Leaving school

[Andres]

Imho, getting bullied has much to do with lack of self-confidence. I'm absolutely no psychologist, but I've always had the impression that bullies smell lack of self-confidence and they seem to have a talent to find an easy target. Personally, I got bullied when I was in elementary school. It stopped when I hit a bully hard on the face

You're a very nice guy Caius, friendly, helpfull and always avoiding to hurt or upset other Orgah's That's good and you should definitely keep it that way

But in RL, sometimes, when confronted with certain individuals, you need to let go that peaceful attitude and you have to fight back. You can do it physically, but that really should be the last option. Use your tongue. And most importantly act like you don't care don't care about what the bully thinks or says about you. Always keep in mind that he's probably just a pathetic who needs to bully ohter people to get some attention. He's the one having a problem, not you.

And if you have to get physical, no need to worry about not being a martial artist. One well placed kick in a certain spot will do the trick. I know it's not heroic, but the bully will certainly think twice before ever bullying you again. Unless there are several of them. If you think hurting him will result in getting beaten up by a group of cowardly bullies, you shouldn't even consider the physical option. Talk to your parents, to your favourite teacher (don't worry about the "you're a traitor/coward"-crap of other classmates, it's nonsense, they are as afraid of the group of bullies as you are), and if things are really looking ugly, go to the police (we had a bunch of drug dealers in our peaceful and respected high school, they got expelled after one guy finally had the courage of going to the police, afterwards, we learned the teachers were as afraid of them as we were).

As for a long term solution, well, you know yourself best. If you think you're lacking self-confidence, then please, don't feel bad about it. At your age, it's normal. Other kids of your age are just pretending that they don't lack self-confidence.

Join a sportsclub (and make sure you pick a sport you'll like, so that you'll keep going), take part in social events, build up your stamina by running/cycling on a regular basis, buy some dumbbells and do some weightlifiting, get an interesting hobby that requires dedication and hard work to see results (seeing the result of long and hard work is satisfying and will give you a very good feeling)... Anything that builds up your self-confidence. Ask advice to your parents, an older friend or a teacher.

But don't quit school. School doesn't seem to be the problem. The bullies are. Quitting school is like letting them win. And you don't want a pathetic bunch of attention seekers ruining YOUR future now, do you? Screw them, you are Caius and you want to finish high school. It's your life, nobody, and certainly not some idiot bully, will force you to take a decision.

[Geoffrey S]

Quit school, don't quit school - whatever you choose it doesn't matter. People do fine both ways. What is important is that it's your own decision, made on your terms. At the moment it doesn't sound like that's the case, and making big decisions in these kind of situations is a very risky business.

You make the decision, don't let it make you.

[FactionHeir]

Fighting back...it works, but you shouldn't break anything, just make sure you hurt them bad enough and look angry enough to make them back off. Worked for me when I was bullied across several schools during my primary and secondary education. The bullies would end up rather wanting to be in my good graces instead.

One more thing:
If you quit school, you basically let the bully win. You don't want this, do you?

[Sigurd]

Don't quit school... Could you change schools if it is that bad?

When I was ... in school ... I had no problems with bullying.
I might have been bullying others.

I remember being called into a meeting where the topic was this small kid looking like a cartoon character. We used to call him Texas Kid because of his looks. It was never our intention to bully, but this was the way he percieved it. All it took was for a teacher to tell us: He doesn't like to be called Texas Kid, and we stopped.
Have you tried this approach?

[Raz]

Ahh, but you say yourself that your intention was not to bully...

[Quintus.JC]

Being bullied can be really tough, I think everybody at one time or another gets bullied. I was always a tall fella (5 ft 11 inches) in my secondary school, but there’re always some random prats that doesn’t seems to have anything better to do. I am rather gifted at football (Play for my own youth academy) and no-one in my year group gives me any trouble but the year 7 and 8s are less mature and likes to take advantage of my peaceful nature. I am an immigrant of Sino-Italian origin so that seems to be the reason. Talking to teachers doesn’t always solve the problem and some times you have to fight back in order to live in peace.

Considering that you only got one more year left then you really should stay Caius. Don’t let a couple of mindless idiot ruin your future.

[Rhyfelwyr]

If it is so bad you are thinking of leaving school then I would definetely talk to either your parents or a teacher about it. Because if you try to leave school then they will want to know why, and the truth may well come out anyway.

Or if you give us the address then we could always organise an Orgah meeting outside his house. There are thousands of members here, I reckon we could get a couple hundred marching down his street with pitchforks and flaming torches...

[RoadKill]

I thought you were one of the 300 Spartans. Scream some crazy **** and kick him down a well.

[Caius]

Have you tried this approach?

Rule no1: Thats the stupidest idea evar. Period. I tried, but the only thing I made was that they wanted to punch me so hard, with more angry than ever.

That will make them more angry, and I know it from my very own experience.

[naut]

Alright sounds like a couple guys who went to my school. Lucky for them our school, although it had it's fair share of s there were enough nicer people and people for them to relate to for it never to become an real issue.

In terms of changing yourself, that can be risky:

a) You lose sight of who you are and you become a facade of a person
b) They beat the out of you because your a "try-hard".

It can be done, if done early/convincingly. Yet, it sounds like it's too late for that since you've only got one year of school left.

You don't have to smoke or drink or anything like that if you don't want to, it's your prerogative. However, I would advise you try to get/enlist some help. It could be anybody, anyone you can trust. Because, you can't go through this without help. It just doesn't work.

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

You lose sight of who you are and you become a facade of a person

I can attest to that.

Best option having read through the whole thread seems to be to talk to your school counsellor or a teacher. As I and others have said, quitting now is letting the bullies win.