A Sign of the End Times, Part Deux

[Csargo]

I think you are okay. The product description does not specifically mention the meat being breasts or thighs...if it was the latter, that second picture might be considered very, very naughty.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF. DO NOT WANT DO NOT WANT

[Hosakawa Tito]

I hadn't noticed until now that there is a "KFC media player." Now I know the planet is doomed.

Looks like the Colonel's latest creation is too much for the Canucks.

“It is not going to be launched in Canada,” said a spokesman here. “KFC Canada is a very separate company” with the philosophy of “let them test it first and see how it is doing.”

For months, part of the speculation online and elsewhere was that the Double Down was a hoax. Indeed, food industry consultant Darren Tristano was called on Monday to explain what KFC was thinking by creating a sandwich with practically a full day’s dose of sodium in one serving.

“They’re targeting working-class consumers that have less discretionary income. It’s about quantity. Whether we like it or not, this product will appeal to a signficant portion of the consumer base,” he told salon.com.

“It appears to be achieving the goal, which is to get people interested. Freak shows are disgusting but everyone seems to want to go to them anyway. I’m probably going to try one.”

Calling it a “legendary sandwich,” KFC vice president of marketing Javier Benito explained the advance publicity blitz by saying, “We want fans to have time to arrange their scheduled in advance.”

P.S.:


Until now we've had no rules for "explicit food," but that may have to change.

That's richly ironic coming from the Land of Poutine. Can I have a diet coke with that?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Indeed, food industry consultant Darren Tristano was called on Monday to explain what KFC was thinking by creating a sandwich with practically a full day’s dose of sodium in one serving.

“They’re targeting working-class consumers that have less discretionary income. It’s about quantity. Whether we like it or not, this product will appeal to a signficant portion of the consumer base,” he told salon.com.

haha, who is this guy? "Whether we like it or not..."


I doubt that this thing is much more unhealthy than many other fast food items.

[tibilicus]

Is it wrong that I think the grilled chicken variant looks kind of yummy?

[InsaneApache]

Is it wrong that I think the grilled chicken variant looks kind of yummy?

Any meat product that uses its having no bones as a cause for celebration is best avoided. You know it makes sense.

[Martok]

Good god! You mean that thing is real??! I'd thought it was a late April Fool's joke.


I can't decide if I'm more horrified or intrigued....

[CrossLOPER]

It looks like something someone would come up with in a school cafeteria, except it probably tastes better.

[Lemur]

A detailed firsthand account of the devil's sandwich, the doubledown:

Yes, that's right. I put my cardiac health on the line today. I drove to the KFC on Harbor Boulevard in Garden Grove, steeled my nerves, crossed myself, walked in and ordered a Double Down. Let no one say I never take one for the team.

On the surface, it doesn't sound so bad. It's really a chicken club without the bun, except that it's also devoid of anything resembling a vegetable. Even iceberg lettuce has been banished from the Double Down.

It took eight minutes to get my sandwich; unlike pretty much everything else at KFC, the breaded chicken breasts are fried to order for the Double Down. They lovingly smear "Colonel's sauce" on the breasts, then layer on Monterey Jack and pepper Jack cheeses and two pieces of bacon (also, from the smell emanating from the back, freshly cooked). The two breasts are clapped together, wrapped in paper, put in a box and rushed to you.

The first thing you notice is how greasy it is. It soaked completely through the wax paper in which it was wrapped; six double-folded napkins later, it was still greasy enough to cause me to get grease on the touchscreen of my camera.

Then you dive in to the nutritional information: 540 calories, which is actually less than some of the "man meals" of other fast food chains (the Low Carb Six Dollar Burger at Carl's Jr., for example, has 570 calories). A whopping 32 grams of fat (10 of them are saturated and 0.5 are trans fats). The real kicker, though, is the massive 1,380 milligrams of sodium.

Let me put that into nutritional perspective for you with a mental image:

1. Take a microwave-safe bowl and measure out two and a half tablespoons of Crisco.
2. Toss eight ounces of boneless, skinless chicken breast into the bowl.
3. Add a heaping half-teaspoonful of plain old table salt.
4. Mix it all together, microwave until the chicken is cooked, and eat, licking the bowl clean.

This disgusting-sounding concoction contains 535 calories, 32 grams of fat (30 from the Crisco, 2 from the chicken), 54 grams of protein, and about 1400 mg of sodium, and it still isn't as bad for you as the Double Down, because it's lower in saturated and trans fats.

