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You will all be happy to know, that I will stay right here in the org posting, not moving from my chair.
-ACIN
P.S. I am think of opening an advice thread, but I just don't know if I should fully commit the majority of my life to the org, my xbox might get jealous....
Who are you again?
He used to be called Mike Hunt. As good a name as any, I believe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
@ACIN: Glad to have ya with us, bro.
Rex's son? I didn't think anyone would have head of him outside australia.:inquisitive:Quote:
Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah
I have a question. If your previous name itches, should I put some kind of Gold Bond medicated powder on it? I've been scratching your previous name for days, and the itch just doesn't go away.
PS- the operation was expensive.
How does a name itch?
Well, if it's your previous name, then when I drop my britches and scratch it with my fingernails, and the itch doesn't go away, and I still have a rash all over your previous name, especially after all that money I spend buying myself one, then I simply have an itch all over your previous name and I can't explain how I got it. Probably from sitting in that honey spill covered in fire ants.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Hold on, if this is an ant problem, then you kill it (them) with fire.
Ok let me try that.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Be right back.
I'll be here, as I described in my OP.
Ok, I have poured gasoline all over it. But I can't get this lighter to work. If I hold it right next to the gasoline, I assume the sparks will kill the fire ants safely, without causing me harm?
Without waiting for your reply, I will make my first attempt. I'll let you know how it turns out.
K, you are being proactive in finding a solution by the way, I am impressed.
no need for that, this has already turned into an advice thread :2thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Oooo, does that mean I can give half statements that seem like advice but actually doesn't contribute anything in regards to the person's problem?Quote:
Originally Posted by miotas
EDIT: I have now changed my signature, because every advice person needs a small and totally uninformative biography about him/her.
So long as they sound helpful and inspired but actually confer no benifit whatsoever then go for it my inoffensive friend:2thumbsup:
Thanks! I think I will give it a try right now:Quote:
Originally Posted by miotas
Do whatever you feel is right, unless what you feel is right is actually wrong.
How would I go about getting a reference of myself in your sig? :thinking:
Try to set goals for yourself, then work towards achieving those goals, unless you have better goals to be working towards.Quote:
Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah
It didn't work!!! I tried to kill the fire ants but... but... bad things happened. Ok first of all, something totally not cool happened. The spark accidentally set the gasoline on fire, and then, your previous name started belching big balls of fire! Well, more like queefing big balls. Anyway, the toilet I was sitting on, when I was pouring the gasoline, also filled with gasoline somehow. And then the toilet exploded, and the scalding hot water and gasoline went someplace very bad, and I hopped toward the phone and I dialed 411 and asked for the number to 911, and they tried to charge me for the connection and I said hells no I am not going to pay for that so I hung up the phone and got into my car, still on fire and your previous name was fused completely shut, and it was very painful but somehow I managed to drive halfway to the hospital but I had to stop to get some gas, while I was still on fire and now my shirt was on fire and I didn't know what to do so I paid at the pump and tried to douse the flame with the hose thingy, and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT It was gasoline and I set my whole self on fire and then the hose exploded, as well as the gas tanks and half a city block, and it blew me up into the air and I landed on my house and crashed through the ceiling and now I'm sitting at my desk again and I don't know what to do to put out these flames please please please please help me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy
When life hands you lemons, make some sort of lemon based drink.
Alcohol. The higher proof the better, perfect for putting out any pesky flames you might have lying around.:yes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy
Kay I tried to pour lemonade on it and GUESS what it stings like heck and it's not putting out the flames and now it burns and it stings and it itches so I have three owwies.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Patience is a virtue, unless it is a situation that needs to be taken care of fast.
No No No,
ACIN, you're advice is too helpful. You're terrible at this.:thumbsdown:
Gosh darn it, I really thought I had the hang of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by miotas
Okay I'll wait if you think that's best but seriously it's starting to become a drag man, I'm losing a lot of skin tissue permanently here and I'm pretty sure my intestines are burnt closed and my liver is damaged, and not just from all the alcohol I've been drinking and dousing myself with to combat the flames, I'm an alcoholic.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Wow. I feel better admitting that. I'm all better now kthnxbai :2thumbsup:
I recommend you to all my friends. Your advice is teh uber curez. I now can admit that I am an alcoholic, and that is the first step towards overcoming my addiction.
