never, ever, EVER-

-wash steak knives while drunk.
earlier today i was suffering from a massive hangover, which is gone for the most part(enough for me to post correctly). for fun, we mixed BBQ sauce and alcohol to put on our steaks for dinner on Purim, in addition to downing countless beers and such.
i was drunk, and i decided to do the dishes. which also had steak knives in them.
thus, i made a HUGE gash across my right thumb. wasnt large enough for stitches, but i put some of that medical glue on it, so its healing. but then again, by right hand right now is useless because whenever i put pressure on my right hand my thumb really hurts. and that sux b/c im a righty.
so i repeat, do not do dishes while you are drunk.

oh, and btw, those hangover-reducing meals other products dont work. at least not for me. :whip:

lol, I'll lump that into the same category with "Never, ever, ever iron your clothes while they are on your body!". ~;)

Hangovers are best taken lieing down somewhere preferably quiet thinking about the terrible mistake you made the night before... which you will never repeat again!

that is until next time....

You should've done something responsible, like drive or call ex-girlfriends

Never try to juggle carrots and a chef's knife. Drunk, or sober.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

never, ever, EVER--wash steak knives while drunk.

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I don't think that requires an explanatory story. :laugh4:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LittleGrizzly

Hangovers are best taken lieing down somewhere preferably quiet thinking about the terrible mistake you made the night before... which you will never repeat again! with Gatorade and water.

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Li'l advice for you, Hooah. It's the basic science of dehydration; water+salts always does the trick, even for the worst hangovers (for me, that would be cheap jugwine, which gave me a hangover so bad I couldn't see straight.)

Maybe you shouldn't be drinking underage.
~;p



:beatnik:

...He's underage?

Ooh...

:hide:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

...He's underage?

Ooh...

:hide:

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well, by law i am allowed to drink for religious purposes...
Purim is a religious holiday, so...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

...He's underage?

Ooh...

:hide:

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So am I:inquisitive:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

So am I:inquisitive:

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SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Edit: wait, who's gonna arrest you? Damn, never mind.

I'll add some advice to this thread... never try to make a homemade bo... I mean water bottle... while hi.... I mean "sleepy" with a sharp knife. That never turns out well. :oops:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

I don't think that requires an explanatory story. :laugh4:

Li'l advice for you, Hooah. It's the basic science of dehydration; water+salts always does the trick, even for the worst hangovers (for me, that would be cheap jugwine, which gave me a hangover so bad I couldn't see straight.)

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This is the truth. Gatorade and water, and lots of it, until you feel better.

CR

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

So am I:inquisitive:

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Not over here you arent. :tongue:

Yay booze. Except I dont drink it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kush

I'll add some advice to this thread... never try to make a homemade bo... I mean water bottle... while hi.... I mean "sleepy" with a sharp knife. That never turns out well. :oops:

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basically, dont use knives while drunk. :smash:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

This is the truth. Gatorade and water, and lots of it, until you feel better.

CR

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does powerade work? gatorade isnt kosher. :sweatdrop:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

for fun, we mixed BBQ sauce and alcohol to put on our steaks for dinner on Purim, in addition to downing countless beers and such.

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You know, you should really try Jack Daniels BBQ sauce. You should be able to buy it, although I've only ever seen it in a store once (:book:), but then again you could always make it yourself. It's delicious.

:balloon2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

does powerade work? gatorade isnt kosher. :sweatdrop:

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It isn't? Tadpoles, that means that I have been bad. :P

no, its not.
and i guess you have been bad. :smash:
but it is comforting to know that im not the only jewish person on these forums, though i think the only religious one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

no, its not.
and i guess you have been bad. :smash:
but it is comforting to know that im not the only jewish person on these forums, though i think the only religious one.

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lol, I will not talk about that here, but why isn't it?

absolutely no idea why, but apparently there are a few ingredients made from non-kosher animals.
but gatorade in israel is kosher!
its quite good!

"Kosher" was just invented 4,000 years ago or so to make sure people didn't get food poisoning or trichinella or crap like that. It had to do with the fact that people weren't smart enough to be able to cook food properly so the authorities ended up calling some animals "unclean."

So basically, Kosher is a bunch of crap, and none of my Jewish family, who are fairly religious otherwise, bothers to follow it. They just cook their food properly.

