A Sign of the End Times, Part Deux

KFC's double-down sandwich is a sure sign that the apocalypse, rapture, and return of the elder gods are all coming. Fast. In his tomb at R'lyeh great Cthulhu dreams, and the KFC double-down is integral to said Cthonic dreams.

Behold, sinners! The KFC double-down! For when the inclusion of a white-bread bun is too healthy for you!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ouble-down.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...oubledown2.jpg

Somebody caught SNL last night... :grin3:

At least it will be a delicious apocalypse.

CR

Atkins Burger?

I'm sorry, am I ACTUALLY looking at a "sandwitch" which has replaced bread with fried chicken?

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Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

I'm sorry, am I ACTUALLY looking at a "sandwitch" which has replaced bread with fried chicken?

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Yes, gotta watch them carbs. Only 32 fat grams too. How many do you think Strike could eat in an hour?

I was planning on eating two tomorrow. Told my friends I was going to "double down on my double downs".

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Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger

Somebody caught SNL last night... :grin3:

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Mm, actually I haven't watche SNL in over a decade. Linky, perhaps? Am I riffing on a theme they hit?

:end:

yet one more reason im glad i keep kosher.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Mm, actually I haven't watche SNL in over a decade. Linky, perhaps? Am I riffing on a theme they hit?

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You haven't missed much over the last decade....

This sandwhich-thing was in Weekend Update.

Lemur, don't the rules say you have to put things that repulsive in spoiler tags? :inquisitive:

All I can think of saying is: Yuck.

Needs more bacon. 2 strips of bacon and 2 slices of cheese do not make for the inside of a sandwich. :no:

I wonder if it will be sold in the UK... I'd definitely try it.

As Beskar can attest to, I have a real appetite for KFC; on one occasion, I ate a £12.99 Family Feast (eight pieces of chicken, four fries, two sides) to myself and still had room for dessert. The best part was that I didn't gain any weight from it, haha. Almost as bad as when I ate three foot-long Meatball Marinaras back in university... in the space of about an hour.

Good eating! :D

Heck I want it, I want it!!!! But as far as healthiness is considered, it was best to kill murder cut your own chicken, burn them on the pyre, and eat them whole when it was still hot!

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Originally Posted by Secura

I wonder if it will be sold in the UK... I'd definitely try it.

As Beskar can attest to, I have a real appetite for KFC; on one occasion, I ate a £12.99 Family Feast (eight pieces of chicken, four fries, two sides) to myself and still had room for dessert. The best part was that I didn't gain any weight from it, haha. Almost as bad as when I ate three foot-long Meatball Marinaras back in university... in the space of about an hour.

Good eating! :D

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Amatuer hour at the apolo :brood:

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Originally Posted by Secura

I wonder if it will be sold in the UK... I'd definitely try it.

As Beskar can attest to, I have a real appetite for KFC; on one occasion, I ate a £12.99 Family Feast (eight pieces of chicken, four fries, two sides) to myself and still had room for dessert. The best part was that I didn't gain any weight from it, haha. Almost as bad as when I ate three foot-long Meatball Marinaras back in university... in the space of about an hour.

Good eating! :D

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The funny thing is, you don't realise what everyones imagination of you looks like now. :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

Amatuer hour at the apolo :brood:

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What's that mean?

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Originally Posted by Beskar

The funny thing is, you don't realise what everyones imagination of you looks like now. :laugh4:

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Haha, I do realise, but at least you and I both know the truth; I just have crazy metabolism.

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Originally Posted by Secura

What's that mean?
.

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https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showt...n&daysprune=-1

Required reading,

As for the Sammich, I can't have one. I'm cutting weight so it'll be a few months :/

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Originally Posted by Secura

What's that mean?
Haha, I do realise, but at least you and I both know the truth; I just have crazy metabolism.

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Hmm..... 180 cm tall, 100 kg :clown:

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

Required reading

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Good Lord, I'd die even trying to eat even half of any item on that list.

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

Hmm..... 180 cm tall, 100 kg :clown:

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You're saying that I'm 5ft11 and weigh almost sixteen stone? Crikey... that's way off the mark!

that is the gayest cataphractos ive ever seen.

Seen it in the newspaper over here, had a good laugh and stuffed my face with French Belgian fries and cake and guzzled it all down with some of the best beers in the world.

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Originally Posted by Peasant Phill

Seen it in the newspaper over here, had a good laugh and stuffed my face with French Belgian fries and cake and guzzled it all down with some of the best beers in the world.

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Why did you have to import British ales specifically for this? I know they'd be lower quality, but couldn't you have washed it down with some local beer?

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showt...n&daysprune=-1

Required reading,

As for the Sammich, I can't have one. I'm cutting weight so it'll be a few months :/

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Like that old Lays Potato Chip slogan, "betcha can't eat just one". I'm guessing you can snarf at least 6 of them in half an hour.

The whole thing should be dipped in beer-batter, deep fried and heavily salted. Then I would probably eat it. Otherwise, I'd probably just get a white buffalo pizza. (blue cheese dressing sauce and buffalo chicken topping). Well worth the coronary.

