Roll to Dodge- Gameroom Edition [Concluded]

(Thanks to Seon for the concept, the rules, and his blessing for me to run this installment of the game. You can play Roll to Dodge on CFC in one of these two threads.)
The rules are simple:
1. Post an action.
2. I will roll one of my trusty six sided dice and tell you the outcome of your action.

If, by some odd twist of fate, something is flying towards you, you get a free roll to dodge it. If you die, you lose the game. You win if everybody else is dead.

Here is how the die rolls work out:
1- Epic failure. You actually take the exact opposite action.
2- Failure.
3- Marginal success.
4- Success.
5- Perfect success.
6- Overshot.

You can virtually do anything, but be careful since you have a 50% chance of screwing it up. If you post multiple actions at once, only the first action will be taken. This will disregard all other actions and intent. Twisted Evil

Also, if you attempt to take an action without an intermediate action (example, you try to wear a shirt you are not carrying) the action auto-fails. You can't take the same action twice in a row, and only the first action you submit before I post the results of every bodies actions will be resolved.
ANYTHING GOES, so be creative!
Example:
You all are trapped inside a jail cell. What do you do
Player 1: I take out my laser cutter and cut through the bars
Me: Automatic 2: You rummage around in your pockets for the nonexistent laser cutter. You trip and fall on someone's foot.
Roll to dodge for Player two: 3
You manage to pull out most of your leg, but your toes got crushed.

Player Two: UGH! I kick Player 1 in the face.
Me: 6: You jump up and seem to levitate over the Player 1. You execute a perfect flip, your toes just brushing the roof, and snap one leg forward in time to connect with Player1's face. The force of your kick makes the room explode. People go flying out the cell. Roll to Dodge[5]. Everyone miraculously missed the glass of water.

Easy? Now go and play.
Starting situation: You all start in a dark, cramped box. You can't see anything, but you feel uncomfortably dizzy.

Players: 0/15
Askthepizzaguy
150 HP
Inventory
None.
Commendations
Vendetta-inducer.
Double A
65 HP
Inventory
None.
Commendations
No uber-skillz at Roll to Dodge (automatic re-roll of next six)
Chaotix
140 HP
Inventory
None
Commendations
Vendetta against Joooray (must attack Chaotix until either of them die)
Joooray
30 HP
Inventory
Re-rolling device.
Commendations
Has dibs (is the only one that can pick up items for one more turn).
Vendetta against Chaotix (must attack Chaotix until either them die)
Bleeding (minus 10 HP per turn until healed.)
Khazaar
150 HP
Inventory
None.
Commendations
Found the lightswitch
Beskar
150 HP
Inventory
None.
Commendations
Jedi.
Abilities
Force Lightning
Winston Hughes
100 HP
Inventory
HP-Restoring lunch.
Commendations
Wannabe dinosaur rider.
Subdued the dinosaur- +1 next turn to any roll involving the dinosaur.

NPCs:
Dinosaur
Winston Hughes' adversary.
Allegiance: Not Winston Hughes.
Subdued- More likely to do Winston Hughes' bidding.
Guard
The best security guy in the county.
Allegiance: Not you.

I'll join to support this effort. I have never played before, though!

I don't really understand how this is going to work, but it sounds like fun, so I'll join.
Also the threads over at CFC are hilarious.

How long is this planned to take or is it open end until everyone but one is still alive? And is it possible to join at any time?

In.

I search for a lightswitch...

Why not?

In.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

I don't really understand how this is going to work, but it sounds like fun, so I'll join.
Also the threads over at CFC are hilarious.

How long is this planned to take or is it open end until everyone but one is still alive? And is it possible to join at any time?

---

It goes until only one player is left, and yes, you can join any time.
Now, remember players, you must post your actions if you want to play.

I look for pills to get rid of the dizziness.

Using a Swiss Army Knife, Duct-tape and the other items around me, I construct an item which would save me in a life or death situation.