Now if I could just put out this fire, I'd be all set. But you have to pick your battles.
As god once said to bender in the Futurama episode 'Godfellas'Quote:
Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy
"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
Don't worry about those flames mate, they are you're friends, embrace the love, don't they just feel so warm :beam:Quote:
Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy
I am starting to feel light-headed, and it's not as painful anymore, and my body has gone numb from the love. Does this mean it is almost over?Quote:
Originally Posted by miotas
What the H E double hockey sticks? I thought this was still my advice thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy
I'm sorry, :embarassed: I will go and douse my head in some love to calm down. :daisy:Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
ACIN, Askthepizzaguy, who knew I was innocent in a mafia game, nonetheless betrayed me and asked people to vote for my lynching.
What should I do?
I remember the words of a wise man...
"Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?" -KAAAAAAAAHN
He would later die a horrible death at the hands of Captain James T. Kirk.
Looks like I will have to sign off for the time being. But don't worry, hopefully by the time I wake up, the mods will not have shut this down and/or someone will not have hijacked this advice thread of mine. Hope that fire problem works out for the best Pizzaguy!
-ACIN
Don't worry, I poured all my lighter fluid and my bottles of whiskey on it, and rolled around in some dry leaves and kindling, and amazingly, the fire is starting to go out, because I've been completely incincerated.
Problem solved!
:trytofly:
Wait a second!
*gasp!*
*kahhhh!*
Carry on!
you may want to edit out the run-together version, as it could be perceived as vulgarity.
The name Mike, etc... was removed and replaced. And that might have been borderline; but the run-together version is probably... definitely... probably not allowed.
lol Innuendo good. Explicit bad.
It can't possibly be as perverted as the 3-word-story a while back. I can't believe the mods allowed it to run for the amazingly long time it did run for. Perhaps they enjoyed it?? :uhoh:
I am going to find that thread, and enjoy it.
Spam thread is spam...
:nospam:
We are not spamming, we are awaiting the return of our true prophetic advisor, ACIN, bless his name and soul.
That thread was absolutely perverted by the way, and also the one that Warman8 made.. my god..
Can I have a link to the threads in question?
Ah, you enjoyed them, I see. Well, I can't judge you. But HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COMRADE!!!! :birthday2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
i prefer lemon-meringue pieQuote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Oh my, it's hooahguy... and his offensive signature line! Oh noes!
Runz away screaming politicial incorrectness!
:clown:
Hides from the flags
:shrug:
I am kidding of course.Quote:
Originally Posted by hooahguy
I am back, and open to more questions for this advice thread!
Recently there was a scandal in the watchtower about SorBlade12 and desert.
Should I join the lynch mob?
Also, Tribesman is attacking Warman8 because he believes Warman8 is an immature game-addict as the result of home-schooling.
I was interested in the outcome of the argument, but the thread was closed.
What should I do?
Bust a move.
Pick every recent thread that got closed, and raise them in a thread that has already been accused of being spam and so the mods probably have their eyes on it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
You are trying to get this wonderful thread closed, begone traitor!
You mean, someone else could be reading this?
And they might want to close it?
ACIN - what should we do?
I have yet to hear how my previous advice has worked out. I must know this information before I can proceed with additional advice.
I have no idea what's going on in this thread whatsoever. All I've picked up is something about fire ants, futurama, lemons and a flag..
You people are crazy..
This thread is now about exotic spices.Quote:
Originally Posted by tibilicus
?gniloohcs-emoh tuoba woH
.morf tifeneb lla nac ew hcihw noissucsid a etaerc ot tpmetta dluohs ew kniht I yllufhturT
well if it helps, i followed your advice on the lemon based drink.
I squeezed the juice of 4 fresh lemons into a glass and skulled it right down.
That was 6 hours ago and my lips are still squeezed shut so tight that I can't speak, and my eyes are watering so badly I can hardly see the screen to type. Good thing I have you guys to talk to, what should I do ACIN? :help:
*edit*
maybe i should try some of fixiwee's exotic spices?