Heh. Following Lemur's link, I watched the TV ads. Whether English version or Spanish, the the actors are all skinny men - not one over 200 lbs. - unlike most of the customers I see entering or leaving my local KFC.

But hey, without bread, maybe they could tout it as as dietarily-correct.

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Originally Posted by KukriKhan

I watched the TV ads.

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I hadn't noticed until now that there is a "KFC media player." Now I know the planet is doomed.

Looks like the Colonel's latest creation is too much for the Canucks.

“It is not going to be launched in Canada,” said a spokesman here. “KFC Canada is a very separate company” with the philosophy of “let them test it first and see how it is doing.”

For months, part of the speculation online and elsewhere was that the Double Down was a hoax. Indeed, food industry consultant Darren Tristano was called on Monday to explain what KFC was thinking by creating a sandwich with practically a full day’s dose of sodium in one serving.

“They’re targeting working-class consumers that have less discretionary income. It’s about quantity. Whether we like it or not, this product will appeal to a signficant portion of the consumer base,” he told salon.com.

“It appears to be achieving the goal, which is to get people interested. Freak shows are disgusting but everyone seems to want to go to them anyway. I’m probably going to try one.”

Calling it a “legendary sandwich,” KFC vice president of marketing Javier Benito explained the advance publicity blitz by saying, “We want fans to have time to arrange their scheduled in advance.”

P.S.:

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

Lemur, don't the rules say you have to put things that repulsive in spoiler tags? :inquisitive:

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Until now we've had no rules for "explicit food," but that may have to change.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Until now we've had no rules for "explicit food," but that may have to change.

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I think you are okay. The product description does not specifically mention the meat being breasts or thighs...if it was the latter, that second picture might be considered very, very naughty. :eyebrows:

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Originally Posted by Gregoshi

I think you are okay. The product description does not specifically mention the meat being breasts or thighs...if it was the latter, that second picture might be considered very, very naughty. :eyebrows:

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OH FOR THE LOVE OF. DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT

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Originally Posted by Lemur

I hadn't noticed until now that there is a "KFC media player." Now I know the planet is doomed.

Looks like the Colonel's latest creation is too much for the Canucks.

“It is not going to be launched in Canada,” said a spokesman here. “KFC Canada is a very separate company” with the philosophy of “let them test it first and see how it is doing.”

For months, part of the speculation online and elsewhere was that the Double Down was a hoax. Indeed, food industry consultant Darren Tristano was called on Monday to explain what KFC was thinking by creating a sandwich with practically a full day’s dose of sodium in one serving.

“They’re targeting working-class consumers that have less discretionary income. It’s about quantity. Whether we like it or not, this product will appeal to a signficant portion of the consumer base,” he told salon.com.

“It appears to be achieving the goal, which is to get people interested. Freak shows are disgusting but everyone seems to want to go to them anyway. I’m probably going to try one.”

Calling it a “legendary sandwich,” KFC vice president of marketing Javier Benito explained the advance publicity blitz by saying, “We want fans to have time to arrange their scheduled in advance.”

P.S.:


Until now we've had no rules for "explicit food," but that may have to change.

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That's richly ironic coming from the Land of Poutine. Can I have a diet coke with that?

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Indeed, food industry consultant Darren Tristano was called on Monday to explain what KFC was thinking by creating a sandwich with practically a full day’s dose of sodium in one serving.

“They’re targeting working-class consumers that have less discretionary income. It’s about quantity. Whether we like it or not, this product will appeal to a signficant portion of the consumer base,” he told salon.com.

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haha, who is this guy? "Whether we like it or not..."


I doubt that this thing is much more unhealthy than many other fast food items.

Is it wrong that I think the grilled chicken variant looks kind of yummy?

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Originally Posted by tibilicus

Is it wrong that I think the grilled chicken variant looks kind of yummy?

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Any meat product that uses its having no bones as a cause for celebration is best avoided. You know it makes sense. :wink:

Good god! You mean that thing is real??! I'd thought it was a late April Fool's joke. ~:eek:


I can't decide if I'm more horrified or intrigued....

It looks like something someone would come up with in a school cafeteria, except it probably tastes better.

A detailed firsthand account of the devil's sandwich, the doubledown:

Yes, that's right. I put my cardiac health on the line today. I drove to the KFC on Harbor Boulevard in Garden Grove, steeled my nerves, crossed myself, walked in and ordered a Double Down. Let no one say I never take one for the team.

On the surface, it doesn't sound so bad. It's really a chicken club without the bun, except that it's also devoid of anything resembling a vegetable. Even iceberg lettuce has been banished from the Double Down.

It took eight minutes to get my sandwich; unlike pretty much everything else at KFC, the breaded chicken breasts are fried to order for the Double Down. They lovingly smear "Colonel's sauce" on the breasts, then layer on Monterey Jack and pepper Jack cheeses and two pieces of bacon (also, from the smell emanating from the back, freshly cooked). The two breasts are clapped together, wrapped in paper, put in a box and rushed to you.

The first thing you notice is how greasy it is. It soaked completely through the wax paper in which it was wrapped; six double-folded napkins later, it was still greasy enough to cause me to get grease on the touchscreen of my camera.