Now go eat some pork and drink a Gatorade on the side.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

"Kosher" was just invented 4,000 years ago or so to make sure people didn't get food poisoning or trichinella or crap like that. It had to do with the fact that people weren't smart enough to be able to cook food properly so the authorities ended up calling some animals "unclean."

So basically, Kosher is a bunch of crap, and none of my Jewish family, who are fairly religious otherwise, bothers to follow it. They just cook their food properly.

Now go eat some pork and drink a Gatorade on the side.

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well before you start insulting my religion id suggest you read up on kosher a wee bit more.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

well before you start insulting my religion id suggest you read up on kosher a wee bit more.

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I'm not insulting your religion... my mother's Jewish, and I am by blood, if not in practice. I would never in hell insult Judaism. I just think that following an incredibly archaic diet is a bit silly. And yeah, it's not all related to diet (I get not drinking milk with beef, because that's just plain rude) but I'm absolutely certain that not eating animals like pigs has to do with uncertain cooking capabilities (in addition to rural ignorance.)

Of course, if you can find Kosher Gatorade this is all moot. As for Powerade... I don't have a clue if it works as well, not to mention if it's Kosher.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reverend Joe

I'm not insulting your religion... my mother's Jewish, and I am by blood, if not in practice. I would never in hell insult Judaism. I just think that following an incredibly archaic diet is a bit silly. And yeah, it's not all related to diet (I get not drinking milk with beef, because that's just plain rude) but I'm absolutely certain that not eating animals like pigs has to do with uncertain cooking capabilities (in addition to rural ignorance.)

Of course, if you can find Kosher Gatorade this is all moot. As for Powerade... I don't have a clue if it works as well, not to mention if it's Kosher.

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its called faith for a reason.

To add to the steak knife stories, my Grandfather is going in for surgery today because he tried to pry a broken cork out of a bottle of wine with a knife.

I almost laughed when my mum told me. Am I going to hell for that?

Always be careful when opening a bottle of champaigne. You can get quite nasty cuts or... (I'm not going to tell you about the stopper; it is well described in the jokes). :stars:

Arach, don't worry. There are far more sure ways to visit the hell... :tongue: (I hope this does not sound very blasphemous ~:crosses himself:~ )

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hooahguy

its called faith for a reason.

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So does that mean you get the kosher MREs? Those things kick butt, way better than cheese omelets

well i dont get MREs in general. but im sure i would get them if i needed them.

seriously, its like a Patio 99-cent tv dinner vs a a real mexican restraunt. Make sure your chain knows in advance you need kosher, though, and they are required to make the dinners available to you. They just have to kind of go out of their way to get them, and there are random kosher items in the regular MREs, so most leadership doesn't bother to have any in reserve. But if you tell them, they have to do it.

but why would i want an MRE when i can have a steak drenched with booze? :beam:

ah, i thought u were in the military, and if u are i'm talking about situations when you are fielded, garrisoned or deployed.

Just like me. A plate broke in the microwave while I was making a preztel. I still ate some of it, but not all of it, and my stomach is killing me. I think a got glass inside of me, but no one believes me.


:hanged:



A list of stupid things could be compiled here about all the things we have done over the years,eh? :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by ||GoTW||Warman8|cpl||-II-||

Just like me. A plate broke in the microwave while I was making a preztel. I still ate some of it, but not all of it, and my stomach is killing me. I think a got glass inside of me, but no one believes me.

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:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

Hehehe, this is the most hilarious thing I have read this week. Sorry, I know it must hurt, but this is downright slapstick Tom & Jerry type humour.

Yes, I agree, we should definitely post and sticky a thread filled with the stupidest things we have ever done. And someone should do it. ASAP. I say, SFTS would be a good person to start this, as he is a man of authority here.

Here's another survival tip for you....don't fry bacon without putting on a shirt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito

Here's another survival tip for you....don't fry bacon without putting on a shirt.

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Yup, made that mistake myself in the past.

I know a guy who tried to make some hash browns when he was black out drunk. So he took out the package and put the contents on the stove-directly on top of the burners :clown:

Me, I tend to avoid such things. *

CR
*so far

smy uncle accidentaly cracked an egg over a stove without the pan. didnt go over too well with my aunt and now she always makes the eggs.
he wasnt drunk either.