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Okay, who's ready for the beginning of the end?
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...970c-550wi.jpg
Here's a handy guide to Saturday's rapture.
More importantly, here's post-rapture petcare. You wouldn't want your pet iguana dying of dehydration just because you're been united with the Heavenly Father, would you?
A question directed to the Christians - Can I get your stuff when you go?
we are now in countdown to the backpedaling.
Didn't Jesus say he'll come unexpected like a thief in the night?
not sure which is more shocking: Jesus knows ninjitsu or Jesus is a cat-burgler.
just in case I replied "attending" to this Facebook Event:
Post rapture looting
Location
Everywhere
Yeah, I seem to remember that being a repeated theme in the Bible- you don't know when the end is coming, so you should be your best at all times. It kind of makes me wonder what bibles these people are reading where they can find the date and time....Quote:
Originally Posted by Husar
Well the USA has a bit of a pet tradition of predicting the next Great Disappointment and keeping the legacy of Miller alive.
They're probably working from some protestant fundie/loon re-write.Quote:
Originally Posted by Xiahou
if they can make up a concept as the rapture, that has no real biblical support, then making up a date is easy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Xiahou
Dang it. My luck I'll probably hit the Mega Millions lottery tonight. Oh well, make sure y'all have clean underwear on for tomorrow.~:wacko:
Apparently the guy got the date from multiplying three Biblically significant numbers together (3/7/12 IIRC), then multiplying that by two, and adding that onto the number of days from Jesus death on the cross. Because that is obviously when the rapture must be, for some reason...
Like I said, Protestant Loons....
ahh... I want a rapture with cheese please :clown:
Well it's tomorrow in New Zealand already so he must be wrong so
Gah! So much for my hope then of ever seeing Navaros return here. :shame:Quote:
Saturday is the Rapture
Rapture is absolute nonsense I can't believe people believe that cr
There's going to be at least one disappointed 89 year old uber Christian living in South California... he said he was going to spend the day watching the news to make sure anything happens, and I thought to myself "isn't that what every 89 old man does pretty much every day, anyways?"
Has it happened yet?
Well, if it has and we're still here that means...I'm off to the liquor store to help meself.Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
Only one huh, I simply don't have the time it's not possibleQuote:
Originally Posted by Samurai Waki
edit oh RAPTURE
He left during a previous rapture.Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat
Is the world over yet?
Well according to a podcast I listen to. IF the Rapture happens today, the actual final battle and fiery doom is October 21st.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veho Nex
Maybe it's already happened, and there was simply no one who qualified . . .
Ajax
Looks like it is starting in Iceland.
I feel neglected. I'm still here.
What's that bloody god of theirs going to do now?
I'm trembling like a puppy, help me!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13468131 -News Link
Can we give up these stupid arguments that such a thing exists yet?
So. I assume it didn't happen?
I celebrated the rapture by running a 5K and then gardening. :grin: I can't wait to hear the backpedaling. "Oh, wait! I did the math wrong. The rapture is going to be NEXT year..."
Gah to all you naysayers! It was the rapture that has happened, not the Apocalypse.
We shall now need a list of everybody who has posted here in the past few months. Then we shall have to compare this with the list of everybody who's going to posting this week, to see who are missing.
Then I'm going to go over each of their posts to study them carefully. They were right and we were wrong. There must be lessons in the writings they've left us. It might not be too late. The Apocalypse is only this October, there might still be time! Repent repent repent ye sinners!
ANYBODY SEEN OR HEARD FROM RHYFELWYR? TUFFSTUFF? THAT 'FIRST CAUSE GOD EVIDENCE' GUY FROM LAST WEEK?
The velocirapture is upon us.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AWl8IAl-LM...ocirapture.jpg
I actually considered going to the "Backpedal Party" they were putting on in Tacoma for this thing, then I decided it wasn't interesting enough for me to warrant the three hour drive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scienter
And we shall assemble the lessons; be it that each book be named after it's author; that inscription and transcription of these learned words be without taint; The Rapture Louis VI the Fat edition...available in a motel nightstand near youQuote:
Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat
Hah!
You all thought he was wrong, didn't you? Well, who's laughing now?!
Man, it sure is great here up in heaven. The food is wonderful, the women heavenly, the temperature soothing. I almost feel sorry that you guys are left on earth, but then I snap out of it as two angels with skimpy outfits give me a backrub. So long, folks!
...You get wifi in heaven? Best. Afterlife. Ever.
I haven't seen PVC or Rhywlyr around in the thread... perhaps they are with the creator in Ever Lasting Paradise?Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychonaut
Well, I woke up this morning - which to be honest, was a surprise - and since I didn't have any plans for today, spent some time watching the well-known evangelist Peter Cook.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ...eature=related
Logs indicate both were active last night.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beskar
Well, who's to say you couldn't VPN or RDC into a local computer from paradise? If the Heavenly Father has moved to IP6 (and there's no reason to think he hasn't) it would be quite simple to give every angel in Heaven a unique IP address. The rest is simplicity itself.