Then you dive in to the nutritional information: 540 calories, which is actually less than some of the "man meals" of other fast food chains (the Low Carb Six Dollar Burger at Carl's Jr., for example, has 570 calories). A whopping 32 grams of fat (10 of them are saturated and 0.5 are trans fats). The real kicker, though, is the massive 1,380 milligrams of sodium.

Let me put that into nutritional perspective for you with a mental image:

1. Take a microwave-safe bowl and measure out two and a half tablespoons of Crisco.
2. Toss eight ounces of boneless, skinless chicken breast into the bowl.
3. Add a heaping half-teaspoonful of plain old table salt.
4. Mix it all together, microwave until the chicken is cooked, and eat, licking the bowl clean.

This disgusting-sounding concoction contains 535 calories, 32 grams of fat (30 from the Crisco, 2 from the chicken), 54 grams of protein, and about 1400 mg of sodium, and it still isn't as bad for you as the Double Down, because it's lower in saturated and trans fats.

The taste? It mostly just tastes salty, that slightly umami saltiness associated with the cap falling off the Parmesan shaker in an Italian restaurant. I ate a few bites, tossed the rest of the half I ate from, and foisted the other half onto an unsuspecting friend. This is not at all a sandwich for the ages; if you find yourself in the same plaza, go get a sandwich at Lee's.

Me, I bought a $3 package of fresh salad rolls, a banana and a $1 cup of Vietnamese yogurt at Nhu Lan Bakery on the opposite corner of Harbor and Garden Grove. I had to redeem myself, you see. Edwin, Gustavo, Willy, one of you gets the next punishment assignment.

I can't be the only one who found this part funny, surely?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

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Originally Posted by Lemur

They lovingly smear "Colonel's sauce" on the breasts

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How puerile of me, I know. :laugh4:

Get your mind out of the gutter! That's gross!

You know what would go down well as dessert? A cheesecake squished between pancakes.

IHOP's newest creation features sweet and silky crustless cheesecake layered between two world-famous IHOP buttermilk pancakes, crowned with a choice of cool strawberries, blueberry or cinnamon apple compote and crowned with creamy whipped topping. This craveable offering is available at participating IHOP restaurants around the country from now through June 20.

"With our latest promotion, IHOP took the value we're known for and topped it with one of America's favorite flavors -- cheesecake," said Carolyn O'Keefe, IHOP's senior vice president, marketing.

We're doomed. Doomed.

:P Gag me with a spoon!

I really don't think anything can ever top fried coke. KFC is woefully behind in fast food technology. It's really the State fair-folk that drive America's capacity to create myocardial infarctions.

I'm still waiting for the day I can eat a deep-fried chocolate covered steak a la mode.

Ajax

I had the doubledown the day after it came out. Cant really say much more beyond Lemur's observations. I give it a solid B. As for the IHOP creation, I wont be having that since the IHOP in my city went out of business due to IHOP being too ****** for even my city to eat.

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Originally Posted by a completely inoffensive name

I had the doubledown the day after it came out. Cant really say much more beyond Lemur's observations. I give it a solid B. As for the IHOP creation, I wont be having that since the IHOP in my city went out of business due to IHOP being too ****** for even my city to eat.

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The IHOP bashing stops here

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

The IHOP bashing stops here

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Never, if it is supposed to be a house of pancakes why did they always prevent me from eating the walls? **** 'em.

:sick:

YUCK! What kind of monstrosity is this. That is pure cardiac arrest.

Today, I will do my duty for the Org, and grab one for lunch. A full report will be given, complete with gastronomic after effects. :army:

Which should I get, the fried or the grilled?

If your going to eat one, definetly go for the fried version.

Got the fried version. Alas, there will be no unboxing video... :sad:

I have not eaten KFC in ages, so first off, props should be given for the fries. Wedges, probably fried in the same oil as the chicken, pretty tasty. As for the Double-Down itself, it's smaller than they portray in the commercials, not really as daunting a task as I expected. Not as salty as I expected either, but you can tell the NaCl is prevalent. Very greasy. I was right about the bacon, it's not really enough for the inside of a chicken sandwich, I could barely taste it over the chicken itself. The "cheese" was disappointing, they say it's 2 slices, but I'm betting it is processed cheez, applied like caulk to seal the whole thing together. The breasts are not fried to order like Lemur's article stated, I ordered through the drive-thru and got it right away.

From a fast food standpoint: Not bad. The chicken itself was pretty juicy, I think they use the spicy breading which is a plus. The breast-buns are smallish, we are not talking Perdue sized. I could have eaten another easily without thinking I had overeaten for lunch.

From a normal persons standpoint: Not good. A lot of salt, a lot of grease. The grilled version is probably healthier, but still.

The mainstream media notices.

My first bite of KFC's Double Down made me question why I ever used bread for sandwiches. By replacing the bun with two fried chicken breasts and putting bacon, cheese and glorified Thousand Island dressing in between, this culinary invention made me feel, for perhaps the first time in my sandwich-eating life, completely free — my fingers greasy, my mouth a mess, my testosterone pumping like Henry VIII eating a turkey leg and demanding a new wife to behead.