Leaving school

[Rhyfelwyr]

If it is so bad you are thinking of leaving school then I would definetely talk to either your parents or a teacher about it. Because if you try to leave school then they will want to know why, and the truth may well come out anyway.

Or if you give us the address then we could always organise an Orgah meeting outside his house. There are thousands of members here, I reckon we could get a couple hundred marching down his street with pitchforks and flaming torches...

[Fragony]

If it's only a year... Never been bullied myselve but a certain type tends to be the one, sit it out and enjoy a fresh start.

[CrossLOPER]

Short answer:

Don't quit, stay in school.

My suggestion is to bring it up with the administration. If that does not work, tell your parents. A little adult attention and the threat of being sued is almost guaranteed to shake up the administration.

I'm not sure what country you live in, but from my understanding, violence is an awful idea if you live in the US.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Don't worry about them, Caius. In ten to fifteen years you'll have a real job and a beautiful girlfriend/wife doting on you hand and foot while those bullies will still be attempting to relive their high school glory days, but get interrupted by their manager telling them to mop the floor faster.

If telling yourself that doesn't work, here's a more direct approach: Quitting school will set a very bad precedent, because in the future you'll be more inclined to do what you did in the past. Quit now, and you are a quitter forever.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

You should also consider that by next year they'll have matured to the point where they don't bully anymore. It's possible.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I was bullied to the extreme at this Private School I went to from 7th-8th grades (which is one major reason I went to Cyber School). Don't Leave. The Worest things you could do is

1. Leave School
2. Not Do Anything


Tell Someone. Or Fight Back (or Both). Don't sit back. It will get better Caius.

[Tribesman]

Leave school for the right reasons Caius , like because you can't be arsed with the education system , don't leave school because some idiots are giving you grief .

[Caius]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I don't want to be punched.

What? You mentalist. Back when I was a kid, I had to walk 15 miles uphill both ways to get punched.

But, seriously, perhaps you shouldn't dismiss your mum out of hand (This is a good rule of thumb for life, actually). If you seem to go out of your way to avoid your peers, even if it's just because you don't think you'd enjoy the social scene they're part of (I'm just extrapolating from what you've said here, feel free to put me right), it could easily be interpreted as you thinking you're too good for them. I'm not suggesting you completely change your personality, develop a 40 a day habit and get slaughtered every night, but perhaps making a bit of an effort wouldn't go amiss? Who knows, you might even have some fun into the bargain.

[pevergreen]

Or if you give us the address then we could always organise an Orgah meeting outside his house. There are thousands of members here, I reckon we could get a couple hundred marching down his street with pitchforks and flaming torches...

Gives me an idea for a unit:

"Orgah Band"
Special attack: Backroom debates

heh. you can fill whatever stats you wanted in

[FactionHeir]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

Hmm lets see, I don't go out much, don't drink and don't smoke and am fine. It comes down to finding the right kind of friends. Some people are full of vices, but there are a few here and there who will share your values, hook up with those!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

You should drink.

[Beefy187]

Oh well, looks like nobody its with me. Even my mum is against me. She says I'm being bullied because I haven't done a lot of things to be part of the group. I've got my "friends" (they aren't really friends, just good mates) support. Nothing else. I don't want to smoke. I don't want to go out. I don't want to be punched. I don't want to drink. I would have to change, but its a too high price I have to pay.

Well Orgahs are your friends

You seems to be getting bullied because your not "cool" well if thats the case then your hanging around with the wrong guys. Get away from those bad guys. Dont give up talking to your parents. They are your greatest supporters.

And if you dont want to smoke, go out or drink thats fine. Just stick with it and dont try to bend your self.

Go learn some martial arts maybe..

[Caius]

I think I didn't mention I have no friends in school. I'm a lonely geek in a club. I don't fit. Its me, and the price I have to pay for being different.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I think I didn't mention I have no friends in school. I'm a lonely geek in a club. I don't fit. Its me, and the price I have to pay for being different.

You're in high school. You are far far FAR from the person you'll be a few years from now. I don't know anyone who hasn't changed drastically since high school. There's a huge gap even between 19 and 21. Most people don't figure themselves out until 25. But here's the thing, you have to work at it, otherwise you end up being one of those 40 year old guys having a mid life crisis. I don't know you or anything but the best I can see from the way you talk about yourself is that your unhappy about yourself, so change that. You don't have to define yourself by your differences.

[Caius]

Have you tried this approach?

Rule no1: Thats the stupidest idea evar. Period. I tried, but the only thing I made was that they wanted to punch me so hard, with more angry than ever.

That will make them more angry, and I know it from my very own experience.

[naut]

Alright sounds like a couple guys who went to my school. Lucky for them our school, although it had it's fair share of s there were enough nicer people and people for them to relate to for it never to become an real issue.

In terms of changing yourself, that can be risky:

a) You lose sight of who you are and you become a facade of a person
b) They beat the out of you because your a "try-hard".

It can be done, if done early/convincingly. Yet, it sounds like it's too late for that since you've only got one year of school left.

You don't have to smoke or drink or anything like that if you don't want to, it's your prerogative. However, I would advise you try to get/enlist some help. It could be anybody, anyone you can trust. Because, you can't go through this without help. It just doesn't work.

