemy started in the long reeds of the corn and my general blurted out:
"the enemy has chosen an appropriate site for the battle - they wont have to manure this field for months!"
along those lines. I laughed when I realised where they stood.
-Some claim that I do not have the skill to ambush a dead fish. This is a fine joke and obvious nonsense. I smile whenever I hear it. And your actions today will put pay to that old lie.
I found that one in the sound folder though. I did not get any crazy generals when I played the romans. ~:handball:
It seems that BI has added new speeches and removed some old pre-battle speaches. I came across theese when I played RTW 1.3 recently:
"Thoose people have never met us on a field of battle. After today they will flee at the sound of our approach"
"Thoose fools have never met me in a battle before. I hope to give them a nasty surprise"
Have you guys come across any new ones in 1.3 or BI?
I had a Roman general who was a poor attacker and not a confident speaker. He ummed and ahhed during his speech, forgot his lines and didn't finish what he was saying. At one point he said "Now I'm sure there was something else..." Thats how I remember it anyway.
I had stopped listening to the pre-battle speeches but I'm going to start again.
I heard that in RTW 1.2 too. First then I realised that speeches could be funny. I wrote more of it in "Cool pre-battle speaches" wich is unfortunately way down in the archives.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melmoth the Wanderer
.Quote:
Originally Posted by Viking
My ever favourite line: "Today, we're going to fight monsters. The Gauls! They're mad, dangerous and hairy beyond reason!"
~:joker:
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Someone mentioned it before, but if you ever get a general with the virtue "Hootie" make him your battle commander. There's two or three versions of the line he says about the owls but they are hilarious.
:trytofly:
The original game is still giving me new speaches. This time my general had the "Orator" title which gives him an additional 3 stars.
"Understand this: This battleground is where we stand. We might die if necessary but it will be where we´ll win!"
Glad you're all enjoying the speeches. I currently have the 'moon people' speech as my mobile phone ringtone, which is nice, but gets me funny looks in public places.
The system is set up to generate a couple of million variants from 'chunks' that refer to different elements of the upcoming battle. As you might expect, a degree of restraint was required when doing some of the comedic elements that were allowed to creep in.
I'll have to put on my lovely hat to shield me from the fearsome gaze of management next time round. ~D
They were certainly a neat addition. Any speeches or lines you'd be willing to share that didn't make it in due to glares from above? ~:)
I like this speech very much for its extreme pragmatism ;) It´s from the Romans I think:
Let us offer our prayers to the gods for victory!
And then let us arm ourselves to the teeth, just in case the gods ain´t listening.
The barbarian version of that goes something like:
Now is a time to offer prayers to the Gods
But an even better time to sharpen our swords, just in case the gods aren't listening.
Heh. I got that in my Julii campaign. Its brilliant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouzafphaerre
Now, that`s geeky.~DQuote:
Originally Posted by Captain Fishpants
I`m hoping speeches are back, more varied(and entertaining) than ever in the next TW game. ~:cheers:
Playing the Romans are the only worthwhile when it comes to speeches since it´s do diverced and give you that feeling that you´re a roman. It´s a pity the same effort didn´t go into the other factions and I hope you´ll be treating all factions with the same respect in future releases. Thx for a great game Fishpants.Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Fishpants
Having a speech ringtone may be geeky, but I'm allowed because I wrote them. ~:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Viking
We'll see if speeches are appropriate for the next TW title before I go around promising anything.
Darn, CF, needless to say that I'm deeply jealous of you!
Hell yeah, this one is sweet! Always makes me laugh.Quote:
"Today, we're going to fight monsters. The Gauls! They're mad, dangerous and hairy beyond reason!"
Heres a roman one i like
"Theres enof wine in camp to float a boat, oh, and the camp women will be equally apprecitive"
Very classy touches to RTW:
Speeches, V & V
I really enjoy these! If you read some history or historical fiction you'll find these actually occurred a lot!
Arguably, that`s true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Fishpants
I just got one that was hilarious as the bruttii with one of my bribed Seclucid Generals
"And remember this, we have sharper and pointier things then they"
something like that funny as hell
.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rilder
Got it twice in a row in my Romano-British campaign today. ~:)
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Roman captain before engaging a Spanish besieging force:
"There´s little to fear here today. See.... no need to fear them!
I just love the short and to the point speaches captains make.
in one of my greek campaigns i heard this after i killed a roman leader
"Gods Be praised the roman leader is dead, the soaring eagle turns into a clucking hen"