-edit-
I guess the unRapture is official. Dang.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZQ5zC9mG5Q
Also, a decent survey of what happens to sects when the Apocalypse doesn't come on time.
Even without this sacred disclaimer, it's easy enough for a believer to reinterpret and revise the details of a prediction so that it fits whatever facts are on the ground. The research literature is littered with such examples. When atomic energy didn't sweep over the Earth to herald the Second Coming on Christmas Day 1967, the Universal Link group cheerfully reinterpreted their prophecy as pertaining to a spiritual force, rather than a physical effect. When flying saucers never announced their presence to humankind in 1976, the Unarian sect gently reworked its prophecy to refer more broadly to some point in "the future," while blaming limited human minds for misunderstanding the aliens' grand plan. When a Pentecostal group led by the God-channelling housewife Mrs. Shepard emerged after more than a month from self-built fallout shelters, they were pleased that the divinely ordained nuclear holocaust had not come to pass—and grateful for having passed a test of their faith.
No of course there's no wifi there is nobody to sell it to youQuote:
Originally Posted by Greyblades
But on the upside there will be actual techies there to make it work.
Was just trying to ruin his expectations and hope of a future, what do I care if there's wifi there or not I intent to reign in hell
I think you will find it is spelled "Rhyfelwr". :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat
Well you're not even trying. :stare:Quote:
Originally Posted by Beskar
So I got raptured last night. It was pretty cool and all, walking around on clouds and stuff. God's got quite a few jokes I can tell he was saving up just for the end of the world. There were plenty of parties but none of them had any substance that could get you drunk or high. There was no electricity and no computers. I walked up to god, hearing that he was a reasonable fellow, and asked if I could goto hell to see what it looks like down there. He wrote me a 6 hour visitor pass and I went and hung out with Lucifer. Hell was no better I swear it felt like it was 500 degrees. So when I got back to heaven I told god, "Yo man, this is cool and all, but I'd really like to go back down to Earth and enjoy its last 5 months. Is it ok if i do that and you can just rapture me right before you blow it up?" He nodded his head and said, "It shall be done my man, give my props to Harold Camping when you get down there. That fool convinced millions of people to believe in the dumbest thing I ever heard of. I pitied him so I pulled a few of you guys up. Remember dude, what happens in heaven, stays in heaven, ya dig?"
With a blinding flash I was back on Earth with a beer in hand. God is pretty cool guy, eh, starts a false rapture and doesn't afraid of anything.
Gah! You've sneak-changed your name from Rhyfelwyr to Rhyfelwr just recently! :furious3:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwr
To be exact, on 22:16, 04-26-11! Dangit, and there I was, priding myself that I was the only Orgah who would consistently spell your name correctly. ~:mecry:
WAS THE NAME CHANGE IN ANTICIPATION OF THE RAPTURE
WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT WE DON'T WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM US HAVE YOU PRODDIES BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG WE NEED TO KNOW
I would like to confirm I was *not* raptured, nor was anyone I know.
We are all sorely dissapointed, though as someone pointed out, if Camping was right the End would finally come just before the new academic year, so before we finish out PhD's.
Guys i found out why Rapture didn't happen.
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._1232719_n.jpg
Machoman Randy Savage killed himself to stop Jesus and God
not even god could handle the MADNESS of Macho Man Randy Savage!!!!
RIP.
Can't say it doesn't leave a disappointing taste in your mouth..
Bit like Horlicks.
i guess you guys didnt buy a t-shirt either...
I did actuallyQuote:
Originally Posted by The Stranger
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ureVeteran.jpg
Why multiply by two?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwr
He didn't. Rhy's math skillz are failing, it wasn't multiplication of two(x2), it was squaring the answer(^2).
So, the calculation was (5x10x17)^2. Why did he square the product of the first calculation? No idea. But I guess he did it simply to get a bigger number, one that would "fit".
Atonement x atonement x completeness x completeness x heaven x heaven = Doomsday. Perfectly logical....
idk I couldn't remember what he did. None of it made any sense. Who knows why he even picked the number he did. There are other biblically significant numbers. He forgot 40. So he has to multiply his answer by 40 to find the real date! :idea2:
Here in Dutchieland we know what really happened. http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/1494..._nog_zijn.html
(afgesloten means closed)
I've just had a thought. I can't remember a thing on Saturday night after 22:00 hrs. I think I might have been raptured. (ouch!)
On the other hand it might have been a combination of Grolsch, Chardonnay and some evil smelling tobacco/green stuff that makes me dizzy when I smoke it.
Maybe.
