Thanks to my african friend, I'll soon be a millionare!!

[HoreTore]

Oh yes! I got my first ever nigeria scam mail!!

Ok, he says he's from the ivory coast, so it's not a clear victory, but it still counts in my mind!

Onto the mail:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

From Mr Johnson Amed,‏
From: johnson_amed0003@yahoo.co.jp
You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 7:45:17 PM
Reply-to: johnsonamed05@yahoo.fr
To: johnson_amed0003@yahoo.co.jp

From Mr Johnson Amed,
Ave 11 Rue de Canal
Abidjan Ivory coast,

Dearest One,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. please don't be offended with this mail as i know not every body will like having such a strange mail in his address, since we have not known each other before, I come across your contact and I prayed over it and ask God to show me someone who is honest and reliable that will help me, I must not hesitate to relate every part of this relationship to you for you to understand me very well, and know how to advise me on these.

My name is Johnson Amed, I am the only Son of late Mr and Mrs Morgan Amed. who was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan the economic capital of Ivory coast during his time, my father was poisoned on a business trip to sudan and he came back with that sickness that led to his death, My mother died when I was a baby and my father took me so special. Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been planned by my uncle who travelled with him at that time, but God knows the truth!

Before the death of my father on 12th of january this year in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of $6.500.000.00 (Six million Five hundred thousand US dollars left in fixed/suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan, that he used my name as his only child as the next of Kin in depositing of the Money. He also let me know that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his senior brother and business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in another country where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management. that is the reason why i contact you hoping that God will give you the knowlegde to advise me more on these, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To provide a bank account where this money will be transferred.
(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 21years.
(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.
Moreover, i am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. please, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within one week, please indicate your interest to assist me in these regard.right now, I am in a guest house because of my uncle, he wants to destroy everything my father has garthered because my father is no more, I have to live the house for him as he treat to harm me. i am in a guest house now for my safety that is why i am on my knees for God sake asking for your urgent assistance.

I am expecting to hear from you soonest,
Thanks and God bless you for your consideration.

Best regards from,
From Johnson Amed,

And here's where I need your help; I have to give him a good answer, don't I? Can't let this great opportunity to have a laugh slip away, now can I? So, does anyone have an idea?


God, this was so unexpected... I haven't even made a thank you-speech! And to think, just an hour or so ago I was thinking to my self "gawd, it would be a laugh to get a nigerian scam..." And it was waiting in my inbox the whole time! I feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world...

[Adrian II]

And here's where I need your help; I have to give him a good answer, don't I?

Tell him what God advises you to do.

[Fragony]

Always beautifull when businessmen find eachother over such distances, that glance of mutual understanding, the fresh air of oppertunity this is truly is a great world.

Congratulations Horetore.

[Geoffrey S]

Isn't there that story of someone who scammed the scammers? Got them to send him money to make the transactions? Probably too good to be true.

[HoreTore]

Isn't there that story of someone who scammed the scammers? Got them to send him money to make the transactions? Probably too good to be true.

That would indeed be the best thing EVAH.

I'd be happy with just a cent or two.

[naut]

I'd reply something like this, (remember to make sure your name doesn't get attached with the email anywhere, identity theft chance, etc):

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Dear Mr Johnson Amed,

I am also a businessman, and have been for many years. I trade in a product which will surely be of use to you. And I'd love to to inform you further of that certain wonderful product. It will surely do wonders for your pride, self-esteem, love life and of course most importantly your sex life.

Now you may be wondering what this product may be, so let me inform you. I wish to sell you viagra. Now, part of the physiological process of erection involves the parasympathetic nervous system causing the release of nitric oxide (NO) in the corpus cavernosum of the penis. NO binds to the receptors of the enzyme guanylate cyclase which results in increased levels of cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP), leading to smooth muscle relaxation (vasodilation) of the intimal cushions of the helicine arteries, resulting in increased inflow of blood and an erection.



Sildenafil is a potent and selective inhibitor of cGMP specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) which is responsible for degradation of cGMP in the corpus cavernosum. The molecular structure of sildenafil is similar to that of cGMP and acts as a competitive binding agent of PDE5 in the corpus cavernosum, resulting in more cGMP and better erections. Without sexual stimulation, and therefore lack of activation of the NO/cGMP system, sildenafil should not cause an erection. Other drugs that operate by the same mechanism include tadalafil (Cialis) and vardenafil (Levitra).

Sildenafil is metabolised by hepatic enzymes and excreted by both the liver and kidneys. If taken with a high-fat meal, there may be a delay in absorption of sildenafil and the peak effect might be reduced slightly as the plasma concentration will be lowered. So remember to only take it just prior to any acts of congress, that is for the best results. And they will be good results, trust me, your woman (or man if you are so inclined) will be appreciative of your increased sexual drive.