The taste? It mostly just tastes salty, that slightly umami saltiness associated with the cap falling off the Parmesan shaker in an Italian restaurant. I ate a few bites, tossed the rest of the half I ate from, and foisted the other half onto an unsuspecting friend. This is not at all a sandwich for the ages; if you find yourself in the same plaza, go get a sandwich at Lee's.

Me, I bought a $3 package of fresh salad rolls, a banana and a $1 cup of Vietnamese yogurt at Nhu Lan Bakery on the opposite corner of Harbor and Garden Grove. I had to redeem myself, you see. Edwin, Gustavo, Willy, one of you gets the next punishment assignment.

[Secura]

I can't be the only one who found this part funny, surely?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

They lovingly smear "Colonel's sauce" on the breasts

How puerile of me, I know.

[A Nerd]

Get your mind out of the gutter! That's gross!

[Lemur]

You know what would go down well as dessert? A cheesecake squished between pancakes.

IHOP's newest creation features sweet and silky crustless cheesecake layered between two world-famous IHOP buttermilk pancakes, crowned with a choice of cool strawberries, blueberry or cinnamon apple compote and crowned with creamy whipped topping. This craveable offering is available at participating IHOP restaurants around the country from now through June 20.

"With our latest promotion, IHOP took the value we're known for and topped it with one of America's favorite flavors -- cheesecake," said Carolyn O'Keefe, IHOP's senior vice president, marketing.

We're doomed. Doomed.

[A Nerd]

:P Gag me with a spoon!

[A Very Super Market]

I really don't think anything can ever top fried coke. KFC is woefully behind in fast food technology. It's really the State fair-folk that drive America's capacity to create myocardial infarctions.

[ajaxfetish]

I'm still waiting for the day I can eat a deep-fried chocolate covered steak a la mode.

Ajax

[a completely inoffensive name]

I had the doubledown the day after it came out. Cant really say much more beyond Lemur's observations. I give it a solid B. As for the IHOP creation, I wont be having that since the IHOP in my city went out of business due to IHOP being too ****** for even my city to eat.

[Strike For The South]

I had the doubledown the day after it came out. Cant really say much more beyond Lemur's observations. I give it a solid B. As for the IHOP creation, I wont be having that since the IHOP in my city went out of business due to IHOP being too ****** for even my city to eat.

The IHOP bashing stops here

[a completely inoffensive name]

The IHOP bashing stops here

Never, if it is supposed to be a house of pancakes why did they always prevent me from eating the walls? **** 'em.

[naut]

YUCK! What kind of monstrosity is this. That is pure cardiac arrest.

[drone]

Today, I will do my duty for the Org, and grab one for lunch. A full report will be given, complete with gastronomic after effects.

Which should I get, the fried or the grilled?

[A Nerd]

If your going to eat one, definetly go for the fried version.

[drone]

Got the fried version. Alas, there will be no unboxing video...

I have not eaten KFC in ages, so first off, props should be given for the fries. Wedges, probably fried in the same oil as the chicken, pretty tasty. As for the Double-Down itself, it's smaller than they portray in the commercials, not really as daunting a task as I expected. Not as salty as I expected either, but you can tell the NaCl is prevalent. Very greasy. I was right about the bacon, it's not really enough for the inside of a chicken sandwich, I could barely taste it over the chicken itself. The "cheese" was disappointing, they say it's 2 slices, but I'm betting it is processed cheez, applied like caulk to seal the whole thing together. The breasts are not fried to order like Lemur's article stated, I ordered through the drive-thru and got it right away.

From a fast food standpoint: Not bad. The chicken itself was pretty juicy, I think they use the spicy breading which is a plus. The breast-buns are smallish, we are not talking Perdue sized. I could have eaten another easily without thinking I had overeaten for lunch.

From a normal persons standpoint: Not good. A lot of salt, a lot of grease. The grilled version is probably healthier, but still.

[Lemur]

The mainstream media notices.

My first bite of KFC's Double Down made me question why I ever used bread for sandwiches. By replacing the bun with two fried chicken breasts and putting bacon, cheese and glorified Thousand Island dressing in between, this culinary invention made me feel, for perhaps the first time in my sandwich-eating life, completely free — my fingers greasy, my mouth a mess, my testosterone pumping like Henry VIII eating a turkey leg and demanding a new wife to behead.