I know it isn't sporting to beat a man when he's down, but I continue to see comedy potential in this:
The man who said the world was going to end appeared at his front door in Alameda a day later, very much alive but not so well.
"It has been a really tough weekend," said Harold Camping, the 89-year-old fundamentalist radio preacher who convinced hundreds of his followers that the rapture would occur on Saturday at 6 p.m. [...]
"I'm looking for answers," Camping said, adding that meant frequent prayer and consultations with friends.
"But now I have nothing else to say," he said, closing the door to his home. "I'll be back to work Monday and will say more then."
Camping's followers will surely be listening.
"I'm not as disappointed as everyone since I didn't fully believe him," said one, who asked to remain anonymous Sunday because he worried he would be shunned for admitting he was "upset" with Camping.
The middle-aged Oakland resident said he'd been listening to Camping since 1993, when he said the world would end in 1994.
That was strike one, the man said. And this is strike two. Even so, he said, that doesn't mean the message is wrong.
"I just know he's biblically sound," the man said. "I've never been one of these guys who think everything he says is true.
"I don't think I am going to stop listening to him," the man added, heaving a deep sigh before continuing: "I don't know, I gotta listen to him on Monday, see what he says on the radio."
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Of course you can, shove a feeding tube down its throat
the fact that theyre all dancing out there makes it seem as if they actually did for a second doubt their own beliefs and are now so happy that the priest has been proven wrong... if not it cant be anything else but gloating and that would be just sad...Quote:
People in a partying mood, including performing artists the Phenomenauts, gather in front of the closed Family Radio station offices of radio evangelist Harold Camping, to celebrate irreverently, the non-destruction of the world predicted by Camping, Saturday in Oakland.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...#ixzz1NCAfzirU
not another feeding tube religion debate......Quote:
Originally Posted by Veho Nex
some of these people are kinda brain dead...but that might be taking it too far! :P
Braindead Ronin, braindeadQuote:
Originally Posted by Ronin
https://vid558.photobucket.com/album...player=offsite This still cracks me up... it's so reminiscent of Sunday School growing up (Except for whatever reason; Catholic "Sunday School" Fell on a Wednesday).
Apparently we are all going to get an explanation.
The Christian radio host who predicted the world would end over the weekend said Monday he's ready to talk about why the apocalypse didn't arrive. [...] "I will have more to say tonight," said Camping, a retired civil engineer who previously maintained there was no possibility the Rapture would not occur at 6 p.m. Saturday. "I will be putting out a message in our broadcast." [...]
Gunther Von Harringa, who heads a religious organization that produces content for Camping's media enterprise, said he was "very surprised" the Rapture did not happen as predicted, but said he and other believers were in good spirits.
"We're still searching the Scriptures to understand why it did not happen," said Von Harringa, president of Bible Ministries International, which he operates from his home in Delaware, Ohio. "It's just a matter of OK, Lord, where do we go from here?"
Hallelujah
I almost got Raptured. But then I found out that God doesn't allow WiFi in heaven, so I passed.
Would be pretty hilarious if only HoreTore was the forum member which got Raptured.
You have to admit it, it would.
Whoops, turns out it's in October!
CRQuote:
OAKLAND, Calif. – As crestfallen followers of a California preacher who foresaw the world's end strained to find meaning in their lives, Harold Camping revised his apocalyptic prophecy Monday, saying he was off by five months because the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.
...
Camping, who made a special appearance before the press at the Oakland headquarters of the media empire Monday evening, apologized for not having the dates "worked out as accurately as I could have." Through chatting with a friend over what he acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, the light dawned on him that instead of the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, May 21 had instead been a "spiritual" Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ's judgment, he said.
The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God's judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there's no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.
"We've always said May 21 was the day, but we didn't understand altogether the spiritual meaning," he said. "The fact is there is only one kind of people who will ascend into heaven ... if God has saved them they're going to be caught up."
Between true believers for eternity, would be too cruel a fateQuote:
Originally Posted by Beskar
did anyone check on the mormons? im pretty sure southpark said they are the only people who get into heaven, and southpark is always true!Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
Oh, come on. Normally you are the first to admit that the only thing you have for the true believers is mockery: surely there is no need to go easy on them after the rapture?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
It's Horetore it would be true cruel a fate for him. Personally I find the mental image of Horetore being in heaven, forever being surrounded by an hallelujah chanting mob incredibly amusing. Heaven as the 8th circle of hell.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tellos Athenaios
I'm wondering if you can place a bet on the world ending in October. If it doesn't end, you're quids in, if it does then it doesn't really matter cos your dead.
Almost a win-win. :laugh4:
gamblers go to hell... so its still win-lose XD
Is gambling a sin?
If it is, my plans just gone down the Swanee. Bugger.
Why don't you find outQuote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache