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According to today's Times, there is a website where you can rent a German. And its true: http://www.rentagerman.de
So, the obvious question, what uses can patrons think of for a rented German? (In the case of the Times, filling up an 800 word article on a slow news day it seems).
And what might we rent other nationalities for?
- from the testimonials.Quote:
“It was awesome! Having a German at the office for a week was a huge success! Since then, my relationship with my co-workers has improved big time! I’ll definitely do it again- It was, like, “oh my god, this is so it!”
Adam G., 48 (San Francisco)
Good golly. People from San Francisco never cease to live up to their reputations (no, not the gay rep. just the 'being weird' one).
Hmmm ... just had a session
at the dentist that will
result in a hefty bill
:thinking2:
...
...
...
ca. 1000 EUR payment a day
just for being a German
:thinking2:
...
...
...
:idea:
This is heaven-sent :wideeyed: :greedy:
Now I just need some mor... uhm ... customers :sneaky: :deal:
I'd like to rent a French woman to teach me to speak filthily to American men over here.
Hmm, I am trying to see how having a German in the office for a week could improve your relationship with your co-workers, but all of my theories are uncharitable to Germans so I shall desist...
If you were going on holiday a German could be quite handy for bagging the sun loungers for you? And if I suddenly found myself running the nation's railways I would certainly rent a German, assuming that is there were no Swiss available.
I remember someone on this board mentioning a stereotype about Germans that involved (beach?) towels. Can anyone fill me in?
I thought it was Ser Clegane, but am not really sure.
I think it was towel-in-chair-to-indicate-'reserved' syndrome. ~:)
I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.
But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem.
Thanks.
And if you don't mind paying in Jack Daniels, I think you could easily land a Japanese gentlemen.
I've rented A.Saturnus years ago. That's why he had to leave the backroom.
Indeed - and it is a very "special" issue between German and English tourists ~:)Quote:
Originally Posted by KukriKhan
Well, anyone can see what use you had for someone of my profession, BP.Quote:
Originally Posted by Byzantine Prince
I suppose a rented German could show me the secret to always being punctual. Also, how to chug seven beers in only a few minutes and not throw up (did anyone else see that episode of Sin Cities?).
I think that I would prefer a Belgian to a German...
I don't know, renting a German might be annoying.. depending on the wrong one, knowing my luck I'd get stuck with one that loves listening to David Hasselhoff Music.
:brood:Quote:
Originally Posted by Wazikashi
This is so not funny...
Sorry... I did not mean to offend :bow:
Hehe, no problem - this was meant jokingly. I just remember being on a training with several people from the UK who kept reminding me how successful Hasselhoff had been in Germany.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wazikashi
The not funny part about it is that it is the terrible truth :help:
lol, I just watched too much Norm McDonald on SNL as a kid. I always just thought it was a farce.
There would indeed, you'll only get an Englishman if you are paying in beer. This would not be ideal if you wanted any work done, although I suppose you could also rent a German, give them each a towel, put one and only one sunlounger in your garden, and stand back and watch the fun develop.Quote:
I'd like to Rent-a-Dutchman to teach me database management, and Rent-a-Japanese to teach me how to draw/animate.
But I only pay wages in beer, so there might be a problem
We've got plenty, what would you need one for ?Quote:
Originally Posted by King Malcolm
Well...if you Germans are lucky Steven Seagal might become as big in France, as Hasselhoff is in Germany. He released an album, and only in France ~:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ser Clegane
http://www.neijia.net/neijia/obrazy/...al/okladka.jpg
http://www.neijia.net/neijia/obrazy/...gal/seagal.jpg
Just to be Belgian would suffice, nothing fancy... Oh, if they could bring chocolate, too...Quote:
Originally Posted by doc_bean
Owkay, what language should they speak, we come in Dutch, French and German speaking versions.Quote:
Originally Posted by King Malcolm
Maybe I should start a 'rent a Belgian' site ~:cheers:
Rent a Belgian? You'd better not rent this cheap rip-off of a Dutchman, if I were you I'd stick with the tried and true original ~;)
Please pay in beer and/or verified European valuta
And I sure hope it stays that way :stare:Quote:
Originally Posted by Krusader
BTW, I wonder if you can hire a specific type of German? I don't want a lazy Bavarian -- I want a reliable Saupreuss! ~D
We make better beer, end of discussion ~:cheers:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Wizard
I agree that compensates almost all the way for the rest.
Almost.
No problem. Us Germans take payment in beer, and the Dutchies probably would to, if they're anything like us.Quote:
Originally Posted by KukriKhan
Hey, nowadays the Preißen are the lazy ones, Bavaria is the driving force of German economy.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Wizard
I don't know about payment in beer - I would take payment in spirits - especially if you had some Absinth or meths lying around
No, we would defenitely go for money, not beer. Money. We love money. We're Dutch.Quote:
Originally Posted by evil_maniac from mars
Why money?
So we can BUY beer.
No, so we invest it in business practices to get even more money! ~D
Good grief... I second that motion and suggest we hire a lot of Germans, Belgians, Dutch and other nationalities to repel any attempt by Steven to launch his songs in any other countries.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ser Clegane
The Americans can supply the beer as they've allowed him to produce this "music".
It does make you wonder who's next.... please god not that little Belgian, what's his name, Jean Claude Van Damme.