Mix equal parts of a pound of Saffron, Pure Vanilla and Cardamom and try that.
Hypocrite! :clown:Quote:
Originally Posted by tibilicus
I busted a move and broke my left leg in six places.
Next question.
If I do not eat enough McHappy Meals and drink enough coke, will my homeland be invaded in defence of Freedom?
You are doing it wrong, you snort coke not drink it.
Mike, dude, I just gotta say... you're awesome.
Edit: also, I think someone's on the phone for you.
Irritating internet meme is irritating.Quote:
Originally Posted by CountArach
This is true, and who do you think wrote that joke in that movie?Quote:
Originally Posted by Reverend Joe
Mike! Mike!
What do I do if I'm feeling not-so-fresh down there?
Billy Mays has the solution:
http://tinyurl.com/cejaeh
Ok so I used the orange glo to shine my wood, and now it has a delightful fragrance. You can see your reflection in it, and it shines so brightly, you can even see it through most fabrics. I've used on the all the hardwood surfaces that I own, and now it has a smooth and silky feel that you can run your hands all over. I won't say that it's entirely streak-free though, because when I am streaking, that's when you can really see the difference.
Removing all that dirt and grime makes the entire area seem much brighter, happier, it even plays tricks with your eyes and makes it look bigger. The reflection gives a small, cramped area the illusion of space. Now it looks enormous. The oranges are quite lovely, they are the perfect dangling fruit to take a strong whiff of in order to brighten your day. The smell of these oranges will make your mouth water, and you may want to find the nearest pair and put them in your mouth. I know they have a rough, bumpy texture but they are just filled with juicy goodness.
Glad to see everything worked out.
Yes, it's working just fine! My girlfriend is quite satisfied with the results, and when we invite our friends over, they always comment about how warm and inviting area looks, and they just can't keep their hands off of the smooth shiny surface. I sometimes offer to give them a demonstration, and they like to watch. So, Mike, do you have any advice about how to find and hold down a job? You see, my current "job" kind of blows, so I'd love to find a different kind of job. Preferably one that doesn't *bleep* so hard. I've been hunting for jobs for months now, and there's only one kind of job that I'd really, really like. But it's hard, so very, very hard. You can never find a good job, and if you do, it never lasts long enough. It really sucks the big one.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
So, if you can point me in the right direction, I'd be very very happy to find the perfect job.
Well you say there is a job you like but its very hard, I am inclined to tell you that if you love your job, it does not matter how hard it is, you will feel satisfied doing it. If you really are too lazy to do it though, theres always a shortage of male prostitutes; job security and greater pay then an average prostitute all in one due to the shortage factor.
ATPG, you really like Hunt don't you?
Mike Hunt, what is my favourite colour?
What is this word "colour"? I can only assume you are asking what your favorite food is, to which I would say bacon, because no one could possibly love any other food more then bacon.
Judging from his description, that is his current job.Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
Dear Mikehunt,
Recently Aemilius Paulus posted a message on my profile page saying that I was the most handsome orgah and I did look like my avatar.
Megas Methuselah suspects for this reason that he might be one of those.
So does Lz3.
I was wondering, seeing as A.P. looks so good in an antique helmet, if I should embrace his affectations, or if I should scorn him like MM and Lz3.
Or are they simply trying to get me all excited about nothing?
T.I.A.M.F.
Glenn.
I'm bookmarking this thread...
If that's the case, then you might as well join a game of mafia. Just follow the link in my sig and be part of the 10 year anniversary mafia game!Quote:
Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name
If by those you mean a robot, then yes I have long suspected AP of being one as well. From his profile I have yet to determine what version he may be or if he has the power to time travel....yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
Don't be fooled, the robots are trying to infiltrate every corner of human society and government, even our relationships. Here is an instructional video on how to handle human-robot relationships:
http://tinyurl.com/6gjbe5
Grar ~:pissed: you're trying to drive me crazy aren't you? Damn those tinyurl!
What do I do?!?!?
ACIN, please help me, I need some advice! :help:
ACIN: How does it feel knowing you will always fall short of my greatness?