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Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your race?
http://www.economist.com/world/unite...most_commented
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Sex and the single black woman
How the mass incarceration of black men hurts black women
Apr 8th 2010 | From The Economist print edition
IMAGINE that the world consists of 20 men and 20 women, all of them heterosexual and in search of a mate. Since the numbers are even, everyone can find a partner. But what happens if you take away one man? You might not think this would make much difference. You would be wrong, argues Tim Harford, a British economist, in a book called “The Logic of Life”. With 20 women pursuing 19 men, one woman faces the prospect of spinsterhood. So she ups her game. Perhaps she dresses more seductively. Perhaps she makes an extra effort to be obliging. Somehow or other, she “steals” a man from one of her fellow women. That newly single woman then ups her game, too, to steal a man from someone else. A chain reaction ensues. Before long, every woman has to try harder, and every man can relax a little.
Real life is more complicated, of course, but this simple model illustrates an important truth. In the marriage market, numbers matter. And among African-Americans, the disparity is much worse than in Mr Harford’s imaginary example. Between the ages of 20 and 29, one black man in nine is behind bars. For black women of the same age, the figure is about one in 150. For obvious reasons, convicts are excluded from the dating pool. And many women also steer clear of ex-cons, which makes a big difference when one young black man in three can expect to be locked up at some point.
Removing so many men from the marriage market has profound consequences. As incarceration rates exploded between 1970 and 2007, the proportion of US-born black women aged 30-44 who were married plunged from 62% to 33%. Why this happened is complex and furiously debated. The era of mass imprisonment began as traditional mores were already crumbling, following the sexual revolution of the 1960s and the invention of the contraceptive pill. It also coincided with greater opportunities for women in the workplace. These factors must surely have had something to do with the decline of marriage.
But jail is a big part of the problem, argue Kerwin Kofi Charles, now at the University of Chicago, and Ming Ching Luoh of National Taiwan University. They divided America up into geographical and racial “marriage markets”, to take account of the fact that most people marry someone of the same race who lives relatively close to them. Then, after crunching the census numbers, they found that a one percentage point increase in the male incarceration rate was associated with a 2.4-point reduction in the proportion of women who ever marry. Could it be, however, that mass incarceration is a symptom of increasing social dysfunction, and that it was this social dysfunction that caused marriage to wither? Probably not. For similar crimes, America imposes much harsher penalties than other rich countries. Mr Charles and Mr Luoh controlled for crime rates, as a proxy for social dysfunction, and found that it made no difference to their results. They concluded that “higher male imprisonment has lowered the likelihood that women marry…and caused a shift in the gains from marriage away from women and towards men.”
Learning and earning
Similar problems afflict working-class whites, but they are more concentrated among blacks. Some 70% of black babies are born out of wedlock. The collapse of the traditional family has made black Americans far poorer and lonelier than they would otherwise have been. The least-educated black women suffer the most. In 2007 only 11% of US-born black women aged 30-44 without a high school diploma had a working spouse, according to the Pew Research Centre. Their college-educated sisters fare better, but are still affected by the sex imbalance. Because most seek husbands of the same race—96% of married black women are married to black men—they are ultimately fishing in the same pool.
Black women tend to stay in school longer than black men. Looking only at the non-incarcerated population, black women are 40% more likely to go to college. They are also more likely than white women to seek work. One reason why so many black women strive so hard is because they do not expect to split the household bills with a male provider. And the educational disparity creates its own tensions. If you are a college-educated black woman with a good job and you wish to marry a black man who is your socioeconomic equal, the odds are not good.
“I thought I was a catch,” sighs an attractive black female doctor at a hospital in Washington, DC. Black men with good jobs know they are “a hot commodity”, she observes. When there are six women chasing one man, “It’s like, what are you going to do extra, to get his attention?” Some women offer sex on the first date, she says, which makes life harder for those who prefer to combine romance with commitment. She complains about a recent boyfriend, an electrician whom she had been dating for about six months, whose phone started ringing late at night. It turned out to be his other girlfriend. Pressed, he said he didn’t realise the relationship was meant to be exclusive.