But doesn't that give an unfair advantage to those that join later. Or are you going to balance that? (I hope I don't sound to whiny :sweatdrop: )
BTW: I was wondering why you use a 6-sided dice and not a 20-sided like they do at CFC?
---

My action:
I'm going to tickle Beskar until he let's go of his device and then steal it from him. :7ninja:

I pack myself a lunch consisting of refried cow leather, consolidated bacon grease with extra rock salt, extra-crunchy birch bark, a pound of buckshot, twelve cuban cigars, and a Forty ounce of malt liquor.

Ok, this won't take much time... I have nothing to do from 7 to 7:20 (am). Not enough time to do much of anything besides eat, really...

I develop über 1337 skillz at roll to dodge.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

But doesn't that give an unfair advantage to those that join later. Or are you going to balance that? (I hope I don't sound to whiny :sweatdrop: )
BTW: I was wondering why you use a 6-sided dice and not a 20-sided like they do at CFC?

---

Well, it kind of does, which is why on CFC they give you extra HP for joining earlier. Since everyone has 100 HP, people who join in the first two rounds get 150 instead of 100.
And, about the die, the first four Roll to Dodges were with 6-sided dice. I started with that just so you can be introduced to the setup. If this goes well, the next will probably use a twenty-sided die.
Update commencing!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Khazaar

I search for a lightswitch...

---

(3): You find one, and you turn on the light. You find yourself in what appears to be a giant cardboard box.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I look for pills to get rid of the dizziness.

---

(4): You find pills and take them, giving you +1 to your next roll.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

Using a Swiss Army Knife, Duct-tape and the other items around me, I construct an item which would save me in a life or death situation.

---

(3): You manage to construct a machine which allows you to re-do any previous roll. Unfortunately, it needs batteries as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

My action:
I'm going to tickle Beskar until he let's go of his device and then steal it from him. :7ninja:

---

(4): Beskar squeals and backs away, while you steal the device. With your mad tickling skills, you knock 2 HP out of him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

I pack myself a lunch consisting of refried cow leather, consolidated bacon grease with extra rock salt, extra-crunchy birch bark, a pound of buckshot, twelve cuban cigars, and a Forty ounce of malt liquor.

---

(5): The lunch is now in your inventory! Eating it will restore 20 HP, and you may eat it as a free action. (However, you may not exceed your maximum HP value, which is currently 150. So, if you eat it with less than 20 HP lost, you are restored just to 150.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Double A

I develop über 1337 skillz at roll to dodge.

---

(2): You fail. Now, the next time you roll a six, the die will re-roll until you get a five or lower.

I lose the game.

I radiate waves of raw manliness from my body, to cause the cardboard box to disintegrate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Double A

I lose the game.

---

We are rather a man of extremes, are we not? :laugh4:

Anyway, I call dips on anything we find outside the box.

I pull Joooray's pants down infront of a girl he fancies, but too shy to confront, totally embarrassing him and makes her laugh at him.

I get into mah pickup truck and run over Double A, for trying to outclever the game host.

I search for my trusty machete...

I transform into a dinosaur of some kind.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I radiate waves of raw manliness from my body, to cause the cardboard box to disintegrate.

---

(5+1=6): The box becomes a pile of useless powder. You find yourself on a ship. The guard, noticing this, fires at you with his shotgun.
ROLL TO DODGE! (3): You barely avoid his shot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

Anyway, I call dips on anything we find outside the box.

---

(6): The other players acknowledge your dibs so severely, that they can't collect any more items for three turns.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I pull Joooray's pants down infront of a girl he fancies, but too shy to confront, totally embarrassing him and makes her laugh at him.

---

(5): Joooray is so embarrassed that he gets -1 to his next roll.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

I get into mah pickup truck and run over Double A, for trying to outclever the game host.

---

(3): You cause some minor damage for -10 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khazaar

I search for my trusty machete...

---

(4): You find it, however, you are unable to claim it, as Joooray has dibs.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I transform into a dinosaur of some kind.

