Leaving school

[Caius]

I had some "incidents" (I will explain) and I'm planning to leave school. Looks like it can be hard. I'm not really sure, but I don't have a lot to lose. How can I tell my parents that I want to leave?

[Ice]

I had some "incidents" (I will explain) and I'm planning to leave school. Looks like it can be hard. I'm not really sure, but I don't have a lot to lose. How can I tell my parents that I want to leave?

Care to elaborate a little bit why?

Although I personally don't really like this man, I find this quote very fitting:

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today”

Malcom X

I really am going to try to dissuade you from leaving school.

[Caius]

I am constantly being bullied at school.

Did you like school Ice?

[woad&fangs]

Ummm, don't you only have 1 year of school left? The choice here seems rather obvious to me

[Caius]

Ummm, don't you only have 1 year of school left? The choice here seems rather obvious to me

I can give the December exams.

[FactionHeir]

Bullying is tough. Any way you can get the counsellor, administration, police, parents involved to solve it if you already tried having a serious talk with them?

[Ice]

I am constantly being bullied at school.

Did you like school Ice?

Set an example, if you get my drift, and the bullying will be done. If you don't have the guts too, find a big burly guy, make friends with him, and everyone will leave you alone.

"A baseball bat is a great equalizer"

Yes, I do enjoy school. I'm out of the high school angst stage where I really hated school and I was just going through the motions. I really do appreciate higher education and what it's teaching me.

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

"A baseball bat is a great equalizer"

It is but on the other hand then you get into trouble... theres always a downside!

Set an example, if you get my drift, and the bullying will be done. If you don't have the guts too, find a big burly guy, make friends with him, and everyone will leave you alone.

This is really good advice, but if Caius is in his last year it could be too late for the example setting a la

The other thing that I'd like to know is what do your friends say about it Caius? Can't you rely on them? Just before I left things were actually looking up because my best mate was realy popular and he objected to my treatment!

[LeftEyeNine]

Ah. Bullying. I was being bullied too. I was a tiny kid around 1.30-40 metres tall and quite skinny during the time between 6th and 8th grades. That sure screws your days in school and puts up a serious pressure on you. However you shouldn't let it continue since you have come to a point where quitting your education would be more preferable.

Tell your parents about it this way. Mention why. Just act serious about it since parents may tend to say "hey come on, it just happens in school life"; depends on the personalities of your parents though.

I can absolutely understand how you're feeling about being bullied to an extent you can't seem to handle. However, the cost of quitting will be dear for sure in the long run and before sorting out what you can do besides quitting your education, I absolutely would like to see your bully problem to be solved rather than seeing a nice fellow Orgah like you quitting his school.

Don't quit. Talk to your parents in a serious manner. If they don't seem to understand, look for alternatives to tell about it. If you take alternative steps in case your parents don't take you serious, they'll be convinced that you're having this hard way. Leave your pride aside if you're taking asking for help because of bullying as a matter of pride; this is concerned with your very future directly.

We're listening. Keep the feedback up.

[Vuk]

Caius, please that what I say as advice from a friend. School can be hard, esp if you have people bullying you. Honestly though, the very best thing you can do is stay in school. When you are being bullied it is hard to know what to do, but the best advice I can give you is to not let them see if you are scared of them and get the authorities involved. Bullies count on people being afraid of them and afraid of being made fun of for going to the authorities. Do not let them scare you.
I hope for the best Cauis and I genuinely hope that you stay in school and continue with a good career.

Vuk

[Andres]

Imho, getting bullied has much to do with lack of self-confidence. I'm absolutely no psychologist, but I've always had the impression that bullies smell lack of self-confidence and they seem to have a talent to find an easy target. Personally, I got bullied when I was in elementary school. It stopped when I hit a bully hard on the face

You're a very nice guy Caius, friendly, helpfull and always avoiding to hurt or upset other Orgah's That's good and you should definitely keep it that way

But in RL, sometimes, when confronted with certain individuals, you need to let go that peaceful attitude and you have to fight back. You can do it physically, but that really should be the last option. Use your tongue. And most importantly act like you don't care don't care about what the bully thinks or says about you. Always keep in mind that he's probably just a pathetic who needs to bully ohter people to get some attention. He's the one having a problem, not you.

