The Basileus is crazy

[Hax]

I had serious thoughts about Kyrene for a while, but now I have a new target for Pyrrhus. I can´t say what exactly it is, but know that it will be a final epic target, or at least he will think so.

Ireland or Scotland! It's not like they haven't got enough drunkards there! =D

[Africanvs]

Perhaps a female Eqyptian warlord will overthrow the Ptolemai dynasty and become pharoah herself, complete with a beard! Surely Pyrrhus couldn't refuse such a temptation. He could then have a Cleo-Antonian drunkfest in the palace until the Grey Death come a' knocking.

Great AAR, very humorous and it seems you've gotten the hang of the screen shots. Nice job.

[General Appo]

Ireland or Scotland! It's not like they haven't got enough drunkards there! =D

*cough* I have no idea what you´re talking about there, and I certainly have nothing like that planned *cough*
*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*
*Dies of coughing*

[General Appo]

Just a short chapter without any battles or real gaming in it, but some vital plot action. Though to school and football, I´m not sure how much I will be able to write, but maybe I´ll manage to get some more in this week. Maybe.

Chapter 5: The Great Journey

As Pyrrhos got ever more alcoholic in Salamis the gods despaired of him.

Long had they watched over him and aided him in all ways, seeing in him a second Megas Alexandros, but at every opportunity he had betrayed their trust.
Now they had enough, and finally gave up upon him and the rest of mankind, and went back to playing football on Mount Olympos, occasionally raping some innocent girl and poking fun at the Titans in Tartarus.
Only a few gods keept faith about mankind, cheif among these Athena, patron of Athens. She is determined to make Pyrrhos a second Megas Alexandros, one that will conquer to the ends of the world and more, and this time his empire will last for millenias, in a Golden Age of peace and prosperity.

In one of his drunken dreams Athena appears before Pyrrhos and tells him of all this, and he is overjoyed. However he somewhat misunderstands her instructions, and begins the preparations to sail to the end of the world in order to conquer it, and nothing along the way.
Athena simply bangs her into a wall and joins the other gods in passing water upon Kronos, having given up her faith to mankind.

Pyrrhos however sets out with great energy, and swiftly takes the first merchant ship he can find and sets sail for Rhodos, where the great Polireme is being built. He does not even take time to say goodbye to his youngest son and heir to his throne, but simply leaves him a letter, saying the following:

Dear Helenos.

I apologise for my many failures as a father. Know that I always loved you and wished you well, even in my darkest hours.
I am about to embark upon a great journey, to the end of the world, where I intend to set up a new Empire, worthy of the patronage of Athena. I am afraid that I must go alone on this journey, no friends or loved ones can I bring with me, only soldiers to slay those who oppose my rightoues cause.
I will leave most of the wine behind and the Scythian women, for this is a pleasurely vacation, but a most serious voyage that I have set out upon, and I must be focused upon my duties.
I do not believe we will ever see each other again, for my journey will be long and hazardous, and no matter how little I like to admit it, I am an aging man, the prime of my life long gone. I had hoped that togheter we could have built a strong Empire that would stand the test of time, but alas, that is not to be.
I wish you all things good and leave you no orders, for this is now your own life, and your own Kingdom. Perhaps one day you will follow me to the world´s end, and we shall meet again. If not, I shall wait for you in Hades, or the Elysian Fields, if the gods wish it so.

Your everloving father, Pyrrhos Aiakides.

So Pyrrhos set out for Rhodos.


Pyrrhos soon reached Rhodos, and after a short time of loading supplies and rowers he boarded the great ship, and set sail for his first stop, Krete.


So begins the great journey of Pyrrhos Aiakides, Basileus of Epirus, Syrakousai, Krete, Rhodos and Kypros. Victor over Makedonia, Rome, Karkhēdōn and the Illyrioi.
The world is moving, history is in the making. All across the known world armies are moving, forces are gathering. War rages on all fronts, but amidst this storm there is one man of calm, one man with a clear goal; to conquer the end of the world, and he will stop at nothing to acheive this goal.
So in this year of the 510th year after the first Olympiad, the third year of the 128 Olympiad, 489 years after the founding of Rome, 558 years after the founding of Karkhēdōn, in the 21st year of Pharao Ptolemaios II Philadelphos, 33 years after the founding of the Pontic dynasteia by Mithradates Ktistes and 57 years after the death of Pyrrhos great cousin, Megas Alexandros, the Great Journey began. And great it would be.

Next chapter: A time of war.

[Aaldaemon]

Suddenly, the figure started to speak. In a deep clear voice, carrying across the entire agora, he proclaimed:
-"I have a dream" and then slumped from the podium collapsing in a pile of unrecognisable bodyparts. Realising that it was just Pyrrhus, the people wandered home again, hopefully to catch some sleep before the sun arose and signaled the start of the new day.

Hahahahahaha. That cracked me up. Been a while since I had such a spontaneous laugh. Thank you General Appo.

[General Appo]

Thou art most welcome.
In the future I will refer to every year as being 4 AGJ, 645 AGJ and the like, to honour Pyrrhos Great Journey. AGJ of course standing for After Great Journey.

[d'Arthez]

Never knew they had extensive wine production in Ireland or Scotland. Else I REALLY would doubt Pyrrhus his sanity.