---

(1): A dinosaur appears out of nowhere to crush you.
ROLL TO DODGE! (3): You barely avoid his foot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Double A

I lose the game.

---

(4): You wipe out half of your HP.

Pull a pin on a grenade outside the box which causes Joooray to come over immediately, saying he called dibs on, and pockets it.

I use my manly-vision to blast the guard into the water.

I locate the nearest weapons crate and take out everything I can carry, including a pin for my newly acquired grenade.

I attempt to ride the dinosaur.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I attempt to ride the dinosaur.

---

This is why I am playing this game. Because there is, ostensibly, going to be some attempt to whack the other players, thus resulting in some winner, but certain people are more interested in getting themselves injured.... for the yuks.

I am enjoying.

Right, an action:

I use my incredible mafia argument skills to direct Joooray and Chaotix into attacking each other instead of me. They find me very not suspicious now, and find each other incredibly scummy, and wish to kill each other.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

Right, an action:

I use my incredible mafia argument skills to direct Joooray and Chaotix into attacking each other instead of me. They find me very not suspicious now, and find each other incredibly scummy, and wish to kill each other.

---

Is that your way of telling me (and Chaotix for that matter), one shouldn't trust you in Hyrule-Mafia, eh?! :laugh4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

Is that your way of telling me (and Chaotix for that matter), one shouldn't trust you in Hyrule-Mafia, eh?! :laugh4:

---

No, Joooray, I am aware you guys all read both threads. :laugh4:

My sense of humor isn't that sick, okay?

I´ll throw Joorays dibs Machete to him, blade first! After all it´s his...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

Pull a pin on a grenade outside the box which causes Joooray to come over immediately, saying he called dibs on, and pockets it.

---

(6): He pockets it, and it explodes for -30HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I use my manly-vision to blast the guard into the water.

---

(2): You stare intently at him, but nothing happens. He decides to fire at you again.
ROLL TO DODGE! (4): The guard misses.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

I locate the nearest weapons crate and take out everything I can carry, including a pin for my newly acquired grenade.

---

(1): You find a crate full of bombs counting down from five... four...
ROLL TO DODGE! (1): You can't get out of the way, and your arm is blown off, knocking away 75 HP, and leaving you bleeding (-10 HP per turn) until healed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I attempt to ride the dinosaur.

---

(1): You hop on the dinosaur's back, and it bucks you off for -50 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

Right, an action:

I use my incredible mafia argument skills to direct Joooray and Chaotix into attacking each other instead of me. They find me very not suspicious now, and find each other incredibly scummy, and wish to kill each other.

---

(6): You succeed! All of Joooray and Choatix's action will now automatically be vetoed unless they involve attacking one another. They can't stop until one of them is dead.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khazaar

I´ll throw Joorays dibs Machete to him, blade first! After all it´s his...

---

(6): Joooray gets another -25 HP, leaving him with only 20 HP left.

I mediate and learn the powers of the force, becoming a Jedi.

I attempt to hypnotise the dinosaur, such that it will do my bidding from now on.

Alright, that's it for me I guess, you people are mean. :sad:

Anyway, I turn into a vampire and suck the life out of Chaotix which will also heal me at the same time, while taking the batteries he has in his pocket.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I attempt to hypnotise the dinosaur, such that it will do my bidding from now on.

---

I give Winston Hughes my packed lunch out of sheer gratitude for this display of awesome.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

I give Winston Hughes my packed lunch out of sheer gratitude for this display of awesome.

---

Thanks. :beam:

Believe it or not, I actually won Roll to Dodge 4.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

Engraged with Alan for his lacklustre service, I convert my engine to run on anger and other such negative emotions.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I look around to find a copy of every red-blooded Monster Truck's favourite x-rated comic book - The Erotic Adventures of Suzi BigWheels. Even a momentary glimpse of the carnal depravity depicted on its cover will be enough to get my motor running.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I use the giant leeches to create a living suit of armour for myself, which can not only protect me against attack, but also allows me to leech other people's health if they dare come close to me.