In short, or will that be long, I forget. You will surely be interested in the purchase of good quality Viagra, for a small fee of one hundred and fifty US dollars per one hundred ninety milligram pills (US$150 for 100 90mg pills).

PS: You might want to purchase condoms or perhaps some pornography to supplement your viagra purchases. These are services I can also provide.

Kind Regards,
John Smith.

[Beirut]

I got one of those scam letters a year or two ago. I played along as much as possible, I wanted the guy to get really worked up. I told him/them I was an elderly widow and was very lonely without my dear "Ralph". I sent pics of "me and Ralph" that I got off the net. I told the scam dude it sounded like he was doing God's work and was wonderful to offer an older woman such a generous opportunity, and that is was so nice to have someone to talk to.

I kept it going for a bit, but then the other guy(s) just stopped writing. I should see if I still have the letters on my old hotmail account.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I've never had one, though I remember seeing a programme on this years ago.

It was'nt necessarily about trying to scam the scammer, more humiliate them.

I remember one guy replied that he was a member of some sort of extreme Christian church/cult, and that he could only do business with his fellow members. So to join this cult, it ended up with the scammer sending pictures of himself sitting balancing fish on his forehead and things like that.

[PBI]

I suppose it's not strictly a scam as such, at least not in the usual sense, but this one has to be my favourite out of all my spam:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

3 (+/-)* Earth/Hell

(Earth Mass = 1)



If you're going to Hell,

Check your reservation:





FrankHatchiii.com

http://www.FrankHatchiii.com



Introduction (Hell)

Page 1 (Initial Mass Displacements)

Page 2 (Universal Mass)

Page 3 (Solar System Mass Placement)

Page 4 (Galactic Mass)

Page 5 (Space Delineations)

Postscript (Reality)

F.A.Q.



Recommended Readings:

ORTHODOXY by G. K. Chesterton

MERE CHRISTIANITY by C. S. Lewis






http://www.FrankHatchiii.com



mailto:FrankHatch@FrankHatchiii.com



No email list is maintained.

Forward this email at your discretion (Matthew 13: 3-23)

This showed up in my uni inbox a few weeks ago. It basically seems to me to be the physics version of spam.

Well, I'm convinced. Clearly my ideas about physics were wrong all along.

I was quite pleased, as for some reason my hotmail account never gets spam (and certainly not physics spam). It's a shame really, as opening my inbox to see "200 new messages" makes me feel like I have friends.

[CountArach]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yj8ao9JxJ0

Nuff said...

[Redleg]

I got one to send me 88,000 canadian dollars via a conterfiet check before. Was real fun and I even turned the check over the authorities.

Really made the guy upset. Got a couple of email death threats from the knucklehead to.

If your going to run the counter scam make sure your using a false address or one you plan to be moving from soon, if you have them mail you things, I used a P.O. Box so the knucklehead only had the city I lived in right. Some of these knuckleheads have others involved in their scam so be careful.

The way I did it was claim that while I was willing to help I myself was finicially strapped and could not provide any money to his effort. From there I let him build his own agenda thinking he was going to get me to go along with his plan. Then to really ice the cake I told him I had to declare bankruptcy and could not deposit his check because the courts would of placed a freeze on it, and would of taken his money to pay the creditors, and that if he would provide an address I would return his check to him via the Nigerian authorities.

[CountArach]

Redleg, that just raises the bar

[Lemur]

I've never had the energy to really work these guys over, but there are plenty of people who have. Example one, example two, a good article on the subject ...

[CrossLOPER]

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1710265

[drone]

Tell him thanks, but that you would prefer the money in Euros since the dollar is so weak.

Nicely done, Redleg!

[HoreTore]

Tell him thanks, but that you would prefer the money in Euros since the dollar is so weak.

ROFL!

I'm thinking I've got until Sunday to answer the guy. It was sent the 14th, but I doubt he'll care if I'm a few days late. Heck, I could just blame it on being busy working on the company I started a few years back who is experiencing severe financial problems lately...

Btw, this mail wasn't stopped by the hotmail spamfilter... But Beirut's warning mail was... *pets spamfilter*

[LittleGrizzly]

Funnily enough this guy sent me a mail (same day as well i think) i was trying to think up some fun stuff to do...

force him to make a bebo page, i don't trust anyone who doesn't use bebo
he must conform to your 'religion' similar to stuff mentioned earlier
you don't like nigerians, he must renounce his citizenship as a nigerian once insulted you and you refuse to work with foriegners again

i think this is the best one, act really dull, make your spelling and grammer unreadable and make him explain everything in plain simple english then tell him you still managed to mess it up and you need him to explain again.