And if you have to get physical, no need to worry about not being a martial artist. One well placed kick in a certain spot will do the trick. I know it's not heroic, but the bully will certainly think twice before ever bullying you again. Unless there are several of them. If you think hurting him will result in getting beaten up by a group of cowardly bullies, you shouldn't even consider the physical option. Talk to your parents, to your favourite teacher (don't worry about the "you're a traitor/coward"-crap of other classmates, it's nonsense, they are as afraid of the group of bullies as you are), and if things are really looking ugly, go to the police (we had a bunch of drug dealers in our peaceful and respected high school, they got expelled after one guy finally had the courage of going to the police, afterwards, we learned the teachers were as afraid of them as we were).

As for a long term solution, well, you know yourself best. If you think you're lacking self-confidence, then please, don't feel bad about it. At your age, it's normal. Other kids of your age are just pretending that they don't lack self-confidence.

Join a sportsclub (and make sure you pick a sport you'll like, so that you'll keep going), take part in social events, build up your stamina by running/cycling on a regular basis, buy some dumbbells and do some weightlifiting, get an interesting hobby that requires dedication and hard work to see results (seeing the result of long and hard work is satisfying and will give you a very good feeling)... Anything that builds up your self-confidence. Ask advice to your parents, an older friend or a teacher.

But don't quit school. School doesn't seem to be the problem. The bullies are. Quitting school is like letting them win. And you don't want a pathetic bunch of attention seekers ruining YOUR future now, do you? Screw them, you are Caius and you want to finish high school. It's your life, nobody, and certainly not some idiot bully, will force you to take a decision.

[Geoffrey S]

Quit school, don't quit school - whatever you choose it doesn't matter. People do fine both ways. What is important is that it's your own decision, made on your terms. At the moment it doesn't sound like that's the case, and making big decisions in these kind of situations is a very risky business.

You make the decision, don't let it make you.

[FactionHeir]

Fighting back...it works, but you shouldn't break anything, just make sure you hurt them bad enough and look angry enough to make them back off. Worked for me when I was bullied across several schools during my primary and secondary education. The bullies would end up rather wanting to be in my good graces instead.

One more thing:
If you quit school, you basically let the bully win. You don't want this, do you?

[Sigurd]

Don't quit school... Could you change schools if it is that bad?

When I was ... in school ... I had no problems with bullying.
I might have been bullying others.

I remember being called into a meeting where the topic was this small kid looking like a cartoon character. We used to call him Texas Kid because of his looks. It was never our intention to bully, but this was the way he percieved it. All it took was for a teacher to tell us: He doesn't like to be called Texas Kid, and we stopped.
Have you tried this approach?

[Raz]

Ahh, but you say yourself that your intention was not to bully...

[Caius]

Have you tried this approach?

Rule no1: Thats the stupidest idea evar. Period. I tried, but the only thing I made was that they wanted to punch me so hard, with more angry than ever.

That will make them more angry, and I know it from my very own experience.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I was bullied to the extreme at this Private School I went to from 7th-8th grades (which is one major reason I went to Cyber School). Don't Leave. The Worest things you could do is

1. Leave School
2. Not Do Anything


Tell Someone. Or Fight Back (or Both). Don't sit back. It will get better Caius.

[Tribesman]

Leave school for the right reasons Caius , like because you can't be arsed with the education system , don't leave school because some idiots are giving you grief .

[Caius]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I don't want to be punched.

What? You mentalist. Back when I was a kid, I had to walk 15 miles uphill both ways to get punched.

But, seriously, perhaps you shouldn't dismiss your mum out of hand (This is a good rule of thumb for life, actually). If you seem to go out of your way to avoid your peers, even if it's just because you don't think you'd enjoy the social scene they're part of (I'm just extrapolating from what you've said here, feel free to put me right), it could easily be interpreted as you thinking you're too good for them. I'm not suggesting you completely change your personality, develop a 40 a day habit and get slaughtered every night, but perhaps making a bit of an effort wouldn't go amiss? Who knows, you might even have some fun into the bargain.

[FactionHeir]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

Hmm lets see, I don't go out much, don't drink and don't smoke and am fine. It comes down to finding the right kind of friends. Some people are full of vices, but there are a few here and there who will share your values, hook up with those!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

You should drink.

[Beefy187]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

Well Orgahs are your friends

You seems to be getting bullied because your not "cool" well if thats the case then your hanging around with the wrong guys. Get away from those bad guys. Dont give up talking to your parents. They are your greatest supporters.

And if you dont want to smoke, go out or drink thats fine. Just stick with it and dont try to bend your self.

Go learn some martial arts maybe..