---

And that is probably why you win. Who wants to kill the guy making everyone laugh?

That's why gratuitous jokes in mafia games is scummy. Right Kagemusha?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

And that is probably why you win. Who wants to kill the guy making everyone laugh?

---

Actually, I won because everyone got nuked, and I was lucky with the dice roll. Plenty of people tried to kill me, as I recall.

I rub garlic all over myself and then tackle vampire-Jooray.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I rub garlic all over myself and then tackle vampire-Jooray.

---

Should I grab my camera? :eyebrows:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I mediate and learn the powers of the force, becoming a Jedi.

---

(4): You enter the loyal council of the Jedi. You can now use Force Lightning to attack other players.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I attempt to hypnotise the dinosaur, such that it will do my bidding from now on.

---

(3): The dinosaur is momentarily transfixed, but only for one roll. Any roll involving the dinosaur will get +1 next turn.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

Anyway, I turn into a vampire and suck the life out of Chaotix which will also heal me at the same time, while taking the batteries he has in his pocket.

---

(5): You stop bleeding and steal 20 HP from him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

I give Winston Hughes my packed lunch out of sheer gratitude for this display of awesome.

---

(5): Winston now has the lunch.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I rub garlic all over myself and then tackle vampire-Jooray.

---

(3): You steal 10 of your missing HP back.

I feed ATPG's packed lunch to the dinosaur, thus winning its everlasting trust and friendship.

I do not fear the dark side as you do, Beskar. I will bring peace, security, and justice to my new Empire.

I train under Palpatine and learn the ways of the Sith.

I use Force Lightning on AskthePizzaGuy.

Sorry dear Pizza, did I forget to tell you I implemented the Rule of One?

I summon Jar Jar Binks from the depths of the sea to counteract the Force.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I use Force Lightning on AskthePizzaGuy.

Sorry dear Pizza, did I forget to tell you I implemented the Rule of One?

---

I think you should automatically get a penalty to your roll. You said to train as a "Jedi".... the Rule of One doesn't mean anything if you're a Jedi.

I hide under a small cardboard box and become invisible...

I shoot laser from my pointy teeth at Chaotix and finally pick up those batteries.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy

I think you should automatically get a penalty to your roll. You said to train as a "Jedi".... the Rule of One doesn't mean anything if you're a Jedi.

---

This is a new rule, the rule of only person with Force Powers in the game.

Update coming tomorrow. In the meantime, would anyone be able to take over ATPG's character? Someone that's not already playing?

I would like to take over ATPG's character.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I feed ATPG's packed lunch to the dinosaur, thus winning its everlasting trust and friendship.

---

(3+1=4): The dinosaur is now yours to control.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lord of Lent

I do not fear the dark side as you do, Beskar. I will bring peace, security, and justice to my new Empire.
I train under Palpatine and learn the ways of the Sith.

---

(1): Palpatine smites you for -25 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I use Force Lightning on AskthePizzaGuy.
Sorry dear Pizza, did I forget to tell you I implemented the Rule of One?

---

(4): Lord of Lent is hit for another -25HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I summon Jar Jar Binks from the depths of the sea to counteract the Force.

---

(6): "Mesa here!" Jar-Jar Binks is now your ally! He then tries to hurt Joooray.
ROLL TO DODGE FOR JOOORAY! (1): Joooray is down to 5 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khazaar

I hide under a small cardboard box and become invisible...

---

(2): The guard drags you out from under the box. Oh, and he shoots at you.
ROLL TO DODGE! (5): You run away from his shot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

I shoot laser from my pointy teeth at Chaotix and finally pick up those batteries.

---

(1): Jar-Jar blocks your teeth-laser. The absorption of the laser gives Jar-Jar +1 to attacking.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I feed ATPG's packed lunch to the dinosaur, thus winning its everlasting trust and friendship.