[Lemur]

I trust everyone has seen the Nigerian scammer music video, I Go Chop Your Dollar? Such lovely lyrics ...

I go chop your dollar
I go take your money dissapear
419 is just a game
You are the loser I am the winner

[LittleGrizzly]

You could always pertend to be an ardent nudist who refuses to deal with clothed people, not that it would be a pretty site...

[Caius]

There was another scam sent by PM in teh org.

[Rhyfelwyr]

There was another scam sent by PM in teh org.

Was that the woman who wanted us to read her husbands book? I got that a while ago.

I wonder if anyone actually clicked on the link...

[drone]

I think Soly actually started a thread in the backroom with a bogus account and a 419 scam email. Some pretty funny stuff.

[Makanyane]

I love the only marginally more sophisticated variation on these that I get about once a week...

I would like to buy products from your website for...... <spurious excuse>, please tell me how much is delivery to... <somewhere without postal system>, is cashiers cheque acceptable <umm no!>, please send me link to your website so I can complete this transaction.

Despite some of these being slightly more credible than others they always fall over at the logic gap between - 'I would like to buy... from your website' and 'please send me link to your website' - still I'm sure they'll figure that one out sooner or later!

[Caius]

Teh Princes Broken

[Csargo]

It seems legit, go for it.

[Vladimir]

Who is this?

[Banquo's Ghost]

Who is this?

It's Caravel. He's changed his username so often, he had to draw the line somewhere.

[Caius]

Who is this?

RIOP (Rest in ORG peace) Duke John.

[Spartan198]

Oh yes! I got my first ever nigeria scam mail!!

Ok, he says he's from the ivory coast, so it's not a clear victory, but it still counts in my mind!

Onto the mail:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

From Mr Johnson Amed,‏
From: johnson_amed0003@yahoo.co.jp
You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 7:45:17 PM
Reply-to: johnsonamed05@yahoo.fr
To: johnson_amed0003@yahoo.co.jp

From Mr Johnson Amed,
Ave 11 Rue de Canal
Abidjan Ivory coast,

Dearest One,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. please don't be offended with this mail as i know not every body will like having such a strange mail in his address, since we have not known each other before, I come across your contact and I prayed over it and ask God to show me someone who is honest and reliable that will help me, I must not hesitate to relate every part of this relationship to you for you to understand me very well, and know how to advise me on these.

My name is Johnson Amed, I am the only Son of late Mr and Mrs Morgan Amed. who was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan the economic capital of Ivory coast during his time, my father was poisoned on a business trip to sudan and he came back with that sickness that led to his death, My mother died when I was a baby and my father took me so special. Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been planned by my uncle who travelled with him at that time, but God knows the truth!

Before the death of my father on 12th of january this year in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of $6.500.000.00 (Six million Five hundred thousand US dollars left in fixed/suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan, that he used my name as his only child as the next of Kin in depositing of the Money. He also let me know that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his senior brother and business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in another country where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management. that is the reason why i contact you hoping that God will give you the knowlegde to advise me more on these, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To provide a bank account where this money will be transferred.
(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 21years.
(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.
Moreover, i am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. please, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within one week, please indicate your interest to assist me in these regard.right now, I am in a guest house because of my uncle, he wants to destroy everything my father has garthered because my father is no more, I have to live the house for him as he treat to harm me. i am in a guest house now for my safety that is why i am on my knees for God sake asking for your urgent assistance.

I am expecting to hear from you soonest,
Thanks and God bless you for your consideration.

Best regards from,
From Johnson Amed,

And here's where I need your help; I have to give him a good answer, don't I? Can't let this great opportunity to have a laugh slip away, now can I? So, does anyone have an idea?


God, this was so unexpected... I haven't even made a thank you-speech! And to think, just an hour or so ago I was thinking to my self "gawd, it would be a laugh to get a nigerian scam..." And it was waiting in my inbox the whole time! I feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world...

It's definitely a scam, dude. I got an email exactly like this yesterday, and I've also gotten numerous ones claiming I'm the reciprient of several hundred million British pounds as named by my "distant Uncle Robert in Blackpool".
Only two problems there: (a) I have an Uncle Robert, but he lives in northern California, and (b) my family ties to the "motherland" disappeared a little after AD 1500 (my dad's researched all that stuff).
It's all a scam to get your bank account # and whatever else.
Take it from a guy who actually fell for one of these scams.

[PBI]

There seems to me to be a lot of these scams about at the moment. Today I got my first ever "fake lottery" scam. Apparently there is some benevolent organisation which has decided to run a lottery on the internet, generously collecting everyone's email address, assigning them numbers, running the draw and then giving huge sums of money to the winners, all without me having to buy a ticket or even enter. And I've won! Fancy that!