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

You lose sight of who you are and you become a facade of a person

I can attest to that.

Best option having read through the whole thread seems to be to talk to your school counsellor or a teacher. As I and others have said, quitting now is letting the bullies win.

[Geoffrey S]

Well. What have you tried, then? Quite frankly, if you haven't been through this with the school administration or your parents yet, keeping this problem spinning around in your head with no release valve, then I think you've got far more productive things to do than wasting your time asking these kind of questions on an internet forum.

We can't help you. Only you, the school, and your family can do that.

[Raz]

.... and a good friend that knows kung-fu.

[Riedquat]

Caius... more info is needed hermano, if you are in a public school and the reality is how you are describing it I would say leave it in next month, you are 16-17, its enough age to inscribe yourself in a nocturnal school, you know only adults assist there and generally only people who really wants to learn; and we need to be honest here, we know education in our country is very far from ... good/nice/elemental/digestible... but you'll need it for everything. If needed I would say do it without the knowledge of your parents, but be responsible for what are you going to do.

And remember always there are another ways to solve things, perhaps they don't seem smart enough today but in the end they are.

[Kagemusha]

Dont quit school, let me repeat: Dont quit school.You should not give up your future, because some people try to make themselves look bad by picking on you.If you feel that you have low confidence to put the bullies in their place. I suggest you start working out, when you are physically strong and fit, your self confidence will get better also in the process. Remember bullies are usually cowards themselves. If you can show them that the affair between you and them wont turn out to be one sided, they will pick another to bully around.But what ever you do, dont throw away your future, because some loosers.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I've been in a similar situation where my friends (or more acquantances) were more the partying type and I wasn't, partly because of my parents but also because I'm not like that anyway.

Basically all that happened was I stopped hanging about with them. I've had people maybe try to bully me in the past, but its never went very far and they gave up pretty easily. I've been told by two different people, one in my Primary Scool and one in secondary, that people sometimes just have a go at me because they know I do not care.

If you don't let them get to you, then they will leave you alone.

And don't listen to your parents. In hindsight the closest people I have had to bullies in my lives have been my parents. If they are proving to be a brickwall, then talk to a teacher or even someone higher up in the school. Do not mess up the rest of your life over these idiots.

[Vuk]

Caius, I want to stress again that it is a really good idea to go to the authorities. Also, if you do not have a High-school diploma in America, that cuts 90% of the opportunitties out there. Stay with it whatever you do.
Also, about bullying; I have studied martial arts for quite a few years, and one of the first things they teach you (and I have seen it in my own experience) is that bullies are cowards. They only pick on people they see as weak. If you act like a victim they will treat you like one. I know it is really hard for a young person in highschool to grab the gaul and self confidence it takes, but you have to. That is really how you grow up. When you walk, do it with confindence and indifference. When you talk in front of other people, talk with confidence and don't show fear. If they threaten you or hit them, look them in the eyes and tell them with total confidence and absolute certainty that if they do it again, you are going to report them. Walk away.

Also, I would highly recommend learning a practical self-defense technique. I would suggest Taiji Quan.

Vuk

[Samurai Waki]

I only ever had one bully in the my life. New kid on the block so to speak, he pushed my around one day, so I turned around and smashed him in the face, broke his nose, four of his teeth, and gave him a black eye... I forgot to tell him I was three days away from getting my black belt in Judo. Needless to say, nobody bothered bullying me after that.

[Caius]

Time to get my punch bag in the backyard and practice it. I'm not a violent guy, but well, you force me to do so.

Sasaki, do you have a bat?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

A hatchet actually.

[Makanyane]

Make sure you know what you need to achieve to get though your exams, and to go on to further studies in better place (colleges are much less prone to bullying) or to get the job you want, and concentrate on that, don't let anyone put you off those aims - else you let the bullies win and they bugger up your life!

Generally bullies are cowards, facing them down can work sometimes, but don't push the point if they have lots of people joining in on their side and you don't! If necessary try to avoid them in social settings outside school - but make sure you do get to school for the necessary lessons /exams where there should be adult protection anyway.

[edyzmedieval]

Oh man, oh man. Bullying. I've been bullied so many times that I lost count. Everytime I felt so bad that I wanted to take a gun and shoot then. But everytime I chilled down because I knew it's not worth it. I always had friends due to my sociable nature so it wasn't a problem of that.

I don't drink. I don't smoke. I like clubbing but don't go often.

But I was always friends with the bigger guys. Back in the 7th and 8th grade, I was ok with my classmates (they weren't very fond of me) and sometimes I got into fights (once I got it so badly - a fist in the back of my head - that blood dripped from my nose). But I seriously didn't give a damn about these morons. I always concentrated on my thing and at one point 2 guys were kinda annoyed I knew the 12th grade girls and they didn't.

And plus, I always keep faith that I'll get my revenge one day.

So, ignore. Try to bite them. And when they come on you, run. Until you punch seriously or have the daisies to give them a bat between dem eggs, run. Run and fight another day rather than fight till you die this day.

Hope everything goes well.

[LeftEyeNine]

Btw, don't get scared of getting beaten. That's how you'd learn to beat.

Pain always empowers you in the long run.