The skewed sex ratio “puts black women in an awful spot,” says Audrey Chapman, a relationship counsellor and the author of several books with titles such as “Getting Good Loving”. Her advice to single black women is pragmatic: love yourself, communicate better and so on. She says that many black men and women, having been brought up by single mothers, are unsure what role a man should play in the home. The women expect to be in charge; the men sometimes resent this. Nisa Muhammad of the Wedded Bliss Foundation, a pro-marriage group, urges her college-educated sisters to consider marrying honourable blue-collar workers, such as the postman. But the simplest way to help the black family would be to lock up fewer black men for non-violent offences.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Honest answers please folks.
I want it understood that voting "no" does not imply any xenophobia or racism, it could simply be recognition of what clearly exists as a fact, i.e. that attractiveness for some people includes a affinity to the same race, for a variety of different reasons, in addition to all the other social and cultural reasons that spark attraction between two individual.
If you are an overly sensitive PC type who is subject to this then please, vote first and comment later to anonymize your shame rather than pander to the liberal stereotype of being hip and 'modern' about all things racial, i want genuine reactions.
This post/poll is prompted by my surprise that african american woman weren't prepared to look outside the limited pool of african american men for a partner, a fact which i find strange, so I am wondering how prevalent this attitude is outside the single demographic mentioned..........................?
I personally would be delighted to go out with a smokin' hot lady of african descent, the more exotic the better in my opinion, as too me that in itself is a powerful cause for physical attraction.
But i realize not everyone has the same impulses for attraction.
Go for your life.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
i like most girls who are good looking, i have had asian and latino girlfriends. honestly though im not really attracted to blakc women.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
For me the problem wouldn't be that people of different races aren't attractive (although I've got to say I never really think black women look that attractive).
But when I think of having half-black or half-Chinese children, I just can't imagine seeing them as my own. :skull:
Terrible thing to say I know, but that's just the way it is. Maybe it's nature, maybe it's a social thing, idk.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
This post/poll is prompted by my surprise that african american woman weren't prepared to look outside the limited pool of african american men for a partner, a fact which i find strange, so I am wondering how prevalent this attitude is outside the single demographic mentioned..........................?
I would say it's a culture thing more than a race thing...that would be my guess (in America anwyay).
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I don't think I could stick with a 250 metre, since I am a big fan of the 100 metre.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Centurion1
i like most girls who are good looking, i have had asian and latino girlfriends. honestly though im not really attracted to blakc women.
that's ok, you aren't expected to find every race equally attractive.
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Originally Posted by
Rhyfelwyr
For me the problem wouldn't be that people of different races aren't attractive (although I've got to say I never really think black women look that attractive).
But when I think of having half-black or half-Chinese children, I just can't imagine seeing them as my own. :skull:
Terrible thing to say I know, but that's just the way it is. Maybe it's nature, maybe it's a social thing, idk.
not really, personal preference trumps all, whatever that might be. this is your own personal preference we are talking about, not society's group expectations.
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Originally Posted by
Sasaki Kojiro
I would say it's a culture thing more than a race thing...that would be my guess (in America anwyay).
sure i accept culture is part of it, might be a bit of a nature/nurture argument where is it impossible to properly disentangle the two for absolute accuracy.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I don't mind, every race has beautiful women and if the character fits, might actually be more exciting due to the cultural differences etc.
Not that I'm talking from experience or anything. :laugh4:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
None of the responses really fits my view. If she is good looking, she's good looking. However, finding someone who's a good, decent person ranks slightly higher on my priority list. My answer would be a "yes", but not really because I have an affinity for "exotic" girls or only want one who's "sorta white". Like Husar, I'd say there's plenty of pretty girls in most races. It comes down to the girl, not the race.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Originally Posted by
Furunculus
Honest answers please folks.
I can't really answer honest when I have to choose between
a ) Yes - The more exotic the better from my point of view
or b)Yes - Provided they are not too disimilar (e.g. different asiatic, or different caucasian))
A middle ground would be nice. :inquisitive:
I won't answer about "marriage", but I cannot say that I've encountered "ugly races". Nice question, though.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
perhaps we can take (a) to mean that race is simply not an issue, and that other factors will determine attraction.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
That's what I assumed.
~:smoking:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Originally Posted by
Viking
I can't really answer honest when I have to choose between
a ) Yes - The more exotic the better from my point of view
or b)Yes - Provided they are not too disimilar (e.g. different asiatic, or different caucasian))
A middle ground would be nice. :inquisitive:
I won't answer about "marriage", but I cannot say that I've encountered "ugly races". Nice question, though.
