Voluminoso had been sitting on the docks of Constantinople for the better part of the morning. He was extremely tired. Watching his Water Faring Associates disembarking his prodigious quantities of fine mutton chops was an extenuating chore and he felt as though his energies were totally drained.

Calling his butler, he ordered a carriage to be brought up and to lead him in the inner city to find a place to rest. The ride into the city would have been uneventful had it not been for Voluminoso’s habit of ordering his driver about, yelling at him from the side window of the carriage, parts of his flabby stomach drooping out giving him the general appearance of a squished prune.

“You should have taken the left scimmia stupida! Now you’ll get us lost! Mama mia, sono circondato dai imbeciles! No! NO! Left here! Sinistra! Are you deaf? And be careful you nearly crushed that woman! Do not force me to come up there to teach you how to drive! Riiiight! Right! Oh! Just wait until I get up there! I will crush you like an insetto!”

With great pain, Voluminoso pulled back his belly inside the carriage. He was much too tired to fight with his coach driver. There would be time for that when he arrived in some place he could eat. And he still needed to get dressed properly. He had every intention of going straight to the Emperor’s palace that evening to demand the princess’ hand. He would probably have to hire an orchestra. And maybe buy a city block or two and transform them into gardens he would gift her. And he would create the greatest mutton chop market in all of Constantinople just for her! It would be marvelous!

As the carriage was passing near a tall and richly decorated building close to the Hagia Sophia, Voluminoso forced his carriage to stop.

“This is it. Stop. Stop you headless chicken! This is my hotel can you not see it! Stop I tell you!”

The coach driver tried to explain, but Voluminoso was not listening, he had pulled out his bulging form the carriage and was walking full speed towards the Magnaura.