As for the bearded womenfolk ...

[General Appo]

Chapter 6: A time of War

Pyrrhos unexpected departure from Kypros has left Helenos devastated, and so he falls ever deeper into his many vices, gaining reputation as the most despicable man in the entire world, though he is both to drunk and stupid to either notice or care. He also uses this time to gain a truly enourmous stomach, earning him the name Helenos the Fat, something which he does not seem to object to.


The final drop for the people of Salamis comes when Helenos insists on reading his poetry to them, which is so bad that just a single sentence can make a man go mad.


The people of Salamis gets their chance when Helenos is away to compete in the Olympiakoi Agones, during a festival they chase the mostly drunk or sleeping soldiers away from the city, and quickly set about to arm themselves.
Incredibly, Helenos wins the games in the greatest scandal ever to have occured. He was so ill-conditioned the he could not even finish the stadion, and yet the judges awarded him the olive branch. After the crowd acussed him of bribery and started throwing stones after him, he had to be hustled away and quickly boarded the ship back to Kypros.
His brother Alexandros had also participated, and would probably have less for the judges unusal decision.


When Helenos returned to Kypros he found his army camped a few miles outside Salamis, and quickly ordered them to retake the city. First however he contacts some Galatian mercenaries who soon joins his army as they surround the town. The people of Salamis have armed themselves in the only way the can, as Iphikratous Hoplitai, and though impressive looking Helenos´s captains are certain their inflexibilty will be their downfall.


Soon however Helenos grows tired of besieging this backwater town, he wishes to conquer a greater city where he can live in the opulence which he deserves.
This chance is about to present itself to him.


Meantime Pyrrhos has reached Krete, where without even bothering to meet with his oldest son Ptolemaios, he simply loads aboard the prepared soldiers and sets sail again, this time towards Cape Tainaron, the famous gathering place of mercenaries from all across the Hellenic world. Here he hires many men to aid him in his glorious mission, mostly young Galatians and brave Karians, but also some mounted nobles from Thessalia.
When Pyrrhos sets sail Syrakousai, he does so with a great army, worthy of conquering the end of the world.


Around this time Ptolemaios one daughter, Nereis, have fallen in love with one of Ptolemaios´s captain, an Illyrian named Echemens Aulonites, who strongly shares her love. This man is part of the Illyrian tribe of Autariatai, and his ancestors have long served well in the armies of Epirus, so Ptolemaios is delighted when his daughter informs him of their love.


They soon marry, but not long afterwards Echemenes is called out on a mission.



The city of Halikarnassos and most of the region of Karia was a few years ago captured by the Epeirotes allies the Seleukids, however the region has now declared its independence, and joined the league of Greek cities. As this leauge is Ptolemaios and Echemenes sworn enemy this cannot be allowed.
As so Echemenes begin outfitting an army to invade Karia with, and defeat the threacherous Greeks.
He gathers men from both Krete and Rhodos, including some light artillery. He intends to besiege Halikarnassos and shoot down anyone who attemps to exit the city gates. When Halikarnassos falls, the rest of the Karian cities and tribes will soon realise the inevitable, and swear alliegance to Echemenes.
His plans are disturbed though, for no sooner have his army set up camp before a small Greek force comes to the relief of the city, and its garrison streams out to fight him.



In Sicily, the Karchedoi armies have temporarily abandoned their attemps at conquering Syrakousai, and insted invaded the northeastern part of the island. Though a combined army from many Greek cities and towns manages to beat them back, they suffer heavy casualties, and most cities are worried for their future. Therefore they seek the protection of Alexandros and Syrakousai, who is more then willing to give it to them.
The major city in this part of the island, Messana, refuses to acknowledge Syrakousai as its master, and conducts raids upon the territory of Alexandros´s allies. This cannot go unpunished, and so Alexandros prepares his army and besieges Messana.


After a brief stop at Malta where the fearful natives provided him with supplies despite being under Karchedoi control, Pyrrhos have now passed the city of Karkhēdōn and his proceeding along the coast of Lybia. Word has been sent to all Karchedoi cities and allies of Pyrrhos approach, but Pyrrhos travels with the wind in his sails, and the warning arrives to late for many, as Pyrrhos´s army plunders the shores of Mashiliem.


News from across the world reaches the scattered family of Aiakides. The Arche Seleukeia is doing well for itself, not only having driven the Ptolemaioi from Syria and Phoinike, they have expelled them from their last strongholds in Asia Minor, the cities of Tarsos and Side.


Rumours are also abound that they have stabilised their position against the nomads in the east, and much land north of Kappadokia and Media has fallen to them.

The up-and-coming kingdom of Pontos has established itself as the major power in the north of Asia Minor, having not only defeated the kingdom of Bithynia but also the Greek colony of Sinope.


The Romani are also doing well, at least against the Keltoi north of them. They have conquered much land, and is in the process of taking even more.


However they have still not managed to overthrow the Romani turncoats in Rhegion, despite numerous attempts.

So ends the 1st year AGJ, just one single year have passed since Pyrrhos left on his great journey, and already much has happened. There is war on all fronts of the scattered kingdom of the Aiakides, and much conquest awaits.

Next chapter: Sieges and battles.