Absolutely agree. It's not really a matter of race. I will even put the way "b" is formulated under a criticism. I've met some really attractive African women and I doubt that any person from whatever race he/she is will question their beauty.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I will say that while I find beautiful women of all races......I find more white women to be beautiful then women of any other race.
so while it is certainly possible that I would marry outside my race I don´t find it the most likely scenario.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
personally i would say that finland, poland and slovenia are tied for creating the prettiest ladies, so perhaps there is a Caucasian element to my preference, but I am certainly keen yo 'experience' beauty wherever it is to be fond, and that beauty to me is at least in part defined by its difference to what i perceive as the norm.
no english roses for me i'm afraid.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
As for marriage, too late. I am not at all likely to marry outside my own race and 100% likely to already be married within it.
As for a broader question of attraction, I am certainly not equally attracted to women of varying races. I'd say I prefer women of my own race, then women of mixed races including my own, and then women entirely of others, with some races more preferred than others. I would separate attraction and beauty, though, as I can recognize women as beautiful (sometimes stunningly so) but still not my type, and not a source of attraction.
Ajax
edit: for marriage of course, other factors play at least as big a role as beauty/attraction, or at least I certainly think they should.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Article
But the simplest way to help the black family would be to lock up fewer black men for non-violent offences.
I don't agree with the undercurrent of the article, which essentially follows the oft-repeated theme of blaming every one and every thing for black society's problems except for black people. The simplest way to help the black family would be for fewer black men to commit criminal offences. Oh, and to start acting like men, not dogs.
I believe PJ is using "dogs" here in its metaphorical sense, i.e. behaving in a self-serving manner and not setting aside personal interest in favor of family and committment. As such, it is not intended as a racist slur, but is a behavioral critique. SF
I live in a majority black city, and I must say that I am not at all impressed with American "black" culture as I have experienced it. As I believe Sasaki mentioned, though, it is about culture - not race. Many blacks do not live their lives in the way the article describes.
As for the OP's question... probably not.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
It is (another) good argument against the war on drugs though.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Decision already made for me. Turns out I married another white Catholic like myself. Can't say as race figured into it so much as her being attracted to me did. Nineteen years together and I still can't believe I got that lucky.
Race? Race is a very small thing when you really think about it. Rather said it has marred so much of our history as a species.
Poll also lacks a: "couldn't care less one way or the other" option.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
For some reason, I don't see attractiveness in other races. Don't see a lot of it in any girl/guy.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
for some interesting and unknown factor, I always think that Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese girls are much prettier than Japanese, even when most can't tell the difference between them..... maybe that was the result of watching too much JAV...
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Seamus Fermanagh
Poll also lacks a: "couldn't care less one way or the other" option.
i kind of intended for the for option to include that viewpoint, but seeing as you're the second person to point out the flaw in the phrasing of option (a) I would be happy for you to edit the poll to include a more specific "couldn't care less one way or the other" option.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Funny really, I don't see 'mom' as black. She is of course but she's just 'mom' to me. It's worked out well for 'mom' and my dad. Two very different cultures but somehow they seem to dovetail together nicely. We treat her to yorkshire pudding and curries, traditional English foods and she treats us to jerk chicken and gumbo, traditional black American foods. She does have a very good sense of humour which helps. It took her some time to 'get' the English humour but now she has, she thinks it's hilarious. Plus she loves the UK, like she said she didn't have to learn a new language when she first moved over here, she just had to learn how to spell properly. :laugh4:
People are just people.
As for myself, I had a negro girlfriend when I was in my teens. Never really thought anything of it. If you fancy a bird you ask them out. If they say no, hard cheese, if yes, whoopee!
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I voted for option four, not because I find non-white women unattractive, but because my ideal is the "English Rose", one of the most attractive things for me is alabaster skin, along with slightly flushed cheeks and full mouth, add dark hair and warm dark eyes and I'm likely to be poleaxed.
Having said that; I've met some real corkers from other locales.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Jerk chicken is more of a carribean specialty. Gumbo is Cajun.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
interesting results so far, with twelve votes for totally unconcerned, and twelve votes where race plays some part in determining attraction, with just half a quarter of those who have a decided preference.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Seamus Fermanagh
Jerk chicken is more of a carribean specialty. Gumbo is Cajun.
Indeed. Curry on the other hand is a well known English dish. :balloon2:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Originally Posted by
InsaneApache
Indeed. Curry on the other hand is a well known English dish. :balloon2:
To each their own "cup of tea," but I though Tim was a yank....
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
I don't agree with the undercurrent of the article, which essentially follows the oft-repeated theme of blaming every one and every thing for black society's problems except for black people. The simplest way to help the black family would be for fewer black men to commit criminal offences. Oh, and to start acting like men, not dogs.
I believe PJ is using "dogs" here in its metaphorical sense, i.e. behaving in a self-serving manner and not setting aside personal interest in favor of family and committment. As such, it is not intended as a racist slur, but is a behavioral critique. SF
I live in a majority black
city, and I must say that I am not at all impressed with American "black" culture as I have experienced it. As I believe
Sasaki mentioned, though, it is about culture - not race. Many blacks do not live their lives in the way the article describes.
As for the OP's question... probably not.
I feel sorry for you, not only do you live in hillbilly land you have to endure the crap they try to pass off as BBQ.
As per the original question I certianly find women of all races attractive and have certianly had much in common with said women, however as per my agreement with grandfather, I will end up marrying a "southern belle from plantation country who has been spoiled rotten by her daddy" which will become a sexless marrige about two weeks after the honeymoon. But hey I'll probably end up screwing my secratary and depending where I end she'll probably be black :shrug:
If I were to tell you my real choice though it would be a cajun from the bayou. 1. Because that accent drives me nuts and 2. Because she'll be able to cook cajun food and that is my favorite kind.
She'll be catholic, does that count?
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
would you marry outside your race?
Hell no, never. And I seem to attract native girls a lot more easily than others; I don't mind.
By the way, why are black men so likely to be in jail? Don't you think something is wrong with that? What the heck did you guys do to them? :dizzy2:
Oh wait, here we go:
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJ
The simplest way to help the black family would be for fewer black men to commit criminal offences. Oh, and to start acting like men, not dogs.
Great, man, good for you. How?
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
There seems to be a general assumption that attraction is the main requisite for marriage. This may be, but is fraught with danger, in that marriage is a long term commitment and other attributes, less affected by the passage of time, are a more important consideration.
No one has touched on the issue of social pressure (although Strike did note his grandfather's preference :beam:). In my world, which is implicitly racist, peer group expectations of marriage are very clearly set. Class used to be the absolute barrier (which made race a minor issue unlikely to be confronted) but race is most certainly now a major disqualifying attribute for all but the bravest or most eccentric. Whilst my sub-set is somewhat mediaevalist in its expectation, I think a similar attitude can be found in a number of cultural groups.
Being a bit of a traditionalist in family matters, I followed convention and expectations for my marriage, although outside my "normal" group but within my class (slightly above, in truth) and race. Recognising my own innate racism in this and other choices, I was simply not prepared to challenge existing boundaries and by so doing, inflict (a horrid word, but accurate in describing my feelings on the matter) a hereditary millstone around the necks of my descendants. Lady Ghost is rather attractive, but possesses much finer and lasting qualities that make her a perfect spouse in my world - and more important, enables her to feel happy in that world, and I in hers.
Marrying outside one's race and culture can be fraught with extra issues. These can often make the marriage strong and resilient, but only if properly recognised beforehand, I feel. As I noted, marriage is not the same as simple attraction or a dalliance based thereupon.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Strike For The South
I feel sorry for you, not only do you live in hillbilly land you have to endure the crap they try to pass off as BBQ.
As per the original question I certianly find women of all races attractive and have certianly had much in common with said women, however as per my agreement with grandfather, I will end up marrying a "southern belle from plantation country who has been spoiled rotten by her daddy" which will become a sexless marrige about two weeks after the honeymoon. But hey I'll probably end up screwing my secratary and depending where I end she'll probably be black :shrug:
If I were to tell you my real choice though it would be a cajun from the bayou. 1. Because that accent drives me nuts and 2. Because she'll be able to cook cajun food and that is my favorite kind.
She'll be catholic, does that count?
Strike, are you REALLY that sensitive, i mean REALLY, are you?
Complaining over what PJ said is ridiculous, this is something of a sensitive topic but your PC hair-trigger will doing nothing but help to derail it.
Chill out d00d!
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Strike For The South
I feel sorry for you, not only do you live in hillbilly land you have to endure the crap they try to pass off as BBQ.
Me too, I hate Memphis. Perennially in America's top 5 most dangerous cities and America's top 5 unhappiest cities! Don't know where you're getting your information about BBQ though. That's one thing the locals do very right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Megas
Great, man, good for you. How?
I don't think I really need to explain how not to commit crimes and how to treat women with respect, do I? Common sense stuff, here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Furnunculus
Strike, are you REALLY that sensitive, i mean REALLY, are you?
Complaining over what PJ said is ridiculous, this is something of a sensitive topic but your PC hair-trigger will doing nothing but help to derail it.
Chill out d00d!
I didn't take his post as a complaint against mine - just a friendly jab at the city I live in. :grin:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Banquo's Ghost
There seems to be a general assumption that attraction is the main requisite for marriage. This may be, but is fraught with danger, in that marriage is a long term commitment and other attributes, less affected by the passage of time, are a more important consideration.
No one has touched on the issue of social pressure (although Strike did note his grandfather's preference :beam:). In my world, which is implicitly racist, peer group expectations of marriage are very clearly set. Class used to be the absolute barrier (which made race a minor issue unlikely to be confronted) but race is most certainly now a major disqualifying attribute for all but the bravest or most eccentric. Whilst my sub-set is somewhat mediaevalist in its expectation, I think a similar attitude can be found in a number of cultural groups.
Being a bit of a traditionalist in family matters, I followed convention and expectations for my marriage, although outside my "normal" group but within my class (slightly above, in truth) and race. Recognising my own innate racism in this and other choices, I was simply not prepared to challenge existing boundaries and by so doing, inflict (a horrid word, but accurate in describing my feelings on the matter) a hereditary millstone around the necks of my descendants. Lady Ghost is rather attractive, but possesses much finer and lasting qualities that make her a perfect spouse in my world - and more important, enables her to feel happy in that world, and I in hers.
Marrying outside one's race and culture can be fraught with extra issues. These can often make the marriage strong and resilient, but only if properly recognised beforehand, I feel. As I noted, marriage is not the same as simple attraction or a dalliance based thereupon.
the problem with the use of the word "marry" is the same problem as had with the simplicity of the first "yes" option; a simple poll does not provide enough depth to describe the totality of the question in hand.
Marry does not necessarily mean marriage, what it intends to imply is that you would be up for a greater relationship commitment than would be the case with a holiday-fling, and one that will involve your family and peer group.
Exotic does not necessarily mean you have a full blown fetish for every ethnic appearance that is extremely different from ones own, what it intends is to stand apart from the next "yes" option where there is residual bias even if it is not an overriding factor.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Not the more exotic the better but there are gorgeous women to be found in any race, I wouldn't mind
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I won't marry, ever.
So this question doesn't really apply to me...
EDIT: No strike that, I might get married. But only a pro-bono marriage, if someone needs residence in western europe I'm available... Just to let you know...
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
I won't marry, ever.
So this question doesn't really apply to me...
Civil partnership perhaps? :inquisitive:
:laugh4:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
InsaneApache
Civil partnership perhaps? :inquisitive:
Hah!
Well I know you're very fond of me IA, but I'm sorry, our relationship will never reach that level.... I don't swing that way sorry, it's nothing to do with you, I'm sure you're great fellah and everything!!
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I can't link to it here, and don't have time to read this whole thread, but:
The CDC, like 1 month ago, released some numbers that said 48% of black females have genital herpes. This may have something to do with the single-ness as well.
the numbers for the black men were much lower, very much in line with the rest of the population. The number for the females seemed so high, though I thought it was a misprint. so far, I am not aware of the CDC changing their results or saying it was a mistake
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Banquo's Ghost
[...]
Marrying outside one's race and culture can be fraught with extra issues. These can often make the marriage strong and resilient, but only if properly recognised beforehand, I feel. As I noted, marriage is not the same as simple attraction or a dalliance based thereupon.
But isn't attraction or attractiveness just the cumulation of all these factors? You indirectly said yourself that the class and the qualities of your wife made her more attractive to you than others that may have been more appealing to the eye or so.
That's not to say you don't have a point there, with the high divorce rates nowadays, one would have to think a lot of people may simply set the wrong priorities.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
I won't marry, ever.
So this question doesn't really apply to me...
EDIT: No strike that, I might get married. But only a pro-bono marriage, if someone needs residence in western europe I'm available... Just to let you know...
please refer to:
Quote:
the problem with the use of the word "marry" is the same problem as had with the simplicity of the first "yes" option; a simple poll does not provide enough depth to describe the totality of the question in hand.
Marry does not necessarily mean marriage, what it intends to imply is that you would be up for a greater relationship commitment than would be the case with a holiday-fling, and one that will involve your family and peer group.
Exotic does not necessarily mean you have a full blown fetish for every ethnic appearance that is extremely different from ones own, what it intends is to stand apart from the next "yes" option where there is residual bias even if it is not an overriding factor.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Furunculus
please refer to:
Another problem though; humans are so genetically similar, that trying to break us into different races is impossible, there is just one human race, the others(neanderthals) died out a long time ao. It's quite possible to divide us into different ethnicities though...
Anyway, the answer is yes. Why I should have to care about someones skin colour is beyond me, really. As long as there's no fluff on the muff... But a religious woman would be impossible.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
cool, answer noted, thanks.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
Another problem though; humans are so genetically similar, that trying to break us into different races is impossible, there is just one human race, the others(neanderthals) died out a long time ao. It's quite possible to divide us into different ethnicities though...
Anyway, the answer is yes. Why I should have to care about someones skin colour is beyond me, really. As long as there's no fluff on the muff... But a religious woman would be impossible.
I agree whole-heartedly with paragraph one.
Regarding paragraph two, I concur on skin-color, I generally concur on the follicle-cropping (though hirsuite is not that much of a negative to me), but disagree on the last point.
I would also note that you aren't including your possible reaction to "non-standard" religions. Perhaps a self-claimed priestess of Epona who insists on being "ridden" as part of her devotions or a devote of Ishtar. It takes all kinds.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Seamus Fermanagh
I agree whole-heartedly with paragraph one.
Regarding paragraph two, I concur on skin-color, I generally concur on the follicle-cropping (though hirsuite is not that much of a negative to me), but disagree on the last point.
I would also note that you aren't including your possible reaction to "non-standard" religions. Perhaps a self-claimed priestess of Epona who insists on being "ridden" as part of her devotions or a devote of Ishtar. It takes all kinds.
Different skin colour is no problem; a different view of the world is. I don't see how I can be in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't share my morals and values, or at least is somewhere close to mine. And religious people don't share my world-view, my morals or my values... But a :daisy: -friend with a religious devotion to freaky sex? Bring it on!
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
for me what usually yields the most stunning results is mixing. latina + african = brazilian = yummie!!!
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
Different skin colour is no problem; a different view of the world is. I don't see how I can be in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't share my morals and values, or at least is somewhere close to mine. And religious people don't share my world-view, my morals or my values... But a :daisy: -friend with a religious devotion to freaky sex? Bring it on!
^ that. There is something you should know about devout christan chicks though, really
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Don't the psychologists say we (men) essentially want to marry our mothers? That may play into the decision making process when choosing a mate.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I love my mom, but no, thanks.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fragony
^ that. There is something you should know about devout christan chicks though, really
Heh heh, that only works in about 50% of cases, they can swing one of two ways (but generally don't swing both ways).
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fragony
^ that. There is something you should know about devout christan chicks though, really
My 19-year old niece is currently a missionary in Nepal.
The less I know the better........... :smash:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Furunculus
Strike, are you REALLY that sensitive, i mean REALLY, are you?
!
What are you talking about? I don't care what PJ said about marrige.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
Me too, I hate Memphis. Perennially in America's top 5 most dangerous cities and America's top 5 unhappiest cities! Don't know where you're getting your information about BBQ though. That's one thing the locals do very right. :
I may not care how you feel about interacial marrige but just know BBQ is serious bidness and memphis is at best faux KC.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Have married "outside" my race already (over 5 years ago to be precise). The lovely 'Mrs Asai' is of South American origin.
:bow:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
drone
Don't the psychologists say we (men) essentially want to marry our mothers? That may play into the decision making process when choosing a mate.
Thank you for the Psychological broadcast from 1905.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beskar
Thank you for the Psychological broadcast from 1905.
I change my vote, I want to marry Beskar. Becasue he's fiesty and I like that.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beskar
Thank you for the Psychological broadcast from 1905.
No problem. Do you smoke cigars?
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I am with Rhyfelwyr on this one... *gasp*
I dont mind having an asian chick (or whatever) as a one night stand, or as a sex partner... However, when it comes to having children I would like something looking remotely close to me.
I mean, I do endorse FLK as they make the world more rich, it's just not in ME to have those childs.
I can get (very much) turned on by asian women or south american women... I have never yet found a black woman who turns me on though. But still if I get turned on, I would prefer to have little ones with someone from my own race.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
why?
i personally believe it shouldnt matter how the woman u marry looks like or what race she is from... its supposed to be about love and character. ofcourse u should be attracted to her (atleast in the start :P) but u wont stick unless there is something between u that glues u together.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Strike For The South
I change my vote, I want to marry Beskar.
No way, sweetie-pie.
I'm not getting a divorce.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asai Nagamasa
The lovely 'Mrs Asai' is of South American origin.
So that would make her a white european then.
....And you are...?
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
drone
No problem. Do you smoke cigars?
No cigars here, just wanted to point out Psychology has moved on a little since then. :wink:
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
So that would make her a white european then.
....And you are...?
hmmmmmmmm, if she is upper class or from the Southern Cone you'd be right but considering a large portion of South Americans are Native, black, or mixed you're probably wrong
Quote:
No way, sweetie-pie.
I'm not getting a divorce.
Que?
We can just enter a Gay polygamus marrige. Seeing as we're all consenting adults and we are not harming anyone elses liberty; I fail to see why that would be a problem.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beskar
No cigars here, just wanted to point out Psychology has moved on a little since then. :wink:
Somewhat, but your relationship with your parents do have a big impact on what you look for later on in life. How they interact with each other affects how you will interact with your partner. A culture where the male/female roles are drastically different may lead to subconscious incompatibilities that prevent a relationship from progressing.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
I don't think I really need to explain how not to commit crimes and how to treat women with respect, do I? Common sense stuff, here.
When you grow up in a certain way of life, you'll emulate it. In that way, such things are intergenerational, and won't stop happening because you say it's wrong and that such things must stop.
Very nice solution you got there. "Common sense," yeah, that's right. I wonder why things like these are still goin on, then? Not everyone has the gift of living the sheltered life you enjoy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFTS
but considering a large portion of South Americans are Native, black, or mixed you're probably wrong
Yeah, South America is a lot better off in that respect than the North, our "Little Europe."
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HoreTore
So that would make her a white european then.
....And you are...?
Not sure I understand the question fully - it's very much open to interpretation (and I do have a tendency to be rather paranoid) so please do elaborate somewhat.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Yeah, South America is a lot better off in that respect than the North, our "Little Europe."
https://img202.imageshack.us/img202/9080/whininge.jpg
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Hey, there's nothin wrong with livin in a colonial society. You, above all people, know that.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Megas Methuselah
Hey, there's nothin wrong with livin in a colonial society. You, above all people, know that.
It must take work to be this bitter
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Megas Methuselah
When you grow up in a certain way of life, you'll emulate it. In that way, such things are intergenerational, and won't stop happening because you say it's wrong and that such things must stop.
Very nice solution you got there. "Common sense," yeah, that's right. I wonder why things like these are still goin on, then? Not everyone has the gift of living the sheltered life you enjoy.
A time-honored excuse, which, unless you're trying to argue that these people are unaware of the laws of the land and of common decency, is not really an excuse at all.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
A time-honored excuse, which, unless you're trying to argue that these people are unaware of the laws of the land and of common decency, is not really an excuse at all.
There is a grain of truth to the statement though, however I agree that elements of the urban culture lead to this sort of thing and it's one of the reasons why Latinos are generally much more distrustworthy of blacks and see more in common with whites despite the fact that latins and blacks parllel eachothers exsistence in most cases.
