Paris, 1081
He was far removed from the splendor of the Tournament, the spectacle that was all that King Phillipe and his aims stood for. What was he trying to do, anyway? Show off? Well, he had certainly achieved that particular goal. Unite the nobility of France? Have them place greater faith in each other? Good luck with that, Raynaud thought. If the King's aims were truly that which he had spoken of, then he was far off the mark. After all, men, as a rule, were wicked folk and eventually, placing trust in them would prove to be a fatal mistake.
No, Raynaud de Xaintrailles was doing the real work for France, the work that needed to be done. He was placing his trust in the one figure where trust truly mattered. If all of the Conseil de Royaume simply followed his path, then France was guaranteed to prosper. Alas, of course, it was not to be. Raynaud knew better than that. The wicked and unknowing would always outnumber the God-fearing.
Still, though, Raynaud tried. While the rest of the nobles were off committing the sin of pride, he made up for it by touring the city and trying to spread the Word. When he was tired, he made his way to the nearest church and prayed.
"Lord, give me strength for the trials I face ahead. Give me strength to triumph against the world's numerous sinners and unfaithful. Give me strength to face the Conseil de Royaume and steer them in thy holy direction. I am weak, Lord. Give me the strength to do your bidding, and do your bidding I shall, with as much zeal and energy as I can possibly muster; now and later, as always. Amen."
Figuring that it was almost time to get back and get some rest before the Conseil, Raynaud prepared to depart the deserted church, but not before he saw a female figure in the doorway.
Her hesitant steps, conveying uncertainty rather than fear, brought her closer to him and into the light. She was dressed simply, yet her fine white bliaud easily marked her as nobility. Her loose curly brown hair encased her youthful visage, fraught with conflicting emotions. Biting absently on her lower lip, she glanced nervously around the church, failing to notice Raynaud.
Raynaud, however, quickly made his presence known. Somewhat grateful and relieved to see a second figure in the church, he immediately started walking towards her. Noticing her dress but not recognizing her for her exact title, Raynaud bowed and began speaking to her as an equal.
"My lady," he said, "I must admit that this is a pleasant surprise. It is not often enough that the upper class finds themselves in here after hours, humble and repentant. If I may be so bold, if only France had more God-fearing women such as yourself, then maybe the country would finally be fit to see His favor."
Bowing once more, Raynaud began to take his leave, eager for one of such a rank to begin getting divinely inspired in solitude.
"Wait!" She blurted out. "Do not leave." After a paused, she added with an imploring murmur "Please."
Raynaud turned, slightly annoyed. He had other places to be, and he wasn't sure that this woman's pleas were so he could further enlighten her on matters of religion. However, he kept this completely out of his voice. "You request something, my lady?"
"I have... I have never done this before." She seemed genuinely embarrassed, though it was hard to say if it was because of her plea or her lack of knowledge in religious matter.
Raynaud raised one eyebrow. He didn't know whether to be amused at this woman, who clearly had been brought up in a heretical family, having not educated her in the matters of religion, or happy that she was seeking salvation on her own.
"Well, my lady," he said, "As you know, this is a House of God. You can do several things here. The first one is praying, and I hope for your sake you know what that is. All you do to pray is kneel down and begin speaking, whether out loud or silently, to the Lord. You may discuss your wishes, your fears, your emotions... anything. For He will listen, and He is a benevolent listener. There is also the matter of confessing your sins, but you cannot do that without a priest to take your confession. Unfortunately, this church is sadly bereft of priests for the moment."
"Yes, I know of this, but..." She looked down, avoiding his gaze. "I have never done it alone and never have I prayed for someone else. It is because there are no priests that I turn to you."
Raynaud sighed and looked thoughtful for a moment before his expression finally changed. "Very well," he said, "I will take your confession, so long as you should keep in mind that this is no substitute for confessing to a true ordained priest. Clearly you have something pressing on your mind, and I will help you through it. After all, sinning is nothing but a disease of the heart, and I would hate for the infection to spread any further. Come, inside one of these private booths, and say what is on your mind."
Constance gave him a puzzled look, but followed him nonetheless. Once in the booth, she took a moment of silence to bolster her resolve before speaking up hesitantly.
"I wanted to go see the tournament, even if father forbade me. I was just... worried... about a... a... friend... and then... well then I came here to pray and..." With a sharp intake of breath she stopped babbling and calmed down. "I guess that, truthfully, what bothers me most is that I hate my brother and I know I shouldn't."
Raynaud considered this for a while, still unaware of the true identity of whom he was speaking to. Here was a simple girl with the standard teenage issues, nothing more, it seemed. He would have to steer this back to the Lord somehow.
"Well," he said, "You should always honor your mother and father; the Ten Commandments order us as much. Follow the Lord's commands and you will be inherently happy. And for what it's worth, the tournament is overrated and nothing more than a boastfest. I myself was invited to participate but declined because of its very nature."
He paused, considering the final part of the girl's admittance. "As for your brother, family, no matter how much we care for them, can put us off sometimes. Has there been anything in particular he has done to anger you so?"
"Every time he looks at me, every time he speaks to me, I can tell he thinks only of me as a nuisance or on the best of days, as no more than a simple animal." Her words flowed in a cool measured tone layered in resentment.
Behind the confessional screen, the girl could tell that Raynaud was staring straight at her. Clearly, the man had his opinions, that much was certain if he was who he said he was and consciously blew off the Tournament. However, here it was again, that certainty. In an age and a culture of subtlety, his clearness was both refreshing and terrifying.
"Then do something about it," he said. "Come into your own, one way or another. Just because you are a woman and do not have as much control over your destiny as I does not mean you exist at anyone's whim aside from your father's, the King's, and the Lord's."
Without a doubt, the words jolted something in her. Silence permeated the church, punctuated only by rhythmic breathing, as she tried to fully grasp what Raynaud had said. The words were not complicated, but what they proposed went contrary to her upbringing, they went contrary to what her brother expected of her. She clung to that thought, the thought of being the opposite of what her brother. Unconsciously, she realized she had already taken the first steps in her recent encounter with Alain, but she needed more. She needed to find some purpose to her life, a purpose other than being the family pawn.
Raynaud, sensing that he had struck a nerve, left the woman to her pondering and departed the church.
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