---

(3+1=4): The dinosaur is now yours to control.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lord of Lent

I do not fear the dark side as you do, Beskar. I will bring peace, security, and justice to my new Empire.
I train under Palpatine and learn the ways of the Sith.

---

(1): Palpatine smites you for -25 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I use Force Lightning on AskthePizzaGuy.
Sorry dear Pizza, did I forget to tell you I implemented the Rule of One?

---

(4): Lord of Lent is hit for another -25HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I summon Jar Jar Binks from the depths of the sea to counteract the Force.

---

(6): "Mesa here!" Jar-Jar Binks is now your ally! He then tries to hurt Joooray.
ROLL TO DODGE FOR JOOORAY! (1): Joooray is down to 5 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khazaar

I hide under a small cardboard box and become invisible...

---

(2): The guard drags you out from under the box. Oh, and he shoots at you.
ROLL TO DODGE! (5): You run away from his shot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

I shoot laser from my pointy teeth at Chaotix and finally pick up those batteries.

---

(1): Jar-Jar blocks your teeth-laser. The absorption of the laser gives Jar-Jar +1 to attacking.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

I feed ATPG's packed lunch to the dinosaur, thus winning its everlasting trust and friendship.

---

(3+1=4): The dinosaur is now yours to control.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lord of Lent

I do not fear the dark side as you do, Beskar. I will bring peace, security, and justice to my new Empire.
I train under Palpatine and learn the ways of the Sith.

---

(1): Palpatine smites you for -25 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

I use Force Lightning on AskthePizzaGuy.
Sorry dear Pizza, did I forget to tell you I implemented the Rule of One?

---

(4): Lord of Lent is hit for another -25HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chaotix

I summon Jar Jar Binks from the depths of the sea to counteract the Force.

---

(6): "Mesa here!" Jar-Jar Binks is now your ally! He then tries to hurt Joooray.
ROLL TO DODGE FOR JOOORAY! (1): Joooray is down to 5 HP.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Khazaar

I hide under a small cardboard box and become invisible...

---

(2): The guard drags you out from under the box. Oh, and he shoots at you.
ROLL TO DODGE! (5): You run away from his shot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Joooray

I shoot laser from my pointy teeth at Chaotix and finally pick up those batteries.

---

(1): Jar-Jar blocks your teeth-laser. The absorption of the laser gives Jar-Jar +1 to attacking.

Triple post, not bad. :laugh4:

I tell Jar Jar to attack Winston's dinosaur.

I use my argumentation skills so the guard thinks he's Jackie Chan and bribe him to join my side.

I send the dinosaur to stomp/claw/munch everybody except me.

I disarm the guard and take his assault rifle.

Sorry for this being that late:
Anyway, I'll scream "Chaooooootix", fall to my knees and die.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Winston Hughes

Thanks. :beam:

Believe it or not, I actually won Roll to Dodge 4.

---

I remember that. I was the one who created the bomb. It had a faulty detonator so it would go off whenever I rolled a 1. I immediately journeyed to a nuke shelter.

My final action was: "I roll a 1."

BUt of course. I forgot to close the frigging door...

Edit: Oh, and check out the gameroom assembly yard if you want your brain cauterized even further.

I return to the game in an amazing explosion of glory and awe, damaging everyone but me.

I use the Force Lightning on the Dinosaur's jiggly bits, which makes it roar in pain, and it attack the nearest person. (Winston Hughthom)

Amendment to my orders:
I bore to death!! :rolleyes:

Any chance you are continuing this, ll?

Eh, I got tired of it. Sorry, all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by landlubber

Eh, I got tired of it. Sorry, all.

---

You can join this one instead...

Beskar presses the 'I Win' button.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beskar

Beskar presses the 'I Win' button.

---

Fortunately it was a decoy and Joooray was set up for the win from the beginning. After all it was still professional wrestling.

Winston rides his dinosaur off into the sunset.

And into my own game? :P

Seriously, 4 people rtd is boring. 7 is the ideal number.