What it comes down to is A strong emphasis on the family in the Latin community and the startiling abscence of one in the black community.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
A time-honored excuse, which, unless you're trying to argue that these people are unaware of the laws of the land and of common decency, is not really an excuse at all.
the common decency you refer to is not at all that common, nor at all has it been that decent for a long time.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
I feel like I should expand on my last post.
I subscribe to the fact that ascrbing people inate advantages and disadvantages due to the amount melinan in there skin is completley ludacris.
As should be pointed out African immagrants achieve some of the highest sucsses in America, so clearly I do not mean to pigeonhole all blacks. Nor do I not recognize blacks who were born here who do not acheive greatness.
However as a whole Blacks tend to do worse than any other ethnic group and the main reason for that is the break up of the family (A fact which is only becooming more clear with more hispanics moving in)
The main reasons for the dengenration of the black family are as follows (IMO)
-Lack of a father figure (which has become a self repeating cycle)
-Prison time and high amounts of recidivism
-An urban culture which appeals to a mostly black auidence which in turn reinforces the above two points.
Now how are we to change these things? I dont have a comprehensive answer, I feel a great deal of good could be done by fixing the school system and giving the kids a hobby that is theres and that they can make progress in.
If you teach a boy to throw a baseball, he will be much less likely to throw a rock.
Unfortunatley this is eaiser said than done, As I frimly beilive there is money to be made in the black vicitm complex that grew out of the (completely needed and legit) 60s civil rights movement. We have moved past that stage and need new soultions for where we are at today but the power structure in allot of African American communites is still domanited by men who see things through a 60s world view
Edit: I also realize as a white man who grew up in a Hispanic town, I am probably painting with a broad brush and overlooking some sensestive issues. but you do what you can.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Strike For The South
There is a grain of truth to the statement though, however I agree that elements of the urban culture lead to this sort of thing and it's one of the reasons why Latinos are generally much more distrustworthy of blacks and see more in common with whites despite the fact that latins and blacks parllel eachothers exsistence in most cases.
What it comes down to is A strong emphasis on the family in the Latin community and the startiling abscence of one in the black community.
african american community. plz. you go to africa and you will see that there is no lack of family empathy there. it is cultural thing, not a racial thing. in holland the emphasis is also more at the individual than the family, but this does not make it so for all white people around the world.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Stranger
african american community. plz. you go to africa and you will see that there is no lack of family empathy there. it is cultural thing, not a racial thing. in holland the emphasis is also more at the individual than the family, but this does not make it so for all white people around the world.
Yes it's clearly cultrual....I realize that
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Stranger
the common decency you refer to is not at all that common, nor at all has it been that decent for a long time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears you are implying that black culture in America is less advanced than other cultures and has not yet developed modern standards of common decency; and thus should be forgiven for its lawlessness and dysfunctional social structure. Is that the point you were making?
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PanzerJaeger
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears you are implying that black culture in America is less advanced than other cultures and has not yet developed modern standards of common decency; and thus should be forgiven for its lawlessness and dysfunctional social structure. Is that the point you were making?
I personally believe that many blacks in the US are still suffering from the shock of centuries of crime and abuse commited against them.
As for hip hop culture, that is definitely not black culture. In my own case, we have our own culture to turn to in the struggle to stand up, and together with our treaty rights, it seems to be working. But it'll take generations to recover from a genocide that ran for centuries, and we will not heal overnight. I imagine that the blacks are going through this exact same process.
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Re: Black woman single cos the black men are in jail - would you marry outside your r
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Megas Methuselah
I personally believe that many blacks in the US are still suffering from the shock of centuries of crime and abuse commited against them.
As for hip hop culture, that is definitely not black culture. In my own case, we have our own culture to turn to in the struggle to stand up, and together with our treaty rights, it seems to be working. But it'll take generations to recover from a genocide that ran for centuries, and we will not heal overnight. I imagine that the blacks are going through this exact same process.
Not all blacks subscrube to it nor should they be expected to, however the ones that do subscribe to a culture that promotes misogyny, violence, and promiscuity.
While your rant about the evil white man brings a tear to my ear, it is not even in the top 5 for reasons why blacks in America are lagging behind by almost every measurable parameter.
That is the biggest problem we are going to have to deal with if we want true progress. An acknowledgement of slavery is prudent but one cant simply look and say